I wear a name tag whenever I go to a bar
― Choco Blavatsky (seandalai), Sunday, 7 January 2018 20:34 (six years ago) link
I have a couple places where my wife and I are regulars, I know all the bartenders' named and they know ours, but none of us ever use them.
― Monster fatberg (Phil D.), Sunday, 7 January 2018 20:36 (six years ago) link
Just in case there’s a customer enamored with you (yeah but no), never invite your SO to the bar
― June Pointer’s Valentine’s Day Secret Admirer Note Author (calstars), Friday, 12 January 2018 22:19 (six years ago) link
When an old regular comes in after a hiatus, buy the first round. Or the third.
― calstars, Monday, 23 July 2018 20:13 (five years ago) link
- Establish a first name basis ASAP- emphasize in conversation what you have in common with the barfly- give equal facetime to everyone at the bar
― calstars, Sunday, 12 August 2018 02:51 (five years ago) link
- Establish a first name basis ASAP
erm...
Never ask a customer’s name. But be ready to provide yours.
― calstars, Saturday, January 6, 2018 10:47 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Sunday, 12 August 2018 03:30 (five years ago) link
there are ways to solicit information without asking
providing your own name, or making enough small talk that someone gives their name works well
if you've made enough small talk, you can give your name again like "hey, I'm Travis, I work here wednesdays and saturdays, it's been nice talking to you"
if they don't introduce themselves at that point you've failed rapport
― mh, Sunday, 12 August 2018 03:47 (five years ago) link
never visibly react negatively to something the customer says in a neutral or positive way, unless you have a good rapport and it's part of a real conversation
for instance, if you see someone who was a longtime regular and he says "hey, I'm gonna have a kid!" do not mumble "jesus christ" and wander off disgustedly
― mh, Sunday, 12 August 2018 03:50 (five years ago) link
"my wife just died"
"oh, congratulations!!!"
― fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Sunday, 12 August 2018 03:55 (five years ago) link
I have a lot of "don'ts" from a longtime bartender around town but I won't do them all at once
the best part was that he had (has?) a blog where he recounted stories and in half of them he seems horrible. and it's not a shtick, he really does act like that
― mh, Sunday, 12 August 2018 04:00 (five years ago) link
I personally don't love it when bartender asks for my name.
Some qualifiers, though. I might make an exception when it's done _instead_ of swiping or keeping a credit card. That seems kind of homey and nice and trusting.
In most places, they have to put _something_ in the system to keep tabs separate. I'd rather have the check say "Patrick" than "weird guy at end of bar."
― Your momma is so ethically praiseworthy (Ye Mad Puffin), Sunday, 12 August 2018 12:39 (five years ago) link
Yeah sometimes it’s a good idea to ask (from the bartender’s POV) and sometimes not. Wrote that yesterday though when I was getting along well with a new bartender and her giving her name and asking mine probably swayed toward having another round there
― calstars, Sunday, 12 August 2018 18:09 (five years ago) link
I hasten to note that in a lot of places it's probably not the bartender's choice, but rather his or her manager.
I don't think my local barkeep is personally thinking "Wow, that enigmatic yet weirdly handsome guy with the glasses who does advanced crossword puzzles while getting sloshed alone is extremely compelling. How I wish I knew his name!"
More likely the decree comes down from management or corporate, saying "EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY, ALL BAR STAFF WILL INTRODUCE THEMSELVES, SHAKE HANDS, AND ASK THE PATRON'S NAME."
― leica bridge over troubled cameras (Ye Mad Puffin), Sunday, 12 August 2018 18:15 (five years ago) link
Like Barbershop
― fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Sunday, 12 August 2018 19:23 (five years ago) link
If there’s a group sitting at a table, instead of waiting for them to order rounds at bar, clear their empties and take the next orders. Keep them drinking.
― calstars, Wednesday, 20 February 2019 23:14 (five years ago) link
So these vertical IDs for minors these days, c or d
― calstars, Saturday, 20 July 2019 19:22 (four years ago) link
makes sense
― alomar lines, Saturday, 20 July 2019 20:36 (four years ago) link
When you run out of music to play, put on Mothership Connection
― calstars, Friday, 2 August 2019 01:36 (four years ago) link
Serve a group before a single
― calstars, Saturday, 28 September 2019 02:59 (four years ago) link
A cig is the perfect break
― calstars, Sunday, 29 September 2019 00:39 (four years ago) link
When serving, if possible, set the glass down on the bar with an audible “pop.” This augments the overall auditory experience of the customer and is a reminder of the impending rush of pleasure, potentially leading to a larger tip
― calstars, Sunday, 20 October 2019 01:35 (four years ago) link
calma starstra
― Tart Prepper (Sufjan Grafton), Sunday, 20 October 2019 02:18 (four years ago) link
"What's your name?" should only follow "Wanna start a tab?"
― pplains, Sunday, 20 October 2019 02:37 (four years ago) link
If you sense a new patron is impatient or irritable, take his payment when you take his order. That will dissuade him from bolting while you’re pouring or otherwise engaged, leaving you one down on the count.
― June Pointer’s Valentine’s Day Secret Admirer Note Author (calstars), Sunday, 3 November 2019 18:47 (four years ago) link
How garrulous to be ? Pluses and minuses on both sides. I think overall if you’re talkative and boisterous it’s to the benefit of the bottom line
― calstars, Sunday, 1 December 2019 03:44 (four years ago) link
― brimstead, Sunday, 1 December 2019 05:21 (four years ago) link
Well alright!
― calstars, Sunday, 1 December 2019 14:30 (four years ago) link
according to this thread, bars in the US are so far removed from the UK the experience is unrecognisable
― YOU CALL THIS JOURNALSIM? (dog latin), Monday, 2 December 2019 19:27 (four years ago) link
American drinking culture is pretty shit
― brimstead, Monday, 2 December 2019 19:56 (four years ago) link
How so?
― pomenitul, Monday, 2 December 2019 19:58 (four years ago) link
calstars is a sui generis bar-room oddball
― #FBPIRA (jim in vancouver), Monday, 2 December 2019 19:58 (four years ago) link
I never go to the clubbier/packed bars in my area but ended up in one for a friend's birthday. I couldn't quite hear what the upgrade was when I ordered a round (two beers, two mixed drinks) but for $1 per drink, I figured whatever it was would be fine, so I nodded.
It turned out it was "your second drink is a dollar" and I was presented with eight drinks. I tipped $4, which seems... fine?
― mh, Monday, 2 December 2019 20:13 (four years ago) link
I also quickly figured out why I've seen so many people incoherently stumbling out of that place at relatively early hours
― mh, Monday, 2 December 2019 20:14 (four years ago) link
wow
― terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 2 December 2019 20:17 (four years ago) link
wow x2
in Oregon they have a rule about how much actual alcohol you can order at once, e.g. you can't get a 2 oz bourbon sampler plus a full pint of beer, gotta dial that beer down to a beer back order.
― sleeve, Monday, 2 December 2019 20:19 (four years ago) link
the owner of said bar used to have a place that would charge cover and then have a "penny pitchers" special in the early evening
the bar was surprisingly less objectionable than I expected, but very much in the "slap a new coat of paint on and change the place's name when business dies down" vein
― mh, Monday, 2 December 2019 20:39 (four years ago) link
In a market system bars will both respond to customers' wishes _and_ shape their expectations. I am not defending this system, but merely observing it phenomenologically.
Do I sometimes wish there were introvert bars with privacy shields on either side and cunningly selective speaker systems that could pipe specific music or infotainment to each patron? Sure.
In the meantime I go to bars when I am okay with being in a bar. (This is true both in the US and the UK.) When I want to curate the experience to my taste, I stay home and fuckin curate the experience.
― they see me lollin' (Ye Mad Puffin), Tuesday, 3 December 2019 02:02 (four years ago) link
otm
― Sam Weller, Tuesday, 3 December 2019 09:49 (four years ago) link
I sometimes wonder what Americans make of service in bars in (for example) Dublin where it’s unremarkable for barmen to appear resentful at having to interact with patrons in any way.
― 29 facepalms, Tuesday, 3 December 2019 10:12 (four years ago) link
Right. I'm not used to bartenders talking to me beyond 'Can I help you?' and 'That's £10.40 please' unless I actually know them as a friend.
― YOU CALL THIS JOURNALSIM? (dog latin), Tuesday, 3 December 2019 10:18 (four years ago) link
Flavourful 6%+ craft beer is easier to come by in North America therefore North American bars are inarguably superior.
― pomenitul, Tuesday, 3 December 2019 10:21 (four years ago) link
The worst pubs piss all over the worst bars though.
― pomenitul, Tuesday, 3 December 2019 10:22 (four years ago) link
I can’t put my finger on why it seems wrong to turn bar tending into an arm of the customer service industry. I’ve been buying pints off lads for 15 years and it wouldn’t cross my mind to ask them their name.
― 29 facepalms, Tuesday, 3 December 2019 10:22 (four years ago) link
way to ruin getting pissed, The US ;-)
― YOU CALL THIS JOURNALSIM? (dog latin), Tuesday, 3 December 2019 10:27 (four years ago) link
If getting pissed is the goal, one can just buy a fifth of bourbon and nurse it all morning in one's own armchair while reading the collected stories of Somerset Maugham.
Going to a pub or bar is different, and should be.
― they see me lollin' (Ye Mad Puffin), Tuesday, 3 December 2019 12:42 (four years ago) link
I’m a regular at a handful of cocktail bars in my area of the U.S. and they tend to take customer service very seriously—their goal isn’t just to make you drinks, but to groom your whole experience. I actually love it, and can always count on them to read whether I’m trying to shoot the shit or just have them leave me alone so I can dick around on my phone and have something boozy.
― unashamed and trash (Unctious), Tuesday, 3 December 2019 13:39 (four years ago) link
If the bar serves pints in multiple sizes, don’t give the customer the option for the smallest size. Pour the medium or large by default when they order without specifying.
― calstars, Saturday, 14 December 2019 18:59 (four years ago) link
pints in multiple sizesFFS USA
― insecurity bear (sic), Saturday, 14 December 2019 20:09 (four years ago) link
adorable
― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Saturday, 14 December 2019 20:15 (four years ago) link
like most people, I think of this panel three out of four times I get a pint in the US. but calling multiple sizes in the same bar by the one name is frankly a macroaggression.
https://i.imgur.com/W6G767A.jpg not sorry for hueg, it's imperial tbf
― insecurity bear (sic), Saturday, 14 December 2019 21:13 (four years ago) link
Nice, thanks!
― Everybody Loves Ramen (WmC), Sunday, 16 January 2022 15:01 (two years ago) link
When a customer orders a subsequent drink, take care to place it in the exact spot where their last was
― calstars, Saturday, 30 April 2022 16:45 (two years ago) link
A lot of my customers carefully get a cocktail napkin ready while I'm working on their drink and slide it forward for me to finish the operation.
― If you were really hard core, you'd have thrown a full bottle (WmC), Saturday, 30 April 2022 17:00 (two years ago) link
Bar pros
― calstars, Saturday, 30 April 2022 17:15 (two years ago) link
i went to a bar by myself yesterday, first time in forever. i was killing an hour and a half waiting for my car to be inspected down the street. i went to an irish sportsbar, and was definitely the most awkward weirdo in the room. my instincts are horrible. in this giant sportsbar, there were about 8 customers. 4 were sitting at the bar, and the remaining 4 were sitting at a pair of tables a few feet away. but this room was huge, and i had a headache, so i thought i'd just go sit at a table by myself about 100 feet away. but i had to order a drink first. 3 of the 4 people sitting at the bar were old guys, and they were all staring at me. i made eye contact with one of them and he immediately looked away, and then the bartender asked me what i wanted. she called me honey and then turned away and her jean shorts exposed like half of her ass-cheek, and then i made eye contact with another old guy and he immediately looked away. i realized i didn't know what kind of draft beers they had, so i marched around to the other side of the horseshoe-shaped bar to take a look at the little knobs. i ordered a shocktop and was immediately disappointed with what i had done, and then i asked if it was ok to sit in the other, completely empty, part of the room. it looked like it might be closed off due to no customers entering it for the past 5 years. she said you got it to my beer request and of course to my question about sitting alone. i walked back around to the other side of the bar, waiting for my beer, and then realized i needed to sit down at the bar instead of walking 100 feet away. so i sat down. it got worse from there, i assume when i left they were like wtf
― Karl Malone, Saturday, 30 April 2022 18:50 (two years ago) link
i’m sure it was fine, if there are just old dudes at a bar mid-day they’re either locked in to their own thing or desperate for conversation. probably with their own kind, but you sit three seats away and they start making small comments at the tv or grunting noises to try to lure you in
― mh, Sunday, 1 May 2022 03:09 (two years ago) link
Also don't smoke pot just before you go to an Irish bar. Just sayin'.
― Josefa, Sunday, 1 May 2022 03:13 (two years ago) link
Karl Malone cruisin’ old guys at a dive.
― DAMAGED by Black Flat (Boring, Maryland), Sunday, 1 May 2022 03:53 (two years ago) link
they will talk about this day for months to come
― maf you one two (maffew12), Sunday, 1 May 2022 12:47 (two years ago) link
If the bar is loud and a customer has a bill of $50 or less, express the total with your fingers. Round 6 up to the next ten.
― Diarrhea of a Madman (calstars), Saturday, 29 July 2023 20:20 (nine months ago) link
End every description of a drink with “it’s very distinctive”
― calstars, Thursday, 10 August 2023 00:28 (eight months ago) link
When pouring a pitcher, let the brew fall on the lip to break its fall, thereby preventing half a pitcher of foam
― calstars, Sunday, 13 August 2023 20:45 (eight months ago) link
Buy back calculation: customer must have ordered at least two rounds and have tipped half the price of their drinks
― calstars, Sunday, 10 December 2023 19:02 (four months ago) link
I prefer sellbacks, where I drink as much of the beer I want, and give the rest back for a prorated refund
― STUPID CRAP FACE (Neanderthal), Sunday, 10 December 2023 19:06 (four months ago) link
This is all very intimidating and confusing to me.
― Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Sunday, 10 December 2023 19:11 (four months ago) link
Are you a bartender?
― calstars, Sunday, 10 December 2023 19:58 (four months ago) link
When there are customers in hearing range, and the bar is quiet, and the customer tells you that they should be at work, don’t ask about the details of their employment
― calstars, Thursday, 28 December 2023 20:52 (four months ago) link
i mean
― Disco Biollante (Neanderthal), Thursday, 28 December 2023 20:59 (four months ago) link