Last (x) Movies you are going to Avoid

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If Ebola spread to the most populous cities of the world in a mutated superstrain that literally turned its victims inside out it would almost be as good as Modern Life is Rubbish

hepatitis groan (Noodle Vague), Friday, 4 May 2018 08:24 (one year ago) link

Lean on Pete

Ward Fowler, Friday, 4 May 2018 08:24 (one year ago) link

The Young Karl Marx

xyzzzz__, Friday, 4 May 2018 14:55 (one year ago) link

These are real movies?

incel elgort (cryptosicko), Friday, 4 May 2018 15:18 (one year ago) link

lol yep

I’m seeing young Karl Marx for sure

type your stinkin prose off me, ur damned qwerty uiop (wins), Friday, 4 May 2018 15:20 (one year ago) link

Book Club. I suppose it's testimony to the power of...something...that Hollywood has made a movie featuring actresses of a certain age who AREN'T Meryl Streep. But no thank you.

Polly of the Pre-Codes (, Friday, 11 May 2018 22:35 (one year ago) link

Young Karl Marx is mostly harmless. Raoul Peck seems mostly drawn to the revolutionary-in-exile angle.

Frederik B, Friday, 11 May 2018 22:38 (one year ago) link

Before Death of Stalin today were the shit sandwich trailers for old people get their groove back movies Book Club and Finding Your Feet. (Saved by the Mister Rogers trailer as a lovely chaser.)

Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 16 May 2018 21:09 (one year ago) link

three months pass...

Via @iamchrishello I give you pure distilled awful

— Paul Duane (@MrPaulDuane) August 29, 2018

devvvine, Thursday, 30 August 2018 10:51 (one year ago) link

that has got to be a joke

Noodle Vague, Thursday, 30 August 2018 10:53 (one year ago) link

we can only hope

devvvine, Thursday, 30 August 2018 10:54 (one year ago) link

oh fuck it isn't. nuke planet from orbit.

Noodle Vague, Thursday, 30 August 2018 10:54 (one year ago) link


imago, Thursday, 30 August 2018 11:30 (one year ago) link

TBRR, I only know Sheeran as a subject of mockery on this board, but I don't need to hear a lick of his music to gawp in astonishment @ this concept.

Just eat a hamburger, it'll hit the spot. (Old Lunch), Thursday, 30 August 2018 12:02 (one year ago) link

Titles? I'm going to guess [Name of main character]-mania.

jmm, Thursday, 30 August 2018 12:09 (one year ago) link

it's got "the fool on the hill" written all over it imho

got the scuba tube blowin' like a snork (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 30 August 2018 12:12 (one year ago) link


Scritti Vanilli - The Word Girl You Know It's True (dog latin), Thursday, 30 August 2018 12:36 (one year ago) link

At great personal cost I once saw the most recent Bridget Jones movie, which has an extended arse-achingly tedious scene where Sheeran plays himself, not being recognised by the main character. It's one of the worst parts of a terrible, terrible film.

Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Friday, 31 August 2018 01:30 (one year ago) link

feel like theres a wave of conversion therapy movies coming out that i am going to Avoid

johnny crunch, Friday, 31 August 2018 02:25 (one year ago) link

The Front Runner

Police, Academy (cryptosicko), Monday, 3 September 2018 01:12 (one year ago) link

King of Thieves w/ Michael Caine, Ray Winstone, Uncle Tom Courtenay and all

Ward Fowler, Wednesday, 5 September 2018 12:35 (one year ago) link

i missed the sheeran revive last week but i'm lolling hard now at the thought that danny boyle might have dropped out of directing the next bond movie to direct... an ed sheeran movie

my dream is to never be a champion (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 5 September 2018 12:52 (one year ago) link

At Eternity's Gate - Julian Schnabel's Van Gogh biopic w/ William Defoe. I loved the Altman and Pialat Van Gogh biopics in the 90's, but just feel strongly that this will be some nauseating garbage (see also every other shit Schnabel movie and his entire art career).

calzino, Thursday, 6 September 2018 07:18 (one year ago) link

there's a bit in the trailer where he says he's painting for people who aren't born yet

devvvine, Thursday, 6 September 2018 11:53 (one year ago) link

lol, that's probably summat Schnabel said himself in the 80's, just before Clement Greenberg told him his work was complete dogshit!

calzino, Thursday, 6 September 2018 12:15 (one year ago) link

Have we touched on the cringe-inducing trailer for Peppermint? It appears to be a Jennifer-Garner-headed remake of Death Wish (because one per year isn't enough?!) except this time every person she's killing is coded as Mexican.

got the scuba tube blowin' like a snork (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 6 September 2018 12:21 (one year ago) link

I really like the name. It's refreshing. Like...well, I guess like peppermint! Ahhh.

Digital Squirts (Old Lunch), Thursday, 6 September 2018 12:44 (one year ago) link

that doc where a wide-eyed dem travels to trump country

got the scuba tube blowin' like a snork (Doctor Casino), Sunday, 9 September 2018 17:21 (one year ago) link

three weeks pass...

Rami Malek as Freddie Mercury
Hugh Jackman as Gary Hart
Christian Bale and Dick Cheney

Engles in the Outfield (cryptosicko), Tuesday, 2 October 2018 22:34 (one year ago) link

A Star is Born, The Wife, A Simple Favour; I hadn’t planned on seeing any, but here I am at the cinema and this is all that’s on. Anyone have any idea which might be the most compelling of the three?

tangenttangent, Sunday, 7 October 2018 16:04 (one year ago) link

Christian Bale and Dick Cheney

this trailer generated a surprising number of whoops and cheers at my mostly 18-35 screening of A Star is Born. Everything about it remined me of what I dislike about Christian Bale's approach to acting and Adam McKay's approach to comedy.

You like queer? I like queer. Still like queer. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Sunday, 7 October 2018 16:29 (one year ago) link

I'd see The Wife out of that lot.

Why are people I like and thought I knew seeing A Star is Born? What is going on tbh

rip van wanko, Sunday, 7 October 2018 16:32 (one year ago) link

tt: only one of those is by Paul Feig

Shy Betting Mega Hit (sic), Sunday, 7 October 2018 16:40 (one year ago) link

I know we're in Oscar bait season, but the trailer for On the Basis of Sex further increased my Do Not Wants.

Accattony! Accattoni! Accattoné! (, Wednesday, 10 October 2018 13:03 (one year ago) link

Has Felicity Jones been good in anything?

jmm, Wednesday, 10 October 2018 17:07 (one year ago) link

i have never seen her, so that tends toward no

a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 10 October 2018 17:13 (one year ago) link

would be pretty swank to have seen every good movie ever ;)

imago, Wednesday, 10 October 2018 17:39 (one year ago) link

i find that whenever i reluctantly sit down to watch something, it's almost always bad, so imagine how awful the stuff i skip must be.

a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 10 October 2018 17:41 (one year ago) link

The white people I know are awful, imagine how much worse all those unknown brown people must be.

oder doch?, Wednesday, 10 October 2018 23:57 (one year ago) link

now that's an award-winning straw man intro right there

Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Thursday, 11 October 2018 00:33 (one year ago) link

one month passes...

Haha ok what the FUCK is this green book movie, how is it real. I saw the trailer and it was hilariously bad, it really feels like a parody trailer in the “simple jack” genre. Like, I might actually watch this it looks so bad

Pierrot with a thousand farces (wins), Sunday, 2 December 2018 18:31 (one year ago) link

dark gritty Driving Miss Daisy reboot

biliares now living will never buey (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 2 December 2018 18:34 (one year ago) link

Guido Mortensen vs ~articulate~

Pierrot with a thousand farces (wins), Sunday, 2 December 2018 18:36 (one year ago) link

one does not simply walk into Mississippi

biliares now living will never buey (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 2 December 2018 18:38 (one year ago) link


WmC, Sunday, 2 December 2018 18:40 (one year ago) link

Black Panther; I forgot to put that one down here months ago.

I Never Promised You A Hose Harden (Eric H.), Sunday, 2 December 2018 19:19 (one year ago) link

Cuarón, Jenkins and maybe a few others aside, this year's holiday/awards season crop looks pretty dire.

Timothée Charalambides (cryptosicko), Sunday, 2 December 2018 19:28 (one year ago) link

idk it seems pretty routine.

Roma (assuming)
Beale Street (assuming)
Burning (assuming)
Vice (assuming... w/e I'm looking forward to it)
The Favourite
First Reformed
Eighth Grade
Can You Ever Forgive Me?
Paddington 2
First Man

A Star is Born (i liked it for what it was but foh w/ any awards)
Bohemian Rhapsody
Green Book
Boy Erased
Beautiful Boy
Mary Poppins (wtf is this shit?)

flappy bird, Monday, 10 December 2018 20:13 (one year ago) link

i also don't think it's the worst year, but to be fair, a bunch of stuff on your 'good' list came out way earlier in the year.

|Restore| |Restart| |Quit| (Doctor Casino), Monday, 10 December 2018 20:57 (one year ago) link

yeah but they're getting nominated & winning, which is always good - silly to ignore films released before the fall/winter

flappy bird, Monday, 10 December 2018 21:49 (one year ago) link

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