the Artie Lange appreciation thread

snorting cocaine or heroin, or he claims it's from snorting broken glass that was in his cocaine. it's been like that for a few months.
it would appear that he's been punched in the face a few times, too, judging by his fat lip and the bruise on his cheek, and the veiled threats against a bookie or drug dealer's runner.

"if i was a winner, i'd be home right now with a wife and a couple of kids, who were going into college, and i'd be fuckin buying them a car or something. i'm forty seven years old. i'm still in hotels, doing clubs. i'm doing radio interviews with guys i pretend to know. these guys on the radio are like, 'HEY GUESS WHAT ARTIE LANGE'S COMING UP. ARTIE LANGE'S HERE. HEY, ARTIE, DID YOU SHIT YOUR PANTS ONCE ON COCAINE? TELL US ALL ABOUT IT. WE LOVE YA. YEAH, HE TOLD THAT STORY ONCE...' on a radio show that doesn't exist anymore. and uh... you know, radio doesn't exist anymore. radio doesn't exist anymore. that's how big howard was. ... it's over. and if i wasn't a heroin addict that spent all my money on drugs, i wouldn't have to do this shit. but here i am, begging you to subscribe to some podcast. who the fuck even knows what this is?"

― dylannn, Wednesday, April 1, 2015 7:47 AM (two years ago)

lol

he had a heart infection and almost died a few months ago. this was after the arrest for possession. he must've moved onto to shooting up a while ago

true rock n roll coke in his jack daniels.
but for real he seems to be clean these days and is just in very poor health (in his fifties, diabetic, former alcoholic, overweight, ruined face).

http://i.redd.it/ack1orvozba01.png

this guy's having a tough time.

What's happening?

i can't keep track. he went to rehab instead of getting sentenced for possession, i think, but i guess he actually got hospitalized and went to a local rehab for a few days. and he's now re-emerged with half of his hair missing which he says was the result of being dragged by his hair while in jail... because corrupt jail guards beat him with a lead pipe and he had to cut his hair off to escape being dragged around... and he's wearing gloves because of diabetes. he's having a tough time, whatever is going on.

what the fuck are those gloves?

those are diabetes gloves?

You know you’re in some deep shit when you look like that and it’s the best you’ve looked in months

It looked like his nose expanded greatly between the first two episodes of Crashing.

i'm not hopeful.

he snorted glass... it fucked up his nose

I don't buy that story. also that was over 2 years ago. the heart infection is pretty telling imo, I think he's moved on to shooting up. it's really sad

Rolling Artie Lange’s Having A Tough Time

Every time this thread is bumped I expect it to be a RIP.

pretty long & in depth interview up today: Artie Lange Is Not Ready to Die: ‘Fuck ’Em All’

Mandy: If you do fall off the wagon again, are you scared of fentanyl at all?

Artie: No. A real heroin addict is not scared of fentanyl. I’d do it in a heartbeat. I want strong shit.

Mandy: Have you seen the tiny amount it takes to kill you?

Artie: I don’t know what it is, but draw it back one inch. I would accept fentanyl in a heartbeat. I had a fentanyl patch on in a mental home. It was unbelievable. I’ve never ODed. I’ve had dealers say, “Jesus Christ. What the fuck.” But the nose is bad now. I could get a brain infection. If I did it, anything would go right to the brain. But again, I heard that six months ago, and I went and used an hour after.

Mandy: So I mean... you must want to die.

Artie: No, I don’t want to die. I want to be high.

Mandy: But that will eventually kill you.

Artie: I’m 50. If you would have told me in 1995, if you tried to bring up “2018,” it would be like The Jetsons. I’d be like, “What are you talking about?”

Mandy: So you’re having fun on borrowed time.

Artie: I’m playing with the house’s money. As far as I’m concerned, I’m an overachiever. A lot of money changed hands on the internet when I turned 50. I was so happy. Fuck ’em all.

Mandy: But I mean... your mom and your sister. They’re the main people who keep you from wanting to to be reckless with the house’s money, right?

Artie: Yes that’s the... that’s the worst.

Mandy: I called your mom when you were practically in a coma these last few weeks, and her voice was just so heartbroken. I don’t think she thought you were going to make it.

Artie: Yeah, you know, my father left us with nothing. I love my dad. He was my best friend. But my father was a criminal. My dad was an impulsive guy, and that’s what killed him. Just like my father, with me, there are real high highs and real low lows. Like my mother saw me at Carnegie Hall, when my book went to No. 1 on The New York Times bestseller list, and I think Obama’s was like No. 7. She has that framed. But then she’s also seen me withdrawing in jail.

god fucking dammit

Artie: No, I don’t talk to Howard. We hate each other’s guts. He can’t stand me for some reason, and I’ve learned to hate him.

Thanks for The link flappy

I’m in the hospital. Just got hold of a phone. Congrats Philly. The 2 best Cities for me could be Boston & Philadelphia. Pats got a bunch a rings. The loyal ppl in Brotherly Love Town. Enjoy. Don’t fuckin Kill anybody. Plus only 7 minutes til Crashing!

— Artie Lange (@artiequitter) February 5, 2018

https://youtu.be/k7-DP-FYWqI

rehab again, levy going too

god bless ye baby gorilla

https://i.imgur.com/r1TLs2L.jpg

Not pictured: Hawaiian Punch and vodka in a 16 oz red plastic cup

He gets to stay out of jail this time at least

Wah, my nose

HFS that photo is not doctored!?

Shakey don’t google Daniella Westbrook

So brutal

I don’t even know wtf is going on there. Cocaine dissolving pretty much all cartilage?

Or additives to it, and friction from snorting various things, yes.

I mean we’ve all seen addicts at their near worst, but that’s... kind of a new thing in my experience.

circa 1916 don’t google Daniella Westbrook

The "I accidentally snorted glass" story from a couple years ago I guess was true

Fall ‘19 looking like a good time for baby gorilla

Great to be home! 7 months 14 days sober but one day at a time. Lots of new stories to tell. Will announce some new tour dates on Friday. Thanks for the support. Love you all. pic.twitter.com/vkdN7gMCSI

— Artie Lange (@artiequitter) September 10, 2019

holy shit, good for him

Yeah. Stunned.

Hoping for the best. I'd see him if he comes thru

Exactly 8 months clean and sober today guys. I love u all for giving me yet another shot. You’re my extended family. My amazing fans. One day at a time. Peace. pic.twitter.com/lopduct42B

— Artie Lange (@artiequitter) September 30, 2019

He looks like some sort of Jim Henson studio Burt Reynolds puppet with its nose pressed against a windowpane.

I wonder if baby gorilla is at the Yankees game tonight and if he’s considering a relapse considering

it's really saying something that you can that picture and be....hey Artie's looking better

right

Goddamn that would be so cool though if he really does make it

https://i.redd.it/pdrqpycdt0t31.jpg

Is that Lisa G?

yes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjMGOaDPav8

always nervous about revives on this thread tbh

Great reunion with fat Joe
Liked hearing the Mitch stuff near the end
Harrowing tales about getting into cabs in unknown cities and trying to score

Artie makes an antipast order
https://vimeo.com/372697342