Star Wars Anthology shit talk (Rogue One, Young Solo, TBD)

Opening crawl: "Han Solo is a character in the Star Wars franchise. Han is a pilot from the planet Corellia, who is depicted as the second owner of the Millennium Falcon after winning..."

Ok lol

was hoping for a Napoleon Solo crossover

I'm not the biggest fan of filling in every gap which is why I'm not amped for this like I was for Ep 8 but i am totally going to see it anyway

this seems to describe 95% of the SW fanbase

even the "positive" reviews of this one are stuffed with qualifiers

brand loyalty is the stuff of studio dreams, this is still gonna make a jillion dollars

back to the trough, sheeple!

At least they haven't given Howard his own new trilogy yet.

no interest in this. VIII showed they have no interest in telling new stories, just in remaking or referencing the OT. it financial sense, it is their big investment, by idolizing the OT they add value to their brand. so they will do this OT spinoff movie, they will do an Obi Wan movie, maybe a Yoda movie, and they will do a bunch more OT referencing stuff in IX because that is what they do.

the post-Lucas films are obsessed with the OT. they are constantly referencing the OT and entire arcs of the films are lifted directly from the OT. people love the nostalgia for the OT, thus the movies are wholly about OT Love. even the "bold and risky" VIII was mostly lifted from the OT films.

maybe they will accidentally do something decent from time to time (Rogue One) but on the whole they don't offer much. i saw Woody Harrelson in a Planet of the Apes movie recently and thought "Yep, that is actor Woody Harrelson". i can easily see myself watching this saying "Yep that is Donald Glover dressed up like Lando." here we are doing a Star Wars. the new films are fan service, they are cosplay. they are product. like Mark Hamill's performance in the last one, it is closer to a skit filmed for a sci fi convention than the original movies.

Surprise!

fwiw, i haven't felt real affection for Star Wars in 30+ years, but I was moved by Mark Hamill's performance in VIII. Perhaps in part by the way Luke's exile mirrored his exile from stardom.

At least they haven't given Howard his own new trilogy yet.

I don't know, I thought Last Jedi was self-referencing done right, by making you reassess some of the assumptions and lore from the OT.

xxxp

They should do a young everybody movie, like Muppet babies.

Baby Death Stars

fwiw, i haven't felt real affection for Star Wars in 30+ years, but I was moved by Mark Hamill's performance in VIII. Perhaps in part by the way Luke's exile mirrored his exile from stardom.

This is the first thing I've read that kind of makes me want to rewatch VIII.

I don’t really compute Adam’s post at all re: VIII tbf

Morbs is otm, Hamill as cranky exile was the best thing going in that film.

Perhaps in part by the way Luke's exile mirrored his exile from stardom

I bet Hamill is very comfortable with his distance from stardom - he's the busiest working actor (the only busy actor!) from the original trilogy, and if he wants a dose of adulation he can do a convention somewhere in the world four days out of every seven.

(it was probably a mixture of choice and circumstance over the decades for him, as it was for Luke - but one doubts he's felt unfortunate since, say, 1993.)

i saw Woody Harrelson in a Planet of the Apes movie recently and thought "Yep, that is actor Woody Harrelson". i can easily see myself watching this saying "Yep that is Donald Glover dressed up like Lando."

Spoilers the actor Woody Harrelson is also in this.

I agree that Adam's take on The Last Jedi is, er, idiosyncratic.

Hamill's like one of the only people associated with this franchise who I legit respect/have some fondness for. He seems like a pretty smart, well balanced guy.

still ain't seeing VIII tho

you wouldn’t like it, there’s no death star

The death star is in our hearts

It's in there, it's just very small.

I want shakey to watch it and join us in realizing that Mr Bruneau is off the money

nah, adam otm

all the potentially interesting stuff that's dangled in front of the audience in ep viii (maybe rey and/or kylo will switch sides! maybe the jedi order SHOULD be burned down!) gets swept away by the end in favour of resetting the status quo

essentially all that's changed between the beginning of the movie and the end is that luke is dead, there are less rebels than there were before, and the main cast is all in the same place

and there's not even a death star ffs

the Jedi order IS burned down, in favour of a decentralised system placing power in the hands of the worker

presumably JJ Abrams will ignore that and anything else interesting abt TLJ, but that's fine, I'll never see it

I want all kinds of crazy simultaneous plots and shenanigoats going on all throughout IX, then in the last five minutes Jedi Master Stableboy from the end of VIII saves the galaxy.

Ep 9 is going to end with all of the planets being destroyed and then the surviving Jedi (all 3 of them) piling into an escape POD and warping to another galaxy, where they speed towards mysterious planet Earth circa 1901 to begin anew.

lol at autocorrect

three jedi hurtling through space in a paperback book with a weirdly greasy-feeling cover

lol

http://media.rhizome.org/blog/9086/PZ7.jpg

the Jedi order IS burned down, in favour of a decentralised system placing power in the hands of the worker

tbf the only thing that actually burns down is a big tree - the jedi's holy books are preserved in the falcon at the end so those plucky force-sensitive workers coyuld easily find themselves yoked to the jedi order again if jj abrams wills it

the jedi's holy books are preserved in the falcon at the end

Was hoping these were just Chewie's Dejarik rulebooks.

So this week Disney announced that the next Star Wars Celebration convention is going to be in Chicago at McCormick Place rather than in Orlando or L.A./Anaheim as most of the previous ones have been. The Venn diagram of SW fans/MAGA chuds is now saying they won't go because CHICAGO IS A LAWLESS HELLHOLE. Like, compared to Florida.

Fine by me. Shorter lines for everything if these fuccbois don't go.

Haha, every time my mom comes to visit her dumb friends (she has smart friends, too) are always worried for her safety.

I mean McCormick Place is basically Thunderdome when you really stop to think about it.

The Lucas museum is going up in Chicago is it not?

No, it got run out of town!

Lucas went to check the city out and got murdered it was a pretty sad story.

Anyway, everything's cool:

http://www.materials-talks.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/no-guns.jpg

So this week Disney announced that the next Star Wars Celebration convention is going to be in Chicago at McCormick Place rather than in Orlando or L.A./Anaheim as most of the previous ones have been. The Venn diagram of SW fans/MAGA chuds is now saying they won't go because CHICAGO IS A LAWLESS HELLHOLE. Like, compared to Florida.

Caught a glimpse of some comments on a local Maryland news story recently: "they're trying to turn Baltimore into the next Chicago!" When Fox gives them their talking points, they sure do stick to them.

So this week Disney announced that the next Star Wars Celebration convention is going to be in Chicago at McCormick Place rather than in Orlando or L.A./Anaheim as most of the previous ones have been. The Venn diagram of SW fans/MAGA chuds is now saying they won't go because CHICAGO IS A LAWLESS HELLHOLE. Like, compared to Florida.

I live in Orlando and a cosplayer and I were laughing at how ridiculous the concern is. also there's way more to do in Chicago than Borelando

SW people should just cosplay and pretend lawless hellhole Chicago is Mos Eisley.

I've spent my fair share of time in Chicago and nothing there has ever worried me as much as crossing eight lanes of traffic in Orlando.

Orlando's traffic sitch is horrible at the moment too because of the I-4 expansion.

Unbidden, my phone has just updated me, via CNN, with news that "Donald Glover is cool with Lando being pansexual in 'Solo: A Star Wars Story,'" should there be any doubt that this is the most boring of all possible worlds.

— 𝕿𝖗𝖔𝖚𝖇𝖑𝖊 𝕰𝖛𝖊𝖗𝖞 𝕯𝖆𝖞 (@NickPinkerton) May 22, 2018

I thought this movie came out already and that the reason I didn't know anyone talking about it was because it had flopped.

Okay sooo Solo seen. Non-spoiler take: liked it a lot! Lightest tone for any SW movie yet but not without moments of grime (literally) and pathos. Very episodic in feel, if the whole idea of SW is growing out of serials, this really felt like a serial in full-length form, one mini-adventure after another. Couple of blindside moments especially towards the end -- it's been *really* interesting to see how the recent films have taken in material from the prequels and beyond -- and they do leave the door open for some future directions as direct followups if they want to go that route. Donald Glover is all that, but Ehrenreich did a good job of growing into the character. And of course Phoebe Waller-Bridge stole the show.