Man I'd love to be an accountant there.
https://i.imgur.com/54e5kGj.jpg
― pplains, Wednesday, 17 January 2018 18:02 (six years ago) link
I always think about the Dollar Tree cashier, standing there all day going "That'll be $2.14. $7.49 please. Just $1.07. You don't have change?"
― pplains, Thursday, April 2, 2015 8:29 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― pplains, Wednesday, 17 January 2018 18:03 (six years ago) link
Reading any ILX film thread
― The Spilling of a Sacred Beer (latebloomer), Sunday, 28 January 2018 22:13 (six years ago) link
So, let's say, like, you don't have any lubricant and you needs some. Maybe sexual lubricant. Maybe olive oil. Maybe motor oil. Maybe some niche industrial machine lubricant.
There's an app for that. It's... LUBER
― Tippi Sanhedrin (Ye Mad Puffin), Monday, 29 January 2018 01:11 (six years ago) link
https://i.imgur.com/Sa3H8Ng.png
― pplains, Monday, 29 January 2018 01:45 (six years ago) link
I should start posting more .png's.
Figured this was the appropriate thread to announce that.
― pplains, Monday, 29 January 2018 01:46 (six years ago) link
pleasant.png
― gr8080, Monday, 29 January 2018 19:21 (six years ago) link
fnarrr oki loled
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 29 January 2018 19:38 (six years ago) link
connected health device: it's for autoerotic asphyxiation, but it monitors your vitals and releases you if you actually pass out
― mh, Tuesday, 30 January 2018 01:35 (six years ago) link
Confirmed. Terrible idea.
― Jeff, Tuesday, 30 January 2018 01:37 (six years ago) link
I call it the Mulder
― mh, Tuesday, 30 January 2018 01:40 (six years ago) link
Lives could be saved, Jeff.
Unless... disconnecting the monitor causes the sexual arousal to go up. Then lives could be doomed, I guess.
― pplains, Tuesday, 30 January 2018 01:45 (six years ago) link
I mean, people who hadn’t considered it might think, “wow, now that it’s safe, might as well give it a whirl” but I mostly don’t want the fictional man from the X-Files to die
― mh, Tuesday, 30 January 2018 01:56 (six years ago) link
A one-man show featuring my middling impersonations of tertiary characters from TV's Dallas.
(NB, my every attempt to convince someone to watch Dallas has been unsuccessful.)
― Senior Soft-Serve Tech at the Froyo Arroyo (Old Lunch), Thursday, 1 February 2018 13:14 (six years ago) link
a messaging app specifically designed around the needs of the polyamorous - customize settings so that for example, on mutually agreed upon days one partner's messages don't vibrate, permitting you to give your full attention to the person you're on a date with tonight. i call it... PolyPhony.
― Righteous wax chaperone, rotating Wingdings (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 1 February 2018 14:16 (six years ago) link
I heartily endorse any product whose function is clearly an afterthought cobbled together to justify a clever name.
― Senior Soft-Serve Tech at the Froyo Arroyo (Old Lunch), Thursday, 1 February 2018 14:22 (six years ago) link
pole your phriends, then phone them back!
― Righteous wax chaperone, rotating Wingdings (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 1 February 2018 18:17 (six years ago) link
A chip and dip brand called "Blockchip" with a superficial and indeterminite crypto-currency theme. The slogan is "Buy the Dip"
― IF (Terrorist) Yes, Explain (man alive), Thursday, 1 February 2018 19:11 (six years ago) link
poll what month and year will ilxors stop making a new monthly usa politics thread
― infinity (∞), Thursday, 1 February 2018 19:14 (six years ago) link
July 2021
― direct to consumer online mattress brand (silby), Thursday, 1 February 2018 20:18 (six years ago) link
The Bechdel-Turing Test: when two women talk to each other on screen, can you tell if one of them is a bot?
― Fedora Dostoyevsky (man alive), Monday, 5 February 2018 21:15 (six years ago) link
lol
― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Tuesday, 6 February 2018 17:54 (six years ago) link
haha
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 6 February 2018 19:42 (six years ago) link
A parody of 'Fifty Shades of Gray' for watersports fans, called 'Fifty Shades of Yellow'.
― 2018 has to be better (snoball), Saturday, 10 February 2018 18:19 (six years ago) link
O_o
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 10 February 2018 18:44 (six years ago) link
Is the antagonist's name Mr. Yellow? Otherwise, I don't get it.
― pplains, Saturday, 10 February 2018 21:07 (six years ago) link
That's exactly right.
― 2018 has to be better (snoball), Sunday, 11 February 2018 11:35 (six years ago) link
A Disney animated Blaxploitation film about Eastern philosophy.
'FroZen.
― I'm walking on Sondheim (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, 15 February 2018 03:58 (six years ago) link
The other day while falling asleep I had a weird desire to start some sort of mandela effect / collective false memory hoax that Parliament-Funkadelic was once on one of those Scooby Doo episodes with animated guest starts. Like they all traveled around in the Mothership, there would be lots of hilarious Bootsy catchphrases with canned laughter afterwards, a wacky montage where they chase the villain around while playing Give Up The Funk, etc.
― joygoat, Thursday, 15 February 2018 16:02 (six years ago) link
i'd totally watch an entire series of cartoons starring the p-funk gang tbh, like the ones they had for new kids on the block or the harlem globetrotters
― albondigas con gas (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 15 February 2018 16:05 (six years ago) link
Seriously, joygoat, your idea would only qualify as terrible if Casey Kasum was hired to do all of their voices.
― I Wanna Be A Door (Old Lunch), Friday, 16 February 2018 00:09 (six years ago) link
There are unofficial pfunk cartoons on YouTube. Drawing quality looks quite good, not sure about the content.
― koogs, Friday, 16 February 2018 04:23 (six years ago) link
A mirror image All in the Family featuring an aging liberal archie bunker in Trump's America. Can't really conceptualize what it would be like beyond that basic premise.
― Fedora Dostoyevsky (man alive), Monday, 26 February 2018 04:12 (six years ago) link
that is indeed a horrible one
― mh, Monday, 26 February 2018 15:28 (six years ago) link
Musical act that is a Kraftwerk homage ans also sells mattresses: Kraftmatik
― mh, Tuesday, 27 February 2018 00:09 (six years ago) link
Opening a chain of low-cost blowout salons that accept walk-ins, all located very near DMVs for vain people who just want to looks slightly better in their drivers license photos.
― naus, Tuesday, 27 February 2018 06:49 (six years ago) link
(Maybe that's not so terrible. Consider the above post my "poor man's patent.")
― naus, Tuesday, 27 February 2018 06:51 (six years ago) link
You have to put “DO NOT STEAL”
― direct to consumer online mattress brand (silby), Tuesday, 27 February 2018 06:52 (six years ago) link
Maximum Overdrive remake. Hell, they could actually start the movie with a realistic angle now that self-driving trucks are a reality. However it would be a waste of a good killer truck movie if they don’t crank up the loonyness halfway through.
― Woon... Doopee Time (FlopsyDuck), Tuesday, 27 February 2018 21:47 (six years ago) link
Mobius Wrap, a baby wrap that is also a mobius strip. You can just slide the baby in and out without taking off the wrap.
― Fedora Dostoyevsky (man alive), Saturday, 3 March 2018 19:36 (six years ago) link
Hospitals/Clinics in the US where you can rent different types of rooms/equipment by the hour so you can sort out your own medical issues.
― Yerac, Saturday, 3 March 2018 19:45 (six years ago) link
Write a dead-tree travel guide
― Moo Vaughn, Saturday, 3 March 2018 19:51 (six years ago) link
Morbius Rap, a genre of music
― El Tomboto, Saturday, 3 March 2018 19:54 (six years ago) link
lol my Moby wrap does actually feel like a mobius wrap most times
― kinder, Sunday, 4 March 2018 06:09 (six years ago) link
Two of my bad ideas suggested here!
I've tried to explain this too, and still can't quite explain what I'm talking about:
Ha, I haven't been able to think of a way to phrase this:
But listening to songs like "Ain't Nobody Leaving!" where he brags about having a mixed-race nephew - He's gorgeous! - AIN'T NOBODY LEAVING. I mean, even in 1991, I would've figured most people's reactions to a kid like that would be "so?"
I keep having this thought of some 90s alternative rocker like Perry Ferrell telling people today, "Yeah, man! You gotta RECYCLE more, stop RACISM, let GAY PEOPLE wear a DRESS if they wanna..." and the reporter going "Wear a DRESS?"
― pplains, Monday, October 21, 2013 11:10 AM
"I mean, if a chick wants to call herself JEFF, who cares? AIN'T NOBODY LEAVING."
― pplains, Tuesday, 6 March 2018 15:54 (six years ago) link
And this one was too easy:
"It's 'Maximum Overdrive' meets 'Smokey & The Ban—""HERE! Just take the money, all of it!" https://t.co/okuGtL6SKt— Tre Baker (@tre_baker) October 26, 2016
A shaggy dog story where the punchline is a pun on “Holocaust denial”I don’t know what the pun would be, taking suggestions
― valorous wokelord (silby), Tuesday, 6 March 2018 15:58 (six years ago) link
The one thing I retained from the dream I woke up from this morning was a vending machine, like the kind you'd find in a break room with the spiral thingy which sometimes dispenses snacks and sometimes malfunctions and pins your snack against the glass. One of those machines which dispenses, y'know, Sun Chips and Skittles and packs of gum and also DVD copies of the Sharon Stone vehicle Sliver.
― I'm not meltdown. (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 6 March 2018 16:04 (six years ago) link
Oh man, I came across a facedown bag of Sun Chips wedged in the vending machine the other day. A copy of Sliver from the top row would have been just the thing to dislodge it.
― how's life, Tuesday, 6 March 2018 16:15 (six years ago) link
I don’t know what the pun would be, taking suggestions
something to do with "hollow coast denial"?
― Under the influence of the Ranters (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 6 March 2018 16:25 (six years ago) link