no boys allowed in the room!!!!

true

the language tho is hella boring

i wanna move past this woke-language era into the era where ppl dont sound like they are chairing a local collective

LL kudos for representing in the masculinity thread! Which is mostly dudes talking with other dudes about women's experiences.

I mean in general I think it is a good thing, but for my particular ilx enjoyment it has become more of the same of the same of the same of the everything and I'm just tired of it.

also "have you ever masturbated in front of a woman" is stuck in my bookmarks after I made a bad move that I regretted several posts later. So now I see it every damn time I open SNA and blech.

yeah that masturbating thread was a real u_u moment jfc

is mansplaining about mansplaining to men = meta-mansplaining or?

haha! i told a friend of mine (unrelated to ilx in every way) that i was talking about toxic masculinity with men in an online forum and she was like "you're what now!?!"
i appreciate finally being given air to breathe and space to speak. i am not a loud person, i hate twitter, and i do not enjoy the sensation of talking to a wall. but if people actually listen to me? that's different. it's more like work (i am a teacher, lol) but it's also marginally more productive.

i don't really understand what that masturbation thread was about. also, i've been wondering if it's ok about to speak up about the misdeeds of the recently deceased.

i feel a much deeper need now more than ever for some good posi threads that i can rely on for just good conversation bcz SO much of the day to day is confronting & horrifying

but I do like digging in on serious stuff that i feel strongly abt, like the Weinstein thread has become a project, a bit like the Runaways thread before. but the serious stuff takes a lot out of me so i dont do it a lot.

i def have legit pollyanna tendencies, where if i start feeling gross & sad & angry i have to counterbalance with light fun good things bcz i am afraid i’ll just spiral into a breakdown otherwise.

like my whole steez of “being VG” in ilx is kinda therapeutic even though i know i seem like a corny keep it posi cliche
i ~need~ to be silly and yell about dumb shit bcz if i dont i will be basement girl hoarding canned food and writing emo journals forever.

Keep on VGing,VG! Unless you don't feel like it and then do whatever. But light fun good things and lolz plus interesting stuff abt stuff that doesn't just reiterate my daily existence--that's where ilx is most valuable to me at this time in my life.

In other news, I think I am perimenopausal? Ain't got a uterus so can't really say based on periods. I was telling my boss (a 50-something RN) that I was having trouble with words being stuck on the tip of my tongue. I was like "I asked my PCP if I needed to go to a neurologist and he said 'no'" and she's all "yeah that's just menopause." Oddly comforting and perhaps completely inaccurate, but I'll grab on to the comforting.

i have been getting numb in my butt simetimes & apparently it is menopausal symptom but i am still riding the red rag so idk wtf is going on.

being in 40’s is weird

I was convinced I was peri or actually menopausal, I had all the syptoms - I wake at night hot and sweaty, I'm often overheated at work, I've become ragingly angry and anxious about everything (which is leading to other self esteem issues but thats another story), I've put on weight, I've no libdo bla bla bla....

... nope. I still has eggs and I still has the right hormones apparently. RARGH what is wrong with me then!? Im considering getting this implanon removed even though it has been AWESOME having no period for the last 2 years.

(I assume as usual this'll bring the thread to a screaming halt, I seem good at doing that here :( )

<3 no way

feel like our bodies are so nuts at this age that who tf knows whats menopause & whats just arrrg general arrrg

v confusing!!

Yeah aging is a *blast*. I got up just now from my desk and both my knees pinged with pain so fiercely I almost fell over lol.

Doesnt help that this weird clumsiness just results in B laughing at me grr :(

lol :/

I'm taking the viewpoint that aging is preferable to the alternative, yah?

It's not our aging female bodies that are a problem, it is the idea that 1) aging and 2) female bodies doing it are a "problem"

Yes indeed. I'm trying to be ok with having a middle aged body now, its hard. I should just enjoy not having to GAF anymore.

I was telling my boss (a 50-something RN) that I was having trouble with words being stuck on the tip of my tongue. I was like "I asked my PCP if I needed to go to a neurologist and he said 'no'" and she's all "yeah that's just menopause

I went into a new store recently and one of the first questions the owner asked was if I have children which, ugh, whatever, but her followup "oh, well, you're young" which NOPE. And this isn't the first time some variation on this has happened.

worst

xpost I look back on my 20-something brain and think damn, girl.

If I had to learn organic chemistry now I'd be fucked. But compared to 23, at 43 I'm better at a lot of things that I most value

But compared to 23, at 43 I'm better at a lot of things that I most value

Shit yeah. I had a meeting with a client/friend this afternoon, and he said I work really hard, and I said, I don't feel like I do ... nowhere near as much as I used to, and he said, well, we're older now, it's okay.

And then I thought about it, and a lot of that is that the work is easier -- it's this weird feeling of knowing pretty much exactly how to do what I need to do. It's this odd gracefulness, esp. now at my newish job (I've been there 1 1/2 yrs), where almost everyone else is younger than me. ... otoh, a lot of it is "young ppl work" and I'm kinda feeling burnt out, and thinking about changing careers -- lol.

however, at 43, one thing I'm less good at that I value is seeing clearly out of my right eye. So, I get to join the ranks of wearers of glasses.

https://www.bitchmedia.org/article/fragility-body-positivity

that confirmed some of my feelings about being sold stuff, esp as a woman
i enjoyed looking at some of the other pieces in the series on fragility
it's an interesting theme

speaking of bodies and clothes, i really enjoyed this article -- honk if you have ever dressed in a way that is intentionally unflattering so that pigs would leave you alone
https://www.chicagoreader.com/chicago/womens-fashion-history-rational-dress-society-universal-standard/Content?oid=36044487

I feel like more and more of a fraud every time I post on this thread (but it is technically, the "no boys" thread, and I am no boy) but this, on the demonisation of women and gossip:

https://tankmagazine.com/issue-70/features/hannah-black/

And this thread, from the author, of the political context of the book which inspired it:

gonna share some quotes from silvia federici's book caliban and the witch, about the genesis of capitalist patriarchy, that this lil essay is based on https://t.co/ElxxbHrWVa

— hanni b (@nanpansky) January 11, 2018

feel really important and urgent and even key, at this time and many others.

have I missed it or has there been no notice/acknowledgment of dramatic drop off in chixor presence on ilx

not to take away at all from stalwart women posters!

I may be wrong because I stick with my biased bookmarks

what is up, i dunno

hallo! yep noticed it as well

Oh we've definitely noticed and talked about it within the last couple months though I can't remember on which thread. It makes me sad and is absolutely one of the reasons I post less, I think.

some prominent women posters have been gone for a very long time
others have disappeared in the last year or two
still more continue to post periodically
a handful post regularly

honestly idk that proportionally the # of women posters who have departed has been greater than the # of men who have stopped posting, it's just more noticeable because there were fewer women posters to begin with

Hello broads and other not-boys.

Should I quit my job or wait until I get fired? I have nothing lined up except volunteer work.

Last fall the new CEO told the managers he wants everyone to drink the Kool-Aid, and am tempted to hand in a picture of Jonestown as my resignation.

Also tempted to leave saying "MISS VANJIE"

lol yes

if you are truly deeply miserable, quit
if you can weather the ennui, stay. then again getting fired is no picnic... shrug

I quit my job without something else lined up.

Thought I had a new job in the bag after what I thought was a great interview two weeks ago. They said they'd let me know last week. The week came and went, no return phone call from recruiter or return e-mail from the hiring manager.

Rude!

Tokyo, are you still in NJ? You should try to get fired/volunteer to be laid-off for better chances of severance/unemployment.

i don't have the energy to post but i'm here

Not that many threads interest me tbh? I read the politics threadz for my own information and check on a few others, but mostly I'm busy, stressed, tired, over-stimulated already. Hi though!

quincie: super rude!

Yerac: I'm in NY. I don't think I'd get severence and applying for unemployment seems like so much work!

After 14 years NOW they are taking wearing the official uniform seriously? And no fun colors for nails? NO THANKS.

I kind of love applying for jobs while I already have another job; my anger at a current jobs motivates me. And then I accept interviews not even wanting the job and one thing leads to another. Start looking now.

"I quit my job without something else lined up.

Thought I had a new job in the bag after what I thought was a great interview two weeks ago. They said they'd let me know last week. The week came and went, no return phone call from recruiter or return e-mail from the hiring manager.

Rude!

― mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Sunday, May 6, 2018 5:10 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink"

SAME. It's so frustrating, right? The recruiter I'm working through hasn't heard from the company and keeps saying she hopes she'll know something soon. :/

Apparently I am naive and did not know that ghosting was a thing in these situations. I mean, the hiring manager basically asked me how soon I could start and said "HUG!" and hugged me goodbye???

WTF.

Yeah the HR woman LOVED me and I got a note back from one of the people I met with saying she hoped to be working with me soon and then nothing. So weird. I was pretty excited about this place too. :/

Several times I've gone back to a company 3 times and spent the equivalent of 8 hours meeting people and been basically told that they would see me soon. And then ghost. Not even a template "we have decided on another candidate" email. It's pretty bad all around.

One week late though isn't terrible. Sometimes with vacations etc. it takes awhile to get proper approvals for hirings/salary. And if it's a large company and all the hiring approvals are systematically routed sometimes they get stuck/lost in the system. So fingers crossed still!

^ That is exactly what the recruiter said to me so we'll see.

yeah some companies take forever to do anything. I got a rejection email a month and a half after taking an online personality test with this one company, and all i could think was jfc i’d hate to see what their turnaround was for a candidate they DO like.

but yeah ghosting is all too common which sucks