Your PyeongChang 2018 Winter Olympics anticipation thread!

about to watch something involving a chap called Max Parrot

pronounced pa-roe

~canada~

chap called Carlos Garcia Knight just crushed his first run

as tt just said to me, some of these people have had to grow into their names by becoming snowboarders

Just watching Skiathlon makes all of my muscles hurt, god these women are machines <3

Max Parrot cruelly denied and the Yank* takes it, who knew

*just kidding y'all I love you really

Max Parrot’s qualifying performance was so good, he is so precise

We stayed up to see Medvedeva's record short program score! Spectacular stuff. tt was raving about the Israeli competitor but we hadn't yet adjusted to just how good they are nowadays

re snowstyle: Red Gerard looks like a blond version of the paperboy from Better Off Dead “GIMME MY TWO DOLLARS”

god that last round was brutal, the snow looked like concrete on those jumps, so many dudes ate it!!

Lovely night in the team figure skating for sure. Favorite performance probably the Italian pairs, that was damn fun.

Bradie Tennell had some bonkers spin moves going on

Bradie is a lovely skater but she looks like she’s kept underground, she’s so alarmingly pale lol

Medvedeva’s short program was breathtaking, just beautiful

oh god i just caught the Italian pairs
they KILLED
incredible

Gah, spoilers. I guess this is inevitable given that it's going out at 2am here. At least "the yank takes it" doesn't specify which yank... 8)

The American snowboard gear is full on NASA, space helmets and all. And I can't tell if the Canadian kit is actually knitted or just a print that looks like stitches.

The place gets only 9cm of real snow per year so it's all artificial. Which makes it very consistent but also hard.

(ah, there was only 1 American qualifier from yesterday)

Question. I don't have cable or any subscription service that will show the olympics. Should I pay $25 for Sling TV or etc so I can binge? Are there any promos that I can later cancel?

I really get into Olympics but haven't had cable for 20 years and therefore nada.

Not sure about promos, but Sling has been working well so far.

https://gfycat.com/gifs/detail/reflectingsoulfulbantamrooster'">https://thumbs.gfycat.com/ReflectingSoulfulBantamrooster-max-1mb.gif

OK NBC announcer guy, if an athlete has suffered a catastrophic injury, then they should not be competing in the Olympics again less than a year later. If in fact the injury or injuries could be accurately described as catastrophic, then said athlete would be in the Paralympics, where he or she could compete with other victims of actually catastrophic injuries.

"Multiple severe injuries" would be a better use of language that suits what you are attempting to describe. Also, fire the infobox text writer who keeps making pronoun errors.

I was just wastching women’s hockey, and the Russian team is being referred to as “Olympic Competitors from
Russia” (or something to that effect). No flag either - just Olympic Rings.

NYT as always with the most quidditious angles

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/12/08/fashion/winter-olympic-uniform-russians.html

So strange. I knew about the doping, but had no idea about the “independent particants” thing.

who is the announcer on the men's 5000m speed skating replay?

YouTube TV is free for a week. Been using that since yesterday. It’s good you can record unlimited amount of content.

i can’t watch much speed skating, the sounds their skates make on the ice makes my skin crawl

men’s biathlon was bananas - the heavy favorites ended up finishing 8th and 31st. The czech silver medallist had only podiumed once ~5 years~ ago. Bonkers.

Skiathlon was NUTS, like the best Tour De France stage you can imagine
Krueger, 7th seed, crashed at the beginning and went to the very back — makes up all his lost time & goes on to win by 11 seconds. Norway with gold silver bronze - the favorite finished in 10th.
I need a lie down!!

That was awesome

the wind has really shaken up the playing field for these events, def makes for good tv!!

The luge is decided on hatefully narrow margins. Rare bullshit Winter Olympic event imo

I mean it's visually exciting and there's a non-zero chance of death* I guess

*this probably makes it worse rather than better?

i dont get luge & i don’t like it

its basically a track event

a track event where they need a photo finish to split the first 6 competitors

track events are good though
luge is full of such micro-exertions that it’s impossible to tell who is skilled without being told

"Oh a fatal error there!" *loses by 0.02 seconds*

*loses by 0.02 seconds and finishes fifth*

And now, VG busts out her altered Fear cover: “I Don’t Care About Luge (Fuck Luge).”

Anyway while we wait

https://www.sadanduseless.com/2018/02/funny-olympic-figure-skating/

as I understand it, luge skill is about twitching in the exactly correct way in order to regain control of the sled while it and the track are conspiring to break all of your bones

the Austrian men's winner (David Gleirscher) had great comments afterwards. Apparently after yesterday he and his coach went and drank schnapps. after he won he told the press "now I go to Austria house and have to drink more schnapps."

figure skating long program is frequently like a job interview where by the answer to the 2nd question you know the person has no chance in hell of making the grade but you all still have to go through the motions for the remaining time.

man i've watched my share of adam rippon and that's as good as he's ever been.

And Mirai, holy shit. Man what an evening.

yeah she was awesome

I've realized that I want a skater to do an Olympic routine to Kiss’s “Cold Gin,” *with* a bootleg Paul Stanley live intro. Imagine:

*skater holds opening pose*

“AWRITE NOW LISSEN!”

*skater begins routine*

“I HEAR SOME OF YOU PEOPLE OUT THERE LIKE TO DRINK—“

*triple Axel*

“—*TE-QUI-LAAAAA!”

lol

Mirai’s triple axel was life affirming god that was rad

But seriously, Zagitova was next level
FIFTEEN with those moves & that poise
fuuuuuuuhuuuuuck

if i hear “shibsibs” and “vlog” in the same sentence one more time i’m gonna flip my tv UGH SHUT UP

Skating Twitter -- English language at least -- does not like Zagitova due to her backloading her jumps for points. But Tara and Johnny seemed good with it.

figure skating scoring is so wacky idk how you could blame anyone for gaming it. the main problem for ladies imo is that there are no real risk jumps other than the esoteric triple axel. everyone lands their triple-triple combos.

Question. I don't have cable or any subscription service that will show the olympics. Should I pay $25 for Sling TV or etc so I can binge? Are there any promos that I can later cancel?

I really get into Olympics but haven't had cable for 20 years and therefore nada.

Do you have a television and can you watch live in the evening? Buy an HD tuner. NBC is showing the core primetime coverage (3+ hours per night) at 5 PM and an encore at 8/8:30 PM every night (if you are in the US...). I was cord cut for many years and the basic over the air channels you get with a tuner (in full HD) were more useful for major events than I imagined.

Women’s snowstyle was intense & brutal. Holy shit, give all those women medals.
you could watch that event & never be afraid of doing anything again.