Trans/Genderqueer/Agender/Questioning Thread

She died in 7/7 London bombing

oh my god :( :( :( :( :(

I came out to both of my parents on Sunday. I don't want to write too much about it because I'm still kind of processing. They were both loving and supportive, emphasizing that their only desire is for me to be happy. And they also both said, essentially, that they have known or suspected this since I was at least 13. So there's that. Parents always know.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Do you feel an initial great sense of relief? I know you mentioned worrying about how your mother would react more than once.

I honestly do. And my mother has offered to speak to some other family members for whom it might be difficult for me to approach. In fact, I asked her to talk to a couple of my aunts, because I have a cousin who is getting married in September -- one of the aunts is her mother, the other is kind of the family matriarch since my grandmother died -- shortly after I intend to start living full time, and I do not want to be a distraction at her wedding. If they all feel that I might be -- not because what I'm undergoing is bad, but because I have family members who are genuine fuckholes -- then I will RSVP "no" and just send a gift to the wedding.

My dad actually surprised me by telling me that his niece (via his second wife's family), who is 25 and pursuing a master's degree in computer science after getting a BS in oceanography, recently transitioned FTM and got top surgery. So I'm not even the first trans person who has come out to him in the family!

Après ça, le déluge, though. I'm currently working on an email to send to my company HR department, then I'm going to be talking to my boss sometime this week.

Phil, your posts here have been fascinating, inspirational and heartening. Thanks for taking us along with you on your journey.

go phil

congratulations and salutations. so far, this has been exciting to read. keep us posted as you're comfortable.

Phil very happy for you

only recently cottoned onto this thread. phil this is super super fantastic and i hope this goes as well and smoothly as it possibly can for you.

No idea whatsoever. In the abstract I know my dad will be supportive because he's a pretty liberal guy, works on his county human rights commission, supports and works for LGBTQ rights, etc. But I know the abstract can differ a lot from the personal when you discover your son is now your daughter.

a friend of mine has a son who transitioned a couple of years ago. he's hugely proud and supportive of his son (otherwise he wouldn't be my friend, let's be fucking honest), and as far as i know his daughter is also 100% in support. the positivity where it matters has made an enormous difference to this guy's experience. i can't even imagine how hard it would be to speak to your own family about something this personal and vital.

I came out to both of my parents on Sunday. I don't want to write too much about it because I'm still kind of processing. They were both loving and supportive, emphasizing that their only desire is for me to be happy.

utterly utterly brilliant.

Thanks, AA. This last week has been . . . interesting, amazing, encouraging, scary and everything.

The conversations with my parents went really, really well. The following statements came out of each of my parents' mouths during them:

Mom - "Do you know how long I've known this about you?"
Dad - "I've suspected this since you were 14 but promised I'd never bring it up unless you did."

My first thought was Why didn't you tell me?! Would have saved me years of doubt! But I get it. In any case, both promised me their unconditional love and support.

I talked to my boss and he's on board, and will let me let the rest of our work team know about it on my own timeline. I also spoke to the company EVP of HR along with our senior benefits administrator, and they are going to do everything possible to ensure a smooth transition for me, working with me to make sure all my identifiers are updated at the right time, etc. As well as reiterating to all employees that they expect all employees to be treated with respect and dignity on the basis of gender identity, among other factors.

I've talked to a few other friends, co-workers and family members now, so the circle of people who know has grown a little bit. I plan to start living full-time on Aug. 1, so in order to have all my legal identification in place I will be filing for my legal name change around May 15. It's so close!

Wow, just catching up and you've made so many moves so fast! Congratulations! So happy for you.

Wtg Phil, I’m so glad to see all these positive updates. I imagine at some point you’ll run into someone who disappoints you or is just an asshole but you’ve got a pretty fantastic collection of people in your corner.

This is a wonderful thread. Your parents sound great, Phil, as do you. All the best on the journey to follow.

one thing i've yet to do is talk to people at work about my... stuff. i'm not ready. possibly i don't think my gender bullshit is important enough for it to get remotely respected by my bosses or coworkers (this is just a projection of mine, again, i haven't even tried, i am very scared). getting constantly misgendered at work is starting to take a toll though

this is my way of saying i'm extremely proud of you phil

your gender bullshit IS important

thank you <3 <3 <3

When they hired you, they hired the whole person, not just the parts they get to choose. I hope you can find a path forward on this. Some fear is understandable, but it could be an opportunity to change your life for the better.

Next Tuesday is my public coming-out day. I'm so nervous!

you got this! I don't know you, but I'm proud of you.

wtg phil!

Yay Phil!

All the best.

Phil ftw

PHIL!

:D

'Hopes and prayers' have been sooo abused and misused lately I hesitate to mention that mine are headed your way.

yay phil!!!

:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

good luck phil! this is nerve-wracking and exciting and i'll be barracking for you 100%.

sliiiightly off-topic: atm my work is rolling out org-wide lgbti awareness training, which includes a hefty chunk of instruction on how not to assume people's gender identity or preference. it's unequivocal in telling employees not to be massive arseholes, but also to consider that people we know and work with might not be cis and straight, and to just fucking think before we speak basically. every org should do this.

that’s amazing

Yeah, that is great, AA. I'm not sure how it will manifest but I know my company wants to make sure people are well-informed. Something like that would be fantastic.

I also filed with the county for my legal name change (eek!!!) and am on the docket for July 11. My wife and I went to a family support group meeting this weekend, and it was SO GREAT just being among a bunch of trans and gender-fluid and non-binary people. There were two pairs of parents there whose children had recently come out to them -- one a 16 year old FTM, the other a 27 year old MTF -- and were really struggling, and it seems like they got a lot out of it. I hope they continue attending.

Tomorrow's the big day. I've got the list of FB people assembled that I'm including in this announcement, and I think between my wife and I we've finished writing it. For the last 10 days I've been posting countdown numbers visible to that list, but they have no idea what the countdown is for. So . . . surprise!

<3

For the last 10 days I've been posting countdown numbers visible to that list, but they have no idea what the countdown is for. So . . . surprise!

oh magnificent

They'll be looking for Gabbo and get something better.

Early this morning I posted a gif of that rocket launch that MTV used to use in promos, then I posted at 11am today. It's out there. Aside from the rest of my company, who will find out the first week of July, I'm publicly out. I almost can't believe it. I have been waiting since I was 10 years old to be able to live this life that I want and need to, and now I can. I'm a little bit dazed tbh.

I have gotten lots and lots of love and support from my friends and family and so many wonderful comments and messages. To an overwhelming degree. This would have been unimaginable to me as a child or a teenager. I can't believe how fortunate I am today.

If any of you want to connect with me on FB my new account there is eliza.k.dennison . :)

Congratulations!

Thank you, E! And you will find plenty of additional support on the “No Boys Allowed in the Room” I bet!

I have been waiting since I was 10 years old to be able to live this life that I want and need to, and now I can

I choked up at this. I can’t identify with your *specific* circumstances, but it gets the feelings of finally being freed from various closets just right. Thank you.

Congrats, Liz!

<3

This warms my heart. Congratulations Eliza! <3

Congratulations Liz!

Do you prefer Liz or Eliza?

Hadn't been paying much attention to this thread, tbh, but now that I've caught up I just want to thank you for sharing this journey! Congrats!

go eliza! so so happy for you

congratulations eliza<3

Congrats eliza!

Congratulations, ___!

(I will wait until you dole out your preferred nomenclature to fill in the blank.)

Your journey has been truly inspiring. Thank you for sharing it with us. And remote thank yous to the lovely people in your life for being so lovely about it. It's a thing what stokes hope.

Eliza!!!