100 Funny Bob Dylan Moments

"My wife and I were happy for thirty years. And then we met."

I wrote this awhile back, playing off some things in the newz at the time (posting it here on a quiet Saturday night, to minimize claims of self-promotion): http://kimgordonsrealage.tumblr.com/post/5810288062/bob-dylan-ive-battled-25-a-day-addictions-all

haha those TTRH quotes are hilarious, wish I had the patience to listen through all those episodes

51. Some old David Letterman anniversary show from Radio City Music Hall, where they gave him a tremendous build up and recruited a huge all-star band, and he came out and sang the laziest, slurriest "Like a Rolling Stone" ever. I'm pretty sure he just sang the vowels.

I think it's more kind of lol but mostly sad territory...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YedNVVw8LD0

^ Bob probably had some bad sushi before the show. (What a band, btw!)

i saw bob dylan in the mid-2000s and that was pretty much how he sang all his songs

1987:

At one of the first rehearsals, Dylan showed up late. The band was only able to rehearse some ninety minutes before Stan Lynch let Petty know he had to leave. "Tom was like, 'Fuck. Where do you need to be?'" says Lynch. "And I told him, 'I'm going to see Frank and Sammy tonight at the Greek.' The whole band just starts backing away from me. I mean, literally, it was like 'we don't know him'. This might have even been the first rehearsal. Bob's got his shades on, kind of noticing the conversation but not a part of it. Two minutes later Bob says, "Frank and Sammy?' The room's still dead quiet. 'I love those guys,' he says. I go, 'Well, I have two tickets. Fourth row. And I don't have a date.'" Lynch and Dylan left in the drummer's Jaguar XJS, a twelve-cylinder two-seater. There wasn't room for Dylan to bring security. "I thought Stan was getting brownie points with the new boss," says Mike Campbell. "I was kind of jealous."

Lynch continues: "Then we get to the Greek Theatre, and he tightens his sweatshirt hood around his face. We make our way down to the fourth row. He looks like the Unabomber. But by that point, a few people are realizing that Bob Dylan is there. You can sort of feel the energy. The show starts, and its fucking great. But I kinda got one eye on Bob, one eye on Sammy. Like, 'How's Bob reacting to this? How's Bob reacting to me loving Sammy so much? What's happening here?' The whole thing is odd, with the people around us reacting to how Bob is reacting to Sammy."

At the end of the set, after a standing ovation, Dylan made to leave. Perhaps all the talk about Sammy Davis Jr. had confused things. Lynch, not knowing what to do, grabbed Dylan by the back of his sweatshirt as he started heading toward the aisle, reminding him that Frank was still due to perform. "But now its the intermission," says Lynch, "and I'm pressed for more conversation. Then Cheryl Tiegs, the supermodel, walks by, and its a perfect opener. She's hot! Musicians can only talk about a few things, right? I go 'Cheryl Tiegs, man.' He goes 'Huh? Who?' I say, 'Right there in front of you.' ... And this is where I knew we were going to be friends. He says 'That's way after my time.' I go, 'What?' He says to me, 'I like Ann Margret, Elizabeth Taylor.' He starts naming chicks like that. I say 'Really?' He looks at me, takes his sunglasses off, and says 'Really'".

when bob dylan looks at you and takes off his sunglasses, get ready for a moment

Larry Charles' telling the story of the HBO slapstick comedy series he and Dylan wrote is the best, so many funny parts:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQDTSu8v8QI

I say "I want a hot beverage" in Bob's voice to my wife about once a week.

And she says "You ain't him..."

More like rolls her eyelids and punches my cigarette.

In the same category, there's Carrie Fisher's story about how she met Dylan: he calls her up out of the blue and she assumes it's to ask her out, but no, it's because a company has asked him to endorse a cologne and he thinks she might have some good ideas for cologne names. "Do I look like somebody who would be walking around with a bunch of cologne names rattling around in my head? Well, tragically, I did." He also tells her he's thinking about opening a beauty salon.

That's a great story

That Letterman performance upthread is pretty bad, but it's absolutely hamstrung by the shitty video recording. Here's a far better version without the flutter on the audio ("like a bee singing into a fan" as one comment put it):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LaNXwqLFnc

I guarantee you won’t see this one coming pic.twitter.com/wygC15Qcpy

— Jordan Hoffman (@jhoffman) January 13, 2021

In his new WTF interview, Rick Rubin tells a story where Bob Dylan, George Harrison, and Tom Petty are writing a Traveling Wilburys' song together. Harrison leaves for a minute, and Dylan leans over to Petty and whispers, completely seriously, "You know, he was in the Beatles."

— Luke Epplin (@LukeEpplin) July 19, 2021

Also the Modern Lovers

Peter Grant: Mr. Dylan, my name is Peter Grant. I'm Led Zeppelin's manager.
Dylan: I don't come to you with MY problems, do I?

- at a party or backstage or somewhere, mid-'70s

― I wish he hadn't adapted my critique of his "ilxor" moniker (Myonga Vön Bontee), Wednesday, May 13, 2009 4:09 PM (twelve years ago) bookmarkflaglink

That’s the greatest thing I’ve ever heard.

Dylan clearly channeling Groucho Marx there.

...or maybe George in A Hard Day's Night. something in that vein.

it's all in the mind

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2g-RDQ-2AaE

Pet Shop Bob

"Doesn't sound a bit like cagney!"

finally got around to this new yorker piece and I nearly spit out my coffee laughing at this little scene between Mavis and Dylan in 2016. truly the one who got away. pic.twitter.com/OG0DDU3i7O

— Allison Rapp (@allisonrapp22) July 11, 2022

More of a Dylan-adjacent moment, but when David Lynch and Peter Wolf were roomies in Boston in the late-60's, both wound up at a Dylan show. Halfway through Wolf notices Lynch getting up and leaving, and angrily confronts him in the apartment later that evening. "Nobody walks out on Bob Dylan!" "Fuck you, I walk out of Bob Dylan!"

Would've been the 1964-1965 school year...probably would've been a solo acoustic show, and to be fair, except for the few new songs released on Bringing It All Back Home, Dylan generally would have sounded bored with the old material that formed the bulk of his sets around this time.

LOL at that Dylan-Staples story.

meeting Archibald MacLeish (from Chronicles):

He reiterates a few things he said in his letter. (In his letter, he made mention of some lines in a song of mine that places T. S. Eliot and Ezra Pound symbolically fighting in a captain’s tower.) “Pound and Eliot were too scholastic, weren’t they?” he says. What I know about Pound is that he was a Nazi sympathizer in World War II and did anti-American broadcasts from Italy. I never did read him. I liked T. S. Eliot. He was worth reading. Archie says, “I knew them both. Hard men. We have to go through them. But I know what you mean when you say they are fighting in a captain’s tower.”

I'll tell you this one funny story about them in the Warfield Theatre in 1995. We were getting ready to do the show. I'm getting my clothes on. I see my wife in the green room, and I don't see my daughter. I said, "Deb where's Marcella?" She looks at me, the color drains from her face. She's like, "Isn't she with you?" I go into a panic. At one point, one of our guys sees me and I said, "I'm looking for my kid. Have you seen her?" They're like, "No, man, we'll help you look."

Everybody helped. At one point, I'd looked everywhere except Bob’s dressing room. I go up and knock on the door real quick. His assistant opens it or whatever and there she is.

We were already five minutes late going onstage, and the two of them were holding the show up. I said, "Babe, come on. Bob's got to go to work now." She says, 'Oh, okay." He says, "I want to talk a little more about that later, okay?" She's like, "Okay, Bob." And she grabs her drink and comes out and meets my wife.

At that point, I go to stand with the band and wait for him. They bring the house lights down. Bob stops me with his arm. He says, "We got to do something about that girl."

I said, "Oh man, I'm sorry, she just loves you. I didn't want her to disturb your show." He goes. "No, that girl in art class. She's real mean. We got to do something about her."

We’d gotten Marcella these cowboy boots and there was this mean little girl in her art class who splashed paint on them. Bob asked her, "How'd you get that paint on your cowboy boots?" So while I'm looking for my daughter, she's telling Bob that story, and they're holding the show up. He stops me and says, "Hey, we got to do something about that girl." [laughs]

From: https://dylanlive.substack.com/p/winston-watson-talks-drumming-for?

I'll tell you this one funny story about them in the Warfield Theatre in 1995. We were getting ready to do the show. I'm getting my clothes on. I see my wife in the green room, and I don't see my daughter. I said, "Deb where's Marcella?" She looks at me, the color drains from her face. She's like, "Isn't she with you?" I go into a panic. At one point, one of our guys sees me and I said, "I'm looking for my kid. Have you seen her?" They're like, "No, man, we'll help you look."

Everybody helped. At one point, I'd looked everywhere except Bob’s dressing room. I go up and knock on the door real quick. His assistant opens it or whatever and there she is.

We were already five minutes late going onstage, and the two of them were holding the show up. I said, "Babe, come on. Bob's got to go to work now." She says, 'Oh, okay." He says, "I want to talk a little more about that later, okay?" She's like, "Okay, Bob." And she grabs her drink and comes out and meets my wife.

At that point, I go to stand with the band and wait for him. They bring the house lights down. Bob stops me with his arm. He says, "We got to do something about that girl."

I said, "Oh man, I'm sorry, she just loves you. I didn't want her to disturb your show." He goes. "No, that girl in art class. She's real mean. We got to do something about her."

We’d gotten Marcella these cowboy boots and there was this mean little girl in her art class who splashed paint on them. Bob asked her, "How'd you get that paint on your cowboy boots?" So while I'm looking for my daughter, she's telling Bob that story, and they're holding the show up. He stops me and says, "Hey, we got to do something about that girl." [laughs]

From: https://dylanlive.substack.com/p/winston-watson-talks-drumming-for?

picturing an ill-conceived 90s family comedy... well-meaning, but bumbling dads (inexplicably led by Bob Dylan), try to solve their daughters' problems at school.

the Mike Love diss in his rrhof acceptance speech is hilarious
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TyqFL9m2odg

the mike love speech was pretty insane so v good idea to take the piss
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZSAQX2uuUY

Love apparently likes to take off his shoes when he performs, and during that night’s all-star jam, Mick Jagger stole his shoes.

cracking up this morning hearing "sign language," a song Dylan donated to Eric Clapton ...

’Twas there by the bakery

Surrounded by fakery

HBD Bob!

haha that's a gorgeous lyric