First the good news...

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Old home week has arrived, it seems.

BTW, Lynskey, do not wean your daughter with a sugar tit, or give her a tablepoon full of rum for the colic*. This is now frowned upon by child care "experts".

*Unofficially speaking, I don't give a good goddamn if you do. She's all yours to freely implant your vicious ideas into, so what harm can a sugar tit do, compared to that?

Aimless, Saturday, 16 May 2009 01:06 (fifteen years ago) link

a higher power plainly is at work, dear lynskey. accept it, disavow the family, and rededicate yourself to clerical orders. hellfire, fastfood and an expensive, tasteless wedding lie down the other road.

needless to say, aimless (if i may speak for them) and i stand ready to provide every possible assistance. best done like removing a court plaster; i.e. plenty of C4 and a bronze prussian helmet over your dangly bits (just in case you change your mind).

oh, and do bring the sugar tit along. it's a long bus ride and the TV's all in spanish. plus god does drone on a bit: "michaelmas, blah blah, arthur scargill, blah, consubstantiation, blah." but, on the plus side, the clothes are comfy, the wine plentiful, and you'll have all of us! it'll be like #73 with lads only (plus sue if we can find all the parts).

please think it over & if it's still a no, you can always *invite us over your place.*

do think it over.


hurley, Saturday, 16 May 2009 03:05 (fifteen years ago) link

oh, and aimless, exceedingly well done, sir. you're the jap sub that never heard the war ended or the last olympian, lingering to gather a few withered laurel leaves. had you cast yourself on the winds of time, or simply let the fag ends pile up, i'd never have found my way home.

and the rats look downright *glossy*. but all lady rats, no?

well done, wot!

hurley, Saturday, 16 May 2009 03:11 (fifteen years ago) link

I have been demoted to cabin boy on a derelict run aground in the evaporation pond of the local sewage treatment plant.

Hence my internet connection, like my clothing, is spotty at best.

dude steel. you and your high tensile strength and near infinite malleability! the quivering signature glyph will e'er be burned on my brain.

read about your mishap in the latest number of colliers. appalling lack of seamanship, wot. but you smiled for all the pictures and your mustachios , at least, seem to have passed through the ordeal unharmed. just hope your council cheques are still reaching you. and be sure to oil your joints! don't want some know-it-all little girl avec perky dog having her way with you while you stand stiff-limbed on the poop.

FWIW, strongly suspect that lynskey is now under the control of the two davids. short hair and family encumbrances are the twin hallmarks of the liberal/SDP alliance. suggest resort to black ops. communicate availability through usual channels, etc.

a pleasant onslaught indeed.

in the main, i remain,


hurley, Sunday, 17 May 2009 16:05 (fifteen years ago) link

three weeks pass...

i knew he'd rust over.

hurley, Sunday, 7 June 2009 11:35 (fifteen years ago) link

As I understand it, Dude Steel has been passing himself off as Stalin's love child and and on the strength of that claim has been cadging free drinks from a Stalinist cell he stumbled upon in Rotterdam.

Aimless, Sunday, 7 June 2009 16:55 (fifteen years ago) link

and I quote......

and be sure to oil your joints! don't want some know-it-all little girl avec perky dog having her way with you while you stand stiff-limbed on the poop.

end quote......

I WAS going to immediately go for the quick and easy joke about how EVERY deck on this derelict is a poop deck considering our current location and lack of locomotion......

But I reconsidered, once remembering Momma's teachings about think twice and count to ten before you speak.

I always get distracted somewhere around 6 or

In other news, Ask A Drunk outpaces the increasingly moribund I Love Cooking, proving once again (if proof were needed) that the love of alcohol will outlast an ilxor's love for any other source of calories.

Aimless, Tuesday, 9 June 2009 01:40 (fifteen years ago) link

senor steel, thank god your momma's not in politics. we'd never get to fight a decent war! or have sex with elderly former-soviet-bloc prostitutes.

and as for i love cooking, that's a crystal meth site; those dudes are hardcore, if a bit stuporous.

here's mud in your eye (really, *mud*),


hurley, Thursday, 11 June 2009 09:32 (fifteen years ago) link

There were corollaries to momma's rules.....

I'll double check but I'm pretty sure that Elderly Former-soviet bloc prostitutes are A OK.

As for the mud slinging, why wasn't I informed of the upcoming election?

i should have known that ma steel wouldn't begrudge a fellow the odd snog with a burley burlap-hosed комисса́рette. i'll send her a bottle of the good stuff . . . as soon as i'm done using it to remove the stains from my dog-fur ushanka.

as for the election, we pushed through the usual slate. didn't see a need to wake you; the drool cups were well below the six gill mark.

and the sherbet was much appreciated, if not used in the traditional way by any means.

all the better to see you with my dear,


hurley, Friday, 19 June 2009 10:39 (fourteen years ago) link

In some cultures Sherbet is used as currency.

So if you managed to "trade" it for a bite of something here or there then good on ya! My what big EARS you have and all that? wink wink nod nod say no more.

My title isn't intended to be as pretentious as it sounds. It comes with the territory and I do enjoy it so.

one year passes...

all the scuttling roused me, at least long enough to tug the dude's beard. i hope you know, dearest dude, that such pretenses are wholly unnecessary in these liberal precincts. but happy for any feminine presence, i suppose. drool cups decanted lovingly into the beer barrel, joints oiled, auto-pilot calibrated, blissium dispensed. back to my slumbers.

hurley, Sunday, 18 July 2010 11:54 (thirteen years ago) link

Good. You were disturbing the dust bunnies.

Aimless, Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:15 (thirteen years ago) link

... I can tell by their expressions.

Aimless, Monday, 19 July 2010 23:39 (thirteen years ago) link

They'll settled down a bit, now. But they still seem skittish.

Aimless, Sunday, 25 July 2010 15:18 (thirteen years ago) link

two months pass...

I'm suspecting it's high time I pottered back, or I've pottered back and am highly suspect. At this distance it's nearly impossible to tell.

matt, Thursday, 21 October 2010 22:13 (thirteen years ago) link

pottered back. Is that like jugged hare?

A Reclaimer Hewn With (Michael White), Thursday, 21 October 2010 22:21 (thirteen years ago) link

slightly more mustard

matt, Thursday, 21 October 2010 22:38 (thirteen years ago) link

That's what they said in the studio, too.

A Reclaimer Hewn With (Michael White), Thursday, 21 October 2010 22:40 (thirteen years ago) link

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