people that YELP are scumbags

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ilx is Odell Lake:
you are a Doctor Casino
you see a random googler ahead

the poster's anxiety at the suggested ban (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 8 March 2018 22:00 (six years ago) link

hooked by an angler, every time

Doctor Casino, Friday, 9 March 2018 12:29 (six years ago) link

five months pass...

Liked this review of a local Asian market. Was originally structuring this post around a review that mentioned a sketchy exterior, a fishy smell, and products in a foreign language (shocker!), but then read the review above and wanted to recognize an anti-scumbag. Informative, pleasant, well-written, and thorough.

Unlike a lot of things, personally, the 1 in 10 Yelpers who write a decent review successfully offset the other 9 who fixate on some personal slight or bias.

the body of a spider... (scampering alpaca), Monday, 13 August 2018 17:43 (five years ago) link

two months pass...

jesus, ross pic.twitter.com/8kBEArVH1r

— Ingrid Ghostby (@ingridostby) October 25, 2018

the fleeking of america (Karl Malone), Thursday, 25 October 2018 20:29 (five years ago) link

three weeks pass...

food bloggers insides must look like raqqa

single bed mentality (||||||||), Sunday, 18 November 2018 11:30 (five years ago) link

four months pass...

Tikis On The Ave, 210 S Wenatchee Ave, Wenatchee, WA 98801

This place is unfriendly and fosters an unsafe environment. My husband went into the restroom only to notice several men snorting cocaine.

alomar lines, Wednesday, 17 April 2019 04:32 (five years ago) link

Ma’am.

don't mock my smock or i'll clean your clock (silby), Wednesday, 17 April 2019 05:24 (five years ago) link

...and they would not give him any
ZERO STARS

Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 17 April 2019 05:44 (five years ago) link

one month passes...

Stopped by this restaurant yesterday when I was in BK. I tried to get in a few years back but it was crowded, late and I didn't have a reservation so I thought I would try again.
It was packed again; which is good sign that the food and drinks are still good.
But I'm sorry to say...I didn't get to try it.
We waited at the hostess stand for about 5 mins. The hostess only came in our direction when a gentleman come up behind us. Not sure if he worked there or not. But he walked passed us.
He then turned and said she is seating you.
Instead of the hostess using her big girl words like, "hello, right this way, Table for 2" she waved her hand in a gesture to follow her. Which I found to be very rude and uninviting. There were two tables in the front, one in the window the other near the bar. Instead she wanted to place us in the back in a crowded area squeezed in between to couples.
I asked the gentleman for another table, like perhaps the one in the window, he relayed the message to her. She looked confused and annoyed that I was asking if the other table was available. Mind you in directly in front of her.
If getting a table was going to be this bad I didn't want to see what else was in store.
We left...

Good morning, how are you, I'm (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 6 June 2019 16:40 (four years ago) link

opening your own restaurant inside of an operating burger king is a bit rude

Cecil replies to your e-mails (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 6 June 2019 20:43 (four years ago) link

instant classic

Lil' Brexit (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 6 June 2019 22:28 (four years ago) link

i was very pleased a couple weeks ago to read like every yelp review to a very expensive and famous restaurant in my neighborhood. multiple people complained that they saw cockroaches or mice in the dining room. lol.

forensic plumber (harbl), Friday, 7 June 2019 00:55 (four years ago) link

Instead of the hostess using her big girl words like, "hello, right this way, Table for 2

anyone who talks/writes/thinks this way should be forced to work in a restaurant for no less than nine months

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Friday, 7 June 2019 20:20 (four years ago) link

Stopped by this restaurant yesterday when I was in BK. I tried to get in a few years back but it was crowded, late and I didn't have a reservation so I thought I would try again.
It was packed again; which is good sign that the food and drinks are still good.
But I'm sorry to say...I didn't get to try it.
My OS and I waited at the hostess stand for about 5 mins. The hostess only came in our direction when a gentleman come up behind us. Not sure if he worked there or not. But he walked passed us.
He then turned and said she is seating you.
Instead of the hostess using her big girl words like, "hello, right this way, Table for 2" she waved her hand in a gesture to follow her. Which I found to be very rude and uninviting. There were two tables in the front, one in the window the other near the bar. Instead she wanted to place my OS and I in the back in a crowded area squeezed in between to couples.
I asked the gentleman for another table, like perhaps the one in the window, he relayed the message to her. She looked confused and annoyed that I was asking if the other table was available. Mind you in directly in front of her.
If getting a table was going to be this bad I didn't want to see what else was in store.
My OS and I left...

Cecil replies to your e-mails (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 7 June 2019 20:38 (four years ago) link

Machines should also do waiter work imo! it will embiggen their silicon souls.

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Friday, 7 June 2019 20:42 (four years ago) link

every ai must spend a virtual human lifetime working at a simulated dairy queen next to a simulated used car lot

Cecil replies to your e-mails (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 7 June 2019 20:45 (four years ago) link

i worked at a dairy queen in my high school years (next to a used car lot!); there's no need to be that inhumane.

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Friday, 7 June 2019 20:48 (four years ago) link

one of my coworkers was a frazzled nam vet with one arm and he would have me help him peel the american cheese slices out of their plastic sheaths and then we would stack them into star-shaped towers.

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Friday, 7 June 2019 20:50 (four years ago) link

we are the same person, i think

Cecil replies to your e-mails (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 7 June 2019 20:54 (four years ago) link

common rite of puberty in north america iirc

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Friday, 7 June 2019 21:01 (four years ago) link

The soup was too spicy, the chairs are uncomfortable and tables are narrow. But the cranberry margarita was very yummy

alomar lines, Saturday, 8 June 2019 18:42 (four years ago) link

Feel good read if you don't like Yelp:

https://thehustle.co/botto-bistro-1-star-yelp/

Jersey Al (Albert R. Broccoli), Monday, 10 June 2019 19:15 (four years ago) link

one month passes...

What the fuck is with this person's system, where two stars appears to be terrible and three stars amazing?

https://maps.app.goo.gl/XBpFK5zuSepYnpgd6

S-, Saturday, 13 July 2019 12:11 (four years ago) link

three weeks pass...
one month passes...

i don't know what the best thread for this would be, but i was reading about local sausagemakers and i ran across a gem of a review - on Google, not Yelp. it was by someone who knows enough about writing to put in a first sentence that grabs the reader, in this case:

"As I’m picking bullet fragments out of my teeth, not for the first time, from the deer sausage I didn’t want, I thought I would post this review."

that's exceptionally good writing for an internet review of a local german butcher, and i appreciate it.

Calpico Girlfriend (rushomancy), Saturday, 5 October 2019 17:29 (four years ago) link

checks out

maura, Thursday, 17 October 2019 17:41 (four years ago) link

His voice is gentle, and he speaks with a subtle posh British accent. He tells me he's from Oxford, England,

kinder, Thursday, 17 October 2019 19:39 (four years ago) link

That guy singlehandedly balances out all the scumbags in this thread put together

Guayaquil (eephus!), Thursday, 17 October 2019 19:49 (four years ago) link

The addas (red lentil soup) is pureed and that is not necessarily the most common way it is prepared in the Middle East, and the menu doesn't mention that it is pureed. It was more like a broth and not all that flavorful.

From a non-middle-eastern reviewer

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Monday, 28 October 2019 14:51 (four years ago) link

love 2 correct people on their own culture's foods

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Monday, 28 October 2019 14:54 (four years ago) link

scum

Seany's too Dyche to mention (jim in vancouver), Monday, 28 October 2019 23:19 (four years ago) link

jfc

Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 29 October 2019 00:01 (four years ago) link

From local strip club review:

"1 of the girls farted on me I left instantly omg never again. I came to visit and all my friends told me to check that strip club it's 1 of the best . He got me good"

When I am afraid, I put my toast in you (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 29 October 2019 01:08 (four years ago) link

Should have to pay extra for that

Greta Van Show Feets BB (milo z), Tuesday, 29 October 2019 01:11 (four years ago) link

three months pass...

I searched google today for bars that are open in the morning (take this as the given, don't judge me)

First two results were from yelp, with phrases that would seem to match my query exactly.

But, because I wasn't born yesterday, I knew not to even click those links, because I'd get a long list of bars that in fact do not have morning hours. I'm sure you know what I mean.

How is this allowed to happen? It'd be one thing if google owned yelp

otm into winter (rip van wanko), Thursday, 6 February 2020 03:28 (four years ago) link

one month passes...

"Typical, in many ways, of a mainstream hotel restaurant. Caramelized apple salad had apples which were not caramelized, but sautéed. Sweet potato fried were the best I think I've ever had, but they were finished with so much salt I had to scrape off each one before eating. The menu looks promising, but the chef is unskilled, or lazy. A friendly dining room manager exercised no quality control of food coming out of the kitchen. The bartender who served me was attentive, but presented as troubled, or sad."

Guayaquil (eephus!), Saturday, 7 March 2020 14:09 (four years ago) link

troubled by a major league baseball career that didn't work out

latin hypercube in shitspace (Sufjan Grafton), Saturday, 7 March 2020 14:14 (four years ago) link

caramelized... a word that may not mean what this yelper thinks it means

Larry Elleison (rogermexico.), Saturday, 7 March 2020 15:44 (four years ago) link

big lols at "presented as troubled, or sad."

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Sunday, 8 March 2020 03:53 (four years ago) link

The words "exercised" and "presented" are both deployed really precisely in this review

Guayaquil (eephus!), Sunday, 8 March 2020 05:23 (four years ago) link

five months pass...

You don't really see a sunset over the harbor. It just gets darker.

Doctor Casino, Wednesday, 2 September 2020 02:18 (three years ago) link

^^^ somehow, one of the best things anyone ever copied from the internet and pasted onto ilx

Doctor Casino, Wednesday, 2 September 2020 02:20 (three years ago) link

one month passes...

Now, when a business gains attention for reports of racist conduct, Yelp will place a new Business Accused of Racist Behavior Alert on their Yelp page to inform users, along with a link to a news article where they can learn more. https://t.co/1K2bJ46uM8

— Yelp (@Yelp) October 8, 2020


this is gonna go great

superdeep borehole (harbl), Friday, 9 October 2020 14:07 (three years ago) link


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