star wars 9 grim resignation thread

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certainly counts more than the ewok films

until The Last Jedi, the last time I saw a Star War in the cinema* was Caravan Of Courage.

*or anywhere

chilis=lyrics...hypocrits (sic), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 23:22 (one year ago) link

the new movie will be brought to you by Xerox. the new movie will give your mouth sex appeal and will be right back after a message.

noel gallaghah's high flying burbbhrbhbbhbburbbb (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 19 April 2018 00:17 (one year ago) link

looking forward to this movie!

nashwan, Thursday, 19 April 2018 09:54 (one year ago) link

They'll probably find a way to kill off Chewie in this one.

Acid Hose (Capitaine Jay Vee), Thursday, 19 April 2018 10:28 (one year ago) link

Aye, they've taken an odd reaction to the fan fury over Chewie's death on the books.

I am not looking forward to this much, which is odd because I enjoyed the first two - but The Last Jedi is so much better than The Force Awakens, and so neatly critiques it, that the prospect of JJ Abrams returning to "no the parents / lightsaber / Snoke are actually really big deals, you won't believe what happens next" fills me with some gloom.

Andrew Farrell, Thursday, 19 April 2018 11:56 (one year ago) link

killing Chewbacca off makes no sense, he's in his prime middle age years while all these dumb human types are getting old

he could have an entire couple human lifetimes ahead of him, making all these shenanigans a past memory

mh, Thursday, 19 April 2018 13:20 (one year ago) link

the only ending I will accept would be Chewie ditching the rest of the characters during the climax and piloting the Falcon to unknown coordinates, with the rest of his long life playing out in wistful flashes a la the Six Feet Under finale

Simon H., Thursday, 19 April 2018 13:23 (one year ago) link

they kind of did that in the ending of the most recent cartoon series! their chewbacca-type character ended up riding off into the sunset

mh, Thursday, 19 April 2018 13:25 (one year ago) link

I hope Chewie finally succumbs to male pattern baldness in this one.

Across the You Never Her (Old Lunch), Thursday, 19 April 2018 13:30 (one year ago) link

I knwo its not technically a film but

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_Wars:_Droids

Rabbit Control (Latham Green), Thursday, 19 April 2018 17:04 (one year ago) link

cuz

An edited compilation DVD with the title Star Wars Animated Adventures: Droids was released on November 23, 2004. The DVD contained eight episodes of the series, edited together as two full-length movies. Besides cutting the theme song of the series, many other small modifications were made for the home video releases, most notably changes to the soundtrack.[2]

Rabbit Control (Latham Green), Thursday, 19 April 2018 17:05 (one year ago) link

the soundtrack on Droids is really weird in a cool way

mh, Thursday, 19 April 2018 17:17 (one year ago) link

There's nothing grim about a film 100% focused on revealing the secrets of campus utility data

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Thursday, 19 April 2018 17:17 (one year ago) link

is there some way we could mix together all the movies into one movie to end all star wars movies?

Rabbit Control (Latham Green), Thursday, 19 April 2018 19:33 (one year ago) link

so stoked for this

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 19:37 (one year ago) link

will they finally blow up the death star?!?!???

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 19:37 (one year ago) link

shakes!! :) hi

The Desus & Mero Chain (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, 19 April 2018 19:38 (one year ago) link

They've been blowing up Death Star after Death Star and getting nowhere. Maybe the trick is to not blow up the Death Star.

jmm, Thursday, 19 April 2018 19:41 (one year ago) link

maybe they should build their own death star

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 19:41 (one year ago) link

and then the two death stars could make sweet sweet death star love and have a baby death star. a death starlet.

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 19:41 (one year ago) link

All these Death Stars. Can't anyone make a iLife Star?

DJI, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:06 (one year ago) link

boo typo

DJI, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:06 (one year ago) link

The prequels are the worst star wars movies and they have zero death stars. The Han Solo movie looks like it might be terrible and also not have a death star. Empire Strikes Back and the Last Jedi are good despite not having death stars appearing but it seems likely in both movies that a death star is being built somewhere off screen. Death stars are the secret ingredient that make these movies great and they should not be mocked.

silverfish, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:09 (one year ago) link

Can't anyone make a iLife Star?

only if Disney buys Apple

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:21 (one year ago) link

Wasn't that the plot of Wrath of Khan?

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:22 (one year ago) link

quiet you!

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:25 (one year ago) link

are people already actually sick of this franchise I can't tell anymore

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:33 (one year ago) link

In record time, we're sick of you.

Andrew Farrell, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:40 (one year ago) link

sorry if my mocking opprobrium is upsetting your grim resignation

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:45 (one year ago) link

iirc the ending of Episode I includes Anakin flying his ship into the core of a conspiciously large droid ship to blow it up

droid star, imo

mh, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:53 (one year ago) link

Episode X
A NEW THREAT

Utility data got stolen AGAIN.

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:55 (one year ago) link

i would be shocked if "solo" features no death star. i mean the first three prequels had the shoehorned fanservice scenes with like the plans appearing on christopher lee's monitor or w/e, and the fans bought it, so i feel like it would not be hard to cut away to the emperor and vader, planning to shut down the dangerous, unlicensed "kessel" race across the galaxy, and striding through their architects' full-size mockup of different control room schemes for a top-secret battle station. they could even create a young mads mikkelsen with cgi, to be showing it to them, with a closeup on his face to indicate there's more to him than meets the eye. only true fans who have seen deep-cut mega blockbuster "rogue one" will catch this reference!!! aren't cinematic universes the best!!!???

noel gallaghah's high flying burbbhrbhbbhbburbbb (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 19 April 2018 21:39 (one year ago) link

(voiceover): they weren't

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 21:40 (one year ago) link

It'll be some ominous rumour about the Empire buying up or appropriating massive amounts of material and labour. "They're building something, Solo... something big."

jmm, Thursday, 19 April 2018 21:51 (one year ago) link

If you look closely, you can see the Death Star go by in the background during the Kessel Run.

jmm, Thursday, 19 April 2018 21:53 (one year ago) link

"something big" version seems very, very plausible. and there'll be a whiff of the imperial march on the score even though the scene overall is supposed to have a totally different tone.

noel gallaghah's high flying burbbhrbhbbhbburbbb (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:04 (one year ago) link

will he have a bad feeling about it

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:13 (one year ago) link

You clearly haven't watched the trailer

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:14 (one year ago) link

why watch movies or trailers, I only watch merchandising

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:16 (one year ago) link

Trenchant

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:16 (one year ago) link

my Star Wars brand bag of broccoli told me all I needed to know about the Last Jedi

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:16 (one year ago) link

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/583rA2JlUjk/hqdefault.jpg

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:20 (one year ago) link

I can see you really honed that Whiney impression on your sabbatical, shakes. ILX's Rich Little does it again!

Across the You Never Her (Old Lunch), Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:23 (one year ago) link

(nice to have u back, bruh)

Across the You Never Her (Old Lunch), Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:24 (one year ago) link

pfft I think you will find my Star Wars hatred predates Whiney's schtick by several parsecs

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:25 (one year ago) link

kind of sad we didn’t name the thread “star wars 9? no great shakes. grim resignation thread”

mh, Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:40 (one year ago) link

/r/shakeydidnothingwrong

how's life, Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:59 (one year ago) link

i’m all for shakey complaining as much as possible

he’s like the jaded luke from the last jedi

mh, Friday, 20 April 2018 00:25 (one year ago) link

that tracks

shakey strikes me as someone who would enjoy broccoli

Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 20 April 2018 02:01 (one year ago) link

i thought for sure shanana would be in solo

https://www.paradiseartists.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/bowzers-rock-photo01.jpg

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 20:11 (one month ago) link

surely Luke will turn out to be Rey's dad, or maybe Obi-Wan

an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 23:28 (one month ago) link

planet bearing an uncanny resemblance to mid-20th-century earth

― difficult listening hour, Tuesday, October 22, 2019 6:02 PM (five hours ago)

oh my god, i was wrong
it was earth, all along

(The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 23:43 (one month ago) link

xp neither of those guys got nookie IIRC

drunk on hot toddies (morrisp), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 23:51 (one month ago) link

oh my god, i was wrong
it was earth, all along

you finally made a Wookiee out of me

now let's play big lunch take little lunch (sic), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 23:52 (one month ago) link

one month passes...

holy shit, the opening crawl leaked!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OfSS1OuA3ag

master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Thursday, 5 December 2019 04:21 (yesterday) link

Not for long.

Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Thursday, 5 December 2019 16:14 (yesterday) link

lol it very much wasn't the crawl. it was a joke video that i suspect Youtube took down

master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Thursday, 5 December 2019 16:17 (yesterday) link

Copyright claim by Anti-Nowhere League

Chewshabadoo, Thursday, 5 December 2019 16:40 (yesterday) link

has abrams ever made a non-mediocre movie

american bradass (BradNelson), Thursday, 5 December 2019 17:08 (yesterday) link

well, there's all the bad ones

Οὖτις, Thursday, 5 December 2019 17:11 (yesterday) link

Lol

master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Thursday, 5 December 2019 17:11 (yesterday) link

lol

american bradass (BradNelson), Thursday, 5 December 2019 17:11 (yesterday) link

his film credits listing is extremely grim

rob, Thursday, 5 December 2019 17:13 (yesterday) link

which I guess makes him perfect for this

rob, Thursday, 5 December 2019 17:14 (yesterday) link

I know JJ said he loved TLJ and hinted he wasn't looking to undo it, but troll part of me wishes that he would, and then he and Rian Johnson would alternate directing/writing Star Wars movies every two years and change things back, basically getting into cinema's version of a Wikipedia reversion war

master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Thursday, 5 December 2019 17:18 (yesterday) link

Star Wars XII: Nuh Uh!

master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Thursday, 5 December 2019 17:19 (yesterday) link

Damn, seeing this in exactly two weeks but my expectations feel sufficiently lowered thanks to all.

nashwan, Thursday, 5 December 2019 17:30 (yesterday) link

I'm gonna love it

master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Thursday, 5 December 2019 17:38 (yesterday) link

3P0 having a bigger (sacrificial?) role this time should be a plus. Don't really care about Lando tbh.

nashwan, Thursday, 5 December 2019 17:40 (yesterday) link

I had to actually check a week or so ago to see whether this was coming out this year or next. So clearly I'm v pumped.

A Lifeless Ordinary (Old Lunch), Thursday, 5 December 2019 17:42 (yesterday) link

lando is great and will always have a special place in my heart for his role in the best scene of rotj (the first scene over endor when they realize that it's, uh, a trap)

jacquees, full of cobras (voodoo chili), Thursday, 5 December 2019 17:42 (yesterday) link


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