Favorite lines from Seinfeld?

i watched the sponge worthy episode when i was 11, I didn't get it.

and understanding about the pill and condoms it really put my head in a wtf position, where and how did a sponge come in to this?

^otm. forgot about that one.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Babka

"Not to be confused with vodka"

KRAMER: "You know you really shouldn't brush 24 hours before seeing the dentist."

JERRY: "I think that's eat 24 hours before surgery."

KRAMER: "Oh no, you got to eat before surgery, you need your strength."

funny one where George and Jerry are discussing the term 'Manslaughter' and how it sounds too vicious for it's definition. They try and come up with alternative names and Jerry's was "I can't believe it's not murder"

the whole riff about gay guys and "equipment"

Jerry's women are always smokin'

"Sweet fancy Moses!"

it's amazing that I have probably seen every single episode of Seinfeld but I can't recite a single direct quote from it.

[George's parents having dinner with Susan's parents]

FRANK: Let me understand, you got the hen, the chicken and the rooster. The
rooster goes with the chicken. So, who's having sex with the hen?
GEORGE: Why don't we talk about it another time.
FRANK: But you see my point here? You only hear of a hen, a rooster and a
chicken. Something's missing!
MRS. ROSS: Something's missing all right.
MR. ROSS: They're all chickens. The rooster has sex with all of them.
FRANK: That's perverse!

[after the nyu story about jerry & george being gay gets picked up by the AP]

jerry: "i've been outed! and i wasn't even in!"

chain-smoking stenographer from staten island

"I'm gonna make people feel my gonorrhea!"

Also from that episode:

"It's like those hip musicians with their complicated shoes!"

Jerry: Hey, Puddy's here
Elaine: My Puddy? But we broke up?
Jerry: And yet he continues to live

From The Little Jerry:

GEORGE (sadly): It's over, Jerry. She's gettin' out.
JERRY: Ah, I'm so sorry.
GEORGE: She's been locked up for two years. She's gonna want to make up for lost time. Dinners. Movies. <Rubs his forehead.> Talking...
JERRY: In other words, a normal relationship.
GEORGE: And that's no good. I've tried it straight, Jerry. We've all seen the results. For me, sick is the only way to go.
JERRY: Well, she'll still be an ex-con.
GEORGE: It's not the same.
JERRY: Hey, if you two are meant to be together...I'm sure the cops'll pick her up on something.

I just wrote this on the 'king of research' thread:

Hey here's the final question.

In the film 'City Slickers', there's a guy who looks like Newman (from Seinfeld)

What's the episode where he's in Seinfeld and light is made of his resemblance to Newman?

― ambience chaser (S-), Friday, 19 June 2009 14:46 (4 days ago) Permalink

"The Big Salad"

― Bianca Jagger (jaymc), Friday, 19 June 2009 14:54 (4 days ago)

and JAYMC IS WRONG!

Can anybody help me?

label maker?

a total guess btw, just because newman features in it as one of the other superbowl ticket holders.

nah, watched that recently also. Perhaps it never occurred? Is there any episode with a Newman lookalike?

i must admit, i've watched Seinfeld so many times and don't recall anything on this. There's bizarro jerry episode with the bizarro newman.

what's the guys name in city slicker anyway ?

also, there's the Bottle Deposit episode where Newman finds himself at the farm house. When he leaves the woman shouts out "i love you Norman"

wasn't there an animal called Norman in City Slickers

Yeah I know, reeeeach.

celebrate the Neumanium!

You can watch most of the show here: http://tv.blinkx.com/show/seinfeld/gJRwRbfED2DPE4RN and it is indeed a wild ride!

The one where Kramer is a communist Santa Claus is a very funny episode with a feel-good ending.

this is bizarro Newman: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0489052/

have no idea who from City Slickers looked like Newman...thought maybe one of the Ben & Jerry-type characters but neither of them were on Seinfeld.

Josh Mostel

it's like the hundredth time i've caught this episode (or parts of it) and it was the first time i noticed that during the final bit, when the bizarro men, kevin, gene, and feldman are having a group hug, kevin says "me so happy, me could cry." like bizarro superman!

― andrew m. (andrewmorgan), Friday, December 23, 2005 12:51 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

lol i just came here to post "me so happy, me want to cry." that line always gets stuck in my head.

What's weird is that these lines, when I read them, all sound pretty funny, but when I actually watch the show I don't laugh.

Seinfeld lines/references that you didn't get as a kid but now understand. I watched the show from a young age and there are often some pretty highbrow/obscure references, but most of the ones I didn't get aren't so highbrow, but rather outdated/NY-based/Jewish stuff that was unknown to me growing up in Northern CA...

― DJ Mr. Face Stabba, M.D. (Whitey on the Moon), Thursday, May 14, 2009 5:19 PM (3 months ago)

In the episode where George doesn't want to give susan his atm code, first off I had never heard of BOSCO but they explained it. But more importantly, what kind of a bank card has words insted of a 4 digit pin?

*passwords that is

"The Rogue's Wallet. That's where he kept his card, his dirty little secret. Short, devious, balding. His name was Costanza. He killed my mother."

George, George, this is a little bit too much for me, escaped convicts, fugitive sex...I got a cockfight to focus on.

Just the way Robert Wagner says "Hey Kramer" when he passes him at Mickey's wedding (the anti-dentite episode). I have no idea why. If the laugh track's legitimate, it seems to have cracked up the audience, too.

"all i want is my seventy-five cents back, an apology, and for him to be fired."

one of my favourite observations from Seinfeld was his office colleagues greetings bit, and how after you've greeted the same person several times in one day you're eventually running out of ways of saying hello, so you end up greeting them with funny nicknames.

It's a hot night. The mind races. You think about your knife, the only friend who hasn't betrayed you, the only friend who won't be dead by sunup. Sleep tight, mates, in your quilted chambray nightshirts.

GEORGE: I know. I can tell. It's one of my powers. Why, did you ever fake?

ELAINE: Of course.

JERRY: Really?

GEORGE: You faked?

ELAINE: On occasion.

JERRY: And the guy never knows?

ELAINE: No.

JERRY: How can he not know that?

ELAINE: Because I was gooood.

JERRY: I guess after that many beers he's probably a little groggy anyway.

(Jerry and George laugh)

ELAINE: You didn't know.

^^^ last one is the single best line reading on the show

"The very pants I was returning. That's perfect irony!"

Well let's start the insanity.

"Hi. Would you be interested in switching over to TMI Long Distance service?"
"Oh, gee, I can't talk right now. Why don't you give me your home number and I'll call you later."
"Uh, sorry, we're not allowed to do that."
"Oh, I guess you don't want people calling you at home."
"No."
"Well, now you know how I feel."

lol @ tmi long distance!

"I think that milk's gone bad"
"I don't care."

[Kramer and Jerry discussing whether their accountant is using drugs]

Jerry: Look, it doesn't necessarily mean anything yet, it just means he was sniffing.
Kramer: Well, what else? Was he nervous? Did he use a lot of slang? Did he use the word 'man'?
Jerry: No, he didn't use 'man'.
Kramer: I mean when he was leaving did he say "I'm splittin' "?
Jerry: No, but at one point he did use the bathroom.
Kramer [freaks out]: Whoh!

It's a hot night. The mind races. You think about your knife, the only friend who hasn't betrayed you, the only friend who won't be dead by sunup. Sleep tight, mates, in your quilted chambray nightshirts.

♥

George trying to be funny:
"Toasting makes me uncomfortable. But toast, I love. Never start the
day without a good piece of toast. In fact, let's toast to toast."

lol

"And it's called the World Wide Web, you can email anybody!"
"What are you a scientist?"

"so attractive one day, not attractive the next?"
"yeah, have you come across this?"
"I'm familiar with this syndrome. She's a two-face"
"Like the batman villain?"
"If that helps you"