your terrible ideas

You have to put “DO NOT STEAL”

Maximum Overdrive remake. Hell, they could actually start the movie with a realistic angle now that self-driving trucks are a reality. However it would be a waste of a good killer truck movie if they don’t crank up the loonyness halfway through.

Mobius Wrap, a baby wrap that is also a mobius strip. You can just slide the baby in and out without taking off the wrap.

Hospitals/Clinics in the US where you can rent different types of rooms/equipment by the hour so you can sort out your own medical issues.

Write a dead-tree travel guide

Morbius Rap, a genre of music

lol my Moby wrap does actually feel like a mobius wrap most times

Two of my bad ideas suggested here!

A mirror image All in the Family featuring an aging liberal archie bunker in Trump's America. Can't really conceptualize what it would be like beyond that basic premise.

I've tried to explain this too, and still can't quite explain what I'm talking about:

Ha, I haven't been able to think of a way to phrase this:

But listening to songs like "Ain't Nobody Leaving!" where he brags about having a mixed-race nephew - He's gorgeous! - AIN'T NOBODY LEAVING. I mean, even in 1991, I would've figured most people's reactions to a kid like that would be "so?"

I keep having this thought of some 90s alternative rocker like Perry Ferrell telling people today, "Yeah, man! You gotta RECYCLE more, stop RACISM, let GAY PEOPLE wear a DRESS if they wanna..." and the reporter going "Wear a DRESS?"

― pplains, Monday, October 21, 2013 11:10 AM

"I mean, if a chick wants to call herself JEFF, who cares? AIN'T NOBODY LEAVING."

And this one was too easy:

Maximum Overdrive remake. Hell, they could actually start the movie with a realistic angle now that self-driving trucks are a reality. However it would be a waste of a good killer truck movie if they don’t crank up the loonyness halfway through.

"It's 'Maximum Overdrive' meets 'Smokey & The Ban—"
"HERE! Just take the money, all of it!" https://t.co/okuGtL6SKt

— Tre Baker (@tre_baker) October 26, 2016

A shaggy dog story where the punchline is a pun on “Holocaust denial”

I don’t know what the pun would be, taking suggestions

The one thing I retained from the dream I woke up from this morning was a vending machine, like the kind you'd find in a break room with the spiral thingy which sometimes dispenses snacks and sometimes malfunctions and pins your snack against the glass. One of those machines which dispenses, y'know, Sun Chips and Skittles and packs of gum and also DVD copies of the Sharon Stone vehicle Sliver.

Oh man, I came across a facedown bag of Sun Chips wedged in the vending machine the other day. A copy of Sliver from the top row would have been just the thing to dislodge it.

I don’t know what the pun would be, taking suggestions

something to do with "hollow coast denial"?

Hall of cots, Dean Iles.

Yeah the best I could do on short notice might involve a university chapel being used for emergency shelter and somehow getting to "How, low cots? Dean aisle," but it would be labored at best.

How low cost, the Nile?

Hoe locust denali

Hello, Costa Niall?

(something involving my fervent search through the department store to find a polo in my son's size and the helpful clerk who points out the obvious)

Ahhhh, Lacoste teen aisle!

A french store was it

Buying a melodica with the sole intention of learning how to play select New Order and Augustus Pablo songs and nothing more.

i support this idea 100%

I mean what else is there to be done with a melodica, really?

hell yea

We should all buy melodicas when u think abt it

The only dece melodica tuneage I can think of outside of those examples is the Rome album on Thrill Jockey. The world is primed for the popularization of the melodica. I think we've found our calling.

naus you should learn how to play some ocarina of time licks, the intro to my heart will go on, and maybe some clinic songs

it's gonna be a wild thursday afternoon

(i realize it's an ocarina in ocarina of time, a pan flute in my heart will go on, and no one cares about clinic, but this is a time of great turmoil and thus great adaptation)

If there’s one thing we don’t have time for it’s embouchures and finger holes

Two things

The world is primed for the popularization of the melodica. I think we've found our calling.

You do realise you'll just end up playing tweepop festivals, right?

My cousin saw the Gorillaz a while ago and had eaten an edible beforehand. Apparently he ordered a melodica during the show and had no memory of it til the amazon box showed up.

I want to see a chart comparing melodica sales to sales of the Hooters album Nervous Night.

i recently bought a melodica from my drum teacher and now i know i am part of the new revolution
it didn't occur to me to play hooters songs on it, but i once owned a copy of nervous night now that you mention it

she was a bebop baby on a hard days night

finding the anecdote about joygoat's cousin relatable

there should be an online ordering lockout for anyone who is a little too high or drunk, but lots of terrible ideas have been helped along through the lack of such a thing

I care about clinic, Karl

Maybe not a lockout, but perhaps a customer selectable 24 hour cooldown where the retailer puts the order on hold and then messages you back asking if you really wanted to order whatever it was.

x-post - Me too! I saw them at the ICA in London in 2004 and it's still prob one of the best shows I've ever seen.

I’m 35 and my only real experience with musical instruments is making sounds on a synthesizer and sequencing notes to make one-bar loops. Can’t actually play the keys, can’t read music, and have a terrible sense of pitch. I’d actually have to practice the Melodica and I have neighbors. I was just thinking of “Your Silent Face” and how Bernard’s Melodica totally makes the song. So to buy one just to learn that would be a not-great idea.

I care about clinic, Karl

*plays intro to T.K. and lets it hang in the air*

naus, "Love Vigilantes" is another fine melodica jam btw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9BE4y-Hgao

/enabling

Yeah, and “Hurt.” I was thinking about all of those.

I think if I was sending out flyers to people I would slightly flavour them, so pets pay attention to them, or eat them. I think I would pay more attention to a shredded flyer than a whole one. Of course, maybe people already do this.

melodica update: i recorded myself playing the opening part to "love vigilantes" and sent it to my friends from high school who would recognize it
they did!
lol

i am so proud that my terrible idea has inspired you!

btw, how loud are melodicas irl? can they be played quietly?

also: do you play with the bendy-tube or direct mouthpiece?

i played it with the tube
it's not very loud, more like a flute than a bagpipe?
iirc there is not a lot of volume control though
there is also a little button on mine and idk what it does