EXCELSIOR is the second solo album by British musician LOLZ Coombes.

there is a prominent ilxor whose name i won't mention who has a pet starling.

― Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Tuesday, October 24, 2017 2:40 PM (seventeen minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Is it named Clarice?

― Marcus Hiles Remains Steadfast About Planting Trees.jpg (DJP), Tuesday, October 24, 2017 2:44 PM (fourteen minutes ago

"he eats rice" is not actually a sick burn, I say fruitlessly into the whirlwind as fellow lefties prepare their blistering "lol he eats rice" takes

― she carries a torch. two torches, actually (Joan Crawford Loves Chachi), Tuesday, October 24, 2017 3:06 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

No no, if anything 'awww, he sure loves his rice!' will be one of the heartwarmingly normalizing things we'll say about that rascal Trump once he's out of office.

Oops, wrong thread, whatevs

I get exactly 0 vindication or pleasure from these fucks announcing they won't seek reelection and making empty, lofty speeches. A lot of democrat supporters really have a fetish for these sorts of moments, these blustery condemnations that sound like Jack Nicholson delivering "You can't handle the truth." idgi. They amount to exactly nothing. Tell me a democrat has a good chance of winning one of their seats in 2018, then I'll be happy.

― IF (Terrorist) Yes, Explain (man alive), Tuesday, October 24, 2017 4:48 PM (six minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

A Democrat has a good chance of winning Flake's seat in 2018

― Οὖτις, Tuesday, October 24, 2017 4:49 PM (five minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

now tell me how handsome i am

― j., Tuesday, October 24, 2017 4:50 PM (four minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yeah I liked that one too

garbage in, garbage out. and human beings are garbage.

― bob lefse (rushomancy), Thursday, October 26, 2017 10:07 AM (five hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

and that's why my human sausages taste like garbage

― Mordy, Thursday, October 26, 2017 10:09 AM (five hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

https://theyearofhalloween.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/stephen-gammell-illustration-for-scary-stories-to-tell-in-the-dark-2-wonderful-sausage.gif

Arm goin ham

I used to work with a guy who dressed like zorro every year and he was the ONLY guy in the office who dressed for Halloween. It was kinda funny, though.. Zorro sitting in front of a computer, typing something, sipping coffee
― brimstead, Saturday, October 28, 2017 2:07 AM

There's always juan
― Gary Synaesthesia (darraghmac), Saturday, October 28, 2017 2:08 AM

:/

what can i say, i'm a cheap date

Where would we be without our fans

:/

that is probably in the top 10% best excelsiors in this thread tbf

I see no problem with this

on an unrelated note hey ulysses check out these armpit noises

20% then

brb, i will start a spotify list of your armpit noises

must remember: the art/fart pun is the lowest of all puns

posting spootify hurts fartists can only lower your stock on this board. leave that one for the art club bumper stickers and tote bags.

Guys, it's 2017 and not all of you are baby boomers clinging onto the notion that things were, like, soooooo much better back in the day - it's fully acceptable to admit that not everything The Beatles did was/is great and you can call out these records for what they are instead of listening to 'em through the layers of bullshit mythology that's accumulated over the decades.

― Gholdfish Killah (Turrican), Monday, October 30, 2017 1:35 PM (four minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Spoken like a true Fleetwood Mac fan.

― Terry Micawber (Tom D.), Monday, October 30, 2017 1:37 PM (one minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I COOPERATED ON MY MAMA’S PETUNIAS AND GOLLLEEEE SHE WAS MAD AS A RATTLESNAKE

― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, October 30, 2017 10:44 PM (sixteen minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

xxpost:

If you were born in 1997, that means you probably started to pay attention to music around the end of last decade/beginning of this one. The Beatles has, unfortunately influenced a lot of shit indie so it figures.

― Gholdfish Killah (Turrican), Tuesday, October 31, 2017 2:10 PM (twenty-nine minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

If you were born in 1997, that means you probably started to pay attention to music around the end of last decade/beginning of this one. The Beatles has, unfortunately influenced a lot of shit indie so it figures.

Nope, started paying attention when I was 5/6. Fair play for standing by your intial points, though.

― Custard Cream, Tuesday, October 31, 2017 2:13 PM (twenty-six minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Well said, Sheldon Jr.

― Terry Micawber (Tom D.), Tuesday, October 31, 2017 2:16 PM (twenty-three minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

turrican you make such wild & blind assumptions about people you don't know at all beyond a username and a birth year

― flappy bird, Tuesday, October 31, 2017 2:27 PM (twelve minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

more like Turrican-you-not

― flopson, Tuesday, October 31, 2017 2:29 PM (ten minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Hahaha

These last two albums have not really worked for me, I gotta say. A couple good tracks on both, but Goths particularly is some strange ass elevator music

― Nhex, Tuesday, October 31, 2017 6:53 PM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

luv2ride the ass elevator

― proton, neutron, electron and crouton (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, October 31, 2017 6:56 PM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

enemies of the working people

http://www.truth-out.org/news/item/42431-meet-trump-s-anti-worker-labor-department-nominees

― ice cream social justice (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 1 November 2017 19:06 (eleven minutes ago) Permalink

Anti-worker Labor Department nominees?! But...but that doesn't make any sense! It's like putting someone who hates ice cream in charge of the Sweet Treats Department! Someone needs to have a talk with Mr. Trump about this.

― I cannit beleve how stupid yoy all r (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 1 November 2017 19:14 (three minutes ago) Permalink

Not to impugn your tastes, but if you excelsior me you're probably doing it wrong.

I've heard of a self-celsior but never a self-un-celsior.

maybe they know something about the celsior that we don't

because this is America, and we use fahrenheit.

And we've always been fahrenheit! It's not like we switched, and then switched back, because then that would make us an ex-celsior.

goddammit pp

I couldn't even I'm glad you came home

It would be pretty funny/ironic/fitting if the maleness thread devolves into Lord of the Flies

― IF (Terrorist) Yes, Explain (man alive), Wednesday, November 1, 2017 1:52 PM

Do we need a new lolz thread?
Do we need better lolz?

Because this... is not good.

ilx needs to be funny again and people need to stop posting cringey trump yuks kimmel would pass on

MAKE ILX FUNNY AGAIN ha ha ha that's good someone should do something that that

*with

this is why you guys are the professionals

maybe call him an orange cheeto that seems like new territory

ilx should pivot to video

new ilx queso makes stock a BUY

If you thought the one I posted was a “Trump yuk” you didn’t get it son

wasn't really about yours but yours was another one that doesn't really hit outside the context of the political threads

unless it was supposed to be a zing on morbs but i don't really think morbs was being enough of a dumbass to warrant it

mmmm queso

and honestly my advice to a 24 year old interested in a 17 year old, no matter how sophisticated or mature that 17 year old seems to be - wait a fuckin year or two!!! it's not that hard

― marcos, Friday, November 3, 2017 11:48 AM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

*beat*

― Gary Synaesthesia (darraghmac), Friday, November 3, 2017 11:48 AM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I can't think of how any Bruce Springsteen song goes, apart from "Born to Run".

― jmm, Saturday, November 4, 2017 10:08 AM (three hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

they all go like that.

― scott seward, Saturday, November 4, 2017 10:20 AM (three hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

>:( but also lol

ha that's great

ahahahaha

‘if i told you then i’d have to kill you’ strongly guarantees it would have been a painful story to listen to anyway, regardless of content

― estela, Sunday, 5 November 2017 06:04 (eight hours ago) Permalink

Charlie: Excuse me, Lieutenant. Is there something wrong?
Maverick: Yes ma'am, the data on the MiG is inaccurate.
Charlie: How's that, Lieutenant?
Maverick: Well, I just happened to see a MiG 28 do a…
Goose: We!
Maverick: Uh, sorry, Goose. *We* happened to see a MiG 28 do a 4g negative dive.
Charlie: Where did you see this?
Maverick: Uh, that's classified.
Charlie: It's what?
Maverick: It's classified. I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.
Iceman: ‘if i told you then i’d have to kill you’ strongly guarantees it would have been a painful story to listen to anyway, regardless of content

― phenibut rock (rip van wanko), Sunday, 5 November 2017 06:49 (seven hours ago) Permalink

when yanks say "preggers" i die a little bit in my mouth

― phenibut rock (rip van wanko)

I laughed. What can I say. I'm an easy mark.