star wars 9 grim resignation thread

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googling about this this terrible joke has been made about a million times online

Louis Jägermeister (jim in vancouver), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:24 (one year ago) link

I'm not the biggest McCool fan but I feel I've got to at least give the movie a chance

mh, Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:26 (one year ago) link

star wars counting/running order grim resignation thread

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:27 (one year ago) link

hold on there fella, now what about the animated clone wars movie

broke into a cold sweat at reading this, but it turns out to be several episodes of the TV show edited together. my tally stands and is now canonical.

chilis=lyrics...hypocrits (sic), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:38 (one year ago) link

Lucas described the film as "almost an afterthought." Howard Roffman, president of Lucas Licensing, said of the decision, "Sometimes George works in strange ways." Producer Catherine Winder said the sudden decision added to an already large challenge of establishing a show "of this sophistication and complexity."

there's a thread for this, Lucasfilm employees.

chilis=lyrics...hypocrits (sic), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:41 (one year ago) link

ha, i was just gonna paste that exact bit from wiki

Mahogany Loggins (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:43 (one year ago) link

The episodes thus confabulated were never shown, though!

Andrew Farrell, Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:51 (one year ago) link

If Mulholland Drive counts as a feature film, then so does The Clone Wars: The Movie Which is Actually Just Three Unaired Television Episodes Stapled Together. And yes, this is a hill I'm willing to die on.

Across the You Never Her (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:54 (one year ago) link

(thrusts chest like a territorial gorilla) Bring it.

Across the You Never Her (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:54 (one year ago) link

most of Mulholland Drive, by The Guy That Almost Directed Return Of The Jedi But Didn't, was written* and much of it was filmed for the movie. The European/VHS version of the Twin Peaks pilot is a curio and a sidebar, MD is a film.

*via script and editing

chilis=lyrics...hypocrits (sic), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 22:14 (one year ago) link

Ironic sidebar: Richard Marquand was originally intended to direct Inland Empire!*

*fake fact

Across the You Never Her (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 22:19 (one year ago) link

clone wars movie got a theatrical release! certainly counts more than the ewok films. ebert even reviewed it.

noel gallaghah's high flying burbbhrbhbbhbburbbb (Doctor Casino), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 22:27 (one year ago) link

after VIII i really don't care what happens in these movies. they have nothing as far as original story. they have been relying entirely on re-staging scenes and sequences from OT films. they've already done the desert planet-Empire hijinks, the death star infiltration, the hoth walkers, dagoba training, the decadence of upper class war profiteers, the ROTJ throne room battle. what have they not taken from the OT...? oh i know, maybe they will have a scene where the new characters step on a trap Scooby Doo style and end up in a giant net, captured by furry creatures.

Hazy Maze Cave (Adam Bruneau), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 23:03 (one year ago) link

the new movie will have a Cantina reference. the new movie will have a Star Destroyer crashing into another Star Destroyer.

Hazy Maze Cave (Adam Bruneau), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 23:03 (one year ago) link

certainly counts more than the ewok films

until The Last Jedi, the last time I saw a Star War in the cinema* was Caravan Of Courage.

*or anywhere

chilis=lyrics...hypocrits (sic), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 23:22 (one year ago) link

the new movie will be brought to you by Xerox. the new movie will give your mouth sex appeal and will be right back after a message.

noel gallaghah's high flying burbbhrbhbbhbburbbb (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 19 April 2018 00:17 (one year ago) link

looking forward to this movie!

nashwan, Thursday, 19 April 2018 09:54 (one year ago) link

They'll probably find a way to kill off Chewie in this one.

Acid Hose (Capitaine Jay Vee), Thursday, 19 April 2018 10:28 (one year ago) link

Aye, they've taken an odd reaction to the fan fury over Chewie's death on the books.

I am not looking forward to this much, which is odd because I enjoyed the first two - but The Last Jedi is so much better than The Force Awakens, and so neatly critiques it, that the prospect of JJ Abrams returning to "no the parents / lightsaber / Snoke are actually really big deals, you won't believe what happens next" fills me with some gloom.

Andrew Farrell, Thursday, 19 April 2018 11:56 (one year ago) link

killing Chewbacca off makes no sense, he's in his prime middle age years while all these dumb human types are getting old

he could have an entire couple human lifetimes ahead of him, making all these shenanigans a past memory

mh, Thursday, 19 April 2018 13:20 (one year ago) link

the only ending I will accept would be Chewie ditching the rest of the characters during the climax and piloting the Falcon to unknown coordinates, with the rest of his long life playing out in wistful flashes a la the Six Feet Under finale

Simon H., Thursday, 19 April 2018 13:23 (one year ago) link

they kind of did that in the ending of the most recent cartoon series! their chewbacca-type character ended up riding off into the sunset

mh, Thursday, 19 April 2018 13:25 (one year ago) link

I hope Chewie finally succumbs to male pattern baldness in this one.

Across the You Never Her (Old Lunch), Thursday, 19 April 2018 13:30 (one year ago) link

I knwo its not technically a film but

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_Wars:_Droids

Rabbit Control (Latham Green), Thursday, 19 April 2018 17:04 (one year ago) link

cuz

An edited compilation DVD with the title Star Wars Animated Adventures: Droids was released on November 23, 2004. The DVD contained eight episodes of the series, edited together as two full-length movies. Besides cutting the theme song of the series, many other small modifications were made for the home video releases, most notably changes to the soundtrack.[2]

Rabbit Control (Latham Green), Thursday, 19 April 2018 17:05 (one year ago) link

the soundtrack on Droids is really weird in a cool way

mh, Thursday, 19 April 2018 17:17 (one year ago) link

There's nothing grim about a film 100% focused on revealing the secrets of campus utility data

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Thursday, 19 April 2018 17:17 (one year ago) link

is there some way we could mix together all the movies into one movie to end all star wars movies?

Rabbit Control (Latham Green), Thursday, 19 April 2018 19:33 (one year ago) link

so stoked for this

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 19:37 (one year ago) link

will they finally blow up the death star?!?!???

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 19:37 (one year ago) link

shakes!! :) hi

The Desus & Mero Chain (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, 19 April 2018 19:38 (one year ago) link

They've been blowing up Death Star after Death Star and getting nowhere. Maybe the trick is to not blow up the Death Star.

jmm, Thursday, 19 April 2018 19:41 (one year ago) link

maybe they should build their own death star

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 19:41 (one year ago) link

and then the two death stars could make sweet sweet death star love and have a baby death star. a death starlet.

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 19:41 (one year ago) link

All these Death Stars. Can't anyone make a iLife Star?

DJI, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:06 (one year ago) link

boo typo

DJI, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:06 (one year ago) link

The prequels are the worst star wars movies and they have zero death stars. The Han Solo movie looks like it might be terrible and also not have a death star. Empire Strikes Back and the Last Jedi are good despite not having death stars appearing but it seems likely in both movies that a death star is being built somewhere off screen. Death stars are the secret ingredient that make these movies great and they should not be mocked.

silverfish, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:09 (one year ago) link

Can't anyone make a iLife Star?

only if Disney buys Apple

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:21 (one year ago) link

Wasn't that the plot of Wrath of Khan?

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:22 (one year ago) link

quiet you!

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:25 (one year ago) link

are people already actually sick of this franchise I can't tell anymore

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:33 (one year ago) link

In record time, we're sick of you.

Andrew Farrell, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:40 (one year ago) link

sorry if my mocking opprobrium is upsetting your grim resignation

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:45 (one year ago) link

iirc the ending of Episode I includes Anakin flying his ship into the core of a conspiciously large droid ship to blow it up

droid star, imo

mh, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:53 (one year ago) link

Episode X
A NEW THREAT

Utility data got stolen AGAIN.

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:55 (one year ago) link

i would be shocked if "solo" features no death star. i mean the first three prequels had the shoehorned fanservice scenes with like the plans appearing on christopher lee's monitor or w/e, and the fans bought it, so i feel like it would not be hard to cut away to the emperor and vader, planning to shut down the dangerous, unlicensed "kessel" race across the galaxy, and striding through their architects' full-size mockup of different control room schemes for a top-secret battle station. they could even create a young mads mikkelsen with cgi, to be showing it to them, with a closeup on his face to indicate there's more to him than meets the eye. only true fans who have seen deep-cut mega blockbuster "rogue one" will catch this reference!!! aren't cinematic universes the best!!!???

noel gallaghah's high flying burbbhrbhbbhbburbbb (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 19 April 2018 21:39 (one year ago) link

(voiceover): they weren't

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 21:40 (one year ago) link

It'll be some ominous rumour about the Empire buying up or appropriating massive amounts of material and labour. "They're building something, Solo... something big."

jmm, Thursday, 19 April 2018 21:51 (one year ago) link

If you look closely, you can see the Death Star go by in the background during the Kessel Run.

jmm, Thursday, 19 April 2018 21:53 (one year ago) link

Medieval Times planet

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 18:02 (two weeks ago) link

Car planet

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 18:03 (two weeks ago) link

baobob

difficult listening hour, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 18:04 (two weeks ago) link

discarded receipts planet
argumentative planet
smug planet

Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 18:04 (two weeks ago) link

planet of the apes

icy bike chain rain (zchyrs), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 18:05 (two weeks ago) link

is palpy actually going to be in this?

Seany's too Dyche to mention (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 18:06 (two weeks ago) link

yes, are you tired of winning yet

difficult listening hour, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 18:06 (two weeks ago) link

Yeah. I think he prefers to be called "Sheevsy" though

icy bike chain rain (zchyrs), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 18:07 (two weeks ago) link

jazz planet

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 18:08 (two weeks ago) link

YOUR COMING TOGETHER... WILL BE YOUR UNDOING genuinely made me lol tho so good job if they meant to

difficult listening hour, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 18:08 (two weeks ago) link

Casino scene could've been great in the last one but was uninspired (altho the tracking shot Wings homage was great). Should've had giant size version of Dejarik, people getting freaked out thinking the holograms were real monsters (would've made a good Back To The Future 2 homage). Also the story idk...

nashwan, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 18:16 (two weeks ago) link

It's about the atmospheres you're not feeling, man.

xxp

Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 18:16 (two weeks ago) link

So will there be Ewoks in this or what?

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 18:16 (two weeks ago) link

rapping ewoks

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 18:17 (two weeks ago) link

the one Ewok we thought sadly died in ROTJ was cloned by Palps and man he is pissed

nashwan, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 18:19 (two weeks ago) link

Ewoks repping.

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 18:20 (two weeks ago) link

Ewoks in The Battle of Epping Forest.

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 18:20 (two weeks ago) link

lol

Re: Ewoks — sadly, the Endor Holocaust theory may be validated in this movie

drunk on hot toddies (morrisp), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 18:26 (two weeks ago) link

i will actually watch this if palpy is in it. otherwise no.

Seany's too Dyche to mention (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 18:27 (two weeks ago) link

I liked Endor Holocaust's first couple of records, but when the songs got shorter and more commercial they started to suck imo.

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 18:29 (two weeks ago) link

hair planet
cubicle planet
DMV planet

― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Tuesday, October 22, 2019 2:00 PM bookmarkflaglink

Nazi planet
gangster planet
Roman planet

― Οὖτις, Tuesday, October 22, 2019 2:01 PM bookmarkflaglink

Jfk
Blown away

When I am afraid, I put my toast in you (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 19:21 (two weeks ago) link

planet bearing an uncanny resemblance to mid-20th-century earth

― drunk on hot toddies (morrisp), Tuesday, October 22, 2019 11:21 AM (one hour ago)

god that looks deplorable

Seany's too Dyche to mention (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 19:23 (two weeks ago) link

is nar shaddaa in this movie

difficult listening hour, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 19:26 (two weeks ago) link

it's wall-to-wall Jaxxon + Ewoks

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 19:27 (two weeks ago) link

i thought for sure nar shaddaa would be in solo

difficult listening hour, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 19:28 (two weeks ago) link

Action Jaxxon

When I am afraid, I put my toast in you (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 19:28 (two weeks ago) link

difficult listening hour wrote this on thread Star Wars 7 shit talk on board I Love Everything on Apr 23, 2014

nar shaddaa or no deal imo

difficult listening hour wrote this on thread Star Wars 8 shit talk on board I Love Everything on Dec 22, 2017

GIVE CLAP ME CLAP NAR CLAP SHADDAA

difficult listening hour wrote this on thread Star Wars Anthology shit talk (Rogue One, Young Solo, TBD) on board I Love Everything on May 27, 2018

hi. does this movie have nar shaddaa

sigh

difficult listening hour, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 19:33 (two weeks ago) link

Nar Shaddah, Nar Shaddah
El-elyon an adonah

(That joke was for JCLC only and he will never see it.)

Hahahaha

When I am afraid, I put my toast in you (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 19:40 (two weeks ago) link

lollll

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 20:11 (two weeks ago) link

i thought for sure shanana would be in solo

https://www.paradiseartists.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/bowzers-rock-photo01.jpg

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 20:11 (two weeks ago) link

surely Luke will turn out to be Rey's dad, or maybe Obi-Wan

an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 23:28 (two weeks ago) link

planet bearing an uncanny resemblance to mid-20th-century earth

― difficult listening hour, Tuesday, October 22, 2019 6:02 PM (five hours ago)

oh my god, i was wrong
it was earth, all along

(The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 23:43 (two weeks ago) link

xp neither of those guys got nookie IIRC

drunk on hot toddies (morrisp), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 23:51 (two weeks ago) link

oh my god, i was wrong
it was earth, all along

you finally made a Wookiee out of me

now let's play big lunch take little lunch (sic), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 23:52 (two weeks ago) link


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