thread to get over a breakup

i doubt he even read much of it though to be fair it is completely unreadable. thanks guys. i'm in a much better place. ya'll know stevie d. he is the sweetest guy and a total saint for letting me stay with him for a bit. going back "home" across the country on friday. another start from scratch, the third in five years or so. feeling good about this one though. decent mental health, feeling more myself than ever. i know what i want from life. cheers and peace.

Best wishes matt. Stevie d is indeed the best.

best wishes, map<3
even though these are difficult days the recipes featuring cream of mushroom soup and the mayonnaise in the guacamole made me lol

:)

sorry yr going through this matt. good luck.

wishing you the best, the initial "dodged a bullet imo" in this thread seems appropriate here as well

mayo in guac is the devil, go in peace map

love you vegemitegrrl

<3

making recipes which feature cream of mushroom soup, putting mayonnaise in your guacamole.

this is triggering memories of my upthread ex's family, but you are awesome, and go in pizza! if you ever visit the SF Bay, I owe ya!

map rules y'all

ty for being the awesome guy to help through a breakup <3

sometimes i still miss her so much

Hey nv

<3 to you NV

<3

you thought 4ndrew sulliv4n was brilliant. you always chatted him up whenever you saw him out walking his dogs. one time you guys stopped right in the very narrow entrance to the gym locker room for a conversation. i squeezed by to go work out, which is what you're supposed to fucking do at a gym. you were one of those annoying queens who couldn't see the gym as anything other than a social club.

misogynistic gays with daddy issues, fuck off 4 lyfe

let me just say that you have always seemed like an awesome dude

and also most of these anecdotes make me want to go screaming for the hills

Missed this before, 💜Matt

aw u too boo

Today is 5th wedding anniversary.

My last 3 wedding anniversaries (including today) - two years ago: on my way home from work my wife calls me upset as the cat has gone into a catatonic state with hugely dilated pupils. This lasts for a week - during which we start discussing putting the cat down as he is not eating, sleeping, or drinking fluids - we take the cat to the vet a few times and visit a veterinarian neurologist, none of them have a clue other than it is something neurological. The cat eventually suddenly snaps out of it, never for the conditions to reoccur.

Last year: I have a doctor's appointment as I have been having numbness of the extremities, chest pain and tightness, sweating, tachycardia, trouble breathing etc. I have a panic attack in the doctor's room. Wife has a meeting at work.

This year: wake up in my new place for the first time having separated from my wife yesterday. This is by far the least shitty of the last 3 anniversaries ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

<3

fight the good fight

We are going to hang out tonight and watch riverdale and eat some edibles

Ah Jim. Sorry.

I'm doing surprisingly well, and there is very little acrimony :)

thanks for the kind words

Realness. Very glad to hear you woke up ok man <3

<3 glad yr doing ok & that it is not super-acrimonious

sorry man, big changes are hard

How many times are you supposed to feel sure that you've found the person you'll spend the rest of your life with before you do?

Ah hoos <3

<3

just means you have a big heart hoos <3

It isn't over. We're trying to work through it. But it's been weeks now of dread and tears and hard conversations, and this weekend she told me she'd been afraid to admit that she hasn't had romantic feelings for me for the last few months. And I remember the end of enough relationships to know that's never a good sign. To feel undesired by the person you love more than anything--I feel like a gutted fish.

i just want to scream and burn everything down

Do that for a while

Then remember that there's plenty out there need you in another mode than that

feel sure that you've found the person you'll spend the rest of your life with

this is a thing?

It isn't over. We're trying to work through it. But it's been weeks now of dread and tears and hard conversations, and this weekend she told me she'd been afraid to admit that she hasn't had romantic feelings for me for the last few months. And I remember the end of enough relationships to know that's never a good sign. To feel undesired by the person you love more than anything--I feel like a gutted fish.

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Tuesday, February 27, 2018 1:50 PM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lots of love to you hoos, from someone who was in that boat v recently and similarly crushed at the time.

sorry and mucho love to you hoos

Bah, sorry to hear that, man. One thing though:

And I remember the end of enough relationships to know that's never a good sign.

Past relationships are only ever going to cast a shadow over current ones, because, y'know, they're past. They didn't work out - but that doesn't mean that patterns you see in them necessarily point to doom. Have you the option of couples counselling?

always move toward the sun, cast the shadow behind you on the past, imo

i’ve decided to be single forevermore

which means i have to break up with someone i’ve Been seeing for about a month

do i owe them an explanation?

general human decency says yes imo
but idk shit about dating rules so maybe my advice is not the best

general human decency definitely says yes if you mean "should I just ghost them" instead

it’s only been a month so you owe no more than “not feeling it” imo

it’s within the dating trial period before you have any sort of solid commitment, unless you’ve exchanged vows or something

yeah ghosting bad, unless it’s a mutual “we forgot to text each other ever again” thing that is mutual

oh i don’t intend to ghost

i was just wondering if “not feeling it” is a good enough explanation or if i owe them more

not feeling it is cool imo and ime

you could also go slightly more poetic with "my heart's not in it" or Bartleby with "I'd prefer not to go foward/I'm not comfortable going forward"