your terrible ideas

finding the anecdote about joygoat's cousin relatable

there should be an online ordering lockout for anyone who is a little too high or drunk, but lots of terrible ideas have been helped along through the lack of such a thing

I care about clinic, Karl

Maybe not a lockout, but perhaps a customer selectable 24 hour cooldown where the retailer puts the order on hold and then messages you back asking if you really wanted to order whatever it was.

x-post - Me too! I saw them at the ICA in London in 2004 and it's still prob one of the best shows I've ever seen.

I’m 35 and my only real experience with musical instruments is making sounds on a synthesizer and sequencing notes to make one-bar loops. Can’t actually play the keys, can’t read music, and have a terrible sense of pitch. I’d actually have to practice the Melodica and I have neighbors. I was just thinking of “Your Silent Face” and how Bernard’s Melodica totally makes the song. So to buy one just to learn that would be a not-great idea.

I care about clinic, Karl

*plays intro to T.K. and lets it hang in the air*

naus, "Love Vigilantes" is another fine melodica jam btw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9BE4y-Hgao

/enabling

Yeah, and “Hurt.” I was thinking about all of those.

I think if I was sending out flyers to people I would slightly flavour them, so pets pay attention to them, or eat them. I think I would pay more attention to a shredded flyer than a whole one. Of course, maybe people already do this.

melodica update: i recorded myself playing the opening part to "love vigilantes" and sent it to my friends from high school who would recognize it
they did!
lol

i am so proud that my terrible idea has inspired you!

btw, how loud are melodicas irl? can they be played quietly?

also: do you play with the bendy-tube or direct mouthpiece?

i played it with the tube
it's not very loud, more like a flute than a bagpipe?
iirc there is not a lot of volume control though
there is also a little button on mine and idk what it does

It adds cromulence.

Spit valve button, perhaps?

that makes sense! it didn't seem to change the sound at all. i haven't played any extended jams on it, so i doubt there was much spit buildup

a supercut of all of Les Dennis's impromptu impressions from Family Fortunes

Buy a tow truck, start just stealing cars by towing them away

It’s crazy that people aren’t always doing that imo

Jay Leno's Headlines: Real but Ridiculous Headlines from the Internet's News Aggregators. Every page would be a screenshot of news.google.com, etc, where the headline didn't match the picture. For example, a current Google News headline "Seahawks release Boykin after assault allegation" is paired with a picture of Gregg Popovich. So a page would have a screenshot of that. And in the margins, a chubby little cartoon jay leno has a speech bubble that says something like "oh really?" or "is that right?" or "before...after", etc. deeper into the book, though, cartoon jay would confess to committing various unsolved murders that occurred in los angeles from 1980 to 2005.

that's a great idea imo

hahaha

I could see how maybe first around page 110 or so there's just one cartoon jay confession to a single murder that you might miss if you weren't paying attention, but then they become more frequent as the book continues.

Sufjan, you just gave me the best laugh of the day. Thank you.

:-) I'm glad. but also sad that I might have actually sold 3 books before Jay sold a tiny car and used the proceeds to crush me.

An automated novelty Twitter account called Every Smiths Song Slaps, that tweets once a day about a Smiths song, in chronological order of their release (no duplicates, covers, or live versions), from

"Hand In Glove" slaps

to

"I Keep Mine Hidden" slaps

Scratch that, "I Keep Mine Hidden" was the last one recorded, but not the last one released. The last post would be

"I Won't Share You" slaps

Glad we got that cleared up.

Mordy
Posted: March 27, 2018 at 4:22:49 PM
that's a great idea imo

^

To be followed by Every Fugazi Song is a Bop

Okay, so imagine a Mad Magazine parody, yeah? Inbanana Jones and the Temple of Goons, for instance. Where the jokes are basically just swapping out words with other funny-sounding words or sardonic references to the work being parodied. Now imagine the relative incoherence of a Mad Magazine parody of a movie that doesn't even exist. My terrible idea? Making a film adaptation of that theoretical Mad Magazine parody of a nonexistent film. I'll be posting a link to the GoFundMe soon.

Mad Magazine parodies “The Inkal” directed by McOlas Dingding Rofl

Someday I'm gonna have to share the Mad-esque parodies I drew as a kid. I'm still fairly impressed with how Roboslop turned out.

Wait no it’s “The Tincal” based on the really long comic book by Alibaba Jabroni and Duebius

Making a film adaptation of that theoretical Mad Magazine parody of a nonexistent film.

this is alien: covenant iirc

the theme to "Inspector Gadget" as a jazz tune

silby, have you heard of ska

just the other day I was eating breakfast to the sound of some inexplicable ska cover of something, can't remember what now

anyway I don't play jazz but if I did it'd definitely be all obnoxious shit like that, or Mario music

jazz group called "Jazz for Dipshits"

was that the name of new donk city's band?

someone here a while ago discovered that the underworld theme from super mario bros was derived from a 70s miles davis cut so, yknow

Wait, was that me? This is a mild Philip k dick moment but I feel like I “discovered” that recently but maybe i just read that here somewhere? What is reality

can someone post it?

The first half of the underground theme from Super Mario Bros is a ringer for Miles Davis's track "Calypso Frelimo". When the underground theme re-appeared in Super Mario Bros. 3, its rhythm was modified slightly.

https://youtu.be/uT2bpVOkG1U?t=614

A woke fragrance brand called “Problematique”

Get into the BDSM scene. Become a "dom," with my secret ulterior motive of just having others do my housework for me. Fuck I hate ironing.

a musical about rajneeshpuram using the slightly modified music of the smashing pumpkins. the bhagwan would sing "For Sheela" with the small edit:

If you have to leave rajneeshpuram
If you have to leave don't you cry
If you have to leave I will get by
Someday I'll follow you and see you on the other side

"To Sheila" only requires editing one letter and would be sung by ma shanti b.

Today I decided to register theliteraldemocrats.org and make a parody website making fun of the new centrist party idea, then I thought about how it would take me a week to put together and I have perhaps 45 minutes free for the project and I have never written any comedy let alone a whole website

an australian spinoff of the movie Logan Lucky featuring a branch of their family on another continent, trying their best to help one of their siblings seduce a rich celebrity

Bogan Fucky

Acoustic covers of rap reversed, i.e. hardcore rap covers of Bon Iver, Mumford and Sons etc.