Does the entire Innocent Smoothies aesthetic strike you as deeply fucking irritating?

it caused me vaguely irritably to read the whole thing when i passed it on the bus (which was stopped at that point): so i guess job done!

"hey, maybe you stopped to say just the word 'look' at this wall, thinking it's something you know nothing about and hence could be interesting. well it's not, it's an ad for some fucking oat milk. did you take a photo of it too? you fucking idiot. anyway drink our oat milk."

"oat milk, filling the gaping empty holes riddled through your terrible eternal tourist existence"

i mean to be fair however they advertise this it has to conclude "drink our oat milk" and since that's the actual problem moment for most people they might as well go for broke

like jonathan glazer's ad for flake (not used):
https://vimeo.com/21190241

these self-aware, faux-cringingly-apologetic ads are a fucking scourge

it also looks like it was designed by someone who’s never actually seen any street art, so it even fails on its own terms ffs

yeah the font just looks like bakery product #1

a better ad would be "continue to consume oats" with an image depicting a vast trough with people bent double over it, desperately scooping oat milk into their mouth with their hands

maybe a factory full of grinning workers, each squeezing an oat between their thumb and forefinger to express the oats’ sweet, precious milk

WE SQUEEZE TO PLEASE

brb gonna hang myself

"ah, the day is nearly done" printed over a happy exhausted pile of people resting after a day squeezing oats by hands to extract their precious milk

Oats Until You Die 👍

these self-aware, faux-cringingly-apologetic ads are a fucking scourge

Somebody (maybe Verizon?) had an ad that said something like "you already know we have the best coverage, so here's a picture of a kitty."

i feel like this belongs here

Fair play to Next, for creating clothing so incredibly cringeworthy and offensively twee that I dearly wish Kim Jong Un gets a fucking move on and ends us all pic.twitter.com/k7npzUmHJw

— Nooruddean (@BeardedGenius) December 3, 2017

https://img1.etsystatic.com/211/2/10540815/il_340x270.1341518701_or7x.jpg

http://i0.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/facebook/000/001/368/i-am-error.jpg

I lolled

Boss: and you're sure you know the names of all the vegetables?
Sign maker on his 1st day: ...yes pic.twitter.com/AbS5WzhmTM

— Adam Hess (@adamhess1) December 5, 2017

Boss: "OK, let's negotiate your celery."

that We Buy Any Car Philip Schofield shite

today i learned that perpetually-irritating beer salesmen brewdog's crowdfunded expansion programme is called 'equity for punks' and now i want to kill myself

definitely not overvalued either

http://www.heraldscotland.com/business_hq/company_news/15826190.Brewdog_claims___1_8_billion_value_as_latest_fan_fundraiser_hits_target/

sure, why not, nothing means anything anymore

that brewdog stuff is stocked everywhere, but I've never actually seen anyone drinking it. I had some on a train once and thought it was overpriced piss in a small can. For £2.57 Asda sell 4 packs of continental style lager in small cans that is much superior.

i've had some of their punk ipa and it's fine i guess but it's called 'punk ipa' ffs

It's called punk IPA and it's subtitled "a post-modern brew" or some shit

Their beer is terrible imo

here are the founders of brewdog fyi

https://digitalnewsroom.media/uploads/2014/01/Martin-and-James-logo.jpg

one of their pubs is just round the corner from where i work and the windows look v smashable

Brewdog beer is pretty good but there are literally hundreds of beers that taste broadly like that now and their entire brand image is abysmal. They have a (virtually) zero alcohol beer called Nanny State, which should tell you everything.

Unfortunately it's the only stuff like that you can get in Sainsbury's and a lot of local off-licenses.

I was bought a bottle of Punk IPA for my birthday once so I acted grateful and later drank it and I thought it was ok but no way would I buy this nonsense

Brewdog beer is pretty good but there are literally hundreds of beers that taste broadly like that now and their entire brand image is abysmal.

yeah, that

They've been around so long now they should be well into the Plaintively Whining About Where Is The New Punk IPA phase by now.

My friend was raving about how delicious their "Elvis juice" is so I got a pint and it tastes like fucking rancid lilt

elvis... juice?

Yeah I don't even wanna know their process there

i wonder how many brands' sales would plummet if you were forced to put a photograph of the owners on all yr merchandise

An American IPA with a bitter edge that will push your citrus tolerance to the brink and back; Elvis Juice is loaded with tart pithy grapefruit peel. This IPA has a caramel malt base, supporting a full frontal citrus overload - grapefruit peel piled on top of intense us aroma hops. Waves of crashing pine, orange and grapefruit round out this citrus infused IPA.

'fucking rancid lilt' seems v otm, keep your fucking fruit out of my beer u shits

I almost feel proud that their shit often ends up on the reductions section in my local Onestop. If it isn't Stella or high strength cider in a blue bottle, local pissheads aren't going to extra to be "punks".

I have had some citrus-y beers recently and quite liked them. I also like that banana beer you can get in supermarkets. I am a disgusting savage. Haven't tried Brewdog one though because fuck Brewdog.

yeah I wd drink a grapefruit beer that wasn't punk

Grapefruit wtf? I thought Elvis was more into peanut butter and bacon

i realised last year that my preference for coffee- or chocolate-flavoured stouts and plus früüüli was bcz i actually don't really like beer at all but do like chocolate, coffee and strawberries

lots of lagers taste like banana anyway, apparently someone called esther is responsible (this is my attempt at a smoothie-aesthetic joke obv)

Fruit beer is mostly rank and there's some woeful stunty crap available these days but a dark beer w2ith coffee or chocolate in there is a wonderful thing. I had a chocolate milk stout on New Year's Eve that was astonishing.

lager definitely improved with fruit flavour

obv tho I am largely about the drunkening rather than the taking my palate for an adventure

That German rasperry beer that is sold in bottles delightfully wrapped in paper, I think it is called Bacchus, that is some nice shit and as aesthetically pleasing as bottled beer can get imo.

litre of Radler on a summer's day FTW

Re drunkening you can get 4 bottles of 6.5/7% ales for £6 in Morrisons and I don't think I've had one I didn't like, so I'm probably not the most sophisticated beer drinker.

Had a couple of coffee-flavour beers recently, an ale and a porter, didn't really like the ale but the porter was quite good. Helps that I really like porter in general probably.

Nasty over hopped pish which sadly makes it to Australia where it is indistinguishable from the rest of the nasty over hopped pish that is craft beer. It’s probably for the best I don’t really drink beer any more.