star wars 9 grim resignation thread

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All these Death Stars. Can't anyone make a iLife Star?

DJI, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:06 (one year ago) link

boo typo

DJI, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:06 (one year ago) link

The prequels are the worst star wars movies and they have zero death stars. The Han Solo movie looks like it might be terrible and also not have a death star. Empire Strikes Back and the Last Jedi are good despite not having death stars appearing but it seems likely in both movies that a death star is being built somewhere off screen. Death stars are the secret ingredient that make these movies great and they should not be mocked.

silverfish, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:09 (one year ago) link

Can't anyone make a iLife Star?

only if Disney buys Apple

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:21 (one year ago) link

Wasn't that the plot of Wrath of Khan?

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:22 (one year ago) link

quiet you!

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:25 (one year ago) link

are people already actually sick of this franchise I can't tell anymore

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:33 (one year ago) link

In record time, we're sick of you.

Andrew Farrell, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:40 (one year ago) link

sorry if my mocking opprobrium is upsetting your grim resignation

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:45 (one year ago) link

iirc the ending of Episode I includes Anakin flying his ship into the core of a conspiciously large droid ship to blow it up

droid star, imo

mh, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:53 (one year ago) link

Episode X
A NEW THREAT

Utility data got stolen AGAIN.

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:55 (one year ago) link

i would be shocked if "solo" features no death star. i mean the first three prequels had the shoehorned fanservice scenes with like the plans appearing on christopher lee's monitor or w/e, and the fans bought it, so i feel like it would not be hard to cut away to the emperor and vader, planning to shut down the dangerous, unlicensed "kessel" race across the galaxy, and striding through their architects' full-size mockup of different control room schemes for a top-secret battle station. they could even create a young mads mikkelsen with cgi, to be showing it to them, with a closeup on his face to indicate there's more to him than meets the eye. only true fans who have seen deep-cut mega blockbuster "rogue one" will catch this reference!!! aren't cinematic universes the best!!!???

noel gallaghah's high flying burbbhrbhbbhbburbbb (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 19 April 2018 21:39 (one year ago) link

(voiceover): they weren't

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 21:40 (one year ago) link

It'll be some ominous rumour about the Empire buying up or appropriating massive amounts of material and labour. "They're building something, Solo... something big."

jmm, Thursday, 19 April 2018 21:51 (one year ago) link

If you look closely, you can see the Death Star go by in the background during the Kessel Run.

jmm, Thursday, 19 April 2018 21:53 (one year ago) link

"something big" version seems very, very plausible. and there'll be a whiff of the imperial march on the score even though the scene overall is supposed to have a totally different tone.

noel gallaghah's high flying burbbhrbhbbhbburbbb (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:04 (one year ago) link

will he have a bad feeling about it

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:13 (one year ago) link

You clearly haven't watched the trailer

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:14 (one year ago) link

why watch movies or trailers, I only watch merchandising

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:16 (one year ago) link

Trenchant

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:16 (one year ago) link

my Star Wars brand bag of broccoli told me all I needed to know about the Last Jedi

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:16 (one year ago) link

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/583rA2JlUjk/hqdefault.jpg

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:20 (one year ago) link

I can see you really honed that Whiney impression on your sabbatical, shakes. ILX's Rich Little does it again!

Across the You Never Her (Old Lunch), Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:23 (one year ago) link

(nice to have u back, bruh)

Across the You Never Her (Old Lunch), Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:24 (one year ago) link

pfft I think you will find my Star Wars hatred predates Whiney's schtick by several parsecs

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:25 (one year ago) link

kind of sad we didn’t name the thread “star wars 9? no great shakes. grim resignation thread”

mh, Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:40 (one year ago) link

/r/shakeydidnothingwrong

how's life, Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:59 (one year ago) link

i’m all for shakey complaining as much as possible

he’s like the jaded luke from the last jedi

mh, Friday, 20 April 2018 00:25 (one year ago) link

that tracks

shakey strikes me as someone who would enjoy broccoli

Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 20 April 2018 02:01 (one year ago) link

broccoli is good but i like brussels sprouts better

mh, Friday, 20 April 2018 02:21 (one year ago) link

Gif of shakey indignantly gulping space milk

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Friday, 20 April 2018 02:27 (one year ago) link

you get my ideas, Moodles

mh, Friday, 20 April 2018 02:43 (one year ago) link

https://i.imgur.com/QfDQYP4.gif

startled macropod (MatthewK), Friday, 20 April 2018 02:47 (one year ago) link

Lol

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Friday, 20 April 2018 02:58 (one year ago) link

what should happen is they finally make peace with the death star which has become a sentient being on its own Like in MOana they add teh heart of skywalker and it becomes a sexy big tree lady that fixes things

Rabbit Control (Latham Green), Friday, 20 April 2018 15:24 (one year ago) link

somebody give this kid a million dollars and a production contract

Οὖτις, Friday, 20 April 2018 15:46 (one year ago) link

still waiting for that day

Rabbit Control (Latham Green), Friday, 20 April 2018 15:46 (one year ago) link

What if the heroes slowly discover that there is also a Death Moon and a Death Heart and a Death Clover and a Death Diamond and that Lucky the Deathprecaun has been pulling all of the evil strings this whole time, what if that.

Across the You Never Her (Old Lunch), Friday, 20 April 2018 16:01 (one year ago) link

What if someone wipes off the dust on the nameplate and they find it's the "frienD EArTH STAR"

startled macropod (MatthewK), Friday, 20 April 2018 22:20 (one year ago) link

damned dirty apes

mh, Saturday, 21 April 2018 01:30 (one year ago) link

I'd li;ke a cross over of Hitchhiker's guide universe into star wars where the invinifteimprobality drive powers the new Golden Death sta turning it into the Life STar and they the wookies and ewoks run it

Rabbit Control (Latham Green), Monday, 23 April 2018 18:34 (one year ago) link

two months pass...

Appears Billy Dee Williams will be the returning cast member in this one

groovypanda, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 07:55 (one year ago) link

About time!

Actually, I haven't seen any of the new ones yet. Should I? I've never been a die hard or anything, but I've heard spoilers and I'm not sure watching movies where [that one] and [the other one] get killed off in succession has much appeal to me?

Chuck_Tatum, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 11:30 (one year ago) link

they’re moderately diverting, worth a look if you’ve got the time i guess

rogue one is the best of the new batch, haters don’t @ me

Do you hate the youth? If not then it's a good idea to see them.

Andrew Farrell, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 12:08 (one year ago) link

I'm just a sap who likes everyone having happy endings and whatnot at the end of ROTJ

Chuck_Tatum, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 12:15 (one year ago) link

see Solo! srsly it's about as feel-good as these get and there's plenty of Lando action

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 10 July 2018 12:17 (one year ago) link

rogue one > force awakens > last jedi > solo

this is canonical

Yeah Rogue is even better in the re-watching, i'm hoping the same is true for TLJ when i get around to it but not holding out much hope. Caught just a glimpse of the casino scene from it last week and was all 'urgh jesus..'.

piscesx, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 12:43 (one year ago) link

xp neither of those guys got nookie IIRC

drunk on hot toddies (morrisp), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 23:51 (three weeks ago) link

oh my god, i was wrong
it was earth, all along

you finally made a Wookiee out of me

now let's play big lunch take little lunch (sic), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 23:52 (three weeks ago) link


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