Defend the Indefensible: James Blunt

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― Sororah T Massacre (blueski), Thursday, 2 March 2006 10:59 (eighteen years ago) link

This Blunt fuckwad doesn't know how to pronounce diphthongs. "I saw your fehs in ah crowded plehs..." What ever happened to the days when we could kill someone for that?

― Okeigh, Thursday, 2 March 2006 11:06 (eighteen years ago) link

I thought the cnut said he was going to South America to become a (different type of) mercenary?

Not a lot of defending going on here is there?

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Thursday, 2 March 2006 11:22 (eighteen years ago) link

Looks like we're all wrong and it is a great song!

How else could it defeat all borders and take over like that?

1) Is he 'fit'? (Not especially)
2) Interesting personality? (uncheck)
3) stunning vocal performance? (strongly disagree)
4) Speak of a shared experience that the listener may well empathise with? (ah now....!)

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 2 March 2006 11:22 (eighteen years ago) link

OK, Defend time:

"High" isn't too bad.

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 2 March 2006 11:28 (eighteen years ago) link

I can't be the only person who clicked on this thinking it was about James Blount.
-- Al (hoteloper...), June 30th, 2005.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was WONDERING when someone would make the joke. First thing I thought of too.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), June 30th, 2005.

haha.

but does he REALLY say 'fucking high'?

― The Man Without Shadow (Enrique), Thursday, 2 March 2006 11:31 (eighteen years ago) link

The most alarming thing about Blunt is not his singing voice, it's his actual speaking voice.

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Thursday, 2 March 2006 12:05 (eighteen years ago) link

You know those statistics that say, like, in the UK ex military are four times more likely to die of a drug overdose, eight times likely to be homeless, and twenty three times more like to commit murder? At least we can hold onto some hope in that knowledge, right?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 2 March 2006 12:07 (eighteen years ago) link

One more defence:

He changed his name so's as not to get people confused with our own.

but does he REALLY say 'fucking high'?

Yes.

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 2 March 2006 12:12 (eighteen years ago) link

He's so edgy.

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Thursday, 2 March 2006 12:16 (eighteen years ago) link

Dom, are you Calum in disguise?

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Thursday, 2 March 2006 12:29 (eighteen years ago) link

IF X = Pearl Jam THEN Y = Creed
IF X = Oasis THEN Y = Shed Seven
IF X = David Gray THEN Y = James Blunt

― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Thursday, 2 March 2006 19:10 (eighteen years ago) link

We need Bertrand Russell in here.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 2 March 2006 19:11 (eighteen years ago) link

James Blunt has certainly known conflict -- he was a member of the British Army and served in Kosovo -- but now, as a singer and songwriter, he goes out of his way to avoid conflict, tension, or any other kind of distinguishing energy. His repetitive and well-mannered ballad "You're Beautiful" is creeping toward the top of the American charts as part of its obligatory life as a song before it becomes the perfume commercial it was born to be. Blunt's assets, if you can call them that, are a weak falsetto and a fearless decision to include the word "fucking" in this under-annotated composition about seeing a woman once and falling in love. It happens, sure, but Blunt's description of the fateful moment is as banal as the music: a Starbucks-friendly quilt of nylon-string classical guitar, mandolin, neutered drums, and a timid, depressive chord sequence. Those of us old enough to remember England Dan and John Ford Coley miss them terribly.

--Sasha Frere-Jones in this week's New Yorker

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 2 March 2006 19:18 (eighteen years ago) link

This Blunt fuckwad doesn't know how to pronounce diphthongs. "I saw your fehs in ah crowded plehs..." What ever happened to the days when we could kill someone for that?

Actually, you aren't supposed to do that when you sing; if you do, you are much more likely to fall off-pitch.

So, um, he can form his vowels correctly when he sings. I guess that's a defense.

― Dan (Fucking Irritating Pusbag Of A Musician) Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 2 March 2006 19:23 (eighteen years ago) link

I have a question: At the end of the video, is he committing suicide (presumably because he'll never be with this beautiful woman) or is he just going for a swim?

― o. nate (onate), Thursday, 2 March 2006 19:41 (eighteen years ago) link

(And btw is there a worse pejorative in the modern pop critical vocabulary than "Starbucks-friendly"?)

― o. nate (onate), Thursday, 2 March 2006 19:51 (eighteen years ago) link

(Which is odd because most of the music that I hear at Starbucks is far from terrible.)

― o. nate (onate), Thursday, 2 March 2006 19:52 (eighteen years ago) link

(xpost) Um. Yes?

― Dan ("Terrible" "Horrible" "Stultifying" "Horrendus" "Worthless" Etc Etc Etc) Pe, Thursday, 2 March 2006 19:52 (eighteen years ago) link

("Horrendus" is Latin.)

― Dan (Oops) Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 2 March 2006 19:54 (eighteen years ago) link

It just seems like the two quickest ways to demolish a piece of music are to associate it with either Starbucks or NPR.

― o. nate (onate), Thursday, 2 March 2006 19:56 (eighteen years ago) link

As our Amber said after seeing the video "He'll never be with anyone if he carries on like that!"

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 2 March 2006 19:57 (eighteen years ago) link

Ha, yeah, It's like America has collectively decided to buy Blunt's schtick in hopes that he'll spend the money on a decent hooker.

― darin (darin), Thursday, 2 March 2006 20:05 (eighteen years ago) link

Bob Dylan technically can't really sing but dammit he's knows his boundaries.

hahahaha SO not otm!

― swvl (vozick), Friday, 3 March 2006 01:36 (eighteen years ago) link

Can't stand the man, he belongs on a Dawsons Creek soundtrack alongside David Gray and Dido circa 2000-2001. Please go away Mr Blunt.

― Miranda Leigh (Miranda Leigh), Friday, 3 March 2006 03:09 (eighteen years ago) link

you go away!

― j blount (papa la bas), Friday, 3 March 2006 03:15 (eighteen years ago) link

Don't get your knickers into a twist, everyone has their own opinion and i think he's crap.

― Miranda Leigh (Miranda Leigh), Friday, 3 March 2006 03:19 (eighteen years ago) link

-- jaymc (jmcunnin...), March 2nd, 2006. (jaymc)

Yeah, Sash, but the same accusations of banality & timidness could easily be directed towards your pet artiste, Keren Ann. It don't get more Starbucks than that, dude!

(i have yet to hear Mr. Blunt, but his name is classic if only as an irritant to Mr. Blount)

― timmy tannin (pompous), Friday, 3 March 2006 09:08 (eighteen years ago) link

if by 'irritant' you mean 'endless source of amusement'

― j blount (papa la bas), Friday, 3 March 2006 09:14 (eighteen years ago) link

if you say so, jb.

― timmy tannin (pompous), Friday, 3 March 2006 09:17 (eighteen years ago) link

I can't be the only person who clicked on this thinking it was about James Blount.

But his real name IS James Blount!

― Rotatey Diskers With Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 3 March 2006 12:10 (eighteen years ago) link

There's been other blunts before, there will be more in the future. Just ignore this one and it will go away.

― blunt (blunt), Friday, 3 March 2006 12:14 (eighteen years ago) link

Almost certainly no relation:

http://www.cbmr.org/pro/images/Sun-Ra.jpg

― Rotatey Diskers With Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 3 March 2006 12:19 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.megascreen.ca/art/snoop.gif

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Friday, 3 March 2006 12:22 (eighteen years ago) link

Unfortunately no images available of "Bertie Blunt, His Parrot's a Cunt"

― Rotatey Diskers With Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 3 March 2006 12:26 (eighteen years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Ha ha WHAT THE FUCK:

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=26931089&blogID=52032004&MyToken=14240ca5-75ed-4b29-9505-e65c503f2051

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Saturday, 18 March 2006 11:25 (eighteen years ago) link

If you look at that guy's MySpace profile, he has Mickey Avalon as one of his friends. I guess when it comes to crap, he gets on at the ground floor.

― naus (Robert T), Saturday, 18 March 2006 14:50 (eighteen years ago) link

So, let me get this straight:

You thought he was shit, but you thought you could make a heap of money out of him and his limp, lifeless songs and ridiculous voice by selling it to people who don't like music, and, oh, boo-hoo, someone else poached him from you before you could squeeze the cash out of him. Cry me a river! That's a pretty self-interested version of "karma" you've got.

Sonned.

― jimnaseum (jimnaseum), Saturday, 18 March 2006 15:02 (eighteen years ago) link

That "You're Beautiful" song is ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS on the radio. Man this James Blunt guy sounds like Rod Stewart.

― Mr. Snrub (Mr. Snrub), Saturday, 18 March 2006 18:18 (eighteen years ago) link

So, um, he can form his vowels correctly when he sings.

I still think he's doing something wrong with his vowels.

― O-Keigh (O-Keigh), Saturday, 18 March 2006 21:09 (eighteen years ago) link

In following links back I came across this story. I should think it's anonymous because anyone willing to put their name to this would need the gentle caresses of an iron boot:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/4701924.stm

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 18 March 2006 21:37 (eighteen years ago) link

I took a listen to this guy recently. I really expected better considering all the critical accolades on his ads. Man, this is white shite. Not worth Tim Buckley's fingernail.

― The Sound of Walls (Bimble...), Sunday, 19 March 2006 13:48 (eighteen years ago) link

I thought JB was indefensible, then I heard Hard Fi. Then I saw the lead singer from Hard Fi. Case closed...

― gekkopppel, Sunday, 19 March 2006 19:57 (eighteen years ago) link

I had a customer return the CD because of the one swear word adn no warning sitcker....jesus!

what i want to know is how many people has he killed ? he said in an interview with a Sydney paper that when he was doing "recon" his seargent told them they were'nt doing there job right if they returned with all there bullets

― grapple (grapple), Monday, 20 March 2006 00:17 (eighteen years ago) link

So is anyone actually going to go with the thread title and defend him?

All the singaporean girls in my office love him. They sit around a pc together and listen to the song and get emotional. I don't mention this because it has any significance vis a vis quality, but it's interesting.

― Jacob (Jacob), Monday, 20 March 2006 00:57 (eighteen years ago) link

gekkopppel OTM

― jed_ (jed), Monday, 20 March 2006 01:12 (eighteen years ago) link

The only thing I can myster in defense of this awful, awful song is that the chord change on the line "And I don't know what to do" is midldy unpredictable in relation to the interchangeable circle-of-fifths shit that comprises the rest of that fucking thing.

― joseph cotten (joseph cotten), Monday, 20 March 2006 04:50 (eighteen years ago) link

Wikipedia: In a TV4 Nyhetsmorgon interview, he mentioned that he had been shot at more times than 50 Cent.

Shot at. Not shot -- shot at.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Monday, 20 March 2006 12:27 (eighteen years ago) link

heh heh...England Dan and John Ford Coley...

― hank s (hank s), Monday, 20 March 2006 22:17 (eighteen years ago) link

This past weekend I was in Boston for my annual fantasy baseball draft, a day-long affair with 14 other guys getting shitfaced and comparing the relative merits of Brian McCann vs Kenji Jojhima. We realized during that afternoon that James is in fact doing a very bad Katharine Hepburn impersonation for most of that song. It's a remarkably short line from "she was WITH anutha MAHN" to "the calla lilies are in bloom" . . . but it's even more fun to deliver the lyric in full Ethel Merman bombast. In fact, that's just what I'll do next time I do karaoke.

― Joseph McCombs (Joseph McCombs), Tuesday, 21 March 2006 01:55 (eighteen years ago) link

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