I've left my keys in the front door before, once overnight - it's a refreshing all-over mortal chill, which is available in smaller draughts every time that it's been 10 minutes and I can't find them.
― Andrew Farrell, Monday, 25 September 2017 07:54 (six years ago) link
I left the keys to a friend's golf convertible in the door on a busy glasgow street for about 20 minutes... still there when I ran back. If they'd been on the pavement side I might have been less lucky.
― angelo irishagreementi (ledge), Monday, 25 September 2017 07:58 (six years ago) link
I think one of the best features of having changed to a newer car a couple years back is that I don't have to take my keys out of my pocket, and if I do leave them in the car somehow, it makes lots of noises at me.
I've definitely left my keys in the door (now the back door of a house, luckily) but years ago I left them in the door to my apartment overnight!
― mh, Monday, 25 September 2017 13:53 (six years ago) link
my dad drove off with a bunch of financial paperwork on the top of his car. it was an identity thief's dream. by some miracle, it was picked up and returned by some neighbors.
― brimstead, Tuesday, 26 September 2017 01:06 (six years ago) link
O_O
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 26 September 2017 01:24 (six years ago) link
For decades, I've never managed to have a proper hot shower at my parents' house - the hot water always runs out after a couple minutes.
Anyway I just realised I've been turning the hot tap the wrong direction.
― Chuck_Tatum, Thursday, 28 September 2017 14:06 (six years ago) link
omg that is beautiful <3
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 28 September 2017 16:19 (six years ago) link
i should not be allowed to own sunglasses. i lose every single pair i buy, usually within 2-3 weeks of purchase
― brimstead, Saturday, 7 October 2017 18:12 (six years ago) link
In line with my "skeleton head" comment upthread, last night I was trying to talk to B about "that show... you know, the one with the ladies with the weird hats"
He amazingly worked out I meant the Handmaids Tale, while giving me a .... look.
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Sunday, 8 October 2017 03:52 (six years ago) link
Last night I packed my daughter a lunch for school and put it in the fridge. Today is a holiday.
This morning I was supposed to bring a pair of kids rain boots to my car to return at Costco later. I spoke with my wife about it multiple times this morning. I put them on the bench that I pass when I walk out, then took out the shopping cart that I use for costco stuff, put my work bag in the shopping cart, then walked out with the shopping cart, never having actually put them in the cart.
My wife texted me "You forgot the boots. That's impressive even for you."
― IF (Terrorist) Yes, Explain (man alive), Monday, 9 October 2017 21:49 (six years ago) link
My partner is a hero for never losing her shit at this sort of thing.
Recently whenever I lose something - a wallet, a set of keys, a book - she says "Have you checked the fridge?"
This is good advice more often than it should be.
― Chuck_Tatum, Monday, 9 October 2017 22:44 (six years ago) link
I have only found my keys in the fridge once so far. Really starting to feel proud of that.
― mh, Monday, 9 October 2017 23:19 (six years ago) link
the number of times i’ve lost the keys that are in my own hand (and even put them down in order to lift something up in case they’re under there) is frankly disgusting
― rove mcmanus island (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 9 October 2017 23:25 (six years ago) link
No it's beautiful.
― Andrew Farrell, Tuesday, 10 October 2017 11:06 (six years ago) link
I'm at a restaurant and eat an incredibly foul mouthful of french fries. Why? Because - obviously - I've mistaken the candle holder for a vinegar jar and poured liquid paraffin over my entire meal.
― Chuck_Tatum, Sunday, 29 October 2017 22:00 (six years ago) link
It turns out that this recipe doesn't call for me to chop a pepper and then put that in the bin.
― Andrew Farrell, Sunday, 29 October 2017 22:09 (six years ago) link
I ruined some chopped onions, ready for the pan the other day. By sprinkling loads of nutmeg over them instead of cumin. And also i keep injuring my fingertips when I'm cooking, by clumsily thrusting them into sharp objects. It is hard to explain, but i think I'm positively "not reet" tbh.
― calzino, Sunday, 29 October 2017 22:20 (six years ago) link
I've mistaken the candle holder for a vinegar jar
I don't understand how this happens
― El Tomboto, Sunday, 29 October 2017 22:23 (six years ago) link
It was a glass jar holding tea lights or something. It looked *very* like a jar of colourless white vinegar but my clue should've been that the lid had a wick in it.
― Chuck_Tatum, Sunday, 29 October 2017 22:27 (six years ago) link
Aha - like this: http://www.candleland.com/includes/templates/herbally/images/slider2_liquid_paraffin_wax_candle_fuel_cells.jpg
― Chuck_Tatum, Sunday, 29 October 2017 22:29 (six years ago) link
that is very helpful, thank you.
― El Tomboto, Sunday, 29 October 2017 22:34 (six years ago) link
candles should look like candles imosorry bout yr chips :(
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, 29 October 2017 22:35 (six years ago) link
I'm also sorry but I'm also laughing
― niels, Monday, 30 October 2017 08:58 (six years ago) link
I posted the other day about a baseball book I'd just bought (and paid too much for):
Baseball Books
Get home tonight, and there's a book in the mailbox. I buy one or two books online a month--I sometimes don't remember what's sitting there till I open the envelope. When I got in the house and was just about to open it, it hit me all of a sudden what it was: I'd ordered the same book from AbeBooks a couple of weeks ago.
Absent-mindedness: funny, till it starts costing you money.
― clemenza, Wednesday, 1 November 2017 23:11 (six years ago) link
I have not ended up with two copies of a book unintentionally, for a while
I have not remembered that a glass of water was nearby and spilled over a book, leaving me with my guilty wrinkled copy I gifted and then rebought a copy for my hoarder library
― mh, Thursday, 2 November 2017 01:34 (six years ago) link
During a rather prominent poetry reading over the weekend, it was only until after I did my part and got off stage, when someone - granted: politely - pointed me to the fact that the labels of my new shirt had been hanging out. Price tag dangling from the neck, label on the button on the sleeve (wtf) and a store label hanging out. Why do shirts needs so many labels anyway?! I'd bought the shirt the week before but didn't even notice the labels when putting it on yesterday morning because... of course I didn't. Sad lol.
― Le Bateau Ivre, Sunday, 5 November 2017 23:22 (six years ago) link
I bought ice cream for the first time in a while yesterday. I’ve already put it into the fridge instead of the freezer twice already.
― mh, Sunday, 5 November 2017 23:35 (six years ago) link
LBI, I think you can somehow chalk that up to um, poetic license in fashion
― mh, Sunday, 5 November 2017 23:36 (six years ago) link
oh yeah, I also showed up to work this week only to find a pair of underwear stuck in the leg of my pants, again
I wouldn't fall for it, but nevertheless you might have a point there. "Oh artsy poetry person forgets his labels nbd". But that's not meeee.... Though maybe it is, after yesterday's drama forgetting to take out the labels, idk.
xp omg haha, i've been there
― Le Bateau Ivre, Sunday, 5 November 2017 23:38 (six years ago) link
Discovered that I had written sandwich things on a grocery list this weekend. I couldn't make any sense of it. I didn't remember wanting a sandwich or receiving a sandwich request from anyone else. But it was there on the list, so I piled a variety of vegetables, cheeses, and bread into my cart. After I got home and unpacked, I realized that I had meant sandwich-sized food storage containers.
― how's life, Monday, 6 November 2017 14:36 (six years ago) link
Sandwicher Things
https://www.autostraddle.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/eleven-stranger-things.jpg
― pplains, Monday, 6 November 2017 14:45 (six years ago) link
today’s a lovely warm day, so i caught 2.5 hrs of public transport and walked 3 hrs into this lovely lovely forest, and have only just realised i left a packet of sausages on the kitchen floor
― rove mcmanus island (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 11 November 2017 01:54 (six years ago) link
lol that story did not end the way I expected it to
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 11 November 2017 04:31 (six years ago) link
sausage crisis averted
― rove mcmanus island (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 11 November 2017 09:48 (six years ago) link
Every morning I make myself an iced coffee. Set some water up to boil, add grounds to the french press, and fill a travel mug with ice. Just poured the boiling water into the cup full of ice instead of the french press.
― how's life, Saturday, 11 November 2017 11:33 (six years ago) link
I don't know where to post this so I'm going to post this here, despite it being the opposite of what this thread is about. Normally at the beginning of January I'm continually writing the previous year on dates. Haven't done it once so far. But maybe that's because I'm thinking "ffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck it's 2018".
― 2018 has to be better (snoball), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 18:34 (six years ago) link
My home bathroom has one of those slow-descending toilet seats, so you can put the toilet seat down without it slamming and making a loud noise.
Alternatively you can:
1. Do your business then flush the toilet2. Put the toilet seat down3. Bend over to pick a pound coin off the floor4. Get punched in the face by your own toilet seat
― Chuck_Tatum, Tuesday, 9 January 2018 23:01 (six years ago) link
lol oh no
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 9 January 2018 23:07 (six years ago) link
man that is rough
― pee-wee and the power men (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 9 January 2018 23:08 (six years ago) link
I had the opposite, or something, of absent mindedness today when I spent the entire day planning for my wife being away in England this weekend. I'm able to play a Sunday game I usually skip, I've a few pints set up on Saturday and am meeting a fella for brunch. All sociable don't spend the weekend mooching in the apt stuff.
My wife isn't away in England this weekend. She isn't away in England any weekend coming up. She has no plans to visit England again that are concrete or have been discussed.
I have no idea whether I dreamt it or have been incepted. I'm still keeping all the plans tho as I've no idea how to explain it. And pints and a match obv.
― remember the lmao (darraghmac), Wednesday, 10 January 2018 00:14 (six years ago) link
I mean...is that worrisome? Now I write it down.
― remember the lmao (darraghmac), Wednesday, 10 January 2018 00:15 (six years ago) link
I'm not even writing 2017 on anything.
I'm going into my hard drive to look for a file from last September, pulling up a folder and going "What is this shit?" before realizing, Oh yes. Last September was in the year 2017, not 2016.
― pplains, Wednesday, 10 January 2018 00:55 (six years ago) link
xxxpAt least it wasn't a penny.
― nickn, Wednesday, 10 January 2018 00:56 (six years ago) link
Also, my manager has this enewsletter he sends out each morning to our subscribers. Last week, he tells me he's going out of town, could I do it. So I get up pre-dawn, work this stupid thing up in a text file so I can put it all into our CMS template when I'm done.
I get into the CMS and he's already left an item about the BCS game last night. Oh that's fine, happy he could help, I forgot the video capsules anyway. I start adding my content, click preview, looks good, go back to the template AND IT'S ALL GONE.
And changed. Manager's added like four more stories over mine. I message him and go WHAT ARE YOU DOING and he says, dude, I'm not going out of town until Thursday. What's wrong with you?
Oh, man. I stood on a corner this morning just hoping that email would say "Tuesday", but no, it said Thursday. Twice.
― pplains, Wednesday, 10 January 2018 01:00 (six years ago) link
Yeah I mean year changes look it's january.but ain't no reason not to know what Tuesday is (or what country your wife is in)
― remember the lmao (darraghmac), Wednesday, 10 January 2018 01:11 (six years ago) link
3. Bend over to pick a pound coin off the floor4. Get punched in the face by your own toilet seatgenuinely sorry it happened to you, but in my head this is just incredible
― rove mcmanus island (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 10 January 2018 01:46 (six years ago) link
Yeah my klutziness is getting baroque in my old age. A few months ago at work, just before a big meeting, I managed to pour a cup of coffee over my head, and I was like "how is they even possible???" (Answer: Don't try to take something down from a high shelf and forget you're holding a cup of coffee.)
― Chuck_Tatum, Wednesday, 10 January 2018 07:46 (six years ago) link
I cant begin to tell you the amount of times Ive injured myself in similar bizarre ways. My bf is convinced I am going to die from a papercut, stair mishap or drinking glass malfunction.
For example right now my right ankle is swollen up and bruised and *I dont know why*. I think it happened on NYE or a few days after at a mates house but I have no recall of hitting me ankle - but then again, I am constantly tripping over/whacking wrists/ankles/cutting fingers open etc.
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Wednesday, 10 January 2018 07:49 (six years ago) link
My right ankle is totally the same this morning! And similarly no idea. It must be an epidemic for which we're totally blameless.
― Chuck_Tatum, Wednesday, 10 January 2018 09:42 (six years ago) link