Real England

Message Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed
Not all messages are displayed: show all messages (4639 of them)

Mr Mullins, a leading Brexiteer.

I'm not sure this is true btw, he financed Gina Miller's Article 50 court case after all.

Whiney Houston (Tom D.), Wednesday, 17 January 2018 13:03 (six years ago) link

I actually don't think the silly tosser is a complete cunt tbf.

Whiney Houston (Tom D.), Wednesday, 17 January 2018 13:03 (six years ago) link

as long as he can write it off against tax I don't suppose he's bothered

hell is auteur people (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 17 January 2018 13:04 (six years ago) link

Obviously, he's a businessman, being a cunt comes with the territory.

Whiney Houston (Tom D.), Wednesday, 17 January 2018 13:05 (six years ago) link

He's definitely a stout Remoaner is our Charlie, amongst many other -er words.

calzino, Wednesday, 17 January 2018 13:06 (six years ago) link

To be fair to him, he is a Remainer, nevertheless with the hair of a Wellend.

I highly doubt Pimlico Plumbers will be in hock to anyone - friends who have used them report that their approach to getting paid resembles ‘card machine in the private ambulance’.

kim jong deal (suzy), Wednesday, 17 January 2018 13:07 (six years ago) link

On big-time contracts with any of the Construction behemoths they often hold back payments for absolutely ages, which often leaves the smaller businesses running on fumes and racking up massive debts with suppliers. But of course Pimlico Plumbing, best fucking plumbing outfit ever and nobody fucks with them! Pay them upfront before I have to look at his melted face again!

calzino, Wednesday, 17 January 2018 13:23 (six years ago) link

that hair is more 80s rod stewart than weller imo xp

faust apes (NickB), Wednesday, 17 January 2018 13:24 (six years ago) link

are they any good though? feel if they're just a high-pressure cowboy chain then this gives the customer handy invisible revenge

mark s, Wednesday, 17 January 2018 13:26 (six years ago) link

do you ever tune into this calz?

http://www.recognitionpr.co.uk/clients/id/21020

faust apes (NickB), Wednesday, 17 January 2018 13:28 (six years ago) link

My friend J has used them a couple of times, both for emergencies and refurbs because he can’t be arsed with the hemming and hawing of local firms plus coaxing them to turn up. Good work, but ridiculously expensive.

kim jong deal (suzy), Wednesday, 17 January 2018 13:38 (six years ago) link

xp
coming up: Toolbox. Well that sounds absolutely riveting! Just had a quick listen and it's basically an even more primordial Talksport with MOR playlist.

calzino, Wednesday, 17 January 2018 13:41 (six years ago) link

I'd imagine what helps the PP brand is that they'll offer steady reliable daylight robbery upfront, as opposed to variable "oh dear, this will cost much more now I'm afraid guv" type practice.

calzino, Wednesday, 17 January 2018 13:46 (six years ago) link

either way i can't imagine their client base are going to be his most eager voters

mark s, Wednesday, 17 January 2018 13:55 (six years ago) link

that was exactly my experience with them, per my "most expensive toilet in britain" story related elsewhere in this wilderness

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 17 January 2018 14:20 (six years ago) link

Pimlico 2nd paragraph on the front/homepage

"Charlie had a vision then to remove the stigma associated with the plumbing industry i.e plumbers with bad workmanship, who turn up late, rip off the customer, driving rusty old vans, not wearing uniform and arse's hanging out their trousers."

Not sure what's worse; the idea that workmen generally have arses hanging out or did, the use of the word arses on a homepage of a business or the misplaced apostrophe.

piscesx, Wednesday, 17 January 2018 15:06 (six years ago) link

Not quite the leader of the free world calling some countries shitholes but not that far off it.

Whiney Houston (Tom D.), Wednesday, 17 January 2018 15:50 (six years ago) link

When I was doing my electrical qualifications, there used to be an asbestos awareness poster in the corridor that said something like: x amount of Plumbers die from Mesothelioma every year. And some leccy wag had defaced it with: and they were all shite.

calzino, Wednesday, 17 January 2018 16:09 (six years ago) link

The lecturer whose job it was to impress the importance of us having some level of scientific competence, like transposing power equations and ohm's law and all that shit. He used always say: if you are too thick to learn this stuff, you might as well fuck off to the mechanical side and be a plumber.

calzino, Wednesday, 17 January 2018 16:20 (six years ago) link

And then walk down to London with a cat in tow and become mayor.

Whiney Houston (Tom D.), Wednesday, 17 January 2018 16:22 (six years ago) link

http://www.worcesternews.co.uk/resources/images/3435089/

'ere we are puss, where the streets are paved wiv gold and the tradespeople walk around with their arses hangin out ov their traaaasers

faust apes (NickB), Wednesday, 17 January 2018 16:27 (six years ago) link

two weeks pass...

amazing that this one joke account has been going for over a year

https://twitter.com/BestTraveI

ogmor, Monday, 5 February 2018 16:18 (six years ago) link

It is a good joke though. Well, the Wigan Pier one made me laugh.

Dan Worsley, Monday, 5 February 2018 16:25 (six years ago) link

obviously cheddar man is good now, but, just seven years ago: "cheddar cave dwellers ate their dead and turned their skulls into cups"

mark s, Wednesday, 7 February 2018 09:44 (six years ago) link

Others went further: should you drink only the skull, or the whole head? The Belgian chemist Jean Baptiste Van Helmont believed that you should allow the brain matter to dissolve into the skull, which – nicely marinaded over time – then absorbed the body's vital powers. And if you balked at this, you could still use a kind of moss found on unburied skulls. Usually powdered, this was thrust into the nostrils of those suffering nosebleeds: Robert Boyle, among others, swore by it. Such treatments – part of a widespread tradition of "medicinal cannibalism" using flesh, fat, blood and bone – were so popular that come the 18th century, there were customs duties on skulls imported from the battlefields of Ireland.

calzino, Wednesday, 7 February 2018 09:50 (six years ago) link

I notice some dim fascists are horrified by cheddar, and others are like: it proves race is a social construct and racism is just made up etc...

calzino, Wednesday, 7 February 2018 09:52 (six years ago) link

"To us they can still seem a little strange,” said Bello. “I wouldn’t have my cereal in one.”

look, if it's clean what's the problem? hate a finicky eater

drugs don't kill people, poppers do (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 7 February 2018 10:07 (six years ago) link

Yes, bung your oat drink in there, what's the problem?

Video reach stereo bog (Tom D.), Wednesday, 7 February 2018 10:22 (six years ago) link

moffe growing vpon the skull of a man

i gotta be a gazpacho man (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 7 February 2018 10:45 (six years ago) link

cheddar
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
powered moss
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
. gammon >:(

mark s, Wednesday, 7 February 2018 11:04 (six years ago) link

The Gammoning

"oh no my cheds" man had dark to black packet (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 7 February 2018 11:05 (six years ago) link

pitch for an Altered Statesesque movie where psychedelic green moss turns civilized Cheddar-based dark-skinned scientist into gammon-hued throwback that attacks anybody that looks like a Remoaner

"oh no my cheds" man had dark to black packet (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 7 February 2018 11:12 (six years ago) link

And talks with a Yorkshire accent.

Video reach stereo bog (Tom D.), Wednesday, 7 February 2018 11:15 (six years ago) link

Casting suggestions?

Video reach stereo bog (Tom D.), Wednesday, 7 February 2018 11:16 (six years ago) link

it's a shame Brian Glover is no longer with us. Warren Clarke?

Thomas NAGL (Neil S), Wednesday, 7 February 2018 11:18 (six years ago) link

He's no longer with us either :(

Video reach stereo bog (Tom D.), Wednesday, 7 February 2018 11:20 (six years ago) link

oh blimey I didn't know that!

Thomas NAGL (Neil S), Wednesday, 7 February 2018 11:22 (six years ago) link

the answer is leigh francis

(the list of actors born in yorkshire is counterintuitive: http://www.imdb.com/list/ls050172369/)

mark s, Wednesday, 7 February 2018 11:23 (six years ago) link

He could play both parts.

Video reach stereo bog (Tom D.), Wednesday, 7 February 2018 11:24 (six years ago) link

Patrick Stewart comes from a true Gammon nebula aka Mirfield. But he doesn't even cut it as bacon!

calzino, Wednesday, 7 February 2018 11:38 (six years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DU-yXAXz4DI

mark s, Wednesday, 7 February 2018 11:52 (six years ago) link

I reckon Mark Addy could gammon up

"oh no my cheds" man had dark to black packet (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 7 February 2018 11:53 (six years ago) link

pete postlethwaite would have been a shoo-in

i gotta be a gazpacho man (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 7 February 2018 13:29 (six years ago) link

A suspected drug dealer who hid a stash of Class A drugs inside his body when he was arrested has been in custody for three weeks because he refuses to go to the toilet, police have said.

https://news.sky.com/story/police-on-poo-watch-over-drug-suspects-loo-strike-11240262

Le Bateau Ivre, Wednesday, 7 February 2018 21:12 (six years ago) link

3 flags flying high in a Featherstone garden this morning. Union Jack, Confederate Flag, Leeds United flag

anvil, Monday, 12 February 2018 07:56 (six years ago) link

charming

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Monday, 12 February 2018 08:10 (six years ago) link

I wouldn't underestimate the anti-abolitionist pro-Trump demographic in Wakey and wouldn't be surprised if they were Leeds fans as well.

calzino, Monday, 12 February 2018 08:26 (six years ago) link

I've now realised garden number one was Union Jack + Leeds United, and garden number two had the Confederate

Although the slim possibility that it might actually have been the flag of Novorossiya has now come to mind

anvil, Monday, 12 February 2018 08:46 (six years ago) link

There is a someone in Mirfield with a Welsh flag hoisted up on 20ft flagpole. It doesn't look weather-beaten so they obv take good care of it. "brb I forgot to raise my flag this morning"

calzino, Monday, 12 February 2018 08:51 (six years ago) link


You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.