Barfly Best Practices

Message Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed
Not all messages are displayed: show all messages (107 of them)

Always pay with cash. This eliminates the risks of:

- Forgetting your credit card
- the bartender taking advantage of your inebriation to overcharge you

calstars, Friday, 15 December 2017 21:49 (three years ago) link

Also bar staff (and other service workers) have better visibility into what happens to cash than to credit/debit charges.

Oh and speaking of inebriation: if a bartender offers to call a cab for you, DON'T ARGUE. If they think you need a cab then you need a frickin cab.

Darth be not proud (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, 15 December 2017 22:53 (three years ago) link

four weeks pass...

if taking a car to the bar, park or get dropped off a block away and arrive by foot. No one likes a VIP.

June Pointer’s Valentine’s Day Secret Admirer Note Author (calstars), Friday, 12 January 2018 21:12 (three years ago) link

two months pass...

When an interested party asks how old you think they are, subtract 5 from your gut feeling

calstars, Tuesday, 3 April 2018 21:04 (three years ago) link

If you are the only person left in the bar very close to closing time...please leave.

Yerac, Tuesday, 3 April 2018 21:43 (three years ago) link

three weeks pass...

If there is more than one bartender
Choose one, preferably the older,
And when it comes time for subsequent rounds,
Always order from the same one,
To increase the chance of buy backs

calstars, Wednesday, 25 April 2018 23:02 (three years ago) link

May have changed opinions on paying with a card vs cash. I only got charged for 3 while consuming 5 today. Maybe the Card allows the bartender to keep the discounts on the DL, thereby rewarding good tipping regulars without being subject to the inquisitiveness of nosy fuckers at the bar who keep track of this shit

calstars, Monday, 7 May 2018 01:47 (three years ago) link

one thing i genuinely never know is whether bartenders prefer to be tipped in cash or just adding it on the card

F# A# (∞), Monday, 7 May 2018 02:20 (three years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Re: paying with cash vs a card -
In the past few weeks I’ve been undercharged and overcharged using a card. I think it’s probably better just using cash

calstars, Friday, 25 May 2018 21:33 (three years ago) link

Testing the new bartender on buyback etiquette

calstars, Friday, 25 May 2018 21:34 (three years ago) link

I hate having to use a card at the bar. plus if they want to comp you a drink let them do so with a wink and a hand motion, not in a way that makes you think it could have been a "user error"

El Tomboto, Friday, 25 May 2018 21:37 (three years ago) link

If it's a quiet afternoon, testing the new bartender on their Old Fashioneds.

I'm Finn thanks, don't mention it (fionnland), Saturday, 26 May 2018 00:00 (three years ago) link

four weeks pass...

Stick with one bartender, especially if she pours them well

calstars, Saturday, 23 June 2018 17:22 (three years ago) link

three months pass...

If you’re aware of a shift change later in the day, don’t leave the change of a large bill on the bar to pay for your nexts — instead, tip for each as they’re poured. This makes it easier for the early shifter to sign off without them having to remind you and thus ask for their tip explicitly

calstars, Wednesday, 26 September 2018 21:58 (two years ago) link

very otm

sleeve, Wednesday, 26 September 2018 22:07 (two years ago) link

very incomprehensible

Betting Eighty Hams (sic), Wednesday, 26 September 2018 22:41 (two years ago) link

Otm, I try to be aware of this when I can.

Sic: let's say you like to start drinking at 5:30, and you intend to stay for a while and have several drinks. But the bartender who gives you your first two drinks works only till 6. Then a different bartender comes in.

At this point, all the assembled barflies have a choice:

1. Close out their tab, so as to be sure their tips reach Bartender One. Then open a new tab with Bartender Two, so as to make sure that she or he gets tipped appropriately too.

2. Allow the tab to remain open and be transferred to Bartender Two. This runs the risk of stiffing Bartender One out of the tips on the first couple drinks.

Maybe the bar has a system for equitably distributing tips in this situation, maybe they don't; maybe they just figure it will work out karmically. You don't know, and it would be awkward to ask. So clearly Option 1 is better barfly etiquette.

CAVEAT: this assumes you are running a tab. If I understand Calstars correctly, calstars's seems to be talking more about a pay-as-you-go model. Which is also a tip-as-you-go model, unless you're a dick.

That model can be elegant, especially if you're using cash and rounding up generously to nice tidy whole-dollar amounts. (Speaking in USian terms.)

Inuit innuendo (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, 27 September 2018 00:51 (two years ago) link

Two twenties and two tens says sic is not a barfly

calstars, Thursday, 27 September 2018 01:45 (two years ago) link

I thought sic was just referring to the business of tipping itself

El Tomboto, Thursday, 27 September 2018 01:46 (two years ago) link

Is sic a British? I forget.

Inuit innuendo (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, 27 September 2018 01:49 (two years ago) link

sic is an Australian on long-term loan to Seattle

faculty w1fe (silby), Thursday, 27 September 2018 02:27 (two years ago) link

let's say you like to start drinking at 5:30, and you intend to stay for a while and have several drinks. But the bartender who gives you your first two drinks works only till 6. Then a different bartender comes in.

At this point, all the assembled barflies have a choice:

1. Close out their tab, so as to be sure their tips reach Bartender One. Then open a new tab with Bartender Two, so as to make sure that she or he gets tipped appropriately too.

2. Allow the tab to remain open and be transferred to Bartender Two. This runs the risk of stiffing Bartender One out of the tips on the first couple drinks.

Maybe the bar has a system for equitably distributing tips in this situation, maybe they don't; maybe they just figure it will work out karmically. You don't know, and it would be awkward to ask. So clearly Option 1 is better barfly etiquette.

none of this comes close to explaining what "don’t leave the change of a large bill on the bar to pay for your nexts" means

also

CAVEAT: this assumes you are running a tab. If I understand Calstars correctly, calstars's seems to be talking more about a pay-as-you-go model. Which is also a tip-as-you-go model, unless you're a dick.

I assumed the same re calstars' model so you are additionally saying that your entire explanation is not intended to explain it?

Betting Eighty Hams (sic), Thursday, 27 September 2018 08:11 (two years ago) link

(plus yeah re tombot

If you’re aware of a shift change later in the day, don’t leave the change of a large bill on the bar to pay for your nexts — instead, tip for each as they’re poured. This makes it easier for the early shifter to sign off without them having to remind you and thus ask for their tip explicitly

Otm, I try to be aware of this when I can.

Sic: let's say you like to start drinking at 5:30, and you intend to stay for a while and have several drinks. But the bartender who gives you your first two drinks works only till 6. Then a different bartender comes in.

At this point, all the assembled barflies have a choice:

1. Close out their tab, so as to be sure their tips reach Bartender One. Then open a new tab with Bartender Two, so as to make sure that she or he gets tipped appropriately too.

2. Allow the tab to remain open and be transferred to Bartender Two. This runs the risk of stiffing Bartender One out of the tips on the first couple drinks.

Maybe the bar has a system for equitably distributing tips in this situation, maybe they don't; maybe they just figure it will work out karmically. You don't know, and it would be awkward to ask. So clearly Option 1 is better barfly etiquette.

CAVEAT: this assumes you are running a tab. If I understand Calstars correctly, calstars's seems to be talking more about a pay-as-you-go model. Which is also a tip-as-you-go model, unless you're a dick.

That model can be elegant, especially if you're using cash and rounding up generously to nice tidy whole-dollar amounts.

a slightly more elegant model is: pay a listed price for things.)

Betting Eighty Hams (sic), Thursday, 27 September 2018 08:20 (two years ago) link

two months pass...

If carrying a cash balance on the bar itself, add new bills by placing them perpendicular, on the side of the bartender, to your stack of smaller bills.

calstars, Saturday, 1 December 2018 19:21 (two years ago) link

Confirm your tip with the bartender. Never leave cash unattended.

calstars, Saturday, 1 December 2018 21:44 (two years ago) link

I don’t worry about shift changes and tipping. I drink at the same bar all the time. They all know I got them overall.

Jeff, Saturday, 1 December 2018 22:10 (two years ago) link

Smoove Jeff
Respeck

calstars, Saturday, 1 December 2018 22:15 (two years ago) link

can I get a buyback or what

rip van wanko, Saturday, 1 December 2018 23:52 (two years ago) link

Cal yr top tier single malt

Make a double, neat chief

F# A# (∞), Sunday, 2 December 2018 04:27 (two years ago) link

When you’re on your 7th and wondering when the right time is to leave, do so whenever one of the following events occur:
- you belch loudly, causing a moment of silence to be observed around you
- navigation and walking control becomes difficult, possibly resulting in collisions with others
- you spill your drink on your running cash tab

calstars, Sunday, 9 December 2018 13:53 (two years ago) link

- you immediately grab up the wet cash and try to suck out the absorbed liquor

mick signals, Sunday, 9 December 2018 16:09 (two years ago) link

the navigation rule is more otm than many of us would admit

rip van wanko, Sunday, 9 December 2018 22:17 (two years ago) link

Sometimes it’s ok to talk to the ugly one down the bar. They might have a friend.

calstars, Wednesday, 19 December 2018 23:55 (two years ago) link

the guy who posts to ilx about how irked he is at children being in the bar might have a friend too. but probably not

( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉) (jim in vancouver), Wednesday, 19 December 2018 23:58 (two years ago) link

also might not be ugly (unlikely)

( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉) (jim in vancouver), Wednesday, 19 December 2018 23:58 (two years ago) link

Tip well on the first, then moderately on subsequents. The aim is to strike the right balance between appearing to be generous and evidencing that you’re cheap enough to appreciate a buy back.

calstars, Sunday, 23 December 2018 19:35 (two years ago) link

the miserable cunt landlord + his rude staff in my local wouldn't even get a steam off my piss tip off me. £4.60 for a pint of Stella, the place is full of unfriendly white-van yeomen arseholes and it's only 2 years since someone got murdered in the car park. The first time I went in there someone rudely shoulder barged past me because i wasn't a reg and the fool i was with sez: don't worry they were like me that with me for a few years as well.

Just out of interest calstars, how much do you pay for a pint in your bar?

calzino, Sunday, 23 December 2018 21:29 (two years ago) link

$5 for the cheap stuff, $8 for everything else. Quite a jump. Occasionally there are happy surprises like seasonals that are out of season for half price.

calstars, Sunday, 23 December 2018 21:42 (two years ago) link

that's just about as expensive as the some of godawful pubs here charge, although if you don't mind making a vile multi-millionaire richer it is much cheaper at Wetherspoons branches. Very much a no-tipping culture in the pubs here because we are such a socialist country.

calzino, Sunday, 23 December 2018 21:55 (two years ago) link

Flashbacks to W4dd3ll sock puppets arguing with themselves in DNs above.

Bimlo Horsewagon became Wheelbarrow Horseflesh (aldo), Monday, 24 December 2018 11:26 (two years ago) link

two weeks pass...

When ordering from a bar and sitting elsewhere, do so from out of arms-reach from others who are sitting at the bar. This reduces the opportunity for others to reach out and grab your tip.

This is not necessary if you never leave cash attended, which is the preferred practice.

calstars, Sunday, 13 January 2019 19:15 (two years ago) link

Yeah I think in that situation I would either be running a tab (in which case I will tip upon settling up), handing over a card (in which case I will tip on the receipt) or handing over something like the right amount of cash (and suggesting that the change should be kept).

Not sure what barfly mechanics would entail my leaving cash within the reach of other patrons.

Further, if I'm ordering from the bar but not sitting at it, it's likely that the bar is so crowded that there IS no place out of arm's reach.

Gunther Gleiben (Ye Mad Puffin), Sunday, 13 January 2019 20:16 (two years ago) link

three months pass...

Sometimes you can’t help but be served by two bartenders. Sometimes there’s just no other option. In these cases you just have to roll with the punches and forgive however many lost buybacks you will miss.

calstars, Friday, 26 April 2019 21:51 (two years ago) link

if they care they close your tab when they're going off shift surely

findom haddie (jim in vancouver), Friday, 26 April 2019 21:53 (two years ago) link

three weeks pass...

Stupid Mexican beer in a pint glass with a lime slice on the lip drinking tip: rotate the lime a half turn every few draughts and sip from there

calstars, Tuesday, 21 May 2019 19:35 (two years ago) link

Or you could just squeeze the lime into the beer and leave it there

mitt the hoopla (Ye Mad Puffin), Tuesday, 21 May 2019 19:37 (two years ago) link

I had to completely refactor my mental calculus when drinking (or eating dinner) in Manhattan because the idea of separate checks or the wait staff splitting the check just does not compute. I mean, fair enough, I'm a traveler in a strange land, I must learn the ways. But it also explains why Venmo took off like crazy in NYC more than other places -- you're constantly having to send your friends cash because they got the tab!

mh, Tuesday, 21 May 2019 19:50 (two years ago) link

so I guess I'd recommend paying per drink when sitting at the bar with a chum to make it easier, or carrying enough cash to just divvy up the bill. Or just buy the drinks and give the person you'll never see again a "you can get it next time!" wink

mh, Tuesday, 21 May 2019 19:51 (two years ago) link

three months pass...

Keep in mind: mixed drinks don’t have a set alcohol content

calstars, Wednesday, 28 August 2019 00:16 (one year ago) link

three weeks pass...

When paying in small denominations, lay the cash out in separate piles for the drink and the tip

calstars, Sunday, 22 September 2019 16:43 (one year ago) link

does the alcohol go in the mouth or can it be drank another way

Jordan Pickford LOLverdrive (Neanderthal), Saturday, 23 November 2019 01:09 (one year ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_GCcoaSq3x4

brownie, Saturday, 23 November 2019 02:43 (one year ago) link

I don't get this leaving cash out on the bar.

Yeah, if it's a tip, but keep it in your pocket otherwise.

pplains, Saturday, 23 November 2019 03:11 (one year ago) link

one month passes...

Keep in mind — from a bartender’s perspective, there’s nothing more useless than a patron commenting on the music.

calstars, Friday, 3 January 2020 22:04 (one year ago) link

ugh, nice newer bar and this group came in and they all are sitting, not waiting in a line. and two are doing the “holding cash up to get service” move. ok, it’s a small space and they are servicing _your group_ from left to right. you are the only people this guy is serving. and the guy near me has money in hand and singles on the bar in front of him, in some passive aggressive “this is the tip” move. and when he is about to be served, he puts those singles back in his wallet

diiiiiiieeee

babu frik fan account (mh), Saturday, 4 January 2020 06:35 (one year ago) link

If the tables are wobbly, place your drink in the middle

calstars, Saturday, 11 January 2020 01:50 (one year ago) link

If the drinks are wobbly, place your

papa stank (Neanderthal), Saturday, 11 January 2020 02:01 (one year ago) link

four weeks pass...

came here to post the same video as brownie upthread

doorstep jetski (dog latin), Monday, 10 February 2020 10:56 (one year ago) link

six months pass...

When paying with a card at a new place, provide the most exclusive plastic (or metal) that you can. This may lead to better service and customer prioritization in anticipation of a large tip.

calstars, Tuesday, 18 August 2020 23:12 (ten months ago) link

rich people are bad tippers so this probably won't work

Temporary Erogenous Zone (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 18 August 2020 23:14 (ten months ago) link

my wife got a 10% tip from one of the countries wealthiest real estate developers/art patrons

Temporary Erogenous Zone (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 18 August 2020 23:15 (ten months ago) link

lol yeah

solo scampito (mh), Tuesday, 18 August 2020 23:47 (ten months ago) link

this thread makes going to the bar seem like going to the soup nazi

brimstead, Tuesday, 18 August 2020 23:51 (ten months ago) link

“When in groups of 5 or multiples of 7, make sure to all sit on the same side on the booth and throw 8 five dollars bills folded into airplanes towards the bartender every 24 1/2 minutes”

brimstead, Tuesday, 18 August 2020 23:53 (ten months ago) link

also know the code name for your drink. calling it by its real name is an insult

muntjac wagner (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 18 August 2020 23:54 (ten months ago) link

Bwahaha

Temporary Erogenous Zone (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 18 August 2020 23:56 (ten months ago) link

Assuming the bartender is busy, lower your cost per hour at the bar by bringing a thermos or flask from home

calstars, Monday, 24 August 2020 21:56 (ten months ago) link

PROTIP: Don't go to a bar during COVID

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Monday, 24 August 2020 22:43 (ten months ago) link

one month passes...

Sometimes a big tip is necessary to alert a new or unfamiliar bartender that you’re “worthy” of buybacks. So if there’s someone new behind the bar, be generous and look forward to the next time for reciprocation.

calstars, Sunday, 27 September 2020 22:00 (eight months ago) link

one month passes...

Just stand in one place and drink until you fall over

calstars, Sunday, 1 November 2020 23:42 (seven months ago) link

three months pass...

If it’s busy, and you score a good spot or table: to deter squatters, order doubles, and have a spare drink on the table at all times

calstars, Sunday, 14 February 2021 18:35 (four months ago) link

how is that not a dick move

brimstead, Sunday, 14 February 2021 19:58 (four months ago) link

If it’s crowded, place your half empty drink in clear view of the bartender so that it’s clearly visible when they make their rounds. This allows them to quickly assess, together with a nod on your part, that you’re in need of another round.

calstars, Saturday, 27 February 2021 01:49 (three months ago) link

half empty? we only drink half?

brimstead, Saturday, 27 February 2021 02:40 (three months ago) link

Drinking half is a dick move

calstars, Saturday, 27 February 2021 02:42 (three months ago) link

Tip directly into the recipients hand / vision

You all stealin what’s not yours can gfy

calstars, Monday, 1 March 2021 00:28 (three months ago) link

two months pass...

When arriving at the bar and verbally greeting the bouncer or bartender, volume is more important than content

calstars, Saturday, 1 May 2021 21:44 (one month ago) link

strolls into doorway, screams "FUCK UP CUNT!!!" across the room, returns to outdoor seating and waits for preferred beverages to be fetched.

bobo honkin' slobo babe (sic), Saturday, 1 May 2021 21:51 (one month ago) link

When paying cash and breaking a large bill, if you have enough for a tip in small bills, give that to the bartender when he gives you your change. This precludes the never-graceful “let me give you a tip from the change” interaction

calstars, Sunday, 2 May 2021 17:56 (one month ago) link

one month passes...

Don’t creep or hit on the staff

calstars, Saturday, 5 June 2021 20:25 (two weeks ago) link


You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.