Why do people leave ILX for good?

i guess a breeze might have moved your head? what's going on here

― i remember the corned beef of my childhood (Karl Malone), Tuesday, February 27, 2018 10:15 AM (two minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

o shit i thought it might pass unnoticed, i've got to get the hell out of here

Moo Vaughn is clearly another old poster, not Shasta

some old posters are too old for me

i wish some of you transferred your exacting standards for quality posts to Democratic politicians

The best way to read a long ILX thread is to ctrl-f for “otm” and then read all the posts that were on the money

Damn that's a hack

one thing i don't get in IRL conversations is when people nod at each other. why nod your head in agreement if you're not adding anything to the conversation? there's no point

obv you want different things out of ilx than i do and that's fine esp since you got what you wanted + there's no point crying over spilt milk. ilx pretty much died when nu-ilafl died. i stick around for a few posters/threads but i do ask myself more and more why i'm still here.

we need to move on like moo vaughn has

I have done the obvious gotcha search in case anyone was thinking of doing it, just imagine i c+p'd the results here you know how that would look

yes ilx definitely died when all the hilarious hitler threads stopped

Wins is it a thread connection

Mordy you’re all over the boards with enthusiasm I don’t buy this ennui you’re evincing

there are threads i still post on (outernational, MENA, ILG) but tbh i was telling the truth above 99% of the things i think to post i censor and just post in ilx chat or some other venue. generally it's not worth it.

"ennui you're evincing" tho is a+

if you guys miss those women posters so much, you should personally invite them back! encourage them to return!
the alternative is to go back to facebook. where most of them are active.
lamenting their absence over and over is futile

― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Wednesday, February 28, 2018 12:31 AM (five hours ago)

if ppl have other fulfilling things going on in their lives, it could seem weird and controlly to ask them to come back to a social space they have left, for one's own entertainment

and yeah, in the case of JBL I have told her that her voice is missed here and she said "no it isn't."

the alternative is to go back to facebook.

back?

if you guys miss those women posters so much, you should personally invite them back! encourage them to return!

please do not do this

obv you want different things out of ilx than i do and that's fine esp since you got what you wanted

i do want different things, but i mean it when i say that i can understand why others would want other things. people approach messageboards in different ways which aren't necessarily stable over time. some people don't post on a thread unless they think they're particularly knowledgeable about the topic. they don't want to contribute unless they think they can provide unique insight, or to correct an obviously flawed line of reasoning that hasn't yet been questioned in the thread. i think that approach is not only commendable but also maybe the dominant strain on ilx.

i think i started out that way, too. but it started to feel weirdly disconnected and transactional to me. a person that only speaks when they're the expert is a useful person to have around, but they're usually not a friend. a friend often wades into topics they don't know anything about, and a good friend expresses vulnerability. when you post here for a while, you naturally start to get to know the people behind the posts and forming vague outlines of what they're like.

so i feel like ilx for some people is all about knowledge transfer (which again, is totally normal), but for others it's a more meta-thing that's also about people and personalities and even friendship. and for some other people it's a read only operation (lurkers), but i can understand why it's particularly irritating to the knowledge transfer only people. from their perspective it's like a group of annoying people in the hallway who keep butting into the classroom.

and many other approaches to posting beyond those, of course. for example i always admire those who can express things pithily, which is like a distant island to me

so i guess i feel like while i'm not opposed to other discourses, i came to ilx for the knowledge transactional culture and it feels like that in particular has receded making the value added less and less clear. (tbc it's no one's "fault" but i guess as certain posters have left, or scaled back their contributions, and what is left are fewer of the ppl whose knowledge i was hoping to extract or whatever.)

to expand: if I have reasons for leaving a community then, at least for me, the last thing I would want is to be reminded of it and/or to be guilted to return

bring back mandee and roxy and rrrobyn, in a circle of pitchforks

KM otm. Although pedagogical patience wrt those who are un-/underschooled about the topic at hand has not historically been one of ILX's strong points. It's nice when it happens but I by no means expect it.

everyone yelled at Calum on ILX and he left and wrote, like, five books. i'd like to think that we inspired him. i would also probably read his book on Cannibal Holocaust published by Columbia University Press.

I own the blu-ray of "The Burbs" that has a documentary by Calum on it!

I've talked to mandee lately, not sure what roxy is up to, rrrobyn still posts on occasion but is pretty busy in general

like i said, i could think of 100 reasons not to ask someone to return -- it's not difficult for me or anyone else to come up with reasons why inviting departed posters to return might be a bad idea
but i would be lying if i said that this conversation isn't making me want to take off myself
does anyone actually have a better idea or do you want to lament long lost posters indefinitely? they are all on facebook! if you don't want to meet them there or invite them back here, you don't get their shared thoughts i guess.

but i would be lying if i said that this conversation isn't making me want to take off myself

Why?

I don't get why you're so bothered by people just saying they miss certain posters.

KM yes that’s where I come from, I guess I’m oldschool but I don’t feel comfortable sharing anything too personal with strangers online, esp on an archived forum. I would be happy to meet up with people irl at shows but I never lived around any.

it's fine for things to end, or for people to end their interest in something. you're never really going to recreate a time or conversation.

lol I just keep thinking of shakey always being adamant he couldn't tell posters apart and had no interest in who anyone was outside of the board

if I have reasons for leaving a community then, at least for me, the last thing I would want is to be reminded of it and/or to be guilted to return

I agree this is the most considerate approach. Our desire for the return of a few dozen valued ex-ilxors is not a license to question their choice to stay away. We are easy to find, if they choose to return.

as are they if you miss them so much

^ correct

calum is a lot of the reason i left first time round: other posters have been nastier (inexcusably much nastier) but no one before or since brought out dislike in me to the extent he did -- so much so that i started disliking myself in that state of mind

(lol i have left and returned too often to count)

lol I just keep thinking of shakey always being adamant he couldn't tell posters apart and had no interest in who anyone was outside of the board

― mh, Tuesday, February 27, 2018 2:42 PM (twelve minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this but unironically, unless someone uses their real name I probably have no idea who they are

(semi-relatedly all this "KM" is throwing me for a loop)

xxp seeing you around brings me a little bit of joy every time you post on an ilm thread I'm following, mark! especially now that your book's so close to being in my hands

do you still have dreams of emma bunton and nicky wire in a banana suit, mark s.?

x-post

i honestly don't remember a lot of what calum did other than the goofy thread titles.

fingers x-ed mh!

and thank you :)

STOP IT SCOTT, i try not to wish him ill, but my hackles just rise

they are all on facebook! if you don't want to meet them there

luv 2 be monetised by a company that breaks laws to sell elections to fascists who destroy the environment

none of us wanted to be here longer than Kevin Nealon was on SNL, but here we are

xp ^^^^ why ppl are leaving ilx in droves :drudgesiren:

(I hope you don't leave, LL!)

excellent impression of a finger-pointing US lib there, sic

sic is, surprisingly, on twitter with good cat content and jokes about your mother, though

should i post about my love for paddington bear movie on the website that has literally all my friends family and colleagues or on the website that is deserted but untouched by russian interests? i don't know what to do!

they are all on facebook! if you don't want to meet them there

luv 2 be monetised by a company that breaks laws to sell elections to fascists who destroy the environment

― Haribo Hancock (sic), Tuesday, February 27, 2018 3:04 PM (two minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Also you can share funny memes

i'll also admit that i have issues wrt people saying "i miss u" and then doing jack shit about it

aww, i miss jack shit. oh well

we can share funny memes here! hahahaha!!!

http://quotesnhumor.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Top-50-Funniest-Memes-Collection-memes-famous.jpg

if ppl get a new job and move to a different city, and I miss seeing them, I don't send them a telegram telling them to move back