Justice League (DC 2017 film)

honestly i can’t remember exactly how it ended and i only saw it a few days ago!

steppenwolf was such a limp, tedious villain - he might has well have been transplanted straight from cutscenes from a c-list videogame

i did enjoy bruce wayne bopping around the world revealing his secret identity to everyone he met, he really dngaf

ok, that point almost sounds funny enough to watch it

I'm imagining a world where no one in Gotham City really travels and no one outside Gotham gives a shit about Batman and he just goes around introducing himself as "Bruce Wayne, the Batman of Gotham City" and no one even shrugs

the first time he does it, when he meets aquaman, he has a beard which he didn’t have in the previous scene and he immediately shaves off in the next

just real who-gives-a-fuck filmmaking

honestly the notion of some other production dickishly insisting that an actor can't shave his mustache just to fuck with this production is the most interesting thing about it

yeah I absolutely love the pettiness tbh

Should've just pulled a Romero and lazily pancaked some foundation over that fucker.

my wife didn't know anything about moustachegate and when cavill's cg upper lip showed up for the first time she was like 'oh my god what happened to his face?!?'

it's just egregiously bad - even though steppenwolf is a terrible all-cg character at least he doesn't have the deeply unheimlich mix of real and cg that cavill's face does

The second most expensive movie ever made, with probably one of the biggest CG budgets ever, all in the service of digitally shaving Henry Cavill.

and got outgrossed in a weekend by Black Panther

oh wait i just remembered one thing about the ending - the world-ending helltentacles of terror, the entire pre-production visualisation of which presumably involved zack snyder plonking a video of this down in front of his team and commanding 'do that'

https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/t_original/ldqwb2evus6swbhc7lo0.gif

I have the suspicion that Snyder's method of scene creation is that he treats every set piece as no more linked than a music video, and he really doesn't give a shit about narrative flow or continuity

there may be an attempt at an emotional beat, but it's not at all linked to the preceding or following scenes, and he's really bad at even that

like he's a version of Michael Bay who has no short-term memory

what's funny is friends of mine who inexplicably called BvS a masterpiece hated Justice League.

it's like they preferred the movie where the director prayed diarrhea everywhere over the one where the director at least took Immodium

there may be an attempt at an emotional beat, but it's not at all linked to the preceding or following scenes, and he's really bad at even that

yeah, for sure - there's a scene where amy adams and diane lane have a heart-to-heart in the daily planet break room and while it was going on i was thinking 'this could really have been placed anywhere in the movie up until now and there's no reason to have it here either'

Lois is the biggest cipher in the whole series.

and got outgrossed in a weekend by Black Panther

i've been trying not to schadenfreudelol about this itt but it really is remarkable how all the things which make black panther good (deftly-drawn characteris, great performances, a compelling villain, atypical production design) are more or less entirely absent in this

amy adams deserves so much better for sure

Is Joss Whedon's nickname "Immodium"?

sing hallelujah, pray diarrhoea

Shit sandwich

generous tbh

I just saw Aquaman called a decent film somewhere this week. On the basis of Justice League and BvS I'd find that a bit difficult to believe but Wonder Woman was quite good.
Am i missing something that is actually worthwhile?

aquaman is the most fun dc movie by some distance - if you thought wonder woman was good you'll probably enjoy it

Yeah, Aquaman is decent, and also kinda batshit crazy. There were still moments where I just can't fathom they've wasted so much time and money to do so little - there's an incredibly shitty chase scene for instance - but it's probably the best DCEU has made. The green screen scenes in Justice League are so awful I can't believe they thought they would get away with it.

The "honest trailer" for Aquaman is kinda OTM, both in how closely it follows the arc of another big comic movie, and in how they threw in every single big Aquaman story arc like, ever, into one movie.

aquaman is terrible, but for longtime ILXors there’s a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it Easter egg establishing that his dad was the kind of doof who plays bass through a guitar amp

I really think we need different ways to describe films. Aquaman is not 'terrible', there's, like, several minutes of kinda okay visuals. It is, though, all in all, completely worthless, devoid of any accumulation of meaning.

Or perhaps we don't really 'need' any different ways to describe anything. It might not be worth it. I kinda liked the film, but it's not in any way 'good'. I was just watching DC films to prepare for watching Joker, and it's the only painless one.

I was just watching DC films to prepare for watching Joker

The decision to chop off your thumb doesn't really require a practice run on all of your other fingers, but go with god, my friend.

for the record:

https://medias.spotern.com/spots/w1280/189/189133-1553506380.jpg

L-R:
Puppy
Fender Precision BASS
Vox AC15 GUITAR AMP

this movie is terrible QED

Better way to prepare to watch Joker is to watch the Budd Dwyer video

I am not a prude when it comes to violence, but there were two scenes where it felt a little too 'real' for me.

Was curious about the recent #releasetheSnyderCut furor. Good Vulture summary to remind myself some folk like grim DC, and not everyone is tied to a Golden Age or Darwyn Cooke JL version.

Some people like putting cigarettes out on their genitals, too. That doesn't mean DC should cater to that audience.

...OR DOES IT?!?

Honestly they should put something out there if only just to shut these people up.

https://static01.nyt.com/images/2017/11/05/arts/05NOVfilm-list1/05NOVfilm-list1-watch308.jpg

I love that not only does Batman create a bat outfit to put fear into the hearts of criminals, he also sculpts an angry facial expression onto his cowl as well https://t.co/DPQ2T6xx6x

— Mike Dawson 🕶 (@mike_daws) November 19, 2019

Trust me I have no desire in defending this movie or especially Snyder, but surely that's a set photo and not an actual snydercut still?

I assume the costume is the same in the footage as in the set photos

Right.. but I didn't get the sense that the original tweet was talking about the costume itself, just the retweeter. But now I've thought more about this movie than I've ever wanted to, so just as happy to have misconstrued and be wrong.

I found a postable version of the photo there bcz I don't know or care what the original tweet was talking about either, but I found his frowny-face mask hilarious too

(don't think I've seen any photos of the Snyder Batman before - I did see a billboard in 2017 but iirc it was cod-Alex Ross paintings)

How has someone as stupid as Snyder not yet got trapped in a bin and starved to death yet?

there's lots to eat in there

#ReleaseTheRaccoonCut

Yeah the costumes have been pretty silly since they added the nipples to the Batsuit. I thought the original tweet was laughing at the absurdity of Bats and the other superheros huddled around a clipboard for a mid-mission briefing.

No flowcharts no credibility

Batman needs a studded codpiece

If by 'studded codpiece' you mean 'floppy two-foot rubber phallus covered in rhinestones' then yes, of course he does.

Michael Bay Gives Fans Sneak Peek At Ninja Turtles’ Hyper-Realistic CGI Genitals http://t.co/UpFLHGK1Mm pic.twitter.com/YFHwQmBWGO

— The Onion (@TheOnion) July 25, 2014

I wouldn't have know there was anything wrong with that bat costume until someone said I was supposed to realize it was obviously terrible to the point I should be crying laughing. Either I have terrible taste or I'm extremely out of the loop? Is a scowling cowl (s-cowl) for batman wrong? Tell me how to feel.

If this on-set photograph is your first encounter with the character known as Batman, I can see where you might howl with laughter until your bladder emptied itself in great spasmic arcs. Otherwise the costume is a little silly-looking but nothing particularly OTT.

OK thanks... yeah the s-cowl did not seem particularly new or odd on batman at all.

After Bat-Nipples and Bale's totes hilar SCAWY BAT-GWOWL, I don't know what absurd heights a cinematic Bat-depiction would have to reach to catch me off guard.