Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

Hi everyone, this year the HR department will distribute a list containing the names and home addresses of all full-time employees to be used for personal Holiday mailings. This list will also include spouses’ names. If you would NOT like to be included on this list, please email your request to _____.

is this weird? i'm sure they mean well but this seems like a bizarre/potentially bad thing to do

I know that heating up fish in the microwave makes the entire office smell like ass and pisses everyone off...but what if this is the time that doesn't happen?

Xp that is fucking weird - it should be an opt-in thing, not an opt-out

Mookie yes that’s weird
It should be opt in, not opt out

Sounds like a well meaning but inexperienced HR dept there

what are "personal Holiday mailings"?

hella weird

like horrifying

Yeah thats not good. What if someone's in a DV situation?

lol it came directly from the vp of hr, who has held that position since the company was founded 17 years ago. also such a list involves at least 1000 people

idk i mean if you want to give someone a christmas card you can like, hand it to them or something

Having to include "spouses' names" seems really weird. I suppose I probably filled in my next of kin somewhere but otherwise that is bizarre that they'd even have that on file

I would never think to send xmas cards to workmates at home, that just... wtf.

Ya, I don’t even send out cards to people I like!

a coworker started a realty business & sent me a flyer at home - i fired off an email to her like don’t *ever* solicit me at home

that's just wrong. we wanted to send flowers to a co worker at home and hr wouldn't give us her address (rightly so)

That would be all kinds of illegal here regardless of opt in/out iirc

"have you had a chance to do that thing that's been blocking me for a week?"
"no. you just need to look at this component"

looks at this component, it is enormous and does many complicated things...

"ok. i think i need to do this, this and this. is that right?"
"yes. but can you hold off a bit because i'm also working on those files"

gah

we have a deadline two weeks from now. i've spent the last week waiting for this thing but the rest of the team has no sense of urgency at all, keep wandering off and doing other things. frustrating.

and why is this component written in 4 different languages?

a coworker started a realty business & sent me a flyer at home - i fired off an email to her like don’t *ever* solicit me at home

once some post addressed to my home address appeared in my pigeonhole at work and I was v v v confused/unnerved

it was some political bumpf pretending to be personal mail, pastel-coloured envelope, fake handwriting font, etc

turned out a coworker I barely know who lived round the corner from me was a paid-up party member delivering leaflets and recognised my name and brought it to work

??

weird.

Posted in wrong forum, re posting.

Can someone give me advice on dealing with a work bully. I'm barely 2 months in a new job and the first day training with this person I was feeling sick, so they said "I don't want to babysit you" and "don't half ass it". In my first hour of training on their desk. Since then I've had this individual ask me if I'm sure I understand things I definitely do to today reaming me out for not knowing something, which I apologized for. So I told them I didn't appreciate the way they were talking to me and that there's better methods. They walked away angry. I get along with everyone else but their tone is notably different with me. There's a bully reporting hotline but that's not usually my style.

Also they go out of their way to correct me and find errors

I think your honesty with them was a start. It's difficult dealing with work bullies because when you're new, you want to lay low and learn the lay of the land first, and not come across as the "sensitive new guy", but the behavior you described is unacceptable bullshit, and somebody in charge needs to know about it.

All I'd do is self-report to your manager/agency that there was an incident, just honestly mention what you said and share your concerns, that you are looking forward to learning the process, but this type of behavior is making it difficult.

Often time work bullies feed on the idea that nobody will challenge them....sorry that you're having to deal with that!

Maybe he resents having to train someone? Some people are ok at their jobs but SHITE at training others with any patience - a few of my workmates can be snippy impatient cunts sometimes.

This is also true. The first time I was promoted it was too soon and i took it out on my learners. Had to be told what an SOB i was being

If that person has productivity goals tied into their work, they might be just spraying the stress of all that onto you

It sounds like the kind of training I got in the commercial laundry I worked in, my first day they'd show me something and basically do everything short of actually stab me if I didn't do it exactly how they showed me and then say 'I'm not your babysitter, you need to figure this out' and I'm like I'VE BEEN HERE AN HOUR AND THESE MACHINES CAN CAUSE PHYSICAL HARM, BACK THE FUCK OFF.

Office is a bit different obviously. But one thing I learned is that the whole shitty bullying training thing is often a pose to make you think their work is more important than it really is. That THEY are more important. Sometimes there might be contributing factors like productivity goals, or huge workloads that you don't know about...and they're spraying that stress onto you.

Call it out. Get them to talk about their actual workday. Sometimes that can be a leveller.

But ultimately, it's their job to train you and if they don't like you asking questions, too fucking bad. That's how you learn. If they don't show you what to do in a way that helps you learn, tell them. If that pisses them off, oh well. That's a them problem, not a you problem.

above all you must remember that your worth as a person and is not measured by how much you struggle to adapt to a new and difficult workplace change.

One thing that helped me deal with the last place I worked was to keep in my head the idea of a "tolerance level" - have a clear idea of what is and isn't acceptable to you, and be firm when calling it out. Because it's otherwise easy to let things pass and slide and then that level adjusts and you find yourself in a far worse position (eg, "I'm really unhappy with how this person spoke to me but I suppose I can let it go this one time" gives them permission to do it again)

^yes, this exactly

Maybe he resents having to train someone? Some people are ok at their jobs but SHITE at training others

Memories of one brief job (two weeks!) spent watching longingly at the other new person being trained one team over. They'd been paired with a bouncy, chatty, fellow who was really excited about the system and knew how it all worked big picture style. I was paired with a (lovely) taciturn fellow who was clearly expert in the job but just ...

I would also add to the advice about the bully - keep a diary with dates and contexts

Thank you everyone, you've made me feel a lot better. I'm still thinking this one through but yeah in regards to productivity goals, this job is very much heads down and work hard and the whole thing runs like a well oiled machine. I like that, just I'm a peaceful guy and definitely agree with the knowing Yr worth angle. Cheers

Just seconding cardamom--document EVERYTHING

Best of luck, Ross, and hope it gets sorted

so I posted for a new position a few weeks ago. a more mundane job, less stress.

so got through the final interview, was told I should hear something very fast, no later than last Friday. Generally, if you get the position, it's a call, usually if you don't, it's an email. I know the drill. Friday comes and goes with...neither. Of course.

I figure Monday, I'll get the rejection email. Nope - still nothing. Sent a polite email to recruiter trying to ask, without prodding, if there was any ETA. No reply.

Today comes and goes, again nothing. Just sitting out here in limbo.

My guess is that they over-promised and under-delivered - having participated in these interviews on the other side before, I know that even after a decision is made, there's lots more to do. and the people to do it are sporadically on PTO due to the holiday.

It's just frustrating as, good news or bad, I just want to know the answer. If I didn't get it, there's potentially another position that caught my interest. And another company in the wings. all my brain wants to do now is overanalyze things - 'oh, they didn't say no, well if you for sure didn't get it, wouldn't they tell you right away?'. almost worse than being rejected!

I have to do something, though, as this current job is *killing* me. Even in a calmer period like now, I am getting stressed out anticipating each new thing that might go wrong. Our client contact is a nasty bully, and instead of providing internal support, our Executives are shitting it back on us. I've given it right back to them but I am just exhausted at this point.

there was actually a time I was wishing to be hospitalized with something relatively minor that would lay me up for a week just so I could escape this project.

Don't wanna be bleak but have you checked your Junk email box?

yeah nothing there - as it's internal email though our junk mail boxes tend to be relatively empty.

I have wondered if the emails have been going to a dude who has a name that is identical to mine within 3 letters who inexplicably is still sent emails intended for me by lazy senders.

Just seconding cardamom--document EVERYTHING

yes. this. even though it is a pain in the ass, and takes extra time and energy away from you. it is your sword and shield.

agreed. so necessary. it's the only way.
to document, send yourself emails (outside of work time) so everything is time-stamped.

not a person i know but on a huge slack channel for the digital parts of the uk government, somebody asked a question seeking a person who could help them in a particular area.

another person replied (and i'm changing the name slightly): "yes, jill smith is your man"

i'm prob not particularly sensitive to sexism but this goes into the realm of the bizarre.

We're having our own Google diversity memo moment here - but with a very much lower quality of debate.

As a manager, you have the option of following up on something an employee is handling by explicitly inquiring about the status, but it's probably more fun to just passive-aggressively ask 'are you behind in your work? do you need help? what's going on?' without even mentioning what prompted the line of questioning in the first place. Particularly when there's already a well-established timeframe for similar tasks which had not been surpassed and also no other attendant issues which might have prompted such a demonstration of 'concern'. Such cool, awesome behavior that totally makes me want to put in anything more than the most perfunctory effort.

How hard is it to update a calendar to clearly indicate when you're on PTO?

Like the fifth meeting I had to reschedule because somebody had undocumented PTO on their calendars.

Christmas music in the office... fucking awful.

I love Christmas but there's no real need to force it into the office, it's about family and friends, and alcohol.

Yes, playing with Christmas decorations is more important than the urgent job I gave you last Wednesday. Of course it is. Yes, a hat with a bell, hahaha.

all of my worst job moments have involved the music which is forced upon you. it's a workers rights issue imo

why I love working from home, lol

still can't stand lena horne thanks to my first retail xmas 23 years ago

I went to the dentist yesterday and they had their radio tuned to the Christmas station instead of their usual soft hits, and it was way worse. I can't imagine having to listen to Christmas tunes all day, every day for a month straight. The worst job I ever had was terrible mainly because they forced me to listen to hits radio all day, so I was subjected to endless Alanis Morissette and Spin Doctors. My wife spent a lot of time working in various clothing chain stores, and she always talks about how sick they would get of the peppy/trendy mixes that they play all day long on repeat.

I don't understand why people want to bring Xmas music into work. Like I get why shops play it into the floor (even if it drives me crazy) but if I'm in a stockroom or office I don't want to hear it. It's so innappropriate too, I know Christmas is barely a religious holiday any more but it bothers me that people want to inflict their religious celebrations upon me as a committed atheist.

workplace music in retail is the worst, it's the mix of anodyne "suitable for work" blandness and constant repetition that will drive you demented.

I've never worked in an office in which any music was played. Is this a common thing? Just seems completely wrong, no matter what kind of music is played.

modern corporate office buildings skew toward white noise machines, most definitely