Why do people leave ILX for good?

bring back mandee and roxy and rrrobyn, in a circle of pitchforks

KM otm. Although pedagogical patience wrt those who are un-/underschooled about the topic at hand has not historically been one of ILX's strong points. It's nice when it happens but I by no means expect it.

everyone yelled at Calum on ILX and he left and wrote, like, five books. i'd like to think that we inspired him. i would also probably read his book on Cannibal Holocaust published by Columbia University Press.

I own the blu-ray of "The Burbs" that has a documentary by Calum on it!

I've talked to mandee lately, not sure what roxy is up to, rrrobyn still posts on occasion but is pretty busy in general

like i said, i could think of 100 reasons not to ask someone to return -- it's not difficult for me or anyone else to come up with reasons why inviting departed posters to return might be a bad idea
but i would be lying if i said that this conversation isn't making me want to take off myself
does anyone actually have a better idea or do you want to lament long lost posters indefinitely? they are all on facebook! if you don't want to meet them there or invite them back here, you don't get their shared thoughts i guess.

but i would be lying if i said that this conversation isn't making me want to take off myself

Why?

I don't get why you're so bothered by people just saying they miss certain posters.

KM yes that’s where I come from, I guess I’m oldschool but I don’t feel comfortable sharing anything too personal with strangers online, esp on an archived forum. I would be happy to meet up with people irl at shows but I never lived around any.

it's fine for things to end, or for people to end their interest in something. you're never really going to recreate a time or conversation.

lol I just keep thinking of shakey always being adamant he couldn't tell posters apart and had no interest in who anyone was outside of the board

if I have reasons for leaving a community then, at least for me, the last thing I would want is to be reminded of it and/or to be guilted to return

I agree this is the most considerate approach. Our desire for the return of a few dozen valued ex-ilxors is not a license to question their choice to stay away. We are easy to find, if they choose to return.

as are they if you miss them so much

^ correct

calum is a lot of the reason i left first time round: other posters have been nastier (inexcusably much nastier) but no one before or since brought out dislike in me to the extent he did -- so much so that i started disliking myself in that state of mind

(lol i have left and returned too often to count)

lol I just keep thinking of shakey always being adamant he couldn't tell posters apart and had no interest in who anyone was outside of the board

― mh, Tuesday, February 27, 2018 2:42 PM (twelve minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this but unironically, unless someone uses their real name I probably have no idea who they are

(semi-relatedly all this "KM" is throwing me for a loop)

xxp seeing you around brings me a little bit of joy every time you post on an ilm thread I'm following, mark! especially now that your book's so close to being in my hands

do you still have dreams of emma bunton and nicky wire in a banana suit, mark s.?

x-post

i honestly don't remember a lot of what calum did other than the goofy thread titles.

fingers x-ed mh!

and thank you :)

STOP IT SCOTT, i try not to wish him ill, but my hackles just rise

they are all on facebook! if you don't want to meet them there

luv 2 be monetised by a company that breaks laws to sell elections to fascists who destroy the environment

none of us wanted to be here longer than Kevin Nealon was on SNL, but here we are

xp ^^^^ why ppl are leaving ilx in droves :drudgesiren:

(I hope you don't leave, LL!)

excellent impression of a finger-pointing US lib there, sic

sic is, surprisingly, on twitter with good cat content and jokes about your mother, though

should i post about my love for paddington bear movie on the website that has literally all my friends family and colleagues or on the website that is deserted but untouched by russian interests? i don't know what to do!

they are all on facebook! if you don't want to meet them there

luv 2 be monetised by a company that breaks laws to sell elections to fascists who destroy the environment

― Haribo Hancock (sic), Tuesday, February 27, 2018 3:04 PM (two minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Also you can share funny memes

i'll also admit that i have issues wrt people saying "i miss u" and then doing jack shit about it

aww, i miss jack shit. oh well

we can share funny memes here! hahahaha!!!

http://quotesnhumor.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Top-50-Funniest-Memes-Collection-memes-famous.jpg

if ppl get a new job and move to a different city, and I miss seeing them, I don't send them a telegram telling them to move back

yes ilx definitely died when all the hilarious hitler threads stopped

― brimstead, Tuesday, February 27, 2018 10:31 AM (one hour ago)

very few of them were actually about hitler.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1tAYmMjLdY

did markers quit or

The shifting gender balance is by far the most concerning thing, to my mind, all that said. (Would be v. keen to hear any technical ideas that might help w/that)

― stet, Wednesday, 28 February 2018 02:06 (five hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

legitimately surprised this didn't become a thread (and i don't mean in a "hurrr" sense, i really think this would be valuable)

if ppl get a new job and move to a different city, and I miss seeing them, I don't send them a telegram telling them to move back
this is not what i was suggesting but you're right that it's a bad idea

none of us wanted to be here longer than Kevin Nealon was on SNL, but here we are

― ice cream social justice (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, February 27, 2018 2:04 PM (twenty-two minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

New board description, plz.

Is the gender split really much lower now than over 10-15 years ago?

It may only seem like it if the number of regulars in general has steadily dropped over the last ten years. Shame either way though.

there definitely used to be more women participating in more threads. there was also a healthy flirtatiousness/sexual energy. all gone.

Karl otm

our libidos started dying off when the median age got too high, thank god

nowadays we all just put on our sweatpants and watch the day go by

"healthy"

There were definitely a lot more prominent female posters 14/15 years ago than there are now. It's possible there are plenty of posters I just don't know are women these days, but it definitely seems lower, particularly on ILM.

This place felt particularly unfriendly to female posters around 2007-08 and several people told me they'd just had enough. I think they were as much put off by particular creeps as the general fractious atmosphere. It's a lot chiller now but I guess a lot of people just get to the point where it stops feeling like the community they originally posted to.

Obviously when someone makes a big ostentatious QUITTING ILX FOREVER move they usually come back, they're less likely to when they just slip away quietly. TBH I still think that work and family are the two big reasons people leave, although another big factor is that social media has allowed people to replicate various ILX social circles without actually using the boards.

not to be an asshole but, some of what was considered "healthy" or acceptable before wouldn't fly in the #metoo era

I don’t mind that we don’t have ws anymore

yes i know that xp

depends on your perspective, sug

there was also a healthy flirtatiousness/sexual energy. all gone.

Well, like Emily Dickinson said in that movie last year, when a friend marries, it's a death.