it's not really that we're too cruel or not cruel enough. we should be less cruel to eccentric unique posters and more cruel to landfill posters. instead we mock the posters who stand out (and therefore contribute to the site) and let the idiot contributions from the ilx peanut gallery go uncommented upon.
― Mordy, Tuesday, 27 February 2018 17:12 (two minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
Too simplistic again imo.
Worth isn't a binary.
Unique behaviour can be as shitty or as boring as anything else.
― Simpson L. (darraghmac), Tuesday, 27 February 2018 17:17 (six years ago) link
Tom D. otm
― sarahell, Tuesday, 27 February 2018 17:17 (six years ago) link
i keep thinking the board misses the self-important ambitious posting of yore but then i look at the self-important posters who are left
― ogmor, Tuesday, 27 February 2018 17:18 (six years ago) link
I may have been shat upon but I've had the near-indestructible private school self-confidence to just keep on at it. Others haven't had the privilege of such a robust psychological defence
― imago, Tuesday, 27 February 2018 17:19 (six years ago) link
constantly seeking out hazing is a way to live, I guess
― mh, Tuesday, 27 February 2018 17:21 (six years ago) link
No LJ you're just oblivious I think
― Simpson L. (darraghmac), Tuesday, 27 February 2018 17:21 (six years ago) link
imago is deeply beloved by me, he reminds me of my brother
― omar little, Tuesday, 27 February 2018 17:21 (six years ago) link
mh - i think the term for that is "power bottom"
― sarahell, Tuesday, 27 February 2018 17:22 (six years ago) link
If LJ were my brother he'd have had it battered out of him early enough that it would have stuck but he is what he is and we're fond of him in our own way
― Simpson L. (darraghmac), Tuesday, 27 February 2018 17:22 (six years ago) link
I had some "friends" who were genuinely jerks when I was a kid and it took me a number of years to realize that I'd fight back against them by being passive aggressive or finding modes of conversation they hated and using them. Horrible way to live.
― mh, Tuesday, 27 February 2018 17:25 (six years ago) link
when i was a kid i didn't get along w/ a lot of the other students who i felt were bullies and cruel. one time i asked someone who was mean to me why they didn't like me and they said that it was because i didn't like them. this must've been around 5th grade. it lead to a lifelong journey of noticing how the attitudes i express, sometimes subconsciously, sometimes w/ just looks or snide remarks, but never taking responsibility for the affect i was putting out, actually generated the responses i got from people. it's v rare that someone bullies bambi. generally they're bullying some covert passive-aggressive bully who thinks they're bambi.
― Mordy, Tuesday, 27 February 2018 17:28 (six years ago) link
Victim blambing
― Simpson L. (darraghmac), Tuesday, 27 February 2018 17:29 (six years ago) link
People def bully Bambi, key word here is generally in your case
― kolakube (Ross), Tuesday, 27 February 2018 17:33 (six years ago) link
Who Killfiled Bambi?
― Video reach stereo bog (Tom D.), Tuesday, 27 February 2018 17:33 (six years ago) link
Lol
― scotti pruitti (wins), Tuesday, 27 February 2018 17:34 (six years ago) link
Your intentions can be pure but someone may just hate the way you look or don't think you fit in
― kolakube (Ross), Tuesday, 27 February 2018 17:34 (six years ago) link
I thought they just killed 'is mum?
― sarahell, Tuesday, 27 February 2018 17:35 (six years ago) link
To Understand Messageboards, You Need To Understand Bambi
― i remember the corned beef of my childhood (Karl Malone), Tuesday, 27 February 2018 17:36 (six years ago) link
yeah if it's one person but the aphorism about assholes applies. if you run into one asshole etc. if everyone is "bullying" you you may just have a persecution complex and a shitty personality.
― Mordy, Tuesday, 27 February 2018 17:38 (six years ago) link
KM otm!
― sarahell, Tuesday, 27 February 2018 17:38 (six years ago) link
Fair enough Mordy. Point taken!
― kolakube (Ross), Tuesday, 27 February 2018 17:39 (six years ago) link
@scott ever since Site New Answers I don’t really notice whether threads are ILE or ILM, I just tend to post on music threads. Even there I don’t post much beyond the metal, ambient and italo discussions, I don’t feel comfortable talking about rap, jazz, pop or classical even though I listen to that just as much, happy to just vote for it around yearly poll time.
― Siegbran, Tuesday, 27 February 2018 17:40 (six years ago) link
usually I leave for months at a time because I feel inferior to everybody and probably took something someone said to me way too personally but I come back cos I find things on here that I don't find elsewhere.
― fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 27 February 2018 17:42 (six years ago) link
i went through your 2017 metal list on Youtube and had a lot of fun doing it. it's exactly the kind of stuff i want to hear more of. cheers.
x-post
― scott seward, Tuesday, 27 February 2018 17:44 (six years ago) link
can we all bully mordy off the board now pls
― ogmor, Tuesday, 27 February 2018 17:49 (six years ago) link
after reading Neanderthal's comment and agreeing with it, I think I just realized I left ILX for a protracted period because Google Reader and my (relatively) new job took its place for a few years, and then I gradually started coming back and posting after they killed Google Reader and life got slightly less hectic (and also because I found out about Zing Touch)
― El Tomboto, Tuesday, 27 February 2018 17:49 (six years ago) link
Have left periodically because of boredom - with myself and the board. I don't think I've ever seriously fallen out with anyone or been especially upset by anyone. Also, real life stuff.
― Video reach stereo bog (Tom D.), Tuesday, 27 February 2018 17:50 (six years ago) link
everyone yelled at Calum on ILX and he left and wrote, like, five books. i'd like to think that we inspired him. i would also probably read his book on Cannibal Holocaust published by Columbia University Press.
https://cup.columbia.edu/book/cannibal-holocaust/9781911325116
― scott seward, Tuesday, 27 February 2018 17:51 (six years ago) link
a well-timed otm can imbue a discussion with a deep richness of meaning that would be missing otherwise
― had (crüt), Tuesday, 27 February 2018 17:52 (six years ago) link
― Mordy, Tuesday, February 27, 2018 5:38 PM (five minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
when everyone on ilx is bullying/'bullying' someone it's usually because ppl get the scent of blood and want to take part in the pile on as much as anything else imo? (or you get a person who's no good at shrugging off zings, so every thread they post in becomes dominated by then indignantly pushing back against criticism and pissing off everyone, including those who weren't even bothered by whatever the original infraction that prompted the criticism was)
― soref, Tuesday, 27 February 2018 17:52 (six years ago) link
new one from Edinburgh University Press this year:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Style-Sleaze-Exploitation-1959-1977-Traditions/dp/1474409253
― scott seward, Tuesday, 27 February 2018 17:53 (six years ago) link
please
― Mordy, Tuesday, 27 February 2018 17:56 (six years ago) link
it's the only way you'll learn
― ogmor, Tuesday, 27 February 2018 17:57 (six years ago) link
i love u all :*
― It's not delivery, it's Adorno! (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, 27 February 2018 17:57 (six years ago) link
For a moment, forget the bad days
― brimstead, Tuesday, 27 February 2018 17:58 (six years ago) link
generally they're bullying some covert passive-aggressive bully who thinks they're bambi
you're doing what every person everywhere does, which is to generalize from your own experience to understand the world and the experience of others, but as valuable as this reflex is, it never delivers as much as it promises. the lesson you learned in fifth grade was extremely valuable to you, and for the very reason that it is so vivid and valued, it is induces a kind of blindness to the experiences it does not fit.
fwiw, the bambi types present a safe tackling dummy for those who feel a need to display their tackling ability. they are especially at risk during the big social scrum that happens at puberty, where so many power dynamics are being explored and exploited.
― A is for (Aimless), Tuesday, 27 February 2018 17:58 (six years ago) link
i have met exactly 0 true bambis irl - at least as adults
― Mordy, Tuesday, 27 February 2018 17:59 (six years ago) link
therefore, they never existed. see my first sentence once more.
― A is for (Aimless), Tuesday, 27 February 2018 18:01 (six years ago) link
soref otm, i think that covers a lot of bullying IRL. i knew someone who was relentlessly bullied in school and then he moved to another state. we reconnected years later and i asked him how his school career was after that and he said it was the move was the best thing that could have happened to him. he didn't use this phrase but my sense was that he felt free and he could reboot and no one would know he'd been bullied before.
if you're someone who has been bullied, it's not that your personality is shitty (wtf) it's that it's hard to turn it around and come back from that in the eyes of others. the people who bullied you are not likely to suddenly become your best friends, and the people who stood idly by are not suddenly going to think you're the world's coolest kid.
i've always been glad i generally coasted through middle school and high school without taking much shit from others. but even so when i left my hometown damn that felt like a freeing moment.
― omar little, Tuesday, 27 February 2018 18:02 (six years ago) link
i was thinking about that story i read recently, those horrible parents in SoCal who homeschooled their 13 kids. how one of them went to school and was bullied for her clothes, because she never took a bath, because of other reasons directly related to her being abused at home. i saw that too, lots of these awkward kids who were completely decent people but just didn't fit in, and took a ton of shit.
― omar little, Tuesday, 27 February 2018 18:04 (six years ago) link
everyone yelled at Calum on ILX and he left and wrote, like, five books. i'd like to think that we inspired him.
Calum was a shitposter who kept trying to insist to me privately that he was just joking, when he had the sense of humor of a gnat.
― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 27 February 2018 18:04 (six years ago) link
ppl posting one word "otm" posts have been a blight on this site for as long as i've been here. if you're not adding anything with your post why are you posting?
― Mordy, Tuesday, February 27, 2018 9:13 AM (fifty-four minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
i like to pretend i have friends
― brimstead, Tuesday, 27 February 2018 18:08 (six years ago) link
one thing i don't get in IRL conversations is when people nod at each other. why nod your head in agreement if you're not adding anything to the conversation? there's no point
― i remember the corned beef of my childhood (Karl Malone), Tuesday, 27 February 2018 18:10 (six years ago) link
*nods*
― omar little, Tuesday, 27 February 2018 18:12 (six years ago) link
― had (crüt), Tuesday, February 27, 2018 11:52 AM (sixteen minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
otm
the nice part of messageboards is the conversational aspect and sometimes that means typing dumb messages of agreement as a cue
I mean, if I don't get an 'otm' or response I'm going to assume I didn't make my point clearly enough and follow up my post with eight more posts :)
― mh, Tuesday, 27 February 2018 18:12 (six years ago) link
I don't wanna write a treatise in defence of bullying because bullying is bad
But not everything that happens that u didn't like is bullying either
― Simpson L. (darraghmac), Tuesday, 27 February 2018 18:14 (six years ago) link
i guess a breeze might have moved your head? what's going on here
― i remember the corned beef of my childhood (Karl Malone), Tuesday, 27 February 2018 18:15 (six years ago) link
these meta-threads that prompt an in-depth discussion about ourselves have always been popular around here. frankly, it's nice to see the whole gang getting together for a chat.
― A is for (Aimless), Tuesday, 27 February 2018 18:16 (six years ago) link
Ya
― Simpson L. (darraghmac), Tuesday, 27 February 2018 18:17 (six years ago) link
if you guys miss those women posters so much, you should personally invite them back! encourage them to return!
a couple of us (at least!) have specifically told JBR(L) how much we miss her here; i think she's just found other outlets
Also miss seeing gygax/steve shasta post here.
what if i told you that he does
― mookieproof, Tuesday, 27 February 2018 18:18 (six years ago) link