execrable children's programming pox

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My son flipped the script and indicated that we should do Daddy Daddy? / Yes Sammy? / Drinking beer? / No Sammy.

piezoelectric landlord (Ye Mad Puffin), Tuesday, 7 November 2017 22:50 (two years ago) link

Yeah, that Johnny Johnny 3D thing freaked me the fuck out when I first saw it - I've caught a fair few of these on "weird youtube" and seen some very odd Elsa from Frozen Caesarian Section type games on hosting sites but I think not having (or having much to do with) kids means I may well have missed out some proper weirdo content.

emil.y, Tuesday, 7 November 2017 22:53 (two years ago) link

I still cannot believe that Elsa game exists

the Hannah Montana of the Korean War (DJP), Tuesday, 7 November 2017 22:54 (two years ago) link

I just spent a good 30 mins trying to find a Medium post that made waves over the summer abt this "phenomenon", creepy youtube for kids. It was about these youtube clips, seemingly created for children but with bitter, torturous twists (stuff like Peppa Pig being degraded, hurting etc). The comment sections all had comments in some form of code language, seemingly gibberish, but when decoded lead to child pornography websites and degradation porn. No conspiracy (or lunacy) theory stuff here, trust me, it really did lead to horrible websites. But I cannot for the life of me find the medium article any more... :-(

It's probably deleted. Regardless, it's where tl;dr James Bridle got his info from though, but in his Medium article he's only barely scratching the surface.

In short: there's some fucked up stuff just a click away. The digital variant of luring kids makes me nauseous.

Le Bateau Ivre, Tuesday, 7 November 2017 23:59 (two years ago) link

one month passes...

Have generally been on board with Hey Duggee but ffs the stick song gaaaaah

calumerio, Wednesday, 13 December 2017 16:36 (one year ago) link

STICKY STICKY STICK STICK

Madchen, Thursday, 14 December 2017 11:39 (one year ago) link

three months pass...

beachville at 8:20 7 Mar 12

Add Lego Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitsu to this list, please.
Either this show got better or I've gotten worse.

Came here to talk about the Bunnicula cartoon, which my daughter just discovered this week.

https://youtu.be/VI5qMIWdnOI

how's life, Thursday, 15 March 2018 11:07 (one year ago) link

three weeks pass...

Paw patrol is fecking terrible. Just awful. Thomas and Friends is like a masterclass in storytelling in comparison

kinder, Sunday, 8 April 2018 09:26 (one year ago) link

It’s amazingly terrible but I’m really jealous I didn’t come up with it. Like half of every episode is just a montage of them getting into their vehicles.

Thankfully my kid isn’t that into it other than when he’s sick and has already watched Moana, Dino Dana, and Peg + Cat all of which are orders of magnitude better.

joygoat, Sunday, 8 April 2018 13:44 (one year ago) link

We’re in a Sarah and Duck/Puffin Rock phase, which are about the chillest cartoons ever.

Jeff, Sunday, 8 April 2018 14:43 (one year ago) link

we've pretty definitely jumped out of this thread - they're all about match of the day and effing top gear now

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Sunday, 8 April 2018 16:07 (one year ago) link

Hey Dugee is very enjoyable, i am discovering.

Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Monday, 9 April 2018 00:13 (one year ago) link

Hey Dugee is the best thing on the BBC at the moment

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K05N2jqFHc8

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Monday, 9 April 2018 09:31 (one year ago) link

This is the only clip I can find of their Apocalypse Now parody

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vN-FrziBbWU

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Monday, 9 April 2018 09:34 (one year ago) link

That Apocalypse Now bit felt like a present just for me

calumerio, Monday, 9 April 2018 09:36 (one year ago) link

two weeks pass...

Aaaahk! My daughter has for some reason become obsessed with watching these interminable unboxing/reviewe videos where over-excited middle-aged American women with irritating voices and vocabularies consisting of only 14 words other than "soooo cuuuute!" open up endless blind-bagged collectible toys. I am going insane.

Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Tuesday, 24 April 2018 06:53 (one year ago) link

two weeks pass...

My daughter is deep into a Pokemon obsession right now and while I guess the show isn't the worst, she always wants to have imaginary pokemon battles with me and I can never remember any of their names our their powers. She spent three straight hours last night skipping around the house and babbling about various Pokemon and their attacks and evolutions. I'm proud of her for memorizing all these facts and I want to participate in her obsession in some way but my brain just shuts down at anything beyond Bulbasaur, pretty much.

how's life, Thursday, 10 May 2018 11:00 (one year ago) link

I would welcome Pokémon at this time. RN my son got into watching Beyblade (a show which makes exactly zero sense) and that led him to Yo-Kai Watch.

Occasionally, though he comes up for air and rediscovers some shows I kinda liked when my daughter was little (10 years back). The music in Wonder Pets, Backyardigans, and Bubble Guppies is pretty decent.

let's not talk about the gincident (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, 10 May 2018 13:01 (one year ago) link

Man, I miss Nick Jr. All I see now is "Hey guys, what is up. Today we're going to learn how to glitch out of the police station in Murder Mystery 2...."

pplains, Thursday, 10 May 2018 13:19 (one year ago) link

Beyblade doesn't look like something I'll have to worry about but this Yo-Kai Watch thing seems to have a ton of cute animals, which is right up her alley. I am very afraid.

I miss Wonder Pets and Backyardigans.

how's life, Thursday, 10 May 2018 13:22 (one year ago) link

Wonder Pets featured some of the most negligent parents in the world though. </judging>

pplains, Thursday, 10 May 2018 13:25 (one year ago) link

Yeah, what the fuck, mama kangaroo? YOU EVEN HAVE A HANDY POUCH TO KEEP YOUR YOUNG IN.

But the "...Save the Beetles" ep was choice.

I like the Boinga song from Backyardigans' "Mission to Mars." Bubble Guppies brought some clever lyric writing (like the internal rhymes in "all of the bones that everyone owns / underneath the skin they're in").

moresoupial (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, 10 May 2018 13:31 (one year ago) link

one month passes...

Is this 'baby shark' song an actual thing or just something my son has picked up from somewhere?

kinder, Wednesday, 13 June 2018 21:38 (one year ago) link

this one?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GR2o6k8aPlI

sleeve, Wednesday, 13 June 2018 21:41 (one year ago) link

this is the one I know and am doomed to have in my head forever:
http://youtu.be/XqZsoesa55w

I'm not actually sure which version he was trying to tell me about ...

kinder, Wednesday, 13 June 2018 21:45 (one year ago) link

1.3 BILLION views

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 13 June 2018 23:18 (one year ago) link

jesus christ

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 13 June 2018 23:18 (one year ago) link

they teach it in day care. its got its own coordinated hand movements and everything

I saw the vid sleeve posted, thought "ahh that's where it comes from". later came to realize that every cheapo kiddie animation factory does this song. so who knows.

frogbs, Thursday, 14 June 2018 03:37 (one year ago) link

we spent some time in Mexico and found out that they do this stuff way better than us

there are a lot of really catchy ones. and not in the same way as "Baby Shark, doo doo doo doo". plus the videos are actually kind of funny. these two crack me up

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_c-HVfe4VM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGFOXpgsw1M

frogbs, Thursday, 14 June 2018 03:41 (one year ago) link

My 8yo son mentioned last night about some terrible catchy song kids in his class were singing and asked me to look it up so I found it, or a version of it, on YouTube. It is indeed a terrible catchy song with ok animation but then 55 seconds in a cartoon boy pops up with a handgun, wearing a tshirt that says "Jerk":

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-xWhG4UU_Y

wtf is that all about? Have I stumbled across one of those sinister kids youtube channels that people were talking about a few months ago?

nate woolls, Thursday, 14 June 2018 08:04 (one year ago) link


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