OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

"front-man" reminds me of

http://www.9e3k.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Batman-Begins-GIF-07.gif

As for the name, it’s been said the name was taken from a French fashion magazine, Dépêche mode. It means hurried fashion or fashion dispatch, or something along those lines. It was 1981, and with a name secured, and music set to hit the street, DM’s first album was Speak & Spell. It came out at the perfect moment to be caught up in the fledgling new-wave music genre. Their freshman debut featured songs “New Life” and “Dreaming of Me”, but what set them off into the new-wave stratosphere was a song called “Just Can’t Get Enough”. Truthfully, the kids couldn’t get enough of this British new-wave power band.

I feel like there's there's some punchline to this entire piece that I'm not getting

Also noteworthy, DM recently received a nomination for the 2017 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Truth is, they’ve received just about every award you can imagine, except a Grammy, and that’s a travesty. That’s another story for another day.

I am certain that this is an intentional stylistic choice and I am also certain that unless the intent was to troll fans, no one who actually wants to read about Depeche Mode will understand or appreciate said intentional stylistic choice.

the dude is a local radio personality and not a music writer, so cool your jets, everyone

so this is meant to be read aloud

lol

Busta Rhymes & the DeMode Squad

Truly, today's kids were not ready for this local radio personality's fledgeling foray into the digital music scribe scene.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/music-review-stargazing-for-beginners-dazzling_us_59d6634ce4b0666ad0c3cb75

...Sparkling guitar accents bring luminosity to the cogent resonance. “In A Past Life” exudes a new wave electro pop feel set in a prog rock matrix. The measured melody rumbles with deep tones. And Scott’s voice assumes a high-pitched sonority full of texture and undulating filaments.

The melody is minimal but heavy with vivacity flowing from Scott’s mellow voice. “Bodies” begins with a So-Cal intro segueing to a gleaming progressive rock melody. Restrained guitars provide lustrous mists of evocative intensity.

The title track delivers a quasi-psychedelic aroma within a prog rock melody. The melody oozes dark, heavy rhythms beneath soft, pale vocals juxtaposed against the liquid flow of random darkness. The tune discharges shadows blacker than black, along with a dank mysterious quality. It’s a great song.

...The bassline is stellar and palpable.... Poole’s guitar projects a raffish aroma that’s urgent and infectious... An aromatic guitar pours forth gracefully... The solo is chock-full of suffused sonic pigmentations, along with a bravura guitar.

just smell that guitar

those lustrous mists of guitar are quite aromatic

in a weird way though i almost have to hear this album now so job done i guess?

“Bodies” begins with a So-Cal intro

It says so much.

progressive rock clot

At least this person is trying to describe what the music sounds like!!

sounds, looks, AND smells

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JkDLsq9lzsk

getting hints of oak, barnyard and overzealous press release

"the lambent bass discharged sleek tunnels of fatty overdrive - and it was everything!"

https://www.washingtonpost.com/entertainment/books/joni-mitchell-from-both-sides-now/2017/10/09/e571fc62-aad3-11e7-b3aa-c0e2e1d41e38_story.html?tid=kp_google&utm_term=.3c6f46fc7559

https://www.vox.com/2017/10/28/16563618/trout-mask-replica-captain-beefheart-deconstructed

"Deconstructed" is such a giveaway new media word that means "a lot of content about a thing that says absolutely nothing new or interesting"

new derrida description

we could poll decoded vs. deconstructed (in worst music writing)

ts: "deconstructed" (food) vs. "deconstructed" (literature)

Still thinking about that NYT Mag piece. I got breakfast at the diner this morning and they played Eurhythmics, Lady Gaga, Heart, Rihanna, Ace of Base, Kim Wide and Katy Perry.

Of course I sat shivering and confused, these songs hitting me like Esperanto.

Finally a song with a man's voice came on. I stood on the table, kicked all the food off and screamed all the words like a normal person

anecdotal experience truther up in here

Have a hoagie: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confirmation_bias

there are no commercial stations in the entire country that would play that many female-led songs in a row

I think it was 106.7 Lite FM, but keep trying!

There was two songs from men in there too iirc

Both of which I saluted like a flag

Of course bodega hoagie radio is just Mentors, Meatmen, XXXManik and the Eminem songs about killing his ex-wife

Looking like a lab experiment for Eurocentric beauty, toting a bank account full of platinum records and a panoply of celebrity friends, if Swift couldn’t seem to find love, and she wrote about this problem often, rooting for Taylor Swift the Cultural Question to find happiness was a bit like rooting for the house in blackjack.

"And how many celebrity friends would you like from your account today Ms Swift"

"Taylor Swift the Cultural Question" clap clap clap.. "Taylor Swift the Cultural Question" clap clap clap..

idk I like that sentence

yeah it's a bit overstuffed but I prefer that to bland

Bloody Nora, the radio guy just mentioned Hans Christian Andersen's fairy tale 'Der er forskel' to express the difference in quality between these two teams. This isn't supposed to be educational ffs

sry rong thraed

bump

How do I express my hatred of this shit without going on some "I'm not like the other gays" tangent: https://www.billboard.com/articles/events/year-in-music-2017/8070980/best-gay-anthems-2017-songs-halsey-rupaul

Charli knows what The Gays™ want

Re: that Riton song - how does a house song w/ a choir and MNEK manage to sound rote, guess I answered my own question

https://www.xlr8r.com/reviews/2017/12/nabihah-iqbal-weighing-of-the-heart/

The promo information said one of the important elements of retiring the Throwing Shade name in favor of her birth name is to promote her Asian heritage. Good. But what’s interesting about her mixed ethnic heritage and education and experience is that the music to my ears sounds very "white." The subject matter colorless. I don’t sense the Asian-British experience we’re usually given. In an interview with i-D when asked to name a memorable song from her childhood, she said "something by Oasis." Now what’s beautiful about that is it’s unexpected and rarer than a white guy referencing a minority’s culture.

Excellent foot in mouth situation courtesy of Anton Lang reviewing my album for @XLR8R. The reason why I've chosen to use my birth name is to breakdown racial prejudices such as this. Sorry if you think I shouldn't be able to make guitar music because I'm not white. pic.twitter.com/TS7Fve1VSj

— Nabihah Iqbal (@nabihahiqbal) December 21, 2017

But he's not saying she shouldn't be able to make guitar music because she's not white - he's saying he had higher expectations of her (based on an awareness of her prior work) than bland indie. If that's prejudice, OK then.

it absolutely is. if he'd listened to it blindfolded would he have said the same thing? come on. also, his pulling out of a chance to chat with her about this on the radio speaks volumes.

wow that is like a vortex of awful ideas and awful writing

old man yells at the cloud https://www.theglobeandmail.com/opinion/the-lost-art-of-music-snobbery/article37455129/?cmpid=rss1&click=sf_globe

not gonna get capt-save-a-weingarten here, but I mean I do think there IS a viable defense for music snobbery, especially when sites are out here running in-defense-of-normies articles like this

https://www.buzzfeed.com/katienotopoulos/people-in-their-thirties-cant-stop-hoarding-cds?utm_term=.fkNJmLD8d#.rdearp9wG

http://nymag.com/selectall/2016/06/i-love-my-five-dollar-headphones-and-i-bet-you-will-too.html

or this intro from the Vinyl Me, Please guide, which, lmao, fucking NO

https://www.instagram.com/p/BaUmBxCjVxo/

...

However, this article is ... not it.