your terrible ideas

just the other day I was eating breakfast to the sound of some inexplicable ska cover of something, can't remember what now

anyway I don't play jazz but if I did it'd definitely be all obnoxious shit like that, or Mario music

jazz group called "Jazz for Dipshits"

was that the name of new donk city's band?

someone here a while ago discovered that the underworld theme from super mario bros was derived from a 70s miles davis cut so, yknow

Wait, was that me? This is a mild Philip k dick moment but I feel like I “discovered” that recently but maybe i just read that here somewhere? What is reality

can someone post it?

The first half of the underground theme from Super Mario Bros is a ringer for Miles Davis's track "Calypso Frelimo". When the underground theme re-appeared in Super Mario Bros. 3, its rhythm was modified slightly.

https://youtu.be/uT2bpVOkG1U?t=614

A woke fragrance brand called “Problematique”

Get into the BDSM scene. Become a "dom," with my secret ulterior motive of just having others do my housework for me. Fuck I hate ironing.

a musical about rajneeshpuram using the slightly modified music of the smashing pumpkins. the bhagwan would sing "For Sheela" with the small edit:

If you have to leave rajneeshpuram
If you have to leave don't you cry
If you have to leave I will get by
Someday I'll follow you and see you on the other side

"To Sheila" only requires editing one letter and would be sung by ma shanti b.

Today I decided to register theliteraldemocrats.org and make a parody website making fun of the new centrist party idea, then I thought about how it would take me a week to put together and I have perhaps 45 minutes free for the project and I have never written any comedy let alone a whole website

an australian spinoff of the movie Logan Lucky featuring a branch of their family on another continent, trying their best to help one of their siblings seduce a rich celebrity

Bogan Fucky

Acoustic covers of rap reversed, i.e. hardcore rap covers of Bon Iver, Mumford and Sons etc.

A snapchat filter that gives you that pencil-drawn jesus putting his hand on your shoulder

hahaha

this needs to happen

I feel like I would already be partying at mindfulness retreats right now based on that idea if I had even a modicum of programming ability

wrinkle: the filter is called "With You Always" and once you add it you cannot remove it.

Right up there with the "Killer Appears Behind You in Mirror Selfie" app upthread.

A summer program for youth with ADD. I call it Concentration Camp.

I came to post my terrible ideas but yours are all terribler, dang

OK mine was to get a cool tattoo: literally a tattoo that just says "cool", in the Hawaiian Punch font

I actually like that. You should get some new kicks made out of actual dope.

man i would but i'd probably just end up smoking them

I feel like the dom who makes people clean has to be a thing. Everything is a thing for someone right and that seems like it could be popular.

I'd bet subs would do a shitty job of cleaning just to get punished some more though.

there are diff arrangements. my friend has gotten her cleaning done this way before and definitely not involving "punishment" etc. some people really just want to be told to do the dishes and to be told they did a good job at it, and to get the fuck out when they're done.

Where are these people? I need these people.

Also, I found out recently that financial domination is a thing. Men hire ppl to spend their money. Wut. Clearly I am in the wrong line of work (and not at all suited to bossing anyone around but that's another story).

how did you... just find out about this?

pretty sure this has been a plot on several ridiculous tv shows already

a television show called Carlsbad Medium about a man who lives among us in this physical world, but he can also make contact with a higher plane of existence through the application of medium salsa to various unexpected lunch foods. it would be on food network.

yeah fwiw my sense, again going off friends, is that both findom and whatever the word is for chore service can be real work. my one friend says it's been ages since she tried to find someone to come clean her house because it's a hassle when you don't already have it established with somebody.... you have to put in some labor into your dialogue/appearance/vibe/improv/tone/whatever. if someone's actually coming to your house and doing chores and you want both parties to leave feeling like this was a good transaction, you need to negotiate that, you need to confirm there's a real overlap in what you want this to look like, weed to filter out ppl who are looking for more than that (or, if you're looking for more than that you need to articulate that and find ppl on your same wavelength).... if you're humiliating ppl for money on the phone/internet that can be a ton of work, cultivating clients, keeping them interested in you specifically by consciously customizing your performative disinterest around their particular fantasies... plus it has a lot of the practical and psychological challenges of phone sex and suchforth.... idk it isn't really as simple and stress free as it might sound at first blush. apparently a fantastic line of work for some people, obv.

the Gumbo Roux Authenticator, a phone app that uses the camera to tell you if your roux is dark enough for authentic, new orleans gumbo. the process would be similar to that used for depositing a check with your phone. you hold the camera above the cooking roux, and the app tells you things like "move closer" and "remove objects from picture" until it eventually, after some struggle, takes an acceptable picture. no matter what, the app will then display a screen that says "YOU BURNED THE ROUX. WHY DID YOU STOP STIRRING?" while playing the first 18 seconds of "mama roux" on loop.

Also, I found out recently that financial domination is a thing. Men hire ppl to spend their money.

Hire people? Is that what they're calling it these days? Amirite, fellas?

https://i.imgur.com/bDm8HgE.jpg

(Fellas? Hello? Oh no, this was a mistake.)

might've been more diplomatic to use a stock image instead of a family photo

At least I'm on the right thread.

lady spending my money, better be cash or a low-interest credit card. none of these cards with “consumer rewards” that are over 15% unless the dom part applies to reminding me to pay it in a timely manner

there was an iso houseboy ad that ran on the slc craigslist men seeking men page for years. doing house chores for some dweeb in sandy naked. the headline was "are you a sexyboy looking for xtrafunds?" or something like that. anyway, that's my cool story.

“Ooh yeah, tell me about the bad deal you got on the shoes that were 20% cheaper on another website. Omg you didn’t even compare brands when you bought food? That’s so hot.”

For next year. Get an EZ-Up and some wardrobe racks. Set up adjacent to the Coachella festival, selling "festival fashion" to basic bitches at super-inflated prices. I'd have headdresses, cutoff high-waisted denim shorts, feather earrings, etc., just to cash in. To top it off, I would proudly advertise any criticism like "cultural appropriation," "offensive," or "deliberate scam" blatantly printed on my banner. I just don't know how far I can go.

(No joke, I may do this if somebody else doesn't.)

They don’t already?

For next year. Get an EZ-Up and some wardrobe racks. Set up adjacent to the Coachella festival, selling "festival fashion" to basic bitches at super-inflated prices. I'd have headdresses, cutoff high-waisted denim shorts, feather earrings, etc., just to cash in. To top it off, I would proudly advertise any criticism like "cultural appropriation," "offensive," or "deliberate scam" blatantly printed on my banner. I just don't know how far I can go.

(No joke, I may do this if somebody else doesn't.)

― naus, Wednesday, 25 April 2018 06:27 (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Umm know the name of the thread and whatnot... (I dont know about American festivals but) I know a lot of people who trade at Glasto et al in the UK and there are waiting lists, licensing, h&s etc. Oh and your pitch will cost you, ranging from a couple hundred at more obscure festival to about 8k for glastonbury/reading/Leeds... and they will definitely escort you off premises if you don't... even uphold their standards of practises, let alone just rock up with a couple rails without paying them.

if Coachella doesnt work like this tho, I advise add sequins to your list. you can make a fucking killing of its glittery. my (market) next door neighbour sold about 200 sequin jackets at Glastonbury last year, she said at £80 a piece, and she mostly focussing on selling leather jackets and hats.

iirc coachella has a parking lot immediately next to the grounds so setting up along the street between the parking lot and the venue doesn't work. there are definitely some people hocking cheap wares a couple blocks away, though

Democratic (Party) Direction

do the two one-man-bands play in coordination or do they perform their songs independently?

If you have to ask, that means they've won

A thread titled: Your Terrible Thoughts

that's really the implied title of every single thread

I’m increasingly warming to my idea of making spider ladders for baths, though I suppose someone does it already. What material would they find best?

https://worldwide.espacenet.com/publicationDetails/biblio?CC=GB&NR=2272154

Just drape a length of toilet roll over the side of the bath.