Why do people leave ILX for good?

xpost lamp

i don't think meaningfulness is mutually exclusive with continual engagement. something can mean the entire world to me and i'll just drop it tomorrow and not think about it again for years.

it's really good to see you btw

other than the brief month or two I was inexplicably throwing barbs at you I always liked yr posts too Lamp.

I mostly come here to read and learn stuff.

I got my friend to post here: slothroprhymes

I beg him to post regularly again but he just doesn't have the ilx bug anymore I guess. Only shows up occasionally these days.

― Evan, Tuesday, February 27, 2018 7:59 AM (eleven hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I've thought about it. I don't post that much, don't really have a lot of connections to folks at ILX, get most of my music news elsewhere, and tbh was never the most apt messageboard guy anyway, even when I was on them every day. I like that ILX never became facebook, as far as likes/quantifiable feedback, but otoh sometimes it feels like Twitter. So, if I left, it would be because I was finally ready to say "I dgaf whether someone I don't know thinks my post is otm". I don't need to be at the table, or at least not this kind of table. Where's the table that can read your innermost thoughts and validate your innermost valuables without you having to be sociable about it? Oh yeah, it's the embittered solitary novelist table.

― Dominique, Tuesday, February 27, 2018 11:12 AM (eight hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

sloth and dominique both need to post to the i love hoops message board again so we can make basketball observations together.

(everyone who likes hoops should go to i love hoops with world's best and nicest mod, m bison)

Xxxxpost neanderthal thats him, whole thing was so horrible and senseless

xps completely by coincidence, one of my high school bullies was put in a tertiary class with me well after we both left school. he tried bullying me again and the whole class was “wtf is wrong with that guy”

(everyone who likes hoops should go to i love hoops with world's best and nicest mod, m bison)

for some reason i feel awkward about posting there but i'm watching a lot of sixers games this year so i probably should

enbb and lechera are you talking about "boys" as in elementary/middle school boys? i feel mortified that i've never really thought about specific ways boys are mean to girls at this age - in my memory the two sexes stayed pretty isolated from each other until high school but i guess this is probably wrong
For me, middle school. I didn't know any boys until 8th grade and I will never forget the first day of class, or these new boys' coordinated effort to humiliate me that followed. I remember being told that they were doing this because they liked me, but if they liked me, they shouldn't have organized to humiliate me. This is in part why I hate the song "Amanda" by Boston. I'm way over it, but it's not like I forgot.

mordy you should post there, I don't even know anything about basketball except that I enjoy watching the NBA and imo anyone else here who enjoys watching the NBA should post there

I remember being told that they were doing this because they liked me

More like they felt strongly that it was good to demonstrate they had a kind of power over you, hoping it would result in your submitting to them. The desired submission was no doubt connected to sexuality, but calling that muddle of cruel and confused desires "liking you" is completely perverse.

for some reason i feel awkward about posting there but i'm watching a lot of sixers games this year so i probably should

― Mordy, Tuesday, February 27, 2018 8:27 PM (forty-five minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

we all trust the process, yes, come join

Aimless OTM. The whole “he’s teasing you and being mean because he likes you” thing connects love with being hurt or feeling emotional pain and sends the message to girls that sometimes boys who like you will hurt you and is not OK at all.

sad sigh and co-signing

I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I was told this throughout elementary school and middle school. It’s a really destructive message to send to both girls AND boys.

totally otm

Yes, it's harmful for everyone.
Usually "they're doing it because they like you" is either prefaced or followed by "oh, you should be flattered" and there are few things (anything?) less flattering than being targeted for abuse. I'm sure they don't even remember it.

i was told girls were mean to me because they liked me but i never believed that b/c i was an annoying brat

obv "girls are mean to you because they like you" is also extremely disempowering to girls/women

i think people say it like it's some kind of consolation, only it's not

I'm at a Superchunk show with a group including four ex-ilx0rs and this thread is being discussed

reasons include racism and mansplaining, names named

[placeholder for names]

other please specify

racism, mansplaining

'mansplaining' is not a real thing

would you get off the internet pls

but i'm still using it

ya but u COULD stop

don't condescendingly explain free will and the internet to me while also being a particular gender please, thanks

rich g

sleepingbag wrote this on thread thread to get over a breakup on board I Love TMI on Feb 27, 2018

feel sure that you've found the person you'll spend the rest of your life with

this is a thing?

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sleepingbag wrote this on thread SADDO: THE MOVIE (aka READY PLAYER ONE) on board I Love Everything on Feb 20, 2018

goddammit this poster is literally just "HEY REMEMBER THIS STUFF?"

*meticulously bumps thread on 2000's internet pop culture forum for every single intellectual property mentioned in this movie*
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sleepingbag wrote this on thread the alt-right on board I Love Everything on Feb 19, 2018

saddo as an insult all the time lately, why. seems a little kick-someone-while-they're-down-y. fuck the happyos imo.
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sleepingbag wrote this on thread are you more like or unlike other people on board I Love Everything on Feb 17, 2018

ILX is it's one of the only enclaves of people on earth where I don't feel like I'm on the outside looking at people whose interactions feel forced and weird and beyond my ability to comprehend or replicate.

*makes list of 143 albums that are good*

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sleepingbag wrote this on thread who is Bob Lefsetz? on board I Love Music on Feb 16, 2018

Lefsetz is the same writer who saw Beyoncé perform at the 2013 Super Bowl and remarked that he wasn’t sure what to do afterwards, “join a gym or masturbate.

lol what a silly old man where does he get these ideas

https://j.gifs.com/JqKEXl.gif

yonce all on my mouth like liquor

sleepingbag, or “sb”if I may abbreviate and call to action in the same phrase.. step off

Say hello to the 4 il-exors for me, sic.

sic kickin it with lorax

Tell them I said 'lads'

I don’t even know wtf is going on this this extremely messy thread but 40xps it would be rad if mordy posted on ilh

there is a veneer of civility that gives way to some pretty heinous behaviour at times

like if you are asking why ppl leave as if you havent seen it happen in real time then bless yr naivety i guess idk

ppl leave ilx bcz ppl are dicks

jaymc to thread plz

― Here Comes The Brain Event (Old Lunch), Monday, February 26, 2018 12:39 PM (two days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol i don't know who anyone is anymore.

like lamp, i haven't entirely quit ilx, but i spend much less time here than i used to. for me, there were three factors:

1) career demands; less time to get wrapped up in trivial message-board conversations during the workday.

2) twitter became the default internet thing for me to obsessively check throughout the day. when i posted here more, i would refresh site new answers a lot, just hoping that there was a new post to read. on twitter, there is always a new post to read, and it's much easier to dip in and out of. there's also, of course, the potential for attention outside the bubble of ilx, which was a big part of the initial attraction.

3) chicago ilxors migrated to a different corner of the internet. this was kind of the final nail in the coffin for me. if i was reading nothing else on ilx, i would check into the chicago thread to commiserate with my irl pals. without that, ilx felt less essential.

having said that, i do miss the feeling of ~community~ that i got from this place for so long. i haven't really found a substitute for that. (weirdly, i feel like the size of the community was important: it was big enough to be dynamic and unpredictable, but small enough that i recognized most people and felt like we knew each other.)

I would like to invite roxy and JBR and tehresa and tokyo rosemary and some others back to more regular ILX posting but i also can understand that maybe they all left for reasons that also included wanting to break free from habitual posting on a website.

Wait hold on, I posted JBR's reasons upthread and it had nothing to do with this.

I know five ppl that left because there wasn't enough racism and mansplaining tru story

I imagine I will get called out for abusing mod powers to blow up a dude's spot, but I feel like this is relevant to the thread. The other day, someone I believe to be former ilx poster 'and what' registered under a new screen name, flagged this post, and has been laying low since.

that's cute if so

however I don't think that should be something you reveal

Can mods tell the true identity of socks?

Not feeling so tough now do you

i would imagine it's possible to guess based on IP addresses or emails used to sign up but anybody using a proxy would probably not be obvious

3) chicago ilxors migrated to a different corner of the internet.

ye olde DC ILX posse from a decade ago mostly just migrated. I hope everyone is doing well and drinking less.

I haven’t run a sock in over 4 years

imago: because of a mods obligation to privacy regarding the fps or because I somehow scotched his triumphant return?

treesh: sometimes, not always. xps, mostly what noodle vague said.

Many xposts but lamp I was always a fan of your posts as well

I'd have no problem divulging my FPs (and often follow them up with a post directed at the FP-ee), but I guess I can understand people objecting to mods revealing the Ps they've F-ed.

I also love Lamp.