your terrible ideas

inkpens?

- We'll have the show be about landscaping disputes between neighbors. Call it Yard Court

- Courtyard.

- No, I said Yard Court - you know, like with a judge and everything.

Would watch all this Courts.

Ship Court

a version of the movie Spring Breakers, but it takes place on the Lake of the Ozarks

lol @ the idea of a maritime court show, would watch

*Jewish mom voice* "Where's the bill of lading?"
"Ahma get that when--"
"--Where's the bill of lading?"
"Yeah, uhm, see I--"
"--Where's the bill of lading? Don't B.S. me, I know you had a bill of lading for this shipment."

Judge Court, a show where you argue before a television judge about the unfair judgment you received from another television judge.

I mean, ok mh, it wasn't spring and it was about 75 miles northwest of LotO, but ...

https://i.imgur.com/lyiaAQf.jpg

The Peeple's Court, starring Judge Nia Peeples.

Sorry, 'The Peeples' Court'.

That's just asking for a rival network to do The Peebles Court, starring Judge Mario Van Peebles.

A music app that can detect the speed at which you're driving and adjusts the tempo of the music accordingly. So 45 mph = 90 bpm, 60 mph = 120 bpm, 70 mph = 140 bpm, etc.

Figure out a way to get some generic beat going like that for runners, and you're on to something.

Just anything like "Techno_02" from a synthesizer, and when you jog at 3 MPH, you get 90 bpm; 5 mph = 120 bm, etc.

And you know you're done for the day when the beat .... just .... drags .... to ... a ... ... ... stop.

kickstarter stretch goal: if it detects you barfing in the woods it plays merzbow

A dollar store that really sticks to the dollar price limit, so that over the years, as inflation rises, the products just get smaller and crappier

It's kinda like that already?

fast food dollar menus definitely already like that

It's kinda like that already?

― pplains, Wednesday, January 17, 2018 12:24 PM (fourteen minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Is it? The "dollar stores" around me all carry stuff that's $2/$3/$4, probably even higher

Feast your eyes, my friend.

Man I'd love to be an accountant there.

https://i.imgur.com/54e5kGj.jpg

I always think about the Dollar Tree cashier, standing there all day going "That'll be $2.14. $7.49 please. Just $1.07. You don't have change?"

― pplains, Thursday, April 2, 2015 8:29 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Reading any ILX film thread

So, let's say, like, you don't have any lubricant and you needs some. Maybe sexual lubricant. Maybe olive oil. Maybe motor oil. Maybe some niche industrial machine lubricant.

There's an app for that. It's... LUBER

https://i.imgur.com/Sa3H8Ng.png

I should start posting more .png's.

Figured this was the appropriate thread to announce that.

pleasant.png

fnarrr oki loled

connected health device: it's for autoerotic asphyxiation, but it monitors your vitals and releases you if you actually pass out

Confirmed. Terrible idea.

I call it the Mulder

Lives could be saved, Jeff.

Unless... disconnecting the monitor causes the sexual arousal to go up. Then lives could be doomed, I guess.

I mean, people who hadn’t considered it might think, “wow, now that it’s safe, might as well give it a whirl” but I mostly don’t want the fictional man from the X-Files to die

A one-man show featuring my middling impersonations of tertiary characters from TV's Dallas.

(NB, my every attempt to convince someone to watch Dallas has been unsuccessful.)

a messaging app specifically designed around the needs of the polyamorous - customize settings so that for example, on mutually agreed upon days one partner's messages don't vibrate, permitting you to give your full attention to the person you're on a date with tonight. i call it... PolyPhony.

I heartily endorse any product whose function is clearly an afterthought cobbled together to justify a clever name.

pole your phriends, then phone them back!

A chip and dip brand called "Blockchip" with a superficial and indeterminite crypto-currency theme. The slogan is "Buy the Dip"

poll what month and year will ilxors stop making a new monthly usa politics thread

July 2021

The Bechdel-Turing Test: when two women talk to each other on screen, can you tell if one of them is a bot?

lol

haha

A parody of 'Fifty Shades of Gray' for watersports fans, called 'Fifty Shades of Yellow'.

O_o

Is the antagonist's name Mr. Yellow? Otherwise, I don't get it.

That's exactly right.

A Disney animated Blaxploitation film about Eastern philosophy.

'FroZen.

The other day while falling asleep I had a weird desire to start some sort of mandela effect / collective false memory hoax that Parliament-Funkadelic was once on one of those Scooby Doo episodes with animated guest starts. Like they all traveled around in the Mothership, there would be lots of hilarious Bootsy catchphrases with canned laughter afterwards, a wacky montage where they chase the villain around while playing Give Up The Funk, etc.

i'd totally watch an entire series of cartoons starring the p-funk gang tbh, like the ones they had for new kids on the block or the harlem globetrotters