pitchfork is dumb (#34985859340293849494 in a series.)

scott will never top his ayreon review tbf

that said, they've got a new one out! get on it

it was all downhill after that.

even the ayreon guy liked it. he e-mailed me.

“Mama Said Knock You Out” is almost his One Great Song. But I don’t believe a word he says in any other track he’s ever recorded. I was surprised to read that he had actually made the short list several times. The guy on the Grammys wearing the funny hat and nattering on about “Grammy moment” this and “Grammy moment” that — that complete industry tool in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame?

― we æt so many shimripl (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, May 2, 2018 10:37 AM (eighteen minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

alks;jdfp;laskjhdgfoashdgilsadf

https://youtu.be/0ilMpknVt2k

Gee how to turn a really good idea into something absolutely vile and terrible. And I say this as someone who's spent his life escaping the sound of Queen.

Careful, Queen are right behind you, watch out!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fc4lnoZFD9Q

I was prepared to defend a music writer’s right to be catty in a low-stakes listicle about how all our favorite acts are basically awful as both artists and people, but even by the opening paragraph - “the idea of a bunch of self-satisfied music-industry fat cats in tuxedos having rock stars assemble for a command performance in the Waldorf Astoria Ballroom once a year is precisely the sort of thing rock was created to be the antidote to” is just “this glossy bop-pop was the indifferent aristocracy to punk rock's stone-throwing in the late 70's” for an era where you can’t come out and say that.

a bunch of self-satisfied music-industry fat cats in tuxedos having rock stars assemble for a command performance in the Waldorf Astoria Ballroom once a year is precisely the sort of thing rock was created to be the antidote to

doesn't seem like chuck berry would have a problem w/this...though do the inductees perform for free? he wouldn't like that

popular musicians tend to like recognition and adulation and validation. and awards. and people clapping for them. and a good steak dinner.

i would get inducted into the rock n' roll hall of fame every day if i could

if I got free steak and cocktails, sure!

we need to con someone into an ilx awards sponsorship so we can all just go somewhere to have steak and cocktails imo

it should really just be called the popular music hall of fame, thank you for taking the time to read this insightful post

alfred i'd be honored if you would give my induction speech you will get your meal comp'd and get to meet jeff ament from pearl jam that's my promise to you

Most bullshit part of that NWA thing is that Niggaz4life is probably a better album than Straight Outta Compton. And wasn't NWA & The Posse the first official release?

niggaz4life had a studio budget but does not have any good songs. NWA & The Posse is a re-release of their first single, with 8 songs by other acts added to it to become a compilation album.

dude gets extremely mad at the inducted Rolling Stones members including founder Ian Stewart, because Andrew Loog Oldham thought he wasn't fuckable enough, but not at including three separate rhythm guitarists from different lineups. "It seems obvious to me that the Stones insisted on it and the hall didn’t have the balls to say no." lol

later on he gets repeatedly indignant about one of Pearl Jam's several drummers not being inducted*, then objects to Robert Trujillo being in for Metallica, but not to Dave Mustaine being out.

*elsewhere he slags off another one of the Pearl Jam drummers without mention of his earlier vendetta, for having been inducted, as a former member of another band.


Melle Mel's name is mispelled, above a blurb about respect for the Furious Five being faked.


He is now a rock elder, not exactly pompous but a little overeager to share his (intelligent but numerous) thoughts about anything.

you just wrote 214 opinions about rock musicians


Johnny Cash (1992)

A gracious albeit haunted presence to the end.

vs

Ray Charles (1986)

A graceful, elegant presence over decades.

weird that he or the Hall go with eg 'Joseph "Grandmaster Flash" Saddler', but not 'Paul "Bono Vox" Hewson'


With lots of help from producer Rick Rubin, they made their mark with extreme brattiness married to highly artful and meaningful samples

uh sure

Mnemonic device: The guy who doesn’t have a beard is named Beard.

he has had a beard for years now

LL Cool J. ... But I don’t believe a word he says in any other track he’s ever recorded.

oh I ABSOLUTELY believe that "Bikini: small. Heels: tall."

Lots of these blurbs are kinda fun though, and I like the actual HOF history seeded throughout.

niggaz4life had a studio budget but does not have any good songs.

truth

LL Cool J is the type of guy to say the puddin' is delicious I stake my life on it

niggaz4life was huge for a minute but out of all the massive rap albums from that time, it's aged the worst for so many reasons imo. it sounds like a really awkward halfway point between SOC and The Chronic, i mean i get the style it was going for but i don't think it's good. I'm kind of agnostic on the post-NWA Dre sound anyway, idk.

http://www.herbslist.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/herbs_list_logo.jpg

LL Cool J rules

who are these ladies and why would anyone think james is cool? such falsehoods

niggaz4life was huge for a minute but out of all the massive rap albums from that time, it's aged the worst for so many reasons imo. it sounds like a really awkward halfway point between SOC and The Chronic, i mean i get the style it was going for but i don't think it's good. I'm kind of agnostic on the post-NWA Dre sound anyway, idk.

― omar little, Wednesday, May 2, 2018 2:31 PM (twenty-one minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

The DOC's No One Can Do It Better is the missing link here, better than N4L or SOC

i listened to mama said knock you out and that album really holds up very well

farmers blvd is so funky

The DOC's No One Can Do It Better is the missing link here, better than N4L or SOC

kinda true but Eazy-Duz-It, Livin' Like Hustlers, Supersonic, the Michel'le album, and We're All In The Same Gang (plus 100 Miles & Runnin', which is great) are all in that missing link period too, dude was developing his skills and working in a range of styles. The Last Song totally sounds like a proto-Chronic jam.

I also adore how he sticks in a dig at Daryl Hall and John Oates when possible; those digs are as frequent the Roxy endorsements.

everything is dulcet

Wait, was that a joke, or does that writer really dismiss LL? That's the downside of being a young prodigy, by the time you make it to the halfway mark people start forgetting why you were practically legendary from the start. It would be like dismissing Big Daddy Kane as a hack best known for posing in Playgirl and appearing in Meteor Man.

writer is 57, doesn't actually understand rap at all except from a rock dude perspective, and paid absolutely no attention to it at any point other than reading the talking points of others

maybe uncharitable but it explains a lot

he's also got this interesting thing where he cautiously avoids being too sexist about women on the list but throws out quotes about dicks right at the start

wyman’s led zep list is the gold standard for bad cock metaphors for guitar riffs

'Joseph "Grandmaster Flash" Saddler', but not 'Paul "Bono Vox" Hewson'

what's their stance on david "david bowie" jones?

Or Bob "LL" Dylan?

https://dl.dropbox.com/s/2gtheh53vpgcwc2/20180502_182631.jpg?dl=0

I haven't heard the Janelle Monae record yet but a 7.7 seems like a good score not a bad score?

it's .4 below the threshold of actual critical success or something

I feel like scheduled publications could just do a "best new music" "check it out" and then a general reviews section with comments, maybe a little section for critical reassessment -- possibly as soon as the next issue! -- but pitchfork releasing reviews as things come out in sort-of-realtime means scores draw attention

then again, most monthly publications have done the score thing month-over-month but there's no feedback channel and limited space. I have no idea why someone hasn't done a website with that tiered idea plus a feedback boiler on the side. You could have all the sections on the front page, with them limited to the most recent contributions to each

if they were really rude there could be a "don't check it out" below the general reviews

Xxxxpost Eazy Duz It came out at the same time as SoC

One of the best things about Pfork (and I say this w/complete sincerity) is the lack of any Comments section. God I hope they never add one!

Just saw the Liz Phair set got a 10.0. This is a case where the score seems higher than the degree of enthusiasm expressed in the review (tho it’s a v appreciative review).

to clarify, I meant critical rebuttals and ongoing conversation from staff and contributors

never comments

Ah gotcha

if they really fucked up and assigned a low score to an album that's universally loved it could have an editor apologizing in an escalating manner about how they wish they could delete the original score but the database doesn't work that way

waiting for the 10.0 redress for the original review of her eponymous 2003 album.

I was just gonna ask – is Phair the only artist to have received both a 0.0 and a 10.0 from the Fork? Inquiring minds wanna know

To answer my own question – I see “Daydream Nation” was granted a retrospective 10.0 (and that article upthread says “NYC Ghosts...” got 0.0).

Flaming Lips too! Zaireeka got a 0.0 and Soft Bulletin got a 10.0.

The guy resented having to buy three more CD players, iirc.

he had no friends for borrowing, a 0.0 tragedy

0.0 friends.