start a victory garden and ration your IRRATIONALLY ANGRY feelings, part 3

don't try asking jeeves what the best search engine is people, it's not helpful

(Officially just learned that AltaVista died an ignoble death several years back. Fuck, what now.)

a little bit of my adolescence just died :(

earlier today btw i watched my boss type 'google' into the search bar of his homepage, which is aol.com, in order to get to google to find something

this has happened several times and i think it's probably taken about three months off my lifespan

i think that's rational anger tho tbf

just googled aol.com cos i couldn't believe it still existed

This shit right here:

https://i.imgur.com/c7HEp4f.png

nailed it

I have to log out and clear my cookies sometimes just so Google will give me all the non-local versions of whatever asset I'm searching for.

(would a private tab be easier?)

mind did used to boggle when google.com would always appear near the top of the published searches, but these days there's a combined url / search bar so who's to know? in fact, if you try and type into the google search textbox on the chrome homepage the text ends up in the 'url' bar.

(the text box on askjeeves has a 'google custom search' watermark on it before you type)

You know, I could go incognito. That's never occurred to me.

I'm looking for art to use in a story about these retirement centers. We've published stories in the past about them, so all I'm getting is the old art that I personally uploaded, along with every other photo on our site.

im reading ilx incognito rn

You know, I know they're a necessary evil, but I kind of hate socks.

But think of the wonderful things I achieved as nude spock.

trying to start a roll of toilet paper is above my pay grade apparently

Getting tired of people moving out and the ongoing relegations. It’s like living on a construction site

Every bloody newsletter begging me to stay on because of the General Data Protection Regulation ('GDPR'), doing so almost exclusively in a grating 'innocent smoothie' kind of voice.

when someone's obviously under the wrong impression or misinformed in a conversation, and you reach out with the little olive branch of "well, I sometimes get that confused with this other similar thing, myself" and instead of taking the out, they double down on their wrongness

there's an entire group of people like this at work and it vexes me

One of my best friends pronounces genre as "ge-NAIR" and I still can't tell if he's fucking with me or not.

the hell

Fucking prices in hip cafes written with one decimal point - e.g. a $6.50 sandwich? No, that costs 6.5, how vulgar to refer to actual currency.

recipes that express vegetable amts in cups instead of how many vegetables you need

1 cup onion, diced instead of 1 small onion, diced

i get sometimes exact amts are needed but for shit like spaghetti or bastardized ragus & whatnot it should not matter so much

its rich to complain about that when the underlying issue is that you are a continent that pretends that a "cup" is a measurement

three continents tbf, though the US one is 10ml smaller than their northern neighbours and the other two continents

we've had weighing scales since 2000 BC ffs, "cups" for non-liquid ingredients is bollox - you can't order a pint of onions.

Taking sides: $6.5 sandwiches versus $3.169 gallons of gas.

Do some restaurants still have "the lady's menu" i.e. a menu with no prices listed? What a thing.

> "cups" for non-liquid ingredients is bollox

but a cup of sugar makes sense. a cup is only a bigger spoon so anything that is sensibly measured in tablespoons is fine as cups.

(maybe not honey, that would be messy)

you can't order a pint of onions.

THE HELL I CAN'T

I've been renting out/subletting my apartment (in a completely gut renovated building) to two very close friends for over a year and a half at ~60% market rate. It's a co-op building that has an on-site superintendent and porter and neighbors above, below and around. I am in another country and I get the most absurd texts.
The smoke alarm is chirping
a wire fell off the washer/dryer
the radiator pipe has been making a really loud clanking for 2 weeks
the stove is no longer igniting
the kitchen sink has a slow leak
the bathtub has a clog etc etc.

I don't understand how people can be in their 40s and not know how to deal with these very simple things.

Fuck ^^^

The one from last week is that they want to have a special birthday party in one of the shared common spaces that wasn't even open yet when I lived there, and they contacted me for the rules. The rules were sent out on their by management a few days later and my friends are surprised that they are so strict. It's like yeah, this is NY no one wants big parties in common spaces where stuff can go wrong or annoy neighbors or result in an insurance claim.

yeah you sound pretty reasonable to me, Yerac

When someone goes viral on Twitter and feels obliged to post an in thread follow up like

"While you're all here please check out my Thing* and maybe give me money"

Twitch/Bandcamp/Patreon/justgiving cause of the day

I can see why it would be annoying and have never done it myself, but when your labour of love is a constant struggle in terms of getting interest and getting paid for doing it and then some shit you've tossed off suddenly gets a massive amount of exposure, who can blame them for trying to redirect some of those eyeballs.

If any of my shit ever blows up like that, I'm gonna link everyone to this soundcloud: https://tinyurl.com/zvezgf7

It really annoys me when I schedule an appointment at say 6:45pm but then they tell me that I have to arrive 15 minutes before my appointment. Why not just tell me that the appointment is at 6:30? I expect to have to wait a bit once I'm there anyway.

there are two kinds of people in this world, those who turn up 15 minutes early for appointments and those who don't. that advice works for both.

The lack of any real transition from six months of wintery variations to swamp crotch weather is making me irate. Possibly irrationally so.

I used to work for this shady events company where it was mandatory that you arrive 15 minutes before your shift but you couldn't clock in until 5 minutes before your shift. I was like, I am sure this a labor violation somehow, but oh well.

that blows. Probably is, although the Supreme Court has ruled that showing up early to go through a security screening doesn't count as unpaid work time, so I wouldn't be surprised if they found some bullshit way to extend that.

Drives me nuts that my buddy tells me to shut up while we watch tv when he sees fits but 99% of the time he’s the one blabbing non stop and I want to watch tv in peace

when you're rationally angry at someone, then it turns out there was a good reason for them doing whatever it was that made you angry, but you're still angry and also angry that you can't be angry any more.

My friend asked for financial advice today. He's middle aged and has never had a savings account, has no savings. I couldn't even...

https://i.imgur.com/kJmOZ5Q.jpg

He buys $20 worth of lottery tickets a month. That is his plan A.

What has six balls and screws poor people?

Donald Trump, Jeff Sessions, Ivanka Trump and Paul Ryan

it's for the children, YMP

when you're rationally angry at someone, then it turns out there was a good reason for them doing whatever it was that made you angry, but you're still angry and also angry that you can't be angry any more.

― lana del boy (ledge), Monday, May 28, 2018 12:27 PM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I watched this in real time the other day: I was waiting to pick up a prescription at the pharmacy and they called me up to check on some information and the woman at the head of the checkout line did not even take a beat to assess the situation before she got all 'UH EXCUSE ME SIR, THERE'S A LINE?!?' And the pharmacist ensured her that I wasn't cutting the line and that everything was going to be fine but she was still visibly stewing, presumably over the dousing of her righteous fury.

Dear chain-smoking disease vector who brings a new tubercular ailment into work every three weeks or so,

Thanks so much for generously sharing your mucosal aspiration with the whole team. Please never examine your lifestyle choices just to appease a bunch of ol' fuddy-duddies who concern themselves overly much with public health and the extent to which it is compromised by your presence.

You do you, friend.

You do you.

With the deepest regard and the best of wishes, always,
Old Lunch