EXCELSIOR is the second solo album by British musician LOLZ Coombes.

"I wish news orgs would refrain from issuing headlines that mislead the reader into believing that Trump said something mind-blowingly offensive when there are so very many instances in any given day when similar headlines would be wholly accurate."

I agree; for instance, his comment today that Katrina was a 'real catastrophe'. I'm pretty sure I know what he meant; it sounds bad, but I don't think he meant it to be as bad as it sounds. He's just incapable of making anything sound good, ever.

― akm, Tuesday, October 3, 2017 3:54 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

[...]

well, I wrote that before he started lobbed TP at a room full of people so maybe I'm wrong.

― akm, Tuesday, October 3, 2017 3:55 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

From the "Russia and Donald Trump" thread:

glad we finally figured out who is sowing discord in the US
― AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Monday, October 2, 2017 8:33 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

http://www.billboard.com/files/styles/article_main_image/public/media/ian-mackaye-2014-billboard-650.jpg
― Josh in Chicago, Monday, October 2, 2017 8:36 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i don't have a ton of rules. in general. i did yell at rufus once when he was practicing "tears in heaven" after a guitar lesson. i told him no clapton.

― scott seward, Friday, October 6, 2017 3:43 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

gold <3

pfffft

― Karl Malone, Sunday, 8 October 2017 05:56 (four hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

just to be clear, that's my lips making that noise, followed by my butt making that noise at the same time, and ending with just my butt making that noise

― Karl Malone, Sunday, 8 October 2017 05:57 (three hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

somehow not from peeing and farting in movies and TV for kids: research and observations

wolfenstein: the new order is one of my favourite games of the last few years, will enjoy playing the sequel while savouring the thought that nazi snowflakes are getting all bent out of shape about it

― ATTACK MY RUSTY TOOLBOX (bizarro gazzara), Saturday, October 7, 2017 7:03 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

why not a multiplayer choose your sides battle royale mode?

― AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Saturday, October 7, 2017 7:21 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I honestly can't get over how stupid this is

― Marcus Hiles Remains Steadfast About Planting Trees.jpg (DJP), Saturday, October 7, 2017 7:36 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

look, adam's idea is not THAT bad

― Karl Malone, Saturday, October 7, 2017 7:38 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

https://twitter.com/fundypost/status/816980491362443264

try again:

Maurice Bowra being shown a computer in 1965 pic.twitter.com/fotisdXy2I

— Paul Litterick (@fundypost) January 5, 2017

There should be a dedicated KM excelsior thread imo. Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays the Mailman.

breaking thread rules to butt in and say thank you, OL, and also that's a terrible idea ;)

He's no estella.

difference is qualitative not quantitative imo, both have among the highest funniness quotients in all of ilx

Estela

where is estela these days, she is missed

She posted one recently on the Real England thread (and whoops on the misspelling).

she's on mi twitter feed

maybe someday reddit will produce its very own buddha who discovers that the suffering of not getting laid can be solved with....compassion!

― ryan, Tuesday, October 10, 2017 7:36 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

It being reddit, that buddha will go by the handle "urea_fritters"

― Marcus Hiles Remains Steadfast About Planting Trees.jpg (DJP), Tuesday, October 10, 2017 8:15 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i remember shortly after battleship was announced, my friend and i came up with a really great pitch for a police procedural/serial-killer movie based on "guess who." cops getting new information on suspects, slamming desks, "damn! that rules him out!" "are we sure it can't be bernard?" "he's got glasses!" "shit!" then the phone rings, a creepy voice on the other line: guess who? end trailer.

― Doctor Casino, Thursday, October 12, 2017 3:51 PM (one minute ago)

hahaha

<3

the phone felt like a sell out. This isn't Dream Phone. It is Guess Who. The creepy voice should have come from a face concealed by the open lid of a briefcase or the screen of a laptop.

hahaha fair. i think we just thought creepy voice on the other line is a solid trailer moment regardless of how terrible your movie concept is. but any decent adaptation would be constantly finding situations where people could slam things closed. i neglected to make clear that that was how they would handle the framed photos of suspects, once ruled out.

http://www.gstatic.com/tv/thumb/movieposters/8906/p8906_p_v8_aa.jpg

D'oh

At the Interior Department's headquarters in downtown Washington, Secretary Ryan Zinke has revived an arcane military ritual that no one can remember ever happening in the federal government.

A security staffer takes the elevator to the seventh floor, climbs the stairs to the roof and hoists a special secretarial flag whenever Zinke enters the building. When the secretary goes home for the day or travels, the flag — a blue banner emblazoned with the agency's bison seal flanked by seven white stars representing the Interior bureaus — comes down.  

In Zinke's absence, the ritual is repeated to raise an equally obscure flag for Deputy Secretary David Bernhardt.

Responding this week to questions from The Washington Post, a spokeswoman for Zinke, a former Navy SEAL commander, defended the Navy flag-flying tradition as "a major sign of transparency."

― Monster fatberg (Phil D.), Friday, October 13, 2017 1:02 AM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

My wife has been inspired by this to suggest that I light our tiki torch in the front garden whenever she's home.

― a man often referred to in the news media as the Duke of Saxony (tipsy mothra), Friday, October 13, 2017 1:57 AM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

maybe....not a tiki torch?

― gbx, Friday, October 13, 2017 2:36 AM (twenty-one minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Wow, you guys have whole groups of friends!

― Robert Adam Gilmour, Thursday, 12 October 2017 19:48 (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Ned. Closely followed by Dan.

― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Thursday, October 12, 2017 9:28 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

And Tom.

― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Thursday, October 12, 2017 9:28 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

is ned aware he is being closely followed by dan and tom

― estela, Thursday, October 12, 2017 10:02 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

hahaha

Heee..

He is, though.

picturing dan on tom’s shoulders inside a giant overcoat

Ugh. Not really worth parsing that, but the obvious thing to say is that he is conflating sexual attraction with sexual objectification. It is possible to be attracted to someone without turning them into an object.

― a man often referred to in the news media as the Duke of Saxony (tipsy mothra), Tuesday, October 17, 2017 8:34 AM (four minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

not if you're medusa

― ATTACK MY RUSTY TOOLBOX (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, October 17, 2017 8:34 AM (three minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

A+

nearly lolled at my desk, just beautiful

Slight edits involved

My takeaway is that we need to start a website that features the body parts of men (not their faces), the first of its kind, so that women can fantasize about them. I’m no entrepreneur, but I believe demand vastly outweighs supply, and it’s time to capitalize

― Karl Malone, Tuesday, October 17, 2017 11:17 AM (twenty-one minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

valerie solanas to thread

― midas / medusa cage match (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, October 17, 2017 11:20 AM (eighteen minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ftr, my part of that was meant to be read in the cartoon voice of someone from NRO's The Corner, which might not be obvious at first glance!

bizarro on fire across ilx today btw

that medusa joke was v good

Global Warming: Hot, Ready, and Legal

― jmm, Wednesday, 18 October 2017 17:44 (thirty-nine minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

someone was always going to say that after the magazine cover was posted so I'm kind of just excelsioring life there, or ilx

TS: Global Warming vs. Lindsey Lohan

i think if something comes from your heart you should go for it. this long thing i saw definitely felt mansplain-y and ME TOO! in an ego way. like they were having the final word.

― scott seward

you just don't manderstand

― Οὖτις

"I like to make calls when it's appropriate," says the guy who probably phoned Forbes in the middle of the night to complain about his rich person ranking

― bodak horseman (voodoo chili), Thursday, 19 October 2017 17:39 (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

https://i.imgur.com/W6fd68X.gif

10/19/17: El Tomboto accuses me of decency

― ice cream social justice (Dr Morbius), Thursday, October 19, 2017 7:42 PM (fifty-nine minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

wow, we ended up at dick jokes and Monty Python really quickly

― erry red flag (f. hazel), Monday, October 23, 2017 12:24 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

it's the maleness thread

― ice cream social justice (Dr Morbius), Monday, October 23, 2017 12:26 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

There's totally going to be a scene where he sews a dildo into one of those secret pockets

― Simon H., Monday, October 23, 2017 3:46 PM (one hour ago)

The strange thing is that in real life Daniel Day-Lewis is actually a cobbler and his specialty is embedding dildoes in the soles of his shoes. It's kind of ridiculous when you think about it, this presumption that knowing one thing could actually translate into a meaningful ability to represent the other thing. Hardly method acting, if you ask me.

― Moodles, Monday, October 23, 2017 4:07 PM (one hour ago)

daniel dild-shoeis morelike amirite

― clammy marinara (bizarro gazzara), Monday, October 23, 2017 4:13 PM (one hour ago)

I regret this.

― Simon H., Monday, October 23, 2017 4:14 PM (one hour ago)

there is a prominent ilxor whose name i won't mention who has a pet starling.

― Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Tuesday, October 24, 2017 2:40 PM (seventeen minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Is it named Clarice?

― Marcus Hiles Remains Steadfast About Planting Trees.jpg (DJP), Tuesday, October 24, 2017 2:44 PM (fourteen minutes ago

"he eats rice" is not actually a sick burn, I say fruitlessly into the whirlwind as fellow lefties prepare their blistering "lol he eats rice" takes

― she carries a torch. two torches, actually (Joan Crawford Loves Chachi), Tuesday, October 24, 2017 3:06 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

No no, if anything 'awww, he sure loves his rice!' will be one of the heartwarmingly normalizing things we'll say about that rascal Trump once he's out of office.