star wars 9 grim resignation thread

will they finally blow up the death star?!?!???

shakes!! :) hi

They've been blowing up Death Star after Death Star and getting nowhere. Maybe the trick is to not blow up the Death Star.

maybe they should build their own death star

and then the two death stars could make sweet sweet death star love and have a baby death star. a death starlet.

All these Death Stars. Can't anyone make a iLife Star?

boo typo

The prequels are the worst star wars movies and they have zero death stars. The Han Solo movie looks like it might be terrible and also not have a death star. Empire Strikes Back and the Last Jedi are good despite not having death stars appearing but it seems likely in both movies that a death star is being built somewhere off screen. Death stars are the secret ingredient that make these movies great and they should not be mocked.

Can't anyone make a iLife Star?

only if Disney buys Apple

Wasn't that the plot of Wrath of Khan?

quiet you!

are people already actually sick of this franchise I can't tell anymore

In record time, we're sick of you.

sorry if my mocking opprobrium is upsetting your grim resignation

iirc the ending of Episode I includes Anakin flying his ship into the core of a conspiciously large droid ship to blow it up

droid star, imo

Episode X
A NEW THREAT

Utility data got stolen AGAIN.

i would be shocked if "solo" features no death star. i mean the first three prequels had the shoehorned fanservice scenes with like the plans appearing on christopher lee's monitor or w/e, and the fans bought it, so i feel like it would not be hard to cut away to the emperor and vader, planning to shut down the dangerous, unlicensed "kessel" race across the galaxy, and striding through their architects' full-size mockup of different control room schemes for a top-secret battle station. they could even create a young mads mikkelsen with cgi, to be showing it to them, with a closeup on his face to indicate there's more to him than meets the eye. only true fans who have seen deep-cut mega blockbuster "rogue one" will catch this reference!!! aren't cinematic universes the best!!!???

(voiceover): they weren't

It'll be some ominous rumour about the Empire buying up or appropriating massive amounts of material and labour. "They're building something, Solo... something big."

If you look closely, you can see the Death Star go by in the background during the Kessel Run.

"something big" version seems very, very plausible. and there'll be a whiff of the imperial march on the score even though the scene overall is supposed to have a totally different tone.

will he have a bad feeling about it

You clearly haven't watched the trailer

why watch movies or trailers, I only watch merchandising

Trenchant

my Star Wars brand bag of broccoli told me all I needed to know about the Last Jedi

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/583rA2JlUjk/hqdefault.jpg

I can see you really honed that Whiney impression on your sabbatical, shakes. ILX's Rich Little does it again!

(nice to have u back, bruh)

pfft I think you will find my Star Wars hatred predates Whiney's schtick by several parsecs

kind of sad we didn’t name the thread “star wars 9? no great shakes. grim resignation thread”

/r/shakeydidnothingwrong

i’m all for shakey complaining as much as possible

he’s like the jaded luke from the last jedi

that tracks

shakey strikes me as someone who would enjoy broccoli

broccoli is good but i like brussels sprouts better

Gif of shakey indignantly gulping space milk

you get my ideas, Moodles

https://i.imgur.com/QfDQYP4.gif

Lol

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/JauntyAromaticFirecrest-max-1mb.gif

what should happen is they finally make peace with the death star which has become a sentient being on its own Like in MOana they add teh heart of skywalker and it becomes a sexy big tree lady that fixes things

somebody give this kid a million dollars and a production contract

still waiting for that day

What if the heroes slowly discover that there is also a Death Moon and a Death Heart and a Death Clover and a Death Diamond and that Lucky the Deathprecaun has been pulling all of the evil strings this whole time, what if that.

What if someone wipes off the dust on the nameplate and they find it's the "frienD EArTH STAR"

damned dirty apes

I'd li;ke a cross over of Hitchhiker's guide universe into star wars where the invinifteimprobality drive powers the new Golden Death sta turning it into the Life STar and they the wookies and ewoks run it

Appears Billy Dee Williams will be the returning cast member in this one

About time!

Actually, I haven't seen any of the new ones yet. Should I? I've never been a die hard or anything, but I've heard spoilers and I'm not sure watching movies where [that one] and [the other one] get killed off in succession has much appeal to me?

they’re moderately diverting, worth a look if you’ve got the time i guess

rogue one is the best of the new batch, haters don’t @ me

Rey as Palpatine's granddaughter is kludgey, that's why people hate it.

Yes, I know...

I've enjoyed re-watching this on TV, btw... all three of the new movies are pretty fun to revisit (and/or half-watch in the background). They all have their issues (and don't hold a candle to the original two), but I like 'em!

B-B-but her plot holes

feels kludgey

On second thought, I guess it’s no less force(-d) than the notion that Palpy’s natural son wouldn’t have been Force-sensitive, and that Palpy wouldn’t have kept closer track of him, etc.

I guess I missed the “Strand-Cast” discussion in The Madalorian. I know cloning is, er, long-established in Star Wars... but it feels a little too “sci-fi” somehow, at this level.

kind of blows my mind that after attempting to distance themselves from the uneven plotting and scattershot ideas of the old Star Wars books/comics/etc. the episode 9 crew was thinking “wow, so how do we end this” only to crib half the plot from comic series Dark Empire

no luuke, no credibility