girls, gurls, grrls: c/d, s/d

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Although, if she knees you in the balls because she LIKES you, imagine what her bouncer/bodybuilder boyfriend will do.

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:23 (twenty years ago) link

Well it's a huge reduction, yes, but it's not less of one than to say just because someone left someone to be with you that they will leave you to be with someone else.

Not that it's necessarilly applicable in this situation anyway.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:24 (twenty years ago) link

To Tep obv.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:25 (twenty years ago) link

Although, if she knees you in the balls because she LIKES you, imagine what her bouncer/bodybuilder boyfriend will do.

"You asshole! This is for making a move on my girlfriend!" *bouncer kneels down and swallows Jess to the hilt while confused pr0n music starts up in the background*

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:26 (twenty years ago) link

(ok I think I should leave work now)

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:26 (twenty years ago) link

It's not even a reduction so much as something that skips over everyone who's single for any appreciable period. I honestly can't even figure out how you could mean it.

I was single for two years; my current girlfriend hadn't seen anyone seriously for about that length of time, when we met; who did either of us leave, for heaven's sake?

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:27 (twenty years ago) link

:-O

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:27 (twenty years ago) link

i think the big thing is that, you know, i dont NEED any adding headaches right now. i DONT need a "girlfriend", like, at all. i mean, i am absolutely so broke that when i think about i feel like weeping, i live with moms, i have no idea "what i am doing with my life". i just wanted sex goddamnit!!!

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:28 (twenty years ago) link

sing "downlow" to her

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:30 (twenty years ago) link

or "My Boo"!

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:30 (twenty years ago) link

Tep, well I presume you left your previous relationship with the idea that at some point you would be dating someone else, yes? Whether you knew the person at that point is sort of beside my point though, I will admit. It was an intentionally overbroad statement

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:30 (twenty years ago) link

Ask her if she has any girlfriends you can ball, Jess!

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:31 (twenty years ago) link

if there was a song that could express what i feel right now it'd be some weird r. kelly/jesus lizard mashup

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:32 (twenty years ago) link

use the word "hilt" in a sentence to her

― Kingfish Balzac (Kingfish), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:33 (twenty years ago) link

Richard X should get on that shit.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:33 (twenty years ago) link

Well yeah, that's like conflating "people who kill once in awhile" with "serial killers," for pete's sake. Let's be reasonable.

Jess, dude, call her before you worry about girlfriend vs sex etc. If nothing happens with her, nothing happens, but possibly she has friends she'll introduce you to, and so on. There are all kinds of unfilled blanks here.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:34 (twenty years ago) link

"Well yeah, that's like conflating "people who kill once in awhile" with "serial killers," for pete's sake. Let's be reasonable."

Look I'm not a "serial killer", I just like to murder the occassional hooker, okay.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:35 (twenty years ago) link

"Jenny, there's this guy I want you to meet. He tongued me down in the coffeeshop the other day, so I kneed him in the nuts. Then I thought of you."

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:36 (twenty years ago) link

Mama always said it ain't murder if they're dirty.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:36 (twenty years ago) link

... xpost.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:37 (twenty years ago) link

RUN XTINA, RUN!!!!!!!

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:37 (twenty years ago) link

"i will never you, mouthbreather"

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:37 (twenty years ago) link

but what if they're drrrrty?

(xpost) GODDAMMIT MY FINGERS IS TOO SLOW

― Kingfish Balzac (Kingfish), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:37 (twenty years ago) link

DON'T NEVER ME!

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:38 (twenty years ago) link

This is a very inspiring thread.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:38 (twenty years ago) link

This Jenny sounds like a good girl.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:38 (twenty years ago) link

(This thread is best when read while listening to "Maps".)

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:38 (twenty years ago) link

This thread's gonna hit 1000 just as Jess gets her shirt off, and the Age of Aquarius will be upon us.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:39 (twenty years ago) link

god i am so tired

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:39 (twenty years ago) link

this job is fucking killing me

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:39 (twenty years ago) link

Jess, just save up the money and get a nice quality call girl.

― ModJ (ModJ), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:40 (twenty years ago) link

PAYCHECK PAYCHECK PAYCHECK

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:40 (twenty years ago) link

NO THE MOTHERFUCKING D12 RECORD ISNT OUT YET YOU COCKSHITTING ABERCROMBIE PARASITE ITS GOING TO SUCK YAK SWEATY TAINT ANYWAY

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:40 (twenty years ago) link

And if it doens't work, at least Ryan Adams and Snow Dogs will be there to comfort you

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:40 (twenty years ago) link

If you are accidentally teleported to New Hampshire over Memorial Day weekend, I promise to buy you all the cider you can handle, Jess.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:40 (twenty years ago) link

"yak-sweaty taint"?

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:40 (twenty years ago) link

dude i told you i was tired!

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:41 (twenty years ago) link

so..so..tired...zzzzzzz

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:41 (twenty years ago) link

How did the yak sweat... no, never mind.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:41 (twenty years ago) link

Baffling Dan's Vegan mind: YAK SWEAT.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:42 (twenty years ago) link

I play football with the guy from snow patrol, jess. he's a nice guy. OK goalie.

― cozen (Cozen), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:43 (twenty years ago) link

i'd probably be making more if i was picking up discarded stubs at the dog track

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:43 (twenty years ago) link

that seems like good, reasonable advice. i would be worried about the power balance being out of whack since she knows that you've got a thing for her, but this is apparently an unproductive line of thinking - i spend most of my time worrying about this and thus tend to alienate people/end up with
game-playing mentalists.

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:43 (twenty years ago) link

quit. write a pay-per-page internet autobiography.

― m., Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:44 (twenty years ago) link

i need to find me a wealthy dowager

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:45 (twenty years ago) link

AN ACTUAL SEARCH RESULT FROM AN IMAGE SEARCH FOR "DOWAGER"

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:47 (twenty years ago) link

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:48 (twenty years ago) link

damn skippy

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:50 (twenty years ago) link

i would be worried about the power balance being out of whack since she knows that you've got a thing for her, but this is apparently an unproductive line of thinking

I don't like encouraging people to think in terms of power balances like that, but even if you were to do so: it's an easy-to-accept myth (but a myth nonetheless) that the power flows to the person in whom the interest has been shown. Being interested in the interest returns power to the provider. The interest can be currency, and retailers and customers have different kinds of power.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:50 (twenty years ago) link

no the power balance can work for him cuz then he gets to ball her friend and meanwhile this girl works up desire and the he gets to ball her too - like in the movies.

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:51 (twenty years ago) link

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