Why do people leave ILX for good?

for some reason i feel awkward about posting there but i'm watching a lot of sixers games this year so i probably should

― Mordy, Tuesday, February 27, 2018 8:27 PM (forty-five minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

we all trust the process, yes, come join

Aimless OTM. The whole “he’s teasing you and being mean because he likes you” thing connects love with being hurt or feeling emotional pain and sends the message to girls that sometimes boys who like you will hurt you and is not OK at all.

sad sigh and co-signing

I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I was told this throughout elementary school and middle school. It’s a really destructive message to send to both girls AND boys.

totally otm

Yes, it's harmful for everyone.
Usually "they're doing it because they like you" is either prefaced or followed by "oh, you should be flattered" and there are few things (anything?) less flattering than being targeted for abuse. I'm sure they don't even remember it.

i was told girls were mean to me because they liked me but i never believed that b/c i was an annoying brat

obv "girls are mean to you because they like you" is also extremely disempowering to girls/women

i think people say it like it's some kind of consolation, only it's not

I'm at a Superchunk show with a group including four ex-ilx0rs and this thread is being discussed

reasons include racism and mansplaining, names named

[placeholder for names]

other please specify

racism, mansplaining

'mansplaining' is not a real thing

would you get off the internet pls

but i'm still using it

ya but u COULD stop

don't condescendingly explain free will and the internet to me while also being a particular gender please, thanks

rich g

sleepingbag wrote this on thread thread to get over a breakup on board I Love TMI on Feb 27, 2018

feel sure that you've found the person you'll spend the rest of your life with

this is a thing?

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sleepingbag wrote this on thread SADDO: THE MOVIE (aka READY PLAYER ONE) on board I Love Everything on Feb 20, 2018

goddammit this poster is literally just "HEY REMEMBER THIS STUFF?"

*meticulously bumps thread on 2000's internet pop culture forum for every single intellectual property mentioned in this movie*
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sleepingbag wrote this on thread the alt-right on board I Love Everything on Feb 19, 2018

saddo as an insult all the time lately, why. seems a little kick-someone-while-they're-down-y. fuck the happyos imo.
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sleepingbag wrote this on thread are you more like or unlike other people on board I Love Everything on Feb 17, 2018

ILX is it's one of the only enclaves of people on earth where I don't feel like I'm on the outside looking at people whose interactions feel forced and weird and beyond my ability to comprehend or replicate.

*makes list of 143 albums that are good*

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sleepingbag wrote this on thread who is Bob Lefsetz? on board I Love Music on Feb 16, 2018

Lefsetz is the same writer who saw Beyoncé perform at the 2013 Super Bowl and remarked that he wasn’t sure what to do afterwards, “join a gym or masturbate.

lol what a silly old man where does he get these ideas

https://j.gifs.com/JqKEXl.gif

yonce all on my mouth like liquor

sleepingbag, or “sb”if I may abbreviate and call to action in the same phrase.. step off

Say hello to the 4 il-exors for me, sic.

sic kickin it with lorax

Tell them I said 'lads'

I don’t even know wtf is going on this this extremely messy thread but 40xps it would be rad if mordy posted on ilh

there is a veneer of civility that gives way to some pretty heinous behaviour at times

like if you are asking why ppl leave as if you havent seen it happen in real time then bless yr naivety i guess idk

ppl leave ilx bcz ppl are dicks

jaymc to thread plz

― Here Comes The Brain Event (Old Lunch), Monday, February 26, 2018 12:39 PM (two days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol i don't know who anyone is anymore.

like lamp, i haven't entirely quit ilx, but i spend much less time here than i used to. for me, there were three factors:

1) career demands; less time to get wrapped up in trivial message-board conversations during the workday.

2) twitter became the default internet thing for me to obsessively check throughout the day. when i posted here more, i would refresh site new answers a lot, just hoping that there was a new post to read. on twitter, there is always a new post to read, and it's much easier to dip in and out of. there's also, of course, the potential for attention outside the bubble of ilx, which was a big part of the initial attraction.

3) chicago ilxors migrated to a different corner of the internet. this was kind of the final nail in the coffin for me. if i was reading nothing else on ilx, i would check into the chicago thread to commiserate with my irl pals. without that, ilx felt less essential.

having said that, i do miss the feeling of ~community~ that i got from this place for so long. i haven't really found a substitute for that. (weirdly, i feel like the size of the community was important: it was big enough to be dynamic and unpredictable, but small enough that i recognized most people and felt like we knew each other.)

I would like to invite roxy and JBR and tehresa and tokyo rosemary and some others back to more regular ILX posting but i also can understand that maybe they all left for reasons that also included wanting to break free from habitual posting on a website.

Wait hold on, I posted JBR's reasons upthread and it had nothing to do with this.

I know five ppl that left because there wasn't enough racism and mansplaining tru story

I imagine I will get called out for abusing mod powers to blow up a dude's spot, but I feel like this is relevant to the thread. The other day, someone I believe to be former ilx poster 'and what' registered under a new screen name, flagged this post, and has been laying low since.

that's cute if so

however I don't think that should be something you reveal

Can mods tell the true identity of socks?

Not feeling so tough now do you

i would imagine it's possible to guess based on IP addresses or emails used to sign up but anybody using a proxy would probably not be obvious

3) chicago ilxors migrated to a different corner of the internet.

ye olde DC ILX posse from a decade ago mostly just migrated. I hope everyone is doing well and drinking less.

I haven’t run a sock in over 4 years

imago: because of a mods obligation to privacy regarding the fps or because I somehow scotched his triumphant return?

treesh: sometimes, not always. xps, mostly what noodle vague said.

Many xposts but lamp I was always a fan of your posts as well

I'd have no problem divulging my FPs (and often follow them up with a post directed at the FP-ee), but I guess I can understand people objecting to mods revealing the Ps they've F-ed.

I also love Lamp.

was always going to be hard out there for a lamp once the table stopped posting

A+

https://camo.githubusercontent.com/6a66e38fa0084d6c641aec15d5a2edb8bfa2fd5f/68747470733a2f2f7261772e6769746875622e636f6d2f726f626d637665792f692d6c6f76652d6c616d702f6d61737465722f6c616d702e706e67

xps: Yeah, I normally keep quiet about who FP'd which post, but if a former poster re-regs in the midst of a heated discussion about where all the former posters from the good ol' days went and then flags his own offensive post from ten years ago...

I think it's cuet and am glad you shared it. If a person fp's himself and no-one's around to witness it has the p been f'ed etc

People have the right to F their own P in private and, if they so choose, they can at a later date release a video to the public of their auto-FP sesh.

the fppening

lol

who says we don't have "healthy flirtatiousness/sexual energy"?

check your dms hot stuff