smh @ Florida

Oh wait no I misunderstood, you’d be UTC-4 all year? Yeah that’s good. Except for going it alone lol.

Yeah - it's not that I object to not being on DST anymore, it's that I object to being the ONLY DAMN EAST COAST STATE that does it.

wonder how many tourists would be accidentally show up late to everything because they forget and travel to FL during the half of the year when we're an hour ahead

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/woman-rides-white-horse-miami-nightclub-article-1.3867072

not great

https://splinternews.com/florida-didnt-count-thousands-of-absentee-ballots-maile-1830999491

My fave Florida essay:

https://lithub.com/the-problem-with-writing-about-florida/

The wet bathing suit around your ankles is nicely evocative. And I like the bit about jalousie windows. Whatever happened to those?

"Fecundity" strikes me as a key Florida word. Humidity and fecundity.

https://m.orlandoweekly.com/Blogs/archives/2019/04/22/the-easter-bunny-literally-beat-someone-up-in-downtown-orlando-last-night

Witnesses saw the man, identified as Cody Meader, 20, take the plush snowman toy down from a display of Disney’s Frozen merchandise in a St. Petersburg-based store. After lying the toy down on the floor, Meader then proceeded to ‘dry hump’ it until he achieved ejaculation.

After putting the doll back on the shelf, Meader then ‘selected a large unicorn stuffed animal’ he also began to have sex with. The incident took place on Tuesday (October 22) at approximately 2pm.

Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures
According to a police report obtained by The Smoking Gun, Meader was detained by officers while still in the Target store.

After being read his Miranda rights, Meader admitted to having done ‘stupid stuff’ and to having ‘nutted’ on the stuffed Olaf toy. He was then arrested on charges of criminal mischief.

Both the Olaf doll and the stuffed unicorn were removed from the store and destroyed. The police report noted the toys in question could not be resold ‘due to circumstances’, and the damage inflicted totalled $200 or less.

Joe Exotic sentenced to 22 years in prison for attempting to murder Tampa's Big Cat Rescue CEO

He also testified in his own defense at trial, despite a judge’s warning.

Besides being a tiger enthusiast, Joe Exotic was also a self-proclaimed country music star and ran for president in 2016 and then governor of Oklahoma in 2018. When he ran for governor, his campaign signs read, “Joe F--king Exotic.”

https://cdn1us.denofgeek.com/sites/denofgeekus/files/styles/article_width/public/2017/11/tim_heidecker_trial_3_0.jpg

Joe...Exotic.

Nothing surprises me here anymore. Not that long ago i witnessed a thief running Olympic track speeds out of a 7-11, pursued by nobody at all, because he had just shoplifted a bag of Cheetos

Neanderthal, I've got a Joe Exotic thread on 77. Check it out. I wasn't aware of this update though, so thanks!

Why is there a poster for Electric Sun Desert Music Festival in the background?

Also, lol at "due to circumstances" upthread.

Why is there a poster for Electric Sun Desert Music Festival in the background?

that is a screencap from the trial of tim heidecker

i'm in florida again for the first time in years... the tap water is disgusting

sulphurous?

assphorus

i'll come fp u in person

Central florida tap water is mostly fine. You must be up north

I’m in st Pete rn and it’s not terrible at my hotel. I have been places down here where it’s... not great

Was gonna ask what part of FL you're in because in SE Florida and the Keys the water comes from the Biscayne Aquifer and tastes normal to me. Other aquifers supply other parts of the state, iow it's all water from underground but I suspect weird-tasting water is down to whatever is added to it locally.

the water's bland and unremarkable but it's hardly like water in Manila here or anything

hehe i'm in ~le hyperbougie~ south FL + it's not thaaat bad, just rhondaing. in the 10 years since i left here i've become accustomed to rocky mountain runoff water which is delicious and one of the few things i feel superior about

water's fine in Miami -- one of the safer places actually

I drink tap water

SW Florida (Ft Myers, Sanibel, Sarasota) you can taste the chlorine or whatever

I like imagining what rhondaing is, please don't tell me

RHONDA

A Florida man says a medical center is violating his father's First Amendment rights by not allowing him to bring a life-sized cardboard cutout of Donald Trump to his treatments.

Nelson Gibson of Port St. Lucie kept bringing increasingly larger images of the president to Fresenius Kidney Care for his dialysis treatments, WESH-Channel 2 reports.

He started with an 8 x 10 photo of Trump "to comfort him," the TV station reported. Then he brought a miniature cardboard cutout of Trump.

Both of those were tolerated.

Fresenius Kidney Care drew the line at the life-sized cutout, however.

Gibson's son, Eric Gibson, said his father's cutout — which the TV station described as an "emotional support" item — is no bigger than a "garbage can" and therefore shouldn't be an issue.

“What I would really like to happen is for them not to infringe upon my father’s freedom of expression and speech and allow him to bring in the life-sized cardboard cutout that takes up less service area than a garbage can?” Eric Gibson told WESH.

hilarious thing is this dumbshit bragged about his stupid news coverage in a public FB post (because these idiots never know how to work FB security settings) so I just dropped him a heartfelt greeting in the comments.

excellent transition into the babby thread.

Trump/Pence 2020: “Make America great again, no bigger than a garbage can.”

Far be it from me to encroach on Florida's God-given sovereignty by posting itt, but…

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/feb/25/florida-six-year-old-arrested-school-tantrum

a good start imho

https://weather.com/news/news/2020-04-04-florida-brush-fire-destroys-cars-at-airport

Wow!

the guv called the state "God's waiting room"

that's an old joke tho

Good morning!

https://www.cnn.com/2020/05/01/us/grim-reaper-florida-beaches-trnd/index.html

burbbhrbhbbhbburbbb

From our Orange County Economic Task Force meeting

https://i.ibb.co/wwSPRYV/FB-IMG-1590090283634.jpg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBqY-4oDWAQ

I'm not clicking that, but holy shit, that's what happens when you pass out so hard that you don't even wake up when your giggling asshole friends are tattooing your face.

You're missing out. For real.

I have lived with people like that, but they were crustpunks, not juggalo types.

Story time?

For a brief period of about four months or so in 2013, I lived in a squat in West Oakland named Skeletor. It was mostly dudes, travelling crust punk types who were drunks or junkies or both, along with some more regular punk types down on their luck and needing a free room to crash in.

Every day of the week had a different theme, so I'd come home from my part-time job and it would be third-eye Thursday and everyone would be getting blind drunk while hallucinating on mushrooms, setting fire to each other's shit in the courtyard, throwing dog shit and beer cans at each other and calling one another nerd while listening to Agoraphobic Nosebleed and Dropdead and whatever. I bonded mostly with the quiet drunks who would get really amped when Godflesh came on and spent their days flying signs and playing chess.

One good story was the night someone brought home a bunch of condoms from a health clinic and some of the dudes, who all hated condoms, blew them into balloons and used them to play keepaway with the dogs until each condom was burst. Then they threw all the busted condoms on the street and alley in front of the house.

There was also a time when these dudes had been huffing paint all day and then one of their lady friends came over and they had sex in the only common room while all of us were just watching in the courtyard. Eventually, those two had a child, he disappeared into the crack scene in SF, came back and impregnated her again, then disappeared again.

Three of about eleven people I lived with there are dead, one is addicted to crack and living on the streets, and one was in a motorcycle accident that left him permanently disabled. The rest are doing reasonably well, given the circumstances of living a rough life.

I should say, I also spent time riding freights and doing all that shit, but I'm definitely more a Vollmann type than a type to be nicknamed Horse Shit, shooting up in an alley in Sparks.

Three of about eleven people I lived with there are dead, one is addicted to crack and living on the streets, and one was in a motorcycle accident that left him permanently disabled. The rest are doing reasonably well, given the circumstances of living a rough life.

I assume 'the rest' includes you, so I'm glad you're ok.

Thanks! The past decade has been a doozy, but I'm doing reasonably well.

Thx for video, mashup of Mandy and Gummo was unexpected but inspired

He makes good videos.

In my fucking backyard

https://m.dailykos.com/stories/2022/1/30/2077621/-A-Neo-Nazi-rally-has-taken-place-in-the-suburban-streets-of-Orlando

Livid

I wonder if they got permits for this protest, and if so, how they did so.

In Sacramento, they would always hide behind these group names like "South Africa Survivors" and stuff, then the people who would show up would be identifiable members of various skinhead/fash groups.

If permits were issued to the NSM, then Orlando has some bigger problems than we knew.

I'm going with the latter given our Governor

Why wouldn't they get permits? Not getting one would violate the First Amendment, no? It's the Skokie argument.

(I uh am not defending them; it's the law)

Oh I know you wouldn't defend them, but I couldn't really tell from where they were standing whether that was just some random stripmall or a place of power— in Sac, they would always be at one end of the capitol building.

As in, if it was just some random dudes at a stripmall, then it might not actually be protected— if it was the stripmall's property. But whatever, I know it's Florida.

Waterford Lakes is a strip mall, basically with Chili's, a Regal, Best Buy, etc.

Very busy area where they knew they'd have a lot of visibility

It's near the University of Central Florida

Also a much bluer area than the rest of FL so they knew they'd get a rise. Pieces of shit.

lol typical

today is the day Floridians freak out because the weather dipped below 70 (it's 55).

Ima enjoy it.

Lucky you. I "only" got 71.

dat's a bummer, though I like the 70s as well.

It was 37 when I took my son to school this morning.

40s here. It's a damp cold. I have just pushed the sleeves of my long-sleeved t-shirt (all you really need right now) up over my elbows.

Damp cool here too.

for a second I read jon's post as "i was 37 when I took my son to school this morning" and I was going to volunteer to give his kid's ride to school so I can relive my 30s

https://i.ibb.co/ysY5rHV/FB-IMG-1682124902922.jpg

Are they making a baby car?

complete piece of shit

https://www.politico.com/news/2023/04/24/florida-surgeon-general-covid-vaccine-00093510

At Disney watching my brother perform and I see two numbnuts with a Punisher Mickey t shirt

are those bootlegs I hope?

Yeah Etsy bootlegs probably

Magazineboat Willy

That Magazineboat Willy shirt will be perfectly legal in 12 days! Though I'm not sure if that will be more appealing or less appealing to the type of people who would wear it