Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

i swear i am not

but three people who i don't usually work with started kind of raising their voices at me, and i'm like am i in the twilight zone? is this a joke? but they sounded very serious or i'm being trolled by real life ilxors

You work with idiots.

he's not canadian, he's quebecois

lol, jk. it'd be a big surprise to much of canada if you tried to inform the country that leonard cohen isn't canadian

And I was making a joke about Vladimir Putin, who just last week floated the idea that the U.K. spy might not have been poisoned by Russians, but instead possibly by "Ukrainians, Tatars or Jews but with Russian citizenship" as if a Jew with Russian citizenship weren't a Russian.

is it possible you're the pedantic coworker and people (outside of the new guy) are just fucking with you because they'd rather drop the discussion than get into it

damn, how's life. hadn't heard that one

lol @ not Canadian, he's Jewish. I mean Jewish is an ethnicity as well but that wouldn't make somebody not Canadian, lol

I think I'm starting to understand zionism

I went into the office a week or two ago in an area that was populated by customer service reps and all of a sudden the rep nexts to me starts hollering "omg, what is that smell?" and everybody else is like "what smell" and she's trying to talk to her customer, while putin him on hold every few seconds to bark "omg that smell, it's making me SICK", and she starts gagging, and nobody else really smells anything. and then she goes "Oh god this smell, I'm gonna be sick" and then asks to put the customer on hold, slaps off her headset, and i see her russian into the ladies room.

she then comes back and keeps talking about the smell for like 2 minutes before she remembers to take her customer off hold. it turned out to be ham or perfume or some shit, idk

is it pedantic/nitpicking to point out standard form is hallelujah?

if so, okay, i'll tread carefully next time

well, it goes like this.....

trying to figure out if Neanderthal's coworker actually had an undiagnosed stroke

sure hope not!

other people started to acknowledge the smell when she got back, so I was like "damn were you all gaslighting her earlier?"

maybe she was just stalin for time

thanks for the feedback peeps

i feel a little better

Huh the rabbi I currently study with is Canadian. Pretty sure he is also Jewish. I’ll ask him!

Quincie's Rabbi - not a Canadian
But you know who is - Decibel writer Begrand, Adrien!

Canadian-American

second that your coworkers are idiots.

one thing i've realized about dumb fuck coworkers who needlessly argue with you - bet money. tell them to put $20 on the line that he's not Canadian. normally, i find, that shuts an idiot up.

I just say "uh huh" and walk away typically. If it happens at my own desk I go to the restroom and get some coffee and take my time doing it.

alleluia is an accepted if old spelling innit?

yes, it can have various specific contextual meanings in that spelling too

ya which is why i thought it prudent not to use it in an email ad about easter going out to like thousands of people

this is a weird company tho

(talking about the recent BBC series about best/weirdest/extreme hotels)

"Have you seen it? It's really good although I don't like Giles Core much."
"Who does he present it with?"
"That Monica woman. Monica Lewinsky I think it is."

Whoever left the fridge door open overnight when I'd left a pasty in it yesterday which I now don't dare eat. Boo.

(Someone is probably going to tell me I'm being fussy but I had a bad time last time I ate something which had gone unrefrigerated for an unknown number of hours and tbh I'm a fat bastard and should not be eating pasties anyway)

the latest thing in my office from Execs is pure CYA confirmations - i.e., them asking for statuses of things not because they actually give a shit and want to know the state of the state, but so they can trap you into confirming something in writing to nail you with later.

like today, a customer service manager was asked - "can you confirm the extract of test cases were inserted and that the database will be somewhat stable tomorrow". The former is easy to confirm - the latter, lol GTFO. we're a 100+ client company with thousands of users, any one single thing could render the database slow af, and nobody in fucking customer service can control or prevent it.

weirdly they didn't like when I said that to them in reply

Lol typical tech manager shite

Lol...

So while my candicacy is still open for the new position, my boss gave me some small temp assignments until I know if I got it. 1.5 months ago one of those tasks was literally just copying a quiz verbatim into SurveyMonkey. No analysis...just cut/paste. It was posted around that time and peer reviewed.

They are training on it *tomorrow*, and at almost 6:45 ET (long after I leave), one of the trainers frantically emails me and the guy who wrote it saying I HAVE CONCERNS CAN U URGENTLY ADDRESS?!!! IE by tomorrow.

Ignored it...but boy I hope I get this new job lol.

Clients, man. Clients. *shakes head*

^yaaH

1 male workmate to another male workmate in the kitchen: "man you've gotten a lot fatter lately, whats going on there?"
Said workmate mumbles something in what I assume is profuse embarrasement.

WTF dude. RUDE.

That is outright harassment. Fuck that

Then he kept going on about it! "yeah youre looking as big as [workmate 3] these days man"

I'm like "...is this how guys talk to each other? If I did that to a woman she'd chuck a shitfit"

That is hideous. I would hit someone for saying this to me.

Like none of my friends would ever say this to me

He wasnt even being aggressive, it was like casual like "hey nice hat man", it was so weird.

My own mother patted my stomach and said "someone's gaining weight" and it's had me doing 5k runs every day.

A peer saying that would have me running marathons

I’d be stealing their lunch from the fridge and then eat my own lunch AND theirs

ha, years ago I told a co worker I was joining the gym and she nodded seriously and said 'yes, you are putting on weight'. she is Sri Lankan though so I think there's cultural differences ... (and she was right tbh)

bro do you even lift

I'm a woman and I currently neither lift nor exercise

To whoever put the signs in the ladies room bitching about whoever's leaving a mess: Fuck you sideways with a chainsaw.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHARE EVERY THOUGHT IN YOUR HEAD

Also, this learned helplessness is not cute.

feeling personally attacked here but.. otm

Last month, she asked me to look up something that I don't even have access to while I was on the phone with a customer. Meanwhile a coworker who could do it was free.

so my buddy started working at the same place as me and i work nights - he's telling me one guy is trashing my work ethic when i'm not there. i'm a casual and do 5 jobs so i'm a bit rusty when covering a job i haven't had for months, and my arm is still healing from a recent break. Anyway he's going to the manager today cuz it's really bothering him. This is the same place i was bullied by one co-worker - anyway, wish people would get some guts and say it to my face

i'm so close to saying to him today "if you got concerns about my work, let ME KNOW"

I would. Fuck that behavior