Worst Fifth Film In A Series

this reminds me i need to watch Muppet Treasure Island

woah Benji Off the Leash! sounds cool.

imo there is one movie that stands out as especially bad. Attack of the Crappy Piece of Crap

https://media.giphy.com/media/xUOxfkmCK61h7NvsLS/giphy.gif

muppet treasure island is pleasant! watched it with a friend who treasures it as a childhood touchstone but i enjoyed it fine myself as a neophyte. if you like the muppets there's plenty to like though it naturally doesn't touch the heights of the first two.

successes: fast five, MI: rogue nation, x-men first class, you only live twice (roald dahl script!), prometheus (yeah i went there)
failures: diary of the dead, jason bourne, terminator genisys, superman returns
fiascos: star trek V, star wars II

I think I'll go with trek this time.

Pretty much called it in the other thread: Seed of Chucky (the best, indisputably), MI5, and Harry Potter.

nb, I wouldn't really count First Class, which was decent but was for all intents and purposes a soft reboot of the franchise.

Ernest Rides Again appears to be the anglophile entry in the series?

After discovering an antique metal plate near a construction site, Ernest shows it to Dr. Melon who believes that it came from a giant Revolutionary War cannon called "Goliath", (named after the legendary biblical giant). Dr. Melon had previously been ridiculed by his peers for theorizing that the real Crown Jewels of England were stolen during the Revolutionary War and were actually hidden inside the long-lost cannon.

Ernest realizes that Dr. Melon has saved his life and they both realize that they have gone from being adversaries to friends. At the same time, British authorities arrive and explain to Ernest that the crown must be taken back to its rightful home. He explains that it won't come off his head and the authorities declare that whoever wears it is King of England. Fortunately for him (and England), Dr. Melon removes it for him by joking him about what is on his shirt, flicking him in the face. It causes it to fall off his head while everyone laughs. This is followed by him giving Dr. Melon a noogie while they argue about who would make a better king of England.

i wouldn't have counted First Class when it came out, but then they did the crossover one with a bunch of the old cast so it felt like a different thing, retroactively. and anyway i mean, i counted jurassic world.

AoTC is barely a movie and time has not been kind to its effects and, well, anything about it. OTOH i remember leaving the theater not feeling ripped off. i was at a point in my personal development where horrendous things like the yoda fight played as 'fun' and i similarly remember thinking the obi-wan plot felt kinda interesting. nowadays it seems clear that it's a shit mystery that he solves in a shit fashion, with shit for consequences, but it temporarily created the vague impression that you were watching a movie and i thought ewan did a nice job. the shitty blocking and fake backgrounds and flatness of the lighting alone though makes this arguably the least appealing of the prequels on a visual level. whereas i've written thousands of words on ILM about how bad prometheus is but it certainly LOOKS better than most of the films here. care and energy and invention were put into things. just not the script.

but i mean star trek v is just nails on a chalkboard the entire time IIRC. AND it's sandwiched between two good ones just to rub it in.

here's a relevant but oddly ordered listicle
http://www.ifc.com/2015/08/best-and-worst-five-entries

lol i love the final frontier

ooh i’m voting for fucking terminator genisys

you only live twice (roald dahl script!)

this movie is poorly paced and racist

absolutely!

Ohhhhhh, I missed that this was a poll for the worst. Whoops. -1 vote for Chucky from final results, plz.

Correct answer is probably Star Trek V: The Dance of Uhura.

Terminator Genisys or Final Frontier

Genisys was fuhuuuuuuuucking garbage

Clones is visually ugly and abysmally acted, but I hated The Phantom Menace more--or it had simply lowered my expectations too much for me to get all that upset about the second prequel film. Voting for the lazy and generic A Good Day to Die Hard, which genuinely feels like an unrelated script that the studio scrambled to barely rewrite to feature John McClane.

The Harry Potter film is one of the gloomier and less enjoyable films in that series, but the Jack Ryan film is a pleasant time-waster (Kenneth Branagh has some hammy fun as the villain, and there's an office break-in scene that's legit exciting). You Only Live Twice is one of the very few Bonds that I still haven't seen.

Special place in my heart for The Dead Pool, because it has this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMh6UjbjgRs

Clones is significantly worse than ShatnerTrek

Voting for the lazy and generic A Good Day to Die Hard, which genuinely feels like an unrelated script that the studio scrambled to barely rewrite to feature John McClane.

Apologies if I’m stepping on your joke, but this is the first one since the original that isn’t actual an unrelated script etc etc. Something I just learned from Wikipedia: it was originally called Die Hard 24/7, and there was talk that it would cross over with 24, including featuring Kiefer Sutherland.

Imagine that pitch!

"It's like Die Hard, but set on a TV Show inspired by Die Hard!"

"Make that show 24, and you got a deal!"

"Ka-Ching!"

benji: off the leash! has the best title.

final frontier is pretty bad as star trek movies go but shatner saying "WHAT DOES GOD NEED WITH A STARSHIP?" is better than anything in any of the star wars prequels.

I've only seen a few of these but voted Final Frontier because it was so soul-crushing. Star Trek IV is one of the first movies I remember and my parents took me to see V in the theater and sweet Jesus it was bad.

Rocky v I mean

How is there a Final Destination 5? It's like if they made Weekend at Bernie's 5.

Also there are apparently EIGHT American Pie films.

Attack of the Clones is an absurd thing. But those Pirates.. movies are the most joyless examples of CGI battle overload you couldn't possibly care about - there's no so-bad-it's-funny element like in AOTC, its too blandly joyless. I haven't seen Dead Men Tell No Tales but tempted to vote for it either way.

this reminds me i need to watch Muppet Treasure Island

― AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Friday, 10 November 2017 14:59 (five hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

never understood the widespread disdain for this film, it's so so funny

I'll also go to bat for Muppet Treasure Island. Haven't seen out in a while, but I worked in a video store where we had to watch children's movies all day and I remember it being among the better ones we had in our rotation.

I've never been into Star Wars but my son likes it so have now sat through all 8 films and those three prequels are just unsalvagable garbage, cannot remember anything about attack of the clones beyond the chase scene at the start and the painfully awkward romance scenes, it may get my vote

Attack of the Clones was even worse than Phantom Menace imo. Voting for that.

sand

it gets everywhere!

Are the Hobbit films ineligible? I suppose they're a separate series to LOTR.

this is attack of the clones vs terminator genisys for me

gonna go with genisys because although every frame of aotc is utter shit, genisys starts with a potentially interesting premise and then proceeds to make the worst imaginable story decisions at every turn - that little glimpse of hope in the first ten minutes or so makes the remaining two hours feel so much worse

Funny how I thought "Attack of the Clones" was not bad when i first saw it, compared to "Phantom Menace". I rewatched the prequels a few years back and at least "Phantom Menace" tries to be fun (and at times succeeds). I'd watch it over AotC any day

Anyway, haven't seen most of these movies but can't imagine anything is worse than Trek 5

how about anything w/ that massive bore Captain Picard?

how dare u

jean-luc picard is a saint

he defeated the borgs!

I downloaded a fan edit of the SW prequels compressed into a single movie with as little Annie and Jar Jar as possible, and it's very enjoyable.

I haven't seen any of the individual prequels since I saw them in the theater, so I really can't judge them fairly.

I can, however, judge Morbs and his very wrong opinions about Picard. Shame on you, sir.

His Star Wars was the best Star Wars.

police academy 5 was a big letdown after all-time series high police academy 4: citizens on patrol

i mean maybe it's good on its own terms but i find it very hard to approach without comparing the two

I very tentatively started rewatching the Police Academy series a few years back and was surprised to find that the first two were actually decent and occasionally funny. That was all over by the third one, though.

I've seen very, very few of these.

I thought Attack of the Clones was far worse than Phantom Menace: after PM didn't provide much more than a basis, I expected Clones to deliver with story progress but it hardly did. I saw the film only once, back then in the cinema, but I've never had any interest in seeing it again. I remember that most of the movie's attention went to the romantic & emotional problems of Anakin Skywalker, as performed by someone who couldn't act.

I've seen the fifth Potter, which was a massive step down from the fourth IMO.

X-Men First Class was pretty great I thought, even if the villains weren't grand.

Seen Bond & pretty sure I've seen all Police Academy movies, I think that's it.

Of the few I know, Clones is definitely the worst.

special shout-out for superman returns, which manages to capture enough of the charm of richard donner's superman movies to make it even more of a slap in the face when our hero is revealed as both a deadbeat dad and a creepy weirdo using his x-ray vision to spy on his ex

Also each of Superman's challenges simply involves lifting a heavier thing than the last one iirc.

Skipped almost all of these.

GOOD
Final Destination 5
Seed of Chucky

MEH
Muppet Treasure Island
A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child
Prometheus
Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones
X-Men: First Class

BAD
Benji: Off the Leash!
Friday the 13th: A New Beginning
A Good Day To Die Hard
Ice Age: Collision Course
Vacation

UGLY
Star Trek V: The Final Frontier

i love that you skipped almost all of these but still found the time to screen benji: off the leash!

That was on assignment.

Voted other, for Scars Of Dracula (arguably the sixth film, if you count Brides Of Dracula, which I don't because Dracula isn't in it), I don't even like it that much but it's still my favourite fifth film.

Poll is for worst though :(

Silly me, forgot the damn title of the thread. I haven't seen a single one of these films in whole and don't intend to.

Goldeneye is the Bond that people roughly around my age (b. 1978) tend to love the most because it is the first one that we would have seen theatrically with our friends instead of watching on TV with our dads (that's exactly my experience, anyway; I'm told the massively popular video game might have had a lot to do with it as well). I watched it again a few years ago and thought it was pretty mediocre--for as much abuse as The World Is Not Enough takes, it has a better villain and more memorable scenes.

train fight in Russia With Love is great, and there are at least two good chases in OHMSS, the best Bond film

― shackling the masses with plastic-wrapped snack picks (sic), Monday, November 13, 2017 2:15 PM (two hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

sic 100 percent otm

cryptosicko you are on my wavelength but i don't think i'm allowed to rep for the world is not enough anymore

anyway sorry for continuing The Indefinite Bond Tangent

this would be a much easier "Best" vote tbh ("Seed of Chucky")

seed of chucky is so fucking good

Attack of the Clones is extremely bad, i had decent memories of the Obi-Wan stuff but watching some of those scenes out of context recently i realized they were only decent compared to the other storylines. i guess the Obi-Wan business came as a relief.

i still remember the single worst part of this film that had the audience in laughter:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DwUAb5EFimQ

i mean everything about this very simple & brief scene, the dialogue exchange and the framing and the movement of the characters, is remarkably terrible.

rogue nation may be the best one here, out of what i've seen. tom cruise always commits to the ethan hunt role, and rebecca ferguson is *amazing*.

otm

I’m pretty sure most of you haven’t seen Battle for the Planet of the Apes or it’d be getting a lot more discussion here. It’s easily the worst of these that I’ve seen.

i have the apes dvd set, and i watched all of them except battle. i quit after 20 minutes.

Goldeneye is the Bond that people roughly around my age (b. 1978) tend to love the most because it is the first one that we would have seen theatrically with our friends instead of watching on TV with our dads

I was born 78 and I've seen every one since Living Daylights in the cinema... (LD is one of my favourites, perhaps not coincidentally)

im def in that Goldeneye ageset. TBS Bond marathons is pretty much how i've seen most of them.

I abhor Brosnan bonds (born in 76) - but i was raised by a Connery loving Mum who barely even tolerated Moore (I personally enjoy Moore btw)

Brosnan is an extremely likable presence and makes a decent Bond, he's kind of halfway between Moore and Dalton for me persona-wise. i don't think those movies are very good overall, though Goldeneye has Sean Bean, one of the best femme fatales, and Martin Campbell does a very good job of directing it. it feels a little lightweight though.

lol yeah my dad hated Moore and thought he turned the series into a joke. i think he had read some of the books so he was always comparing the films to the books. Moore was the least believable as a trained killer secret agent rather than dopey pretty boy movie star

for a second thought you were saying Sean Bean was the femme fatale

I was

o_O

"Sean Bean, one of the best femme fatales" needs to be somebody's username

That Attack Of The Clones clip is actually the edited version that Lucas released on DVD to make that scene less goofy - I can't find a clip of the theatrical version but her "uh-huh" there is instead a perky "yes!"

I was born in 79 and the Brosnan films are precisely why I never got into Bond

"Gather what troops you can, we've got to get to that hangar!"

iirc, Padme also has no reason to know that Dooku was going to a hangar

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

I cannot argue.

poll: how many of these fifth films in a series were you aware existed

i count thirty

monster

very accurate results

I don't hate Genisys, it was stupid action fun. way better than salvation.

that is a very low bar imo

Genisys was only slightly more tolerable than a prostate exam

prostate exam is all over in a couple of minutes so no

With genisys it didn't even matter who you were there with so no

Assuming the one vote for Seed of Chucky was a misunderstanding of the poll topic.

at first I thought this was the Die Hard with my boy Olyphant in it and I was briefly incensed

http://www.benji.com/JoeCamp/ImagesJoe/B&Me-web.jpg

a friend of mine is reading this as research for a "you must remember this" style podcast on Benji. can't wait to hear the real dirt on the troubled shoot for benji: off the leash!

Benji was a total coked-out diva on the set, iirc.

"Oh, Heavenly Dog!" or get out.

omg it got its own thread: Benji: Off the Leash!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NooW_RbfdWI

this is shaping up to look like it coulda been a contender imo

more stuff that was in the crazy sayles script iirc

based on reviews, JURASSIC WORLD: FALLEN KINGDOM seems as if it could either have been a contender in this thread, or a classic case of "the previous one was so bad that nobody even cared that this was worse"

Wow, I figured improving on the last one would've been the easiest thing in the (movie-related) world. Guess trying is still hard.

Worst Sixth Film In A Series