PSG ne sera pas sur cette chose - It's the Champions League 2017-2018 thread

he's like a talented scott parker

Haha otm.

If he'd had a man-bun like Bale he'd be worth twice as much. Strange days indeed.

No charisma, scores lots of goals - not exactly unprecedented for English centre forwards, tbh.

Not reliant on white referees ignoring thuggery tbf

If he'd had a man-bun like Bale he'd be worth twice as much

Already worth more than anyone could feasibly pay, even in today's market.

English player premium x preposterously prolific striker x only 24 years old x not being a total fuckin diva to try and work with x the Daniel Levy factor

Maybe if several oil-rich states decide to club together it could be done, but until Kane forces the issue I think he's probably as close to unbuyable as any players get in 2017

Ie. Not Rooney.

xp

@Windsor, no player is unbuyable. He'll not sell as many shirts as Neymar, even though he arguably is better. But he's way duller, and I bet he voted for Brexit - or worse, didn't vote at all. 200m transfer to West Ham in 2021 is on the cards.

He'd be perfect for Real Madrid, replacing Benzema, as much as I hate to admit it.

Kane isn't good enough for a top club

Now fuck off

Have you seen Benzema the last year and a half? Not even I could be worse. Kane would flourish there.

Closer to a more versatile Lineker than a Shearer or Rooney

I hope the space-time continuum won't allow it, hate Madrid with all my heart, but he'd be perfect there.

Needs three chances to score, doesn't create enough for team mates

Sissoko. Sissoko makes this team tick. You want sissoko.

"not Rooney" is a remarkably complete description of Kane tbh

I'll point you to my Patreon shortly, I expect no less than to get filthy rich off of that description.

multiple xposts to LBI

Brexit thing seems a little bit ad hom? he comes off like a thoroughly cosmopolitan young gentleman whenever he's interviewed. also presumably unfazed by the idea of low-wage European labour coming over to undercut him and take his job after the way the Janssen thing went

anyway, i didn't actually say he was unbuyable, i said he was as close as you're gonna get in modern football. given the new paradigm ushered in by the Mbappe/Dembele deals (150m is about what it costs now to buy a player who might turn out to be the best in the world in 5 years, all being well), Harry Kane is easily worth a new transfer record (this'll be Levy's bargaining position at least) and unlike with the whole Neymar/Barca thing, there's nothing in his contract forcing Spurs to sell.

Sissoko man sissoko

No ad hom, merely ILF challops tbh. The lad's alright probably. I was being cocky.

On the transfer thing: the tendency seems to be that clubs - eager to sign the next hot star - splash out more for not nearly/unproven players like Mbappé or Dembele. The dream is always bigger than reality. Ie. the promise of "potentially the greatest player ever" seems to be worth more than great players who are still young yet have proven themselves (ie. Kane). Ofcourse Kane is worth more than Mbappé. Way more. But I wouldn't bet on it if it actually plays out that way.

Lol Deems

Kane is....English dzeko? English huntelaar?

Competency unquestionable and consistency beyond hot-streak at this stage but rarely shows anything that would have a trainee thinking "I'll never be at that level"

Where does he live? Is he married? Pretty sure he doesn't have a Colleen hidden in his basement.

Dzeko and Huntelaar otm. He's the English Inzaghi, for now. Until Madrid pick him up and the earth proves to be flat etc

xp Besides bagging hattricks in the champs league obvs

Would be interested to know where people think alli's ceiling is

Allis ceiling is below what he was rated at during our late season run last season imho

Alli seems tricky. He's got the skills rough diamond like, but the flipping the finger and other shenanigans (stamping on someone's ankle, for one), idk. More talent than Kane obv, but maybe not boring and level-headed enough to make it in this world.

Not sure that it is necessarily obvious that alli is more talented than Kane? joke about kane's low-key demeanour all you like, his performance against Dortmund the other day was astonishing. Not seen the goals from tonight yet

Alli makes bad decisions and has had a few stinking games lately where his base level of technique was amateur

At his best he looks the type/level of player that Kane doesn't, highlights reel, creative, supernatural creative/imaginative stuff.

Not a complaint to bemoan his wide variance of performance within this range, his level of consistency and end product since his late teens has been staggering.

But I think Kane could stay at spurs his whole career and prove that the past three years are no blip. I'm getting a feeling that Alli could regress either in situ or after a huge transfer, and I don't think poch has him under control despite public approval of his bite or w/e

dele is spiky and flash, all perma-frown & elbows, struggling to be perfect with his one good foot. kane has jettisoned his ego in the name of efficiency. the part of the brain normally used for charm has instead been dedicated to neatly side-footing the ball into the bottom corner. he's the perfect poch striker: inexorable rather than devastating; adapts to the game rather than bends it to his will; too steady & reliable to stop improving. he seems much more likely to stay for the long term than dele, and I'm not sure he's the rare english player that wants to play abroad. they work very well together in the league, and it'll be interested to see if they can do it in europe if spurs start to better control games.

Maybe if several oil-rich states decide to club together it could be done, but until Kane forces the issue I think he's probably as close to unbuyable as any players get in 2017

don't see that at all. if someone bid 150m or 200m he'd be gone in a week.

Spurs won't keep him for long unless they change the wage structure. All the sentiment in the world won't matter if he is on £120k and the going rate for strikers of his calibre is three or four times that.

xp i'm not sure that's true, what use wld levy have for 150m right now? everything's going to plan, kane doesn't want away, and spurs have had the cautionary experience of the bale money

they are building a massive new stadium and can't seem to afford to pay anyone v much. i'm sure levy considers the bale sale a success.

150m isn't 150m now

200m might

But

Like LFC and Coutinho, if we can assume that a 120m bid or whatever did come in during the summer there, it's.....idk....cash is shit atm. English teams don't use it well. English clubs very rarely have a setup where a player - whatever his cost, but usually in this geographic context inflated- can be reliably identified, obtained, assimilated. Southampton a notable exception.

So, sell Kane or player X for what seems like a bundle, lovely. Replace him with a worse player for only slightly less because everyone knows you have cash and must be seen to spend it and react to losing a star but you can't either afford not satisfy a player of the same level else player X would still be there.

Then on top of that, the risk of it not working out because of the obscure alchemy involved and ...... Arsenal otm?

I can see him staying at Spurs tbh, he has a Shearer like quality, in so many ways.

the wage issue won't be solved by a one-off injection of cash. the stadium & everything else is all budgeted for. the bale sale was inevitable and was managed well considering, but it shows what a risk the money can be. missing out on the CL would eat up a good chunk of that money and given how tight the top of the league is it seems like too big a risk to say that they'd definitely to the first big bidder

...definitely sell to the first big bidder...

Bob Mortimer’s impersonations of Kane on his Athletico Mince podcast are how I imagine Harry talks all the time now

can't cope with athletico mince since i saw andy dawson's twitter

Yeah id just started listening to the gangs of the EPL stuff on athletico mince with the hilarious spurs gang when I saw Kane and alli doing their ridiculous handshake celebration, perfect

What's up with Andy Dawson's twitter?

he's an incredibly defensive, radgy, miserable, anti-intellectual common-sense type with a huge inferiority complex & he's constantly throwing his toys out the pram

He's also responsible for Get In The Sea and I consequently refuse to engage with anything else he does.

are you saying he should

cska having a shocker here

hilariously bad

nice to see Martial making hay though

PSG two up vs Bayern. They look like they could cut through anyone at the moment.

Just got home. What second half to watch?

Neuer would've had that Cavani shot tbh

Chelsea Atletico game seems well poised

Utd are home and dry

celtic go 2-0 up