Barfly Best Practices

A quick shake of salt on your cocktail napkin keeps it from sticking to the bottom of your glass.

You can use a straw to try someone else's drink without germ concerns (insert a straw, plug the top end with your thumb, lift it out and sample).

Ear wax and nose oil are good for dispelling bubbles (rub your nose or put your finger in your ear, then put the finger into excessively heady beer).

The old "dollar per drink" tip makes sense only for beer and rail drinks. 20% of pretax total is best for tabs that include more attentive service (hand muddling, etc.).

Coffee-based drinks consumed in the evening will usually be made with really terrible coffee.

If you don't want people to talk to you, work on a crossword puzzle or prop up a book on a condiment caddy. Protip: choose a very boring book or one with a nondescript cover, so no one tries to initiate conversation with "whatcha readin'?"

If there is a TV tuned to Fox (even if it is muted) ask for it to be changed.

if it doesn't fold, it isn't a tip (exceptions for regulars may apply)

Depends on the amount

this thread and the weather today make me want to go spend a few hours at my local tbh

haha otm

See you there dude

Sometimes a regular sitting near the taps gets to have a partial beer left by a dead keg (and yes it is still a free drink that you should consider when tipping).

General tipping guidance (may not apply for non-USians) is that you shouldn't try to punish a bad service experience with an insultingly small tip because you end up screwing over people who were not responsible.

If you had three glasses of the same wine, you could have bought the bottle.

Note: UK-style "and for yourself?" tipping does not work well in USian bars, as the bar staff is usually not drinking during working hours. I have seen people try to do it and it fell flat.

cocktail napkins are so beyond horrible, there is this wonderful invention called the coaster...

Who knows what life is or where it’s going
So cheers

Always pay with cash. This eliminates the risks of:

- Forgetting your credit card
- the bartender taking advantage of your inebriation to overcharge you

Also bar staff (and other service workers) have better visibility into what happens to cash than to credit/debit charges.

Oh and speaking of inebriation: if a bartender offers to call a cab for you, DON'T ARGUE. If they think you need a cab then you need a frickin cab.

if taking a car to the bar, park or get dropped off a block away and arrive by foot. No one likes a VIP.

When an interested party asks how old you think they are, subtract 5 from your gut feeling

If you are the only person left in the bar very close to closing time...please leave.

If there is more than one bartender
Choose one, preferably the older,
And when it comes time for subsequent rounds,
Always order from the same one,
To increase the chance of buy backs

May have changed opinions on paying with a card vs cash. I only got charged for 3 while consuming 5 today. Maybe the Card allows the bartender to keep the discounts on the DL, thereby rewarding good tipping regulars without being subject to the inquisitiveness of nosy fuckers at the bar who keep track of this shit

one thing i genuinely never know is whether bartenders prefer to be tipped in cash or just adding it on the card

Re: paying with cash vs a card -
In the past few weeks I’ve been undercharged and overcharged using a card. I think it’s probably better just using cash

Testing the new bartender on buyback etiquette

I hate having to use a card at the bar. plus if they want to comp you a drink let them do so with a wink and a hand motion, not in a way that makes you think it could have been a "user error"

If it's a quiet afternoon, testing the new bartender on their Old Fashioneds.

Stick with one bartender, especially if she pours them well

If you’re aware of a shift change later in the day, don’t leave the change of a large bill on the bar to pay for your nexts — instead, tip for each as they’re poured. This makes it easier for the early shifter to sign off without them having to remind you and thus ask for their tip explicitly

very otm

very incomprehensible

Otm, I try to be aware of this when I can.

Sic: let's say you like to start drinking at 5:30, and you intend to stay for a while and have several drinks. But the bartender who gives you your first two drinks works only till 6. Then a different bartender comes in.

At this point, all the assembled barflies have a choice:

1. Close out their tab, so as to be sure their tips reach Bartender One. Then open a new tab with Bartender Two, so as to make sure that she or he gets tipped appropriately too.

2. Allow the tab to remain open and be transferred to Bartender Two. This runs the risk of stiffing Bartender One out of the tips on the first couple drinks.

Maybe the bar has a system for equitably distributing tips in this situation, maybe they don't; maybe they just figure it will work out karmically. You don't know, and it would be awkward to ask. So clearly Option 1 is better barfly etiquette.

CAVEAT: this assumes you are running a tab. If I understand Calstars correctly, calstars's seems to be talking more about a pay-as-you-go model. Which is also a tip-as-you-go model, unless you're a dick.

That model can be elegant, especially if you're using cash and rounding up generously to nice tidy whole-dollar amounts. (Speaking in USian terms.)

Two twenties and two tens says sic is not a barfly

I thought sic was just referring to the business of tipping itself

Is sic a British? I forget.

sic is an Australian on long-term loan to Seattle

let's say you like to start drinking at 5:30, and you intend to stay for a while and have several drinks. But the bartender who gives you your first two drinks works only till 6. Then a different bartender comes in.

At this point, all the assembled barflies have a choice:

1. Close out their tab, so as to be sure their tips reach Bartender One. Then open a new tab with Bartender Two, so as to make sure that she or he gets tipped appropriately too.

2. Allow the tab to remain open and be transferred to Bartender Two. This runs the risk of stiffing Bartender One out of the tips on the first couple drinks.

Maybe the bar has a system for equitably distributing tips in this situation, maybe they don't; maybe they just figure it will work out karmically. You don't know, and it would be awkward to ask. So clearly Option 1 is better barfly etiquette.

none of this comes close to explaining what "don’t leave the change of a large bill on the bar to pay for your nexts" means

also

CAVEAT: this assumes you are running a tab. If I understand Calstars correctly, calstars's seems to be talking more about a pay-as-you-go model. Which is also a tip-as-you-go model, unless you're a dick.

I assumed the same re calstars' model so you are additionally saying that your entire explanation is not intended to explain it?

(plus yeah re tombot

If you’re aware of a shift change later in the day, don’t leave the change of a large bill on the bar to pay for your nexts — instead, tip for each as they’re poured. This makes it easier for the early shifter to sign off without them having to remind you and thus ask for their tip explicitly

Otm, I try to be aware of this when I can.

Sic: let's say you like to start drinking at 5:30, and you intend to stay for a while and have several drinks. But the bartender who gives you your first two drinks works only till 6. Then a different bartender comes in.

At this point, all the assembled barflies have a choice:

1. Close out their tab, so as to be sure their tips reach Bartender One. Then open a new tab with Bartender Two, so as to make sure that she or he gets tipped appropriately too.

2. Allow the tab to remain open and be transferred to Bartender Two. This runs the risk of stiffing Bartender One out of the tips on the first couple drinks.

Maybe the bar has a system for equitably distributing tips in this situation, maybe they don't; maybe they just figure it will work out karmically. You don't know, and it would be awkward to ask. So clearly Option 1 is better barfly etiquette.

CAVEAT: this assumes you are running a tab. If I understand Calstars correctly, calstars's seems to be talking more about a pay-as-you-go model. Which is also a tip-as-you-go model, unless you're a dick.

That model can be elegant, especially if you're using cash and rounding up generously to nice tidy whole-dollar amounts.

a slightly more elegant model is: pay a listed price for things.)

If carrying a cash balance on the bar itself, add new bills by placing them perpendicular, on the side of the bartender, to your stack of smaller bills.

Confirm your tip with the bartender. Never leave cash unattended.

I don’t worry about shift changes and tipping. I drink at the same bar all the time. They all know I got them overall.

Smoove Jeff
Respeck

can I get a buyback or what

Cal yr top tier single malt

Make a double, neat chief

When you’re on your 7th and wondering when the right time is to leave, do so whenever one of the following events occur:
- you belch loudly, causing a moment of silence to be observed around you
- navigation and walking control becomes difficult, possibly resulting in collisions with others
- you spill your drink on your running cash tab

- you immediately grab up the wet cash and try to suck out the absorbed liquor

the navigation rule is more otm than many of us would admit

Sometimes it’s ok to talk to the ugly one down the bar. They might have a friend.

the guy who posts to ilx about how irked he is at children being in the bar might have a friend too. but probably not

also might not be ugly (unlikely)

Tip well on the first, then moderately on subsequents. The aim is to strike the right balance between appearing to be generous and evidencing that you’re cheap enough to appreciate a buy back.

the miserable cunt landlord + his rude staff in my local wouldn't even get a steam off my piss tip off me. £4.60 for a pint of Stella, the place is full of unfriendly white-van yeomen arseholes and it's only 2 years since someone got murdered in the car park. The first time I went in there someone rudely shoulder barged past me because i wasn't a reg and the fool i was with sez: don't worry they were like me that with me for a few years as well.

Just out of interest calstars, how much do you pay for a pint in your bar?

$5 for the cheap stuff, $8 for everything else. Quite a jump. Occasionally there are happy surprises like seasonals that are out of season for half price.

that's just about as expensive as the some of godawful pubs here charge, although if you don't mind making a vile multi-millionaire richer it is much cheaper at Wetherspoons branches. Very much a no-tipping culture in the pubs here because we are such a socialist country.

Flashbacks to W4dd3ll sock puppets arguing with themselves in DNs above.

also know the code name for your drink. calling it by its real name is an insult

Bwahaha

Assuming the bartender is busy, lower your cost per hour at the bar by bringing a thermos or flask from home

PROTIP: Don't go to a bar during COVID

Sometimes a big tip is necessary to alert a new or unfamiliar bartender that you’re “worthy” of buybacks. So if there’s someone new behind the bar, be generous and look forward to the next time for reciprocation.

Just stand in one place and drink until you fall over

If it’s busy, and you score a good spot or table: to deter squatters, order doubles, and have a spare drink on the table at all times

how is that not a dick move

If it’s crowded, place your half empty drink in clear view of the bartender so that it’s clearly visible when they make their rounds. This allows them to quickly assess, together with a nod on your part, that you’re in need of another round.

half empty? we only drink half?

Drinking half is a dick move

Tip directly into the recipients hand / vision

You all stealin what’s not yours can gfy

When arriving at the bar and verbally greeting the bouncer or bartender, volume is more important than content

strolls into doorway, screams "FUCK UP CUNT!!!" across the room, returns to outdoor seating and waits for preferred beverages to be fetched.

When paying cash and breaking a large bill, if you have enough for a tip in small bills, give that to the bartender when he gives you your change. This precludes the never-graceful “let me give you a tip from the change” interaction

Don’t creep or hit on the staff

If you’re sitting outside and it’s windy and seats at the place are at a premium and you’re not finished with your round and you have a glass of water and a clean napkin at hand and you need to vacate your spot temporarily, dip a corner of the napkin into the water and drape it over the round, wet edge touching rim and facing the prevailing direction of the wind. This will decrease the chances your napkin will blow away while you’re elsewhere, thereby decreasing the chances a customer looking for a seat will assume yours is available vis a vis the “abandoned” round.

If you need to limit yourself, order the last round, provide your card, and ask the server to close you out

Most graceful way to close out?
My vote goes to asking for a glass of water or club when you do so to savor the moment a bit longer

Some bartenders will sooner give you a buyback if you pay with a card rather than cash; you will have to determine this via experience

Always have more cash on hand than necessary

When paying cash and breaking a large bill, if you have enough for a tip in small bills, give that to the bartender when he gives you your change. This precludes the never-graceful “let me give you a tip from the change” interaction

Fair

as a server for the time being, i completely agree -- just tell me how much you want back and i will bring it. don't make me do math!!

then again, if i am the most sober person (usually) and you cannot be trusted to do math bc u been drinking, i will do it

A safe assumption

Stack your cash tips in single file if the service doesn’t pick up after each round. A mess of singles could give the wrong impression.

Each time you visit a regular spot, alternate between paying cash and with a card. Eventually you will be able to earn a free drink — either via the bartender assuming you’re paying with a card, or via plausible deniability that you forgot which payment method you’re using.

If a bartender in a plausible but uncommon spot recognizes you (“how’ve you been?”) but you don’t recognize them, confess the truth

Casual mention of other bartenders at the same place may get you you buybacks earlier

If you’re looking for a buyback, delay payment on your deserving round (4th is best). Have the bartender serve you and if necessary, feign to fumble about for your wallet. This pause allows your server the appropriate time to reflect

On a hot day, the glass holding your cold beverage may be subject to condensation. Don’t forsake a coaster or a napkin in this scenario. You want that water soaked up during drink downtime — so that it doesn’t drip on your shirt so much when you sip

The other option is to drink your cold beverage so quickly that it doesn't have time to attract condensation, or to warm up.

If you’re already sitting down and halfway through, a discreet wipe of the bottom of your glass on your pants before sipping is acceptable

Finish right on time

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKPcN9qbLZ0

At the cheapest bar around, order bottles or cans. Sometimes glasses get the short shrift.

Tip 5 at dives

This is obvious but if there’s big tip you want to give to a specific bartender give it to them by hand in cash “you’ve been served”

When you want a canned or bottled beer with a glass on the side, don’t order by saying “(Beer X)and a glass.” This can be misheard (“and” for “in”) and misinterpreted as a request for the draft version of Beer X, which is likely several sovereigns more. Better to preface with “bottle or can of,” and when it arrives, ask the bartender for a glass.