Real England

amazing

learning not to swear at five o is a rites of passage thing, although some idiots don't learn their lesson after the first time!

you guys would have loved my high school

all that's missing is a donk on it

what does this mean: "he bics his hair because he's baldy"

(i understand the second bit)

Bic razor

truly he is the calum of drunken badinage

I took it as drawing dots on his head to make it look like he's still got hair, in a cartoon fashion!

does that work? asking for deems

probably about as useful as gluing your arse-hairs on your head.

the drawing dots thing is a funnier insult, bcz beano-esque

https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/beano/images/a/a2/1815824-wilfred.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20161018145417

is that smiffy?

no that's wilfred, smiffy wears yellow and has a kind of tonsure

is bic as a verb a regional peculiarity?

guy in the phone booth ftw

"er... partially" is my favorite part of that

not sure which part of real england that was filmed, but bic is a verb in sheffield fwiw

Fiorucci Made Me Hardcore - Mark Leckey (poll)

https://images.bigcartel.com/product_images/191547091/YOURS2.JPG?auto=format&fit=max&h=1000&w=1000

from fake England, but understood "bics" immediately

joker otm tbh

https://78.media.tumblr.com/12fd0cdb895147fb21167a4e9fe5d763/tumblr_moxvzdMNr01s11vqao5_1280.jpg

i know it's scotland but this feels like the right thread

In a laver: seaweed shuts nuclear reactor again in bad weather

EDF’s Torness plant east of Edinburgh has previously been taken offline due to jellyfish

https://www.theguardian.com/business/2018/mar/05/seaweed-shuts-nuclear-reactor-edf-torness-plant

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DYhz9KVWkAASN8T.jpg

you wouldn't think it to look at her

thread

my new favourite hobby is watching old clips from airline of people not being able to get on their flights . a personal favourite : mouse woman pic.twitter.com/TQwtmMAd4F

— Tom Walker (@tomwaIker) March 25, 2018

I know someone who was on this show, missed his flight and made up a complete lie, about missing his brother's wedding or something, to get on another flight. He doesn't even have a brother.

cannot watch shows about pigs or airport pigs, they make me v rationally angry

was up north this weekend. was told about a babbys yed. seems real english.

"In Wigan you can still go to the chippy with your own Pyrex dish and ask for: “A babbys yed – leave t’elmet on – chips an’ pea wet.” The translation of this puzzling indigenous language: “A baby’s head [steak pudding], with the tinfoil still on with chips and pea wet.” As to the aforementioned steak pudding it is so named due to the gentle dip in the top of the suet which bears a striking resemblance to the depressed fontanel of a new-born infant whose skull plates have yet to move into position."

mmm baby brains nomnomnom

"pea wet" universally understood and needs no translation i guess?

Haha I clearly remember the first time I went to a chip shop with my friend (also from Wigan) and heard him ask for a baby's head (fwiw he deffo didn't pronounce it "babby's yed") - I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

https://www.gazettelive.co.uk/news/teesside-news/fury-after-morrisons-wouldnt-sell-14533827

it just feels More and More like this countrys changing

' “There’s more to this,” he said. “Morrisons have got their own agenda. '

THIS is Real England April 2018. All conspiracy theories and desperate hopelessness.

Yeah '..agenda' is the new 'narrative'.

In fact 'They've got their own agenda' is to the late 2010s what 'It's political correctness gone mad' was to the mid-1990s.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DbVQDYfW0AEPXIC.jpg:large

Ketchup for Surrey? Guess they never asked anyone in Woking.

I feel I will never fully grasp Real Englishness cos I can't for the life of me understand the appeal of chips and gravy.

If I'm having sausages and chips I'll make some instant onion gravy. I can't get down with curry sauce.

just think of it as shitty poutine

chip shop curry sauce is the greatest thing though

I'm not a chip snob, but feel strongly that something as simple as onion gravy should be made with caramelised onions, butter, wine, beef stock, flour etc, not that fucking instant shite!

Your chips'd go cold

being a top class masterchef is all about timing.

I once saw a Chippy Chinese style Curry sauce youtube masterclass. You basically just deepfry a load of onions, apples, garlic, ginger and then add industrial amounts of oil, flour, msg, madras curry powder to the filtered out gack. The process was so repulsive it put me off having it, until the next time I had it and loved it of course!

Sometimes chippy curry sauce overdoes the sweetness for me but when it's on song it's the best, noe let us talk of this no more cos my local chippy doesn't open on a sunday

curry sauce is just spicy gravy

not that fucking instant shite!

Bisto Onion Gravy is pretty good.

Although Bisto Chicken Gravy with chicken and chips is even better.