your terrible ideas

I always think about the Dollar Tree cashier, standing there all day going "That'll be $2.14. $7.49 please. Just $1.07. You don't have change?"

― pplains, Thursday, April 2, 2015 8:29 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Reading any ILX film thread

So, let's say, like, you don't have any lubricant and you needs some. Maybe sexual lubricant. Maybe olive oil. Maybe motor oil. Maybe some niche industrial machine lubricant.

There's an app for that. It's... LUBER

https://i.imgur.com/Sa3H8Ng.png

I should start posting more .png's.

Figured this was the appropriate thread to announce that.

pleasant.png

fnarrr oki loled

connected health device: it's for autoerotic asphyxiation, but it monitors your vitals and releases you if you actually pass out

Confirmed. Terrible idea.

I call it the Mulder

Lives could be saved, Jeff.

Unless... disconnecting the monitor causes the sexual arousal to go up. Then lives could be doomed, I guess.

I mean, people who hadn’t considered it might think, “wow, now that it’s safe, might as well give it a whirl” but I mostly don’t want the fictional man from the X-Files to die

A one-man show featuring my middling impersonations of tertiary characters from TV's Dallas.

(NB, my every attempt to convince someone to watch Dallas has been unsuccessful.)

a messaging app specifically designed around the needs of the polyamorous - customize settings so that for example, on mutually agreed upon days one partner's messages don't vibrate, permitting you to give your full attention to the person you're on a date with tonight. i call it... PolyPhony.

I heartily endorse any product whose function is clearly an afterthought cobbled together to justify a clever name.

pole your phriends, then phone them back!

A chip and dip brand called "Blockchip" with a superficial and indeterminite crypto-currency theme. The slogan is "Buy the Dip"

poll what month and year will ilxors stop making a new monthly usa politics thread

July 2021

The Bechdel-Turing Test: when two women talk to each other on screen, can you tell if one of them is a bot?

lol

haha

A parody of 'Fifty Shades of Gray' for watersports fans, called 'Fifty Shades of Yellow'.

O_o

Is the antagonist's name Mr. Yellow? Otherwise, I don't get it.

That's exactly right.

A Disney animated Blaxploitation film about Eastern philosophy.

'FroZen.

The other day while falling asleep I had a weird desire to start some sort of mandela effect / collective false memory hoax that Parliament-Funkadelic was once on one of those Scooby Doo episodes with animated guest starts. Like they all traveled around in the Mothership, there would be lots of hilarious Bootsy catchphrases with canned laughter afterwards, a wacky montage where they chase the villain around while playing Give Up The Funk, etc.

i'd totally watch an entire series of cartoons starring the p-funk gang tbh, like the ones they had for new kids on the block or the harlem globetrotters

Seriously, joygoat, your idea would only qualify as terrible if Casey Kasum was hired to do all of their voices.

There are unofficial pfunk cartoons on YouTube. Drawing quality looks quite good, not sure about the content.

A mirror image All in the Family featuring an aging liberal archie bunker in Trump's America. Can't really conceptualize what it would be like beyond that basic premise.

that is indeed a horrible one

Musical act that is a Kraftwerk homage ans also sells mattresses: Kraftmatik

Opening a chain of low-cost blowout salons that accept walk-ins, all located very near DMVs for vain people who just want to looks slightly better in their drivers license photos.

(Maybe that's not so terrible. Consider the above post my "poor man's patent.")

You have to put “DO NOT STEAL”

Maximum Overdrive remake. Hell, they could actually start the movie with a realistic angle now that self-driving trucks are a reality. However it would be a waste of a good killer truck movie if they don’t crank up the loonyness halfway through.

Mobius Wrap, a baby wrap that is also a mobius strip. You can just slide the baby in and out without taking off the wrap.

Hospitals/Clinics in the US where you can rent different types of rooms/equipment by the hour so you can sort out your own medical issues.

Write a dead-tree travel guide

Morbius Rap, a genre of music

lol my Moby wrap does actually feel like a mobius wrap most times

Two of my bad ideas suggested here!

A mirror image All in the Family featuring an aging liberal archie bunker in Trump's America. Can't really conceptualize what it would be like beyond that basic premise.

I've tried to explain this too, and still can't quite explain what I'm talking about:

Ha, I haven't been able to think of a way to phrase this:

But listening to songs like "Ain't Nobody Leaving!" where he brags about having a mixed-race nephew - He's gorgeous! - AIN'T NOBODY LEAVING. I mean, even in 1991, I would've figured most people's reactions to a kid like that would be "so?"

I keep having this thought of some 90s alternative rocker like Perry Ferrell telling people today, "Yeah, man! You gotta RECYCLE more, stop RACISM, let GAY PEOPLE wear a DRESS if they wanna..." and the reporter going "Wear a DRESS?"

― pplains, Monday, October 21, 2013 11:10 AM

"I mean, if a chick wants to call herself JEFF, who cares? AIN'T NOBODY LEAVING."

And this one was too easy:

Maximum Overdrive remake. Hell, they could actually start the movie with a realistic angle now that self-driving trucks are a reality. However it would be a waste of a good killer truck movie if they don’t crank up the loonyness halfway through.

"It's 'Maximum Overdrive' meets 'Smokey & The Ban—"
"HERE! Just take the money, all of it!" https://t.co/okuGtL6SKt

— Tre Baker (@tre_baker) October 26, 2016

A shaggy dog story where the punchline is a pun on “Holocaust denial”

I don’t know what the pun would be, taking suggestions

The one thing I retained from the dream I woke up from this morning was a vending machine, like the kind you'd find in a break room with the spiral thingy which sometimes dispenses snacks and sometimes malfunctions and pins your snack against the glass. One of those machines which dispenses, y'know, Sun Chips and Skittles and packs of gum and also DVD copies of the Sharon Stone vehicle Sliver.

Oh man, I came across a facedown bag of Sun Chips wedged in the vending machine the other day. A copy of Sliver from the top row would have been just the thing to dislodge it.

I don’t know what the pun would be, taking suggestions

something to do with "hollow coast denial"?

Hall of cots, Dean Iles.