start a victory garden and ration your IRRATIONALLY ANGRY feelings, part 3

<3

Better than photos of apple stock tbf

You mean they think the rest of the world is like the U.S.

Canadians already had their Thanksgiving weeks ago.

oh yes of course

this is infinitely dumber and far less hilarious than christmas day, when they send me stock photos of an apple

OK what. Why?

there’s a pun that doesn’t work in english (and tbh barely works in chinese) where part of the word for christmas eve (平安夜) is sort-of-but-not-really like the word for apple (苹果), and at some point a billion people missed the pun and got the idea we give out apples at christmas

i found this out the hard way, after a not-insignificant number of chinese people sent me photos of apples all at the same time

even weirder is when you go to a major chinese shopping mall in december and there’s a giant purple xmas tree out the front

yes

purple

Every time I see an SUV or a “crossover” with matte black paint I want to hulk out just enough to flip it over into the middle of the nearest golf course, preferably the 11th hole or so.

IA at myself:

whenever i plan a dinner party ie Thanksgiving or Christmas w family, the menu seems fine right up until the day & then I spin into a full mental panic of self doubt & self loathing
THERES NOT ENOUGH
THIS SUCKS GROSS UGH NO
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

etc

it’s the worst & it drives me insane. stupid brain

it means you're a good host

or a nutter

bmw logos
mercedes logos
lexus logos

.. the list grows

VG i do the same anytime i make something someone else will eat. i'm a good cook, but i'm also a complete nutcase.

i ran out & bought salad fixings 2 hours before guests arrived bcz of my total blind panic

but whole Thanksgiving “dinner party” lasted 2 hrs tops & was perfectly enjoyable in every way, ppl ate the salad but i dont think it made much difference lol

dude posted his Gofundme again. he wants to raise $1,500 due to his car accident, because he states his car was left undrivable and without it, he can't work his second job.

Except he still hasn't stated what the money is for. Presumably his car insurance would pay for the car repairs, and I can't imagine he has a $1,500 deductible (many lienholders won't even let you have a deductible that high). Usually insurance provides a rental car, though maybe he did not elect that on his policy. Is it the deductible? A rental car? Lost wages?

I don't know the guy really or I'd ask him (he's more a friend of a friend) but just irks me when people aren't specific.

After 2 years Firefox on my phone has decided to change around the order of the tabs on my home page.

I was just in a public bathroom--

opened the door and it hit into a dude standing there looking and his phone

another guy standing blocking the sink looking at his phone

another guy standing blocking the paper towel dispenser looking at his phone

like unless there's another 9/11 going on right now you dudes can (mumble mumble)

those people who corner you at work social events and begin their small-talk torture with "so what's the adam story?"

the adam story is fuck off

once upon a time there was a oh is that the time the end

VG, Life Coach.

imo anyone who refers to you in the third person while they’re talking to you is a fuckduster

once upon a time there was a oh is that the time the end

oh wait the adam story is in the car, i’ll just pop out and get it *runs forever*

you know, it’s really the story of someone who is done talking

Is there a temperature at which blu tak fails or something. Just hsd a couple of posters taht i've had up for years drop off the wall unexpectedly.
Or maybe a difference in temperature between 2 sides of a wall.
Seems to happen when the temperature drops.

the people upstairs who are selling their flat turn up every night at 10.30 pm and pace in heels constantly for 2+ hours. this has been going on for two weeks. today they've decided to start at lunch time and are just walking up and down, up and down, up and down.

"Use ctrl + scroll to zoom the map"

also mac shortcuts that are like "⌘⇧⌥⌃G". i've been using a mac for seven years and i still can't remember what every one of these dumb symbols mean.

command shift option control

G means G, G

i mean i remember seeing “G” but it doesn’t come up all that often

for superusers

The touchpad on my laptop has a really sensitive zoom function, so everything constantly re-sizes randomly. It's very obnoxious and angry-making.

also mac shortcuts that are like "⌘⇧⌥⌃G". i've been using a mac for seven years and i still can't remember what every one of these dumb symbols mean

⌥ and ⌃ are not though

https://i.stack.imgur.com/3jP4k.jpg

just looking now, maybe it's just on imacs or something. none of our macbooks have the symbols on the keys, apart from ⌘

people who leave dishes in the sink

either clean them or don't, no need to block the sink with that shit

otm

Yeah a dirty dish is just as dirty in the sink as it was on the table

people do this in offices, like some big magical dish-washing sky god will come along and clean it all up

otm x 10000

xxxxp
https://i.imgur.com/7jOI37v.jpg

ours don’t have that on the keys

https://i.imgur.com/cOjT8d1.jpg

#NotEveryKeyboard

command+food+snot

the silent apartheid of Apple keys

(and the Windows pandering of "alt" on the option key)

TS: Alt-country vs. Ctrl-country vs. Shift-country vs. Conjunction Junction what's your Function-country

“command-country” sounds like it should be an alt right group

Okay, here goes. This is an attempt at a phenomenon that has made me irrationally angry since I was a teenager.

When I was a teenager eating in casual restaurants with my family, I would become angry whenever a menu or a waiter would say something like "...And it's served with our signature sauce." Our. Ours. I can't really even articulate why it made/makes me mad. It seems, on some level, lazy and imprecise language usage (shouldn't it just be "signature sauce" if there is no question who is serving it or who produces it?) and on another level a kind of crass attempt at corporate bonhomie, forcing some poor person who is barely making enough to live on to act out the role of being a longterm representative of friendly family business, or trying to make that same claim to familiarity and innocuousness in writing on a menu. When I worked for chain restaurants and retail I used the term "the" not "our." There's no way I'm going to say "we" or "our" for a company in which I am essentially an interchangeable cash register operator.*

I was watching some cooking videos on YouTube the other day and someone said "Now let's preheat our oven" and got very triggered. IT'S YOUR OVEN. IT'S NOT OUR OVEN. I HAVE NO IDEA WHO YOU ARE AND I AM CERTAINLY NOT A CO-OWNER, EVEN IN SOME METAPHYSICAL SENSE, OF YOUR OVEN. "Now let's take half of our cheese and add it to the mixture." GET FUCKED!

*Note that I have already considered the parallel case of sports fans who refer metonymically to their team, club, and all its fans as "We." This is a little different since the affiliation is clearly established and there is some sort of common purpose attached. I'm aware that, on some level, being a fan of a sports team simply means you are a customer of that entertainment product in the same way that you are a customer of "our signature sauce" at Chili's or whatever, but the fact that egregious use of "our" is so hardcoded into the language of mediocre chain restaurants is so, so much more galling to me than a group of fans who get together to commonly hope for glory for a sports team...