Songs where the singer/protagonist comes off as a serious dick without meaning to

My Lean Baby, sung by Sinatra (lyrics by Roy Alfred) is slightly wtf.

My lean baby - tall and thin
Five feet seven - of bones and skin
But when she tells me maybe she loves me
I feel as mellow as a fellow can be

She's so skinny - she's so drawn
When she stands sideways - you (would) think (that) she's gone
But when she calls me: "baby" - I feel fine
To think she's frantically, romantically mine

She's slender, but she's tender
She makes my heart surrender
And every night, when I hold her tight
The feeling is nice - my arms can go around twice

My lean baby - she's so slim
A broomstick's wider - but not as trim
And when she starts to kiss me - then I know
I love her so, I'll never, ever, let her go

My lean baby - strange to see
And all that nothing - it belongs to me
And though she may be scrawny - she's ok
Because I wouldn't want her any other way

She's so skinny - she's so drawn
When she stands sideways - you (would) think (that) she's gone
But when she calls me: "baby" - I feel fine
To think she's frantically, romantically mine

I chased her - and I caught her
Then a diamond ring - I bought her
(hey) the diamonds shine - the ring is so fine
But here is the twist - she wears it right on her wrist

My lean baby - she's so slim
A broomstick's wider - but not as trim
And when she starts to kiss me - then I know
I love her so, I'll never, ever, let her go

My lean baby - tall and thin...
(do-do-do-do-do,...)

Lobo - Don't Expect Me To Be Your Friend

She was gonna be my wife
And I was gonna be her man
But she let another guy come between us
And it shattered our plans

Well, Rhonda you caught my eye
And I can give you lotsa reasons why
You gotta help me Rhonda
Help me get her out of my heart

entire song is about Rhonda being a rebound

yup. and she's just "gotta" provide this emotional labor, cause he's bummed. he does declare that he can give her "lots of reasons why" this might actually be worth her while, but we don't hear them. bummer cause it's an amazing song.

yup, absolutely a rebound.

Barbara Ann is similar in theme. Both see the Beach Boys stumbling around tipsy and desperate at the party, pinning hopes and dreams on various women, believing if they reciprocate then everything will be okay

although i know Barbara Ann isn't an OG BB's song.

"Didn't I (Blow Your Mind)," though obviously a towering classic, is kinda one of these.

Ghostbusters theme.

Look I get what Ray is trying to do. But he's making Janine's job hell.

Look at the reasons he urges you to call:

*Something strange in your neighborhood (Like...a robbery?)

*Something weird and it don't look good (Like a crazy guy ranting with a megaphone?)

*If you're seeing things running through your head (Like...an acid trip?)

*If you're all alone (da fuq?)

Like the only valid reason he gives id the invisible man in the bed. Poor Janine is probably referring customers elsewhere all day

The Turtles, "Happy Together"

(That "My Lean Baby" song is amazing, btw)

From Sammy Johns 1973 hit, "Chevy Van":

"I gave a girl a ride in my wagon
She crawled in and took control
She was tired as her mind was a-draggin'
I said get some sleep and dream of rock'n'roll

'Cause like a princess she was laying there
Moonlight dancing off her hair
She woke up and took me by the hand
She's gonna love me in my Chevy van and that's all right with me

I put her out in a town that was so small
You could throw a rock from end to end
A dirt road main street, she walked off in bare feet
It's a shame I won't be passin' through again"

At least he waited for her to make the first move.

The singer in “Wham Rap” encourages being unemployed and has contempt for working people trying to make ends meet (“Hey jerk, you work. This boy’s got better things to do!”).

Rather that than Mick Jagger's contempt for the unemployed and 'lazy' & belief that work can 'kill poverty' in Let's Work.

pretty sure it turned out he did have better things to do with the time the dole allowed him to develop his skills, too

The dole is a vital part of the nurturing of new artistic talent, its destruction has robbed the country of a good deal of talent, however there will always be normies and no need to be rude to them just for doing their thing, see also Too Much Too Young.

tbf there are like twenty lines of the NPCs attacking and degrading him before he finally snaps in response with the outrageously extreme verbal assault “hey, jerk”

Ha, I didn't know George Michael rapped about the joys of collecting unemployment in 1982.

I’m on Michael’s side here. There are better things for a young person to do with their time than fuck with the toad Work.

tbf there are like twenty lines of the NPCs attacking and degrading him before he finally snaps in response with the outrageously extreme verbal assault “hey, jerk”

This is an amusing comment, but is anyone attacking & degrading him? It sounds like GM is the one an assault most of the time (other than the few lines of ”Get yourself a job!”).

(Also, in the context of the video at least, those few lines of nagging are coming from the protagonist’s parental units.)

love this revive

i often think about how confusing the lyrics to my favorite late period Bee Gees song are:

I couldn't figure why
You couldn't give me what everybody needs
I shouldn't let you kick me when I'm down
My baby
I find out everybody know
That you've been using me
I'm surprised you
Let me stay around you
One day I'm gonna lift the cover
And look inside your heart
We gotta level before we go
And tear this love apart

Chorus:
There's no fight you can't fight
This battle of love with me
You win again
So little time
We do nothing but compete
There's no life on earth
No other could see me through
You win again
Some never try
But if anybody can, we can
And I'll be, I'll be
Following you

Oh girl, oh girl, oh baby I shake you from now on
I'm gonna break down your defenses
One by one
I'm gonna hit you from all sides
Lay your fortress open wide
Nobody stops this body from taking you
You better beware, I swear
I'm gonna be there one day when you fall
I could never let you cast aside
The greatest love of all

(Chorus x 3)

xp Bow Wow Wow did this idea in '81 with "W.O.R.K. (N.O. Nah, No My Daddy Don't)" but I guess their take is more inspirational than insulting unless you take it the wrong way

This is an amusing comment, but is anyone attacking & degrading him? It sounds like GM is the one an assault most of the time (other than the few lines of ”Get yourself a job!”).

I only heard the song today but in this version, the line Mr Snrub quotes comes up pretty early in the song before he even quotes anyone nagging him. The speaker is being a bit of a dick but I also get the feeling that he means to.

Reeling all morning from the Jagger "Let's Work" lyrics. I bet the production sounded very modern coming out of the studio monitors. I'm sure Mick was thinking, "let's knock this out quick, spontaneous, like "Monkey Man", but in the spirit of the day. 'S'not 1969 anymore." And he'd totally forgotten Prince having a "Let's Work" song in his opening set a few years back.

before he even quotes anyone nagging him

he's responding to unquoted criticisms though - "You can't tell me that I'm not," "So you don't approve - well who asked you to?"

Those criticisms may be all in his head, though -- the way I hear it, he's just be projecting them onto the "Hey, everybody" he's addressing.

FTR, here's the original version:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BsyHQgiem8c

In the streets
In the cars
On the underground
If you listen real hard
You can hear the sound
Of a million people
Switching off for work
Well listen Mr. Average
You're a jerk

I'm loving the deep dive into Wham! lyrics, but as someone else commented, I think GM does actually mean to come off like a dick.

"Young Guns", from the same album, mines similar anti-norm territory:

When I saw that girl upon your arm,
I knew she won your heart with a fatal charm.
I said "Soul Boy, let's hit the town!"
I said "Soul Boy, what's with the frown?"
But in return, all you could say was
"Hi George, meet my fiancee"

Modern Lovers - I’m Straight

I know what you mean but I'm pretty sure the song was expressly designed to annoy hippies.

“Now, look, I like him too...”

luv that line

While we're on the subject of George sounding like a dick, what about "Everything She Wants"?

"Now you tell me that you're having a baby / I'll tell you that I'm happy if you want me to..."

"You say it best when you say nothing at all" ?

ouch

Someone suggested the Kinks' Sunny Afternoon upthread, but that really overlooks the irony and the ambiguity, both of which were clearly intended.

i've been rocking the first Buffalo Springfield album a lot and it's great but FULL of these, e.g. "You won't accept the fact that I'm not ready for the death of our forever love"

"get some sleep and dream of rock'n'roll"

I used to listen to AFN, and the dj that was on right before Wolf an Jack would use that line as his sign-off. Never knew that's where it came from!

Yeah, AM radio reception was always ropey

I love Emmitt Rhodes album but the sentiment on this song always makes me rmde:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JEuiyOcGfz8

It Takes Two, in which Marvin Gaye and Kim Weston go to great lengths to make single people feel really fucking miserable.

One can have a broken heart, living in misery
Two can really ease the pain like a perfect remedy

You're single and depressed? Suck it, loser!

One can go out to a movie looking for a special treat
Two can make that single movie something really kind of sweet
And one can take a walk in the moonlight thinking that's it's really nice
But two lovers walking hand in hand is like adding just a pinch of spice

Oh you think you're happy being on your own? Nope!

counterpoint: no one can ever break your heart if you stay single forever, whereas someone's liable to break it again if you get back the dating game after a breakup

also movies are better alone

Someone suggested the Kinks' Sunny Afternoon upthread, but that really overlooks the irony and the ambiguity, both of which were clearly intended.
Bingo. By the poster's logic, you could accuse Randy Newman of being a dick in most every song.

My Lean Baby, sung by Sinatra (lyrics by Roy Alfred) is slightly wtf.

My lean baby - tall and thin
Five feet seven - of bones and skin
But when she tells me maybe she loves me
I feel as mellow as a fellow can be

She's so skinny - she's so drawn
When she stands sideways - you (would) think (that) she's gone
But when she calls me: "baby" - I feel fine
To think she's frantically, romantically mine

She's slender, but she's tender
She makes my heart surrender
And every night, when I hold her tight
The feeling is nice - my arms can go around twice

My lean baby - she's so slim
A broomstick's wider - but not as trim
And when she starts to kiss me - then I know
I love her so, I'll never, ever, let her go

My lean baby - strange to see
And all that nothing - it belongs to me
And though she may be scrawny - she's ok
Because I wouldn't want her any other way

She's so skinny - she's so drawn
When she stands sideways - you (would) think (that) she's gone
But when she calls me: "baby" - I feel fine
To think she's frantically, romantically mine

I chased her - and I caught her
Then a diamond ring - I bought her
(hey) the diamonds shine - the ring is so fine
But here is the twist - she wears it right on her wrist

My lean baby - she's so slim
A broomstick's wider - but not as trim
And when she starts to kiss me - then I know
I love her so, I'll never, ever, let her go

My lean baby - tall and thin...
(do-do-do-do-do,...)

― MaresNest, Wednesday, May 23, 2018 12:57 PM (two years ago) bookmarkflaglink

What in the ever-loving fuckity-fuck is this?!?!

good lord

Seconding (only seconding!?) Stills' "Love the one You're With." Sounds like the hoariest of pick-up lines. "And if you can't be with the one you love, honey, love the one you're with." Barf.

Dion's "The Wanderer" is pretty dire on this front, too.

"Oh well, I'm the type of guy who will never settle down
Where pretty girls are, well you know that I'm around
I kiss 'em and I love 'em cause to me they're all the same
I hug 'em and I squeeze 'em they don't even know my name"

Yeah, you should be so proud, Dion.

the hollies' "hey carrie anne"

You were always something special to me
Quite independent, never caring
You lost your charm as you were aging
Where is your magic disappearing?

LOL, There's dozens of those 'ramblin' man/no woman can hold me down and didn't I tell you that once?' songs in folk and blues.