Tragic Football Stories - Let us Kick Around the misshapen Jabulani that is English football right here

ladies and gentlemen, the new England Women's team's Head Coach

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/content/dam/football/2018/01/23/Screen-Shot-2018-01-23-at-21-26-11_trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqqVzuuqpFlyLIwiB6NTmJwfSVWeZ_vEN7c6bHu2jJnT8.png?imwidth=1240

England's 23-man squad for the 2018 World Cup

Goalkeepers
Butland (Stoke), Pickford (Everton), Pope (Burnley)

Defenders
Jones (Man Utd), Cahill (Chelsea), Walker (Man City), Trippier (Tottenham), Rose (Tottenham), Alexander-Arnold (Liverpool), Young (Man Utd), Stones (Man City), Maguire (Leicester)

Midfielders
Dier (Tottenham), Henderson (Liverpool), Delph (Man City), Loftus-Cheek (Chelsea), Lingard (Man Utd), Alli (Tottenham)

Forwards
Kane (Tottenham), Rashford (Man Utd), Vardy (Leicester), Sterling (Man City), Welbeck (Arsenal)

I don't imagine too many teams will be quaking in their boots over that squad.

i feel like this shower will be no worse than some of their more feted predecessors, largely because Southgate has some modicum of tactical nous

still coming home after the group, like

there's not many of these that would make the squad for any other top 20 ranked nation

I'd still have brought Emile Heskey tbf

dunno how England will manage without the tenacious drive and enthusiasm of Wilshere

Southgate has to pray Kane keeps fit.

there is a vague air of competence about this squad/enterprise? possibly misleading. doesn't seem like an abject disaster on paper for the first time in a while anyway. expectations extremely low still, of course.

you don't have your Steven Gerrards, your John Terrys, your talismanic figures who can grab the game by the scruff of the neck and show the world exactly how terrible and overrated they are on the biggest stage. that's probably got something to do with it.

there's not many of these that would make the squad for any other top 20 ranked nation

i think a few of these lads might squeeze into the polish, peruvian, swiss, colombian or tunisian squads

i am completely suspending any sense of expectation, judgement or other critical detachment abt this england side, I'm going all in

For the nation, by the nation. The #ThreeLions’ official @FIFAWorldCup squad announcement. pic.twitter.com/YecUWPUZfJ

— England (@England) May 16, 2018

This is... something

its a good squad from whats available, decisions seem based on logic and a team/squad focus for a change

obv talent isnt good and obv press and fans mean ye'll be out asap but still.

welbeck a funny pick

Looks pretty bleak on paper once you get past the forwards. Difficult to see GK not being a massive problem again but it's not as though there's anyone else to pick.

the satisfaction here is in who he hasnt brung and why

welbeck a funny pick

Read this as 'welbeck a funny prick', thought steady on there, deems.

Also NV's original dn on this thread is genius.

was kinda hoping for a team based around Shelvey pinging long balls for Vardy and Rashford but instead he's gone for dull Spurs competency. probably the right decision.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fHcwa33I8UY

none of my teams are in the world cup (scotland are never, chile are usually, if chile aren't italy is the backup - I'm 1/16th italian mamma mia) so I'm backing england

yeah agree shelvey pinging long balls wld have been fun but i don't think many teams will play a high enough line to make it viable

(xp) No chance, I don't even like many of the players.

no wazza, no stevie g, no fat frank, no EBJT (he wasn't in the squad last time around admittedly), no joe hart. big improvement from the 3 lines

The players are so dull and anonymous this time though.

Apart from Alli, who's a dick.

Who should have gone instead of Welbeck, Ashley Barnes?

5th choice forward is not a role with an abundance of names to pick from

Shelvey definitely the most hard done by

Shelvey earns everything he doesn't get

the only interesting/long term attacking option wld have been sessegnon

Oh I don't feel bad for him or anything

Sessegnon would have just been Walcott mk 2

some low key functional competency will be a refreshing change for England altho Ray Wilson appears to have died of outrage RIP

Rashford's fairly lucky to be in there based on this season's performances tbh

so's danny rose

danny rose is lucky based on his career performances tbh

xps barnes has declared for austria iirc

think bertrand over rose and smalling over jones but dont have too much a problem with the squad

xps
RIP Ray Wilson, fucking Ingerland class of sixty-yawn and ex corpse shagging funeral director, and bloody true legend according to our lot, cos he did national service in the Middle east and the cunt only ever earned 6 pounds of rabbit lard and a threepenny bit per week. Build a statue etc ... yawn...

probably a bit harsh, but I had just read some abysmal comments by some prick who was also repping for Allardarse earlier and was at breaking point.

danny rose > ashley cole just never fit and seems to have his personality

not sure what I can do in the face of such an opinion other than FP

I like bertrand but rose has looked v good in the past and looks to have a higher ceiling. he's mb coming back into form now

pep guardiola has cost england a wc final

his fraudulent pretence that walker, stones and sterling (surrounded as they are by genuine class in a working system) are in any way good at their actual jobs put southgate in an impossible decision.

southgate should nonetheless have picked his best centre halves but you can see how that is a tough ask

sterling was prob always going to play but as the tournament progressed its clearer and clearer that he is a bad footballer without an actual position.

twenty tapins is fuck all use to an england team that doesnt set up tapins and where it takes seventy tapin chances to score him

if southgate learns from this and sticks to basic "pick best players in best formation" this could be a very good platform.

Trippier too good to drop, Walker too expensive. Tbf to Pep, he has only started Walker in a three twice.

Pep couldn't even be bothered keeping up the pretence with Stones

after that mandzukic goal he'll be known as standing stones wha

Walker and Sterling were both great tonight, it was the footballers around them who weren't up to scratch. Put a Modric or Eriksen or KDB in there and they'd be world beaters, but no such English player exists.

All of England's problems now lie in central midfield but this has all been hugely encouraging.

idk where youre getting that first statement, matt.

i dont think englands centre backs have had much to do all tournament and when it was time for them to withstand some pressure, they didnt.

both goals were errors, walker involved in each- i dont think thats just my prejudices (which only exist because he is bad at just this stuff- concentration and not making errors) talking.

admittedly its a managerial error to out him at cb, tho the argument that his pace is the reason might have some merit.

having both he and trippier defending deep crosses is a major issue tho, and under two high balls tonight that showed.

stones being left for dead by mandzukic, tho, jesus.

Hard to see how putting I dunno Smalling or Cahill or ShawX in there would have helped.

too easy to say that theyd have won both headers! but even in the first half walker and stones were blind/short passing themselves into trouble.

theres more than maguire had earned a shot in a 3 and theyre ahead of the lads in your post above on merit (even just on the merit of havent been proven not to work, at least).

dyou think dele was a) injured all tournament or b) is not very good lately, and especially without eg eriksen?

not sure england alli is england level tbh.

There were plenty of occasions last night where Walker was there, outpacing the Croatia attackers and able to get to the ball ahead of them, snuffing out the attack in the process. I thought the back three in general moved the ball around well under pressure and helped turn defence into attack. Its significant that England didn't really resort to just lumping it upfield at any point.

We needed high ball playing defenders because what England transparently lack are central midfielders capable of moving the ball around quickly under pressure and really controlling the game, let alone a playmaker or anyone capable of playing a really incisive final pass. An energetic but limited player like Henderson was hopelessly overworked and I don't think Alli had a very good tournament.

Sterling's final ball was often bad but he was England's best attacking outlet and they were blunted when he went off. Croatia were struggling to deal with him.